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InvisibleCidneyIndole
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Time Management and Self Discipline tips? * 1
    #14094620 - 03/09/11 07:57 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Okay, so long story short is that I need to do a lot of work on myself, and improving my life.

I have identified Time Management and Self Discipline as being two problem areas that I need to work on.

I recently read something that I think gave me a little more insight on time management. The gist was:  if you spend all of your time on tasks that are "urgent" (the kind that pop up on an almost daily basis... washing dishes, etc) but not "important" (those that have a high value to you, and relate to goals or ideals you have) that you can end up feeling run-down and beating yourself up for not accomplishing more, because you're taking care of the day-to-day but not reaching goals or finding fulfillment.

I've always wondered about the seemingly super people who juggle full time school with work, relationships, and occasional leisure. I have always seemed to struggle keeping any ONE of those going in a forward direction, let alone all of them at once.

Anyway, all this should also make it obvious, that I may have an issue with self-control / self-discipline....

Anyone else have problems with this? How do you deal with it?

For those Super Folks... please tell me how I can absorb your secret powers without eating your brains.


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OfflinePDU
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: CidneyIndole]
    #14094692 - 03/09/11 08:09 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I would be interested to know this aswell.

Working 45hrs/week + working out and then just doing things like cleaning, cooking and shopping leaves me with very little energy.

I usually just want to relax by the time the weekend roles around.

I would love to "find time" (and energy) where it seems there is none.


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Offlinemasterharf
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: PDU] * 1
    #14095230 - 03/09/11 09:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

well, my manager is one of these super people and his secret is cocaine and adderall.


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InvisibleCidneyIndole
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: masterharf]
    #14095378 - 03/09/11 10:20 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

masterharf said:
well, my manager is one of these super people and his secret is cocaine and adderall.





I'll take that as perfectly valid. So maybe I should specify that I'm looking for methods that do not involve addictive stimulants.

I probably would benefit from scripted adderall, but that will never ever happen. I'm about as likely to get a script for MDMA .


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: CidneyIndole] * 1
    #14096222 - 03/10/11 02:33 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

What does 'time management' mean to you? How would things be different if you had good time management? What would you be doing differently if you had good time management? How would your experience of life be different if you had good time management? How would you know if you have good time management? Would you believe you had good time management if you had good time management? After answering all these questions, would you still want to improve your time management?

I'm also curious what the answers to the above questions might be if you replaced the time management with self discipline.



Time management is quite easy. Work out how much time you have to do all the things you need to do, work out how much time you need to do each thing, then kind of like playing tetris, just make the best fit of all the things you need to do into the available time you have. Like tetris, not everything will fit and sometimes you might fuck up the fit, but just learn from it, move on, and keep playing. Also like tetris it seems like things speed up the longer you play...

Self discipline can be fun... depending on what you choose to flagellate yourself with.


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InvisibleCidneyIndole
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: Mufungo]
    #14096310 - 03/10/11 03:18 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

You're a strange cat. That's cool. :laugh:

I have tried the tetris method, AKA loose-scheduling, and that is the primary method I seem to have problems with. If I try to schedule too much it is too rigid or I beat myself up for not following it, and if it's too loose, it's not as helpful.

The thing I mentioned in the OP, about trying to do "important" tasks (things more related to your goals, or that have a high value in your life) before doing "urgent" tasks, like laundry or dishes, that will ALWAYS be popping up again and again.... that, to me, seemed like  really neat time-management concept,

To me it is about how to use your time more effectively, or (more acurately)to use it in a way that you will later appreciate and be happy with, rather than regret, and stress or beat yourself up...

Self discipline is one of those easier said than done things, it seems. From what I've gathered, people seem to approach this idea a little differently, so I was hoping to get some viewpoints.



Quote:

Self discipline can be fun... depending on what you choose to flagellate yourself with.





For example--can you elaborate on this?


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: CidneyIndole]
    #14096386 - 03/10/11 04:42 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

CidneyIndole said:
I have tried the tetris method, AKA loose-scheduling, and that is the primary method I seem to have problems with. If I try to schedule too much it is too rigid or I beat myself up for not following it, and if it's too loose, it's not as helpful.

...

To me it is about how to use your time more effectively, or (more acurately)to use it in a way that you will later appreciate and be happy with, rather than regret, and stress or beat yourself up...





If you never had regrets, didn't stress, and never beat yourself up, then would you care about your time management? What I mean is, if you could achieve that outcome in a different way other than improving time management, would you consider the alternative instead?

From what you said about what you tried, it might not be a time management issue but rather just not doing what you had planned to do when you had planned to do it. That would seem like you weren't motivated to do the things you had planned when you had planned to do them. Because if you were motivated, I would expect that they would have been done. When it comes to motivation, that's easy...

Quote:

CidneyIndole said:
Self discipline is one of those easier said than done things, it seems. From what I've gathered, people seem to approach this idea a little differently, so I was hoping to get some viewpoints.





The concept of self discipline in my mind conjures up ideas of one agent dominating another making them submit to some act or behaviour they normally wouldn't do when the dominating agent wasn't there. And as such, people who believe in "self discipline" usually have to constantly "work" at the behaviour they want to engage in until Stockholm syndrome sets in and they then can say with a sense of victory they are "self disciplined"! (past tense)

But if the wanted outcome is just doing stuff or in other words, achieving things, then self discipline isn't always needed, is it? I personally prefer to engage in self discipline as little as possible.

Quote:

CidneyIndole said:
Quote:

Self discipline can be fun... depending on what you choose to flagellate yourself with.




For example--can you elaborate on this?




I was just playing with words. But if we were to run with the metaphor... how many ways could someone enjoy disciplining oneself in a fun way? ..I don't know exactly what response that would motivate more of though??


But to step out of the situation and away from the area of concern for a moment. From the outside looking in, it seems that desiring better time management and self discipline could be just further distractions from you going out and doing the other shit you have to do in order to feel like you have achieved something and have no reason for regrets and no reason to beat yourself up. If the issue is avoiding doing things, then it's not going to be solved by further avoiding them. The longer you don't do that, the longer you'll have to wait and wait. And eventually patience gives way to frustration, and when you feel frustrated enough about not having done what you needed to in order to feel good already, then impatience and restlessness sets in, until you can't stand it any more and you really feel it just has to be done already and you burst into action! If what you want to get done is difficult, then break it down to smaller parts/activities. If what you want to get done is simple but therefore unmotivating, then build it up to see how it fits into the bigger picture until it becomes motivating to do, and just do it.


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InvisibleCidneyIndole
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: Mufungo]
    #14096397 - 03/10/11 04:59 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

wow. That was really well said.

I'm presently tired to the point where any response to that will  approximate a small child attempting to divide zero by pi.

(and so need to rest now)

But that was brilliant, thank you!

Will respond in detail later.


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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: CidneyIndole]
    #14097203 - 03/10/11 11:14 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

meditate. and everything you do will be revealed to you. it becomes obvious what you need to do differentlly. then it just takes action


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InvisibleChiefGreenLeaf
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #14097208 - 03/10/11 11:14 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Ask yourself?

What should I REALLY be doing?

ponder


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: ChiefGreenLeaf]
    #14097349 - 03/10/11 11:44 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

time management?  self discipline?  Start by logging off t3h shr00m3ry


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Invisibleschmoopy
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: memes]
    #14102038 - 03/11/11 01:32 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

It's a constant work in progress.

meditation
making lists
keeping a calendar


As soon as I stopped resisting keeping a detailed calendar/planner and started writing down and planning happenings in life, I started feeling more relaxed and responsible.
I think I used to be afraid that by being "too organized" I would be restricting my own freedom. Quite the opposite though, life keeps happening whether I do a good job of keeping track of it or not. Now I just write down appointments, events, classes, deadlines, etc.
I write it down and forget about it until reviewing the calendar. Lists work the same way. (when I'm disciplined enough to do them :wink:
and meditation can initially be as simple as just 5 minutes of sitting there observing everything that is going on around you.
Or just observing your breath.
Or the layers of noise you hear.
or the light passing through the eyelids.

A lot of the time management and self discipline issues are in the mind. Quiet the mind and there is no problem.

I'm just sayin what's worked for me. I have struggled, and continue to struggle with the same issues.
baby steps.


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InvisibleCidneyIndole
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: schmoopy]
    #14104367 - 03/11/11 02:48 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Mufungo... I do think I have direct, specific "time management" issues that do need to be addressed. (I am talking from a basic level, where I am unmedicated ADD and sometimes have issues keeping my stuff organized.)

but I do kind of get what you're getting at, if you get me..

If I could choose to never worry, and never beat myself up, I would take that other road, for sure. But while I will agree that "happiness" is a state of mind, and that shifting perspective can count for a lot, I like to be realistic and I know that if i want to feel a sense of well being and acceptance about myself, I need to accomplish certain goals. And time management and self discipline are all about methods that allow me to reach whatever these "goals" are, more easily.

Like I said, sometimes the "goals" are even really simple, like cleaning the apartment, or ADL's.

I do think "self discipline" is a factor insofar as SOMETIMES it does seem like I have to force myself, or train myself to do things that are good for me. Like quitting smoking, for example. Or improving my eating habits.

You did, however, touch on a key point of major importance:  These things (time management, self improvement, whatever) will only help insofar as they are not distracting me from actually doing the other stuff that will make me feel better about my life.

And that being said, sometimes I think it a matter of not having motivation. Sometimes things seem "hopeless" or "pointless" which can lead to apathetic, defeatist thinking, where I can barely see a good valid reason to take an action.  After a while, that kind of thing can even become a pattern, where you're more apt to sit and worry, than act, about even a simple thing.

This is a long cycle I'm still trying to pull out of....

schmoopy... thank you for sharing your experience, and the input.

I also am reluctant to make calendars or plans in that way... but maybe I should "discipline" myself to start, or something...


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InvisibleAlteredAgain
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: CidneyIndole]
    #14105537 - 03/11/11 07:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)
Log in to view attachment

Theodore Bryant “Self-Discipline in 10 Days: How to Go From Thinking to Doing"

Meet Hyde, the part of you that doesn't want self-discipline.

I have yet to do the whole program. I haven't had enough discipline to follow through with it. :tongue:


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InvisibleCidneyIndole
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #14106096 - 03/11/11 09:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Thanks. I will check that out.

And speaking of which...haha... that reminds me of one that I never quite followed through with.

I actually started, and I was doing well, but then my life went to hell almost overnight, and I forgot about it for a while. (Don't take that as testimonial for the course--lol, it may have actually helped me through this period)


It's a course called "Mind Powers" by John Kehoe. Interesting stuff.


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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: CidneyIndole]
    #14106776 - 03/11/11 11:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

This thread is fascinating...


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InvisibleMufungo
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: CidneyIndole]
    #14107371 - 03/12/11 03:45 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

CidneyIndole said:
Mufungo... I do think I have direct, specific "time management" issues that do need to be addressed. (I am talking from a basic level, where I am unmedicated ADD and sometimes have issues keeping my stuff organized.)





By saying they are "direct and specific time management" issues can be a good thing if by that you mean that the time management issues can be clearly and concisely described. Because then when you think about it can you  also imagine direct and specific time management solutions you can have a shot at possibly?


Quote:

CidneyIndole said:
If I could choose to never worry, and never beat myself up, I would take that other road, for sure.

...

And time management and self discipline are all about methods that allow me to reach whatever these "goals" are, more easily.





Sure it is partly a choice at some level, but I should have been clearer cause that wasn't what I was getting at. My question on that was more about finding out from you whether you'd still want to  learn time management and self discipline skills  if there wasn't any  reward of realising you never worried and never beat yourself up anymore after you've  got the skills. Kind of like looking at whether learning the time management skills are just a "means to an end" (i.e. probably not worth learning if it didn't achieve the desired end) or an "end unto itself" (i.e. having time management skills is reward in and of itself and thus worth learning even if it didn't achieve the other achievements) or a mixture of both.

From what you said, I get the impression that you're wanting to  learn the skills  as a means to another achievement but also slightly as an end in and of itself and  be happy with your skills.


So it seems like you've got some information already about how to  begin implementing time management and self discipline practice.  If you practice with the other things you want to get done, I suppose you will have knocked off two birds with one stone.  Be aware that behaviour change is rarely complete all at once and relapse into old habits is fairly predictable and a part of the process. So you'll might have more ammunition to beat yourself up when if you were to slip back to old habits. It's then a smart thing to prepare and be at peace with that. But on the bright side, research suggests that the more persistent a person is at eventually jumping back on the horse if they fall off, the sooner they'll learn to stay on for longer and longer and over more rugged terrain. (does the analogy make sense?) Look into Motivational Interviewing reasearch for more on that.


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Offlineandybiz
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: CidneyIndole]
    #15765393 - 02/05/12 06:06 PM (11 years, 11 months ago)

It's not surprising you are experiencing both as your problem. A lot of people are. Time Management and Self Discipline are interrelated.

Someone once told me that the word 'time management' is misleading. That is because we are not managing time, we should be managing ourselves.

I personally struggled with this problem too. To solve the problem, I did this technique:

In the evening, I plan my day ahead. I make a to-do list with all my priorities for the next day. On the work day itself, I do the tasks one by one. I never multitask (this is counter productive). I even use a software for time management to keep track of the work hours I spend and the tasks I do. This keeps me focused and organized. At the end of the day, I evaluate my performance and then I plan again for the next day.

This method worked well for me. I have never been more productive than ever. Hope that helps you too.


Edited by andybiz (02/13/12 04:25 PM)


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InvisibleAlteredAgain
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Re: Time Management and Self Discipline tips? [Re: CidneyIndole]
    #15767444 - 02/06/12 07:48 AM (11 years, 11 months ago)

Check out GTD or Moleskine GTD Hacks.

It basically involves task management in a notebook. GTD is basically about getting stuff out of your head and into a manageable system.
I custom made my own personal analog assistant over the weekend and am now giving it a go.

So far it's neat. Once you actually see what you need to do to get things done, tasks become more tangible, and the next action becomes more obvious.

Here's some links to explore:

http://www.43folders.com/2004/09/08/getting-started-with-getting-things-done
http://archives.estonbond.com/2006/11/hacking-a-gtd-moleskine/
http://comfortableshoesstudio.blogspot.com/2006/08/planner.html
http://www.diyplanner.com/taxonomy/term/22
http://www.43folders.com/2004/09/03/introducing-the-hipster-pda
http://wiki.43folders.com/index.php/Category:Life_hacks


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