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OfflineMickel
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Registered: 02/25/03
Posts: 242
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
I need some serious help
    #1409324 - 03/25/03 05:47 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I Have social anxiety disorder. my thoughts become numb when I talk to people even to most of my friends. I rarely talk alot only when i'm drunk. I can't bring my words to make sentences, my voice becomes shaky, my whole body starts to shake. This gets really bad when i'm smoking pot around people but when especially when I'm around other people. the people that I associate with at school are all stoners and think I am athe biggest of them all (they assume that cause I am a loser and don't stick up for myself when one of my friends makes fun of me they all do.)

I got stoned with the one that makes fun on me, His name is Dave. I had some confidence going over to his house. We make little conversation about weed then we didn't say anything more we just toked up. took a few tokes and I was getting extremely paranoid about how i acted and that it was the middle of the day and he could just look at my face and me. paranoia, anxiety and how i'm getting it real bad was all i was trhinking. I felt so weak when we were just walking and felt really ugly. I just wanted to be home where I have been living for the last 15 years. be on the couch and just resting. We then met another kid who went to my old school. I sat down on the cement. Dave then turned to the kid and asked him "don't you think chads ugly, turns looks at me "he is ugly"'. I didn't say shit.

He only makes fun of me because I don't talk. He knows I won't stand up for myself. Basically thats it, my social phobia is screwing everything I do including wanting to get new friends, and hobbies. I have been looking up on the internet everything about social anxiety and have read books on it but I still don't know what to do. I practice breathing techniques in this book but it dosn't seem to be working. I can't do it it's to hard for me plus My anxiety just hits me when I'm in the middle of talking and I just stop talking because I can't think.

I once did mushrooms when I was feeling depressed because everyone was making fun of me at school (well the people I hang around with) so I wanted to try drugs and get my head fucked up so that I could talk to people and not be shy. Boy did I get the shittiest trip ever. I had no idea what to do because all I could think about was those assholes and what their doing to me. when i was on mush I wanted the pain to go away so I wanted to cut myself. I didn't but I still felt like shit. What i learned from the trip was that I have absolutley no hobbies, theres nothing that I do besides drugs and tv.

If you actually red all this thanks and if you have anything you want to say then say it but please say it in a way where you can help me with my situation.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1409380 - 03/25/03 06:09 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Hey man, I feel your pain, I've always had anxiety problems and have had them almost as extreme as yours.  Not long ago, a few bad trips really aggravated it and made it much more intense.  I've slowly began overcoming it but its not easy.  I can offer a few tips...

Niacinamide - Vitamin B3 No-Flush supplements.  You can find this at your local GNC or drug store.  Be sure to get niacinamide and not niacin (has some unpleasant side effects).  I think they come in 100mg, 250mg, and 500mg tablets.  A dose of about 250mg in the morning greatly relieves social anxiety throughout the day until usually around dinner, when I take another 100mg.  Its way of removing the anxiety feels a lot like a benzo (valium, xanax, etc).

Stop associating with negative friends that depress you and drag you down.  This might be hard if they are your only friends, but they aren't good people to be around if they are always fucking with you. 

You also might want to lay off the bud, it definetly impairs social function.  PM me if you any questions or just ask here, I'll respond :smile:


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OfflineMickel
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Registered: 02/25/03
Posts: 242
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1409491 - 03/25/03 06:44 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Thanks Man, How much does vitamin B3 cost? and do you know of any good prescription medication to take instead of Paxil because it doesn't seem to be working.


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Anonymous #1

Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1409530 - 03/25/03 06:56 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I think my bottle of 250-100mg tablets was $4.99 from GNC.

You might request Valium or another benzo from your doctor, but be aware of the possible side effects. 250mg B3 (NiacinAMIDE) seems to work almost as well as 10mg of valium (standard dose) for me.

Also, you might want to begin working out, it will improve self-image a lot.


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
[Re: Organic]
    #1409765 - 03/25/03 08:18 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)



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Offlineenotake2
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Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1409986 - 03/25/03 10:37 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I agree with everything everyone else said. I used to have social anxiety from age 13 to 26. I never thought anything would help but then I went to a clinical psychologist who specialises in anxiety, and it was gone in 3 sessions. After that I tutored at university for a year and public speaking was one of my worst problems before the therapy. I'd recommend seeing a clinical psychologist. The one I saw also was an academic at university so he was up on the latest. If there is a uni in your area, I'd recommend seeing someone there if you wanted to try this option.


--------------------
Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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InvisibleMeat_Log_Smurf
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Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 1,144
Loc: BFE
Re: I need some serious help [Re: enotake2]
    #1410002 - 03/25/03 11:00 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Next time someone makes fun of you tell them to STFU and punch them in the nuts. Thats the best way to earn respect. Then when they are on the floor in obvious pain stand over them and say,"Listen bitch the next time you make fun of me your gonna be eating a dose of vitamin lead," or something to that effect. Maybe kick them a few times, not in the head thou maybe the small of the back or in the stomach. Oh yea if its a girl dont hit her. Just tell her you think shes dirty and you dont talk to dirty girls.


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Offlineshaggy101
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Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1410096 - 03/26/03 01:12 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Heh dude, MLS actually has a point, although it may sound silly.
It also might not be for you, some people really are just naturaly quiet most of the time.
But from the sound of it you do like to socialize your just paranoid..and you know what its ok bro!

If the people you hang with cant see that there words hurt then they either think its all a joke or there pricks, if so lose um there not worth it.

All I can do is tell you what helped me.
I realized that it doesnt matter what others think! It is not there perception of you that makes you..Its yours!
Dont let others opinions shape you.
you are a amazing human bieng. we all have alot to bring to the table.
What I am trying to say is LET LOOSE! :laugh: :tongue: :laugh:

I know it may not seem possible but trust me man it is.
Think of it like this if things are as bad as  you say what do you have to lose!
sing a song as you walk down the hallway.
Wink at a pretty girl( if she dont like it remember its HER loss! )
Make funny noises ina conversation.
just be you.
Most importantly find a friend that you can relate to, It may seem hard but we are out there.
There are lots of people that arent there to judge that like meeting new people, and  know how hard life can be.

If you cant find someone keep talking to us :cool:

I know this advice sounds strange..but dude I know where your coming from, and I overcame it!
remember not to let others opinions make you, look inside and remeber that you are great!

We are all your friends here :laugh:
peace ..PM me if you want to talk  (I mean that) 


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Anonymous #1

Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1410169 - 03/26/03 03:08 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

i suggest an instant confidence builder. next time someone says something wise to you, don't say a word. calming walk up to him and go crazy. let out all your emotions and built up rage, but shape them into well guided punches. don't give in, and don't stop fighting, keep him on the defensive.. and pummel him to the ground. when you see him go total defensive then stop fighting. just because your quiet doesn't mean you don't have confidence and strength, its in you. you need to find it and bring it out. this experience will be tremendously rewarding and it will give you confidence to be anyone you want to be, even if its quiet.


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OfflineSheepish
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Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1410215 - 03/26/03 03:57 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

First you need to start by getting rid of your friends. I remember all too clearly hanging around assholes, that did nothing but make me feel worse, and be the shittiest friends you could ever imagine. What kind of a friend picks on you when it's obviously not your fault? Find some friends who can accept you for who you are. I'm personally pretty quiet, and I have finally found some friends that can deal with that. They don't mock me about it (but we do insult each other sometimes, but it's all good natured fun, and we know that we're just joking), they're VERY supportive, and when I feel really bad about something, they'll be there for me.
Quitting weed will make things a bit better. What it does is enhances what you feel, so basically when you feel weak, vunerable, shy, and introverted, it will just amplify that. I notice similar effects, but not as bad as that, and so I try to avoid smoking too much when I'm around other people. You can do things that don't require conversation, like listen to music (always enjoyable to do, except if you're freaking out), watch movies, etc. People who normally talk a lot will generally be very chatty when they're stoned, but it's not the same for people like us (introverted, shy, quiet people).
Social anxiety is a pretty shitty thing to have to deal with, and it seems quite common. One of the worst things is the common dilemma of wanting to be alone to avoid all those things happening, but at the same time being lonely and wanting company. The only way you can get around that is to find people who truly can be your friend and look past any superficial things like that. Don't let your current friends push you round, leave them behind, because they feed on your reactions. Show them you won't take anymore shit from them and you no longer want anything to do with them. Once you have friends that will stick by you, then if they try and cause shit, you will have someone to look out for you!
Good luck.


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OfflineFliquid
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Registered: 03/18/02
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Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1410225 - 03/26/03 04:04 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Dave then turned to the kid and asked him "don't you think chads ugly, turns looks at me "he is ugly"'. I didn't say shit.

You could see it in two ways:
- Its a joke. (If you can't handle it, warn Dave about it before smoking.)
- He's fucking with you, because he knows you freak out if he talks like that.

But i think its supposed to be a joke. People who make those kinds of jokes, don't know how to communicate with quiet people like you. Thats why you should warn him. If he doesn't respect the fact that it hurts you. Dump him.

There are two kinds of worlds, the everyday world and the tripping world.
Most shy, insecure, self-confidence lacking  people are more relaxed in the tripping world. But you should take on one world at a time. And first learn on your own to understand yourself before showing yourself in both worlds to other people.

As last, find good friends. Not idiots... If we would be living near, we would definately be friends. I'm sure. Be alive for yourself.  :wink: 


--------------------
:dancing: My latest music! :yesnod:


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
[Re: Fliquid]
    #1410291 - 03/26/03 04:58 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)



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Anonymous #1

Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1411371 - 03/26/03 12:46 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

- Post History Deleted Upon User's Request -


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InvisibleMeat_Log_Smurf
FumbDuck

Registered: 01/31/03
Posts: 1,144
Loc: BFE
Re: I need some serious help [Re: ]
    #1411661 - 03/26/03 03:10 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

lmao I hope your not calling my advice good Mr. Mush. I was just kidding. No Mickel you really don't need to resort to violence but you should tell your so called friends that make fun of you "AMF", or Adios Mother F**ker. You will find out that what you usually perceive as the "in crowd", will not be so "in" in around 5 years. Surround yourself with people that you can trust and people that really care about you. A real friend will like you for who you are and not for what you can give them. I hope this advice is a little better than my previous advice. It doesnt hurt to knock a mother f**ker out on occasion though. Hang in there man.


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OfflineZEPH
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Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1412815 - 03/26/03 11:18 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

i have had.........suprissingly.. Alot of the same symtoms as you....when i smoked weed id get really paranoid..like the whole croud of people was like mocking me all the time..this wasnt really the case but to me it seemed that way and I to was quiet and had really low self esteem . the deeper and deeper i got into the drug sceen the worst it got..the more i wanted to get fucked up all the time.. and hated myself more and more knowing after everytime i dose its just fuckin me up more but doin it anyway to escape..i really think i was manic depressive at that point in my life..i was So So depressised i asked my sister one day for something anything ..wich i never have before ..anxioty disorders run in my familly ...shes way worse than i but she gave me a shit load of pakets she got from her doctor called serzone and told me do em exactlly as it says(they didnt help her at all) shes on paxil right now also but she thinks its working pretty good )anyway.. so i did and about 2 weeks into it, my depression slowly was leaving it was so awsome i quit somoking pot..and did every last pill i had 2 times a day for almost 3 months and to this day i never ever been remotlly as depressed as then..that was like about 3 yrs ago maby 4 ..i swear up and down about serzone..as far as an anxioty dissorder.......to me and the way you describe it it sounds exactlly like depression that i once had it was eirie reading it...but if I could give you any addvice that youd take let it be ...pick up a guitar bass! preferbly...
i really wish you luck and remeber as you get older shit changes and you get wiser friends come and go but once you find reall ones thell stay


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Anonymous #1

Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1414017 - 03/27/03 11:21 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

n/a


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OfflineMickel
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Registered: 02/25/03
Posts: 242
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1424911 - 04/03/03 01:31 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

hello :confused:


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Anonymous #1

Re: I need some serious help [Re: Mickel]
    #1424940 - 04/03/03 01:44 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

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OfflinePedM
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Re: I need some serious help [Re: Meat_Log_Smurf]
    #1428849 - 04/04/03 02:57 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

>>> tell them to STFU and punch them in the nuts. Thats the best way to earn respect.

Responding to suffering by creating more suffering and projecting it on to others allows for a very unstable form of happiness that isn't really happiness at all. It does not build confidence, but it will seed a nagging sense of guilt.


Mickel,

I've replied to three threads in this forum today where the first solution offered to the poster was "take some pills." So forgive me if I sound impatient when I say: Stay off the God damn pills.

First, Paxil (of all things) is not a cure, it is a bandaid. The longer you take Paxil or any other SSRI, the more dominant it's side effects become, and the less dominant the desired effects will be. Most doctors respond to this by increasing the dosage. Of course, that only makes things worse. You cannot take SSRI's forever; the day will come when you'll have to stop taking your prescription. After you finally get through the debilitating withdrawal, your anxiety/depression will remanifest, most likely much worse than prior.

The first thing you should understand is that you do not have Social Anxiety Disorder. Rather, you have a problem with anxiety in social situations. "Social Anxiety Disorder" is a blanket term coined by our friends at Lilly and Pfizer to create a reason to sell drugs to large portions of the population. Almost everyone can relate to the symptoms you are describing at some point in their lives. It's normal, it's conquerable.

You must recognize that your friends are in very much the same boat you are. Feeling insecure, anxious about what people think of them, anxious about being misunderstood. The fact that they cope with this by making you feel as bad as possible is a failing on their part, not yours. In fact, by resisting the idea of punching someone in the face, you've shown yourself at a particular advantage. By refraining from verbal and physical assaults, you're much more likely to overcome your problem with a degree of finality than your friends are. Understanding this is the first step to shedding your anxiety.

As for moving past the anxiety you feel in social situations, I can't offer any specific advice because I suffer from the same difficulty. All I can tell you is not to feel bad about yourself, simply because: you have no reason to. Your grades do not reflect on your worth, prom dates do not reflect on your worth, your job, your college, your personal interests, none of these things reflect on your worth. What gauges your value is the faith you have in yourself to accomplish your own goals, and your ablity to avoid knowingly hurting others.

Good luck with everything.


--------------------


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Re: I need some serious help [Re: matts]
    #1429176 - 04/04/03 05:14 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Um...I'm trained in developmental and clinical psychology, and licensed as a clinical counselor. Psychologists and counselors (and social workers, marriage and family therapists, pastoral counselors, psychiatric nurses and other non-medical practitioners) ALL have to rely upon psychiatrists if we think that psychoactive medication is in order, because WE do not have DEA licenses to dispense medications. Some psychiatrists do not do psychotherapy, they merely presrcibe meds. others do both. Some are psychoanalysts or analytical psychologists (Freudians and Jungians), so your prejudice is just what it is - prejudice - and everyone knows what prejudice is based on.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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