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uihitman
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Registered: 02/14/11
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not sure if i experienced ego death
#14110620 - 03/12/11 06:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I've been reading up on ego death recently because I'm not sure if I experienced it or not. It's my understanding that ego death can allow you to see yourself purely and for who you are, not who you've turned yourself into. When I did shrooms for the 2nd time, they were dehydrated so I made them into a hot cocoa and drank it on an empty stomach. It was about 2 grams worth. The part of the trip I'm wondering about was when I closed my eyes for a good hour I think, maybe 2. There was a period where I forgot everything. I forgot my eyes were closed, I forgot I was on shrooms, and I forgot who I was. All my memories were gone, I forgot my name or who I was or what defined me. This frightened me, and I was worried that because I seemed to just be in suspended consciousness and could not define who or what I was, that I would simply cease to exist. I didn't see myself in a pure form, it's more like I just was in a state of pure existance, which was initially freeing, but became frightening. Thoughts? I realize ego death can be different for everybody, I'm just not sure if what I experienced was ego death or just me thinking too much and freaking myself out
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jivJaN
yes


Registered: 08/09/08
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Re: not sure if i experienced ego death [Re: uihitman] 1
#14110773 - 03/12/11 07:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Sounds like you got pretty close.
Quote:
I was worried that because I seemed to just be in suspended consciousness and could not define who or what I was, that I would simply cease to exist.
These are the normal thoughts BEFORE it actually happens. For me it was on more mushrooms and i did it in complete darkness. AFter a while .. every thought i would get would seem.. stupid. A weak attempt to explain something that i can't explain. This is the essence of the ego basically. It constantly tries to define, conceptualize. All these definitions didn't seem true to me as i approached the peak. The more i denied the validity of my thoughts the more they started slowing down and getting quieter, so to speak.
Chronic has a cool sig that explains this
Neti Neti
i guess it means
Not this Not this
As you affirm this continuously , you cease identifying with the thought processes and finally you experience what is called thoughtlessness. That is ego death. When you get passed the part where you're afraid that you will cease existing.
It actually isn't a REAL existential crisis. It's not the identity that is afraid. It is simply the momentum of the thought processes. In a sense.. your thoughts don't want to stop because you are used to contriving your identity from them. You know that famous quote - I think therefore i am. Well .. you need to prove to yourself the complete opposite. That you do indeed exist without thought. Once you get to the point where you are aware that you're alive.. fully existing.. yet there is no thought creeping up to doubt or affirm it... that is ego death.
Stillness. Once the pond is still.. you can get a clear reflection.
or something along those lines 
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--------------------- All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional. They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively. I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal. If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..
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Cognitive_Shift
CS actual




Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 29,591
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Re: not sure if i experienced ego death [Re: uihitman]
#14110863 - 03/12/11 07:38 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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If your not sure then you didn't get there. It's kinda like the act of tripping it's self, you can't describe it very well with words but you just know when you experience it.
-------------------- L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs
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tyler_0_durden
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Re: not sure if i experienced ego death [Re: jivJaN]
#14110883 - 03/12/11 07:40 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I find ego death to be easily discernible when I'm having peak visuals on a psychedelic and they are so strong that I cannot readily identify myself--essentially I feel like I'm just a part of the surroundings, and I have to question my own existence at that point. When that question pops into my head, I know I've reached that point. The body feeling is also very crucial to this process for me. If I can still feel the confines of my body, I'm not there yet.
Ego death is sometimes scary, sometimes comforting to experience.
I don't do psychedelics much now though so I haven't reached that point in a while.
I can get there on LSD. Shrooms are more difficult for me. I tried a 7g dose and didn't quite get there.
Quote:
Cognitive_Shift said: If your not sure then you didn't get there. It's kinda like the act of tripping it's self, you can't describe it very well with words but you just know when you experience it.
QFT
-------------------- "As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clear headed science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter." --Max Planck
Edited by tyler_0_durden (03/12/11 07:43 PM)
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jivJaN
yes


Registered: 08/09/08
Posts: 4,245
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Re: not sure if i experienced ego death [Re: tyler_0_durden]
#14111717 - 03/12/11 10:01 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
I tried a 7g dose and didn't quite get there.
me 2
then i accidentally came across some azure.. and lost my marbles from only 1 mushroom.
you just have to find a good strain.
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--------------------- All my posts in this forum are strictly fictional. They are derived from an acute mental illness , from which i am forced to lie compulsively. I have never induced any kind of mind altering substance in my life and i have no intentions whatsoever of doing anything illegal. If I have ever suggested such a thing it would have most likely been , due to my personality disorder and i probably do not remember it at all..
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tyler_0_durden
Stranger


Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 1,861
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: not sure if i experienced ego death [Re: jivJaN]
#14111745 - 03/12/11 10:08 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
jivJaN said:
Quote:
I tried a 7g dose and didn't quite get there.
me 2
then i accidentally came across some azure.. and lost my marbles from only 1 mushroom.
you just have to find a good strain.
I definitely think cyans (for my area) would do the trick. I took 2g once and had about a level 4 trip. It's just a matter of finding them, they're out of season and I hear they're hard to grow.
Azures are stronger than cyans though right?
-------------------- "As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clear headed science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter." --Max Planck
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teknix
𓂀⟁𓅢𓍝𓅃𓊰𓉡 𓁼𓆗⨻


Registered: 09/16/08
Posts: 11,953
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Re: not sure if i experienced ego death [Re: uihitman]
#14112134 - 03/12/11 11:26 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
uihitman said: I've been reading up on ego death recently because I'm not sure if I experienced it or not. It's my understanding that ego death can allow you to see yourself purely and for who you are, not who you've turned yourself into. When I did shrooms for the 2nd time, they were dehydrated so I made them into a hot cocoa and drank it on an empty stomach. It was about 2 grams worth. The part of the trip I'm wondering about was when I closed my eyes for a good hour I think, maybe 2. There was a period where I forgot everything. I forgot my eyes were closed, I forgot I was on shrooms, and I forgot who I was. All my memories were gone, I forgot my name or who I was or what defined me. This frightened me, and I was worried that because I seemed to just be in suspended consciousness and could not define who or what I was, that I would simply cease to exist. I didn't see myself in a pure form, it's more like I just was in a state of pure existance, which was initially freeing, but became frightening. Thoughts? I realize ego death can be different for everybody, I'm just not sure if what I experienced was ego death or just me thinking too much and freaking myself out
Yeah, that's pretty good. I would recommend to drop your anchor, as your ego was a sort of self protection mechanism as well.
I think that shrooms sometime tend to by-pass the anchoring that comes from working from the bottom up.
You will be going from the top down, but to fully experience your awakened state you might want to become familiar with the rest of the aspects of your true self as well.
This is probably wrong place to post this because of the critics here, This is more of a Spirituality topic.
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