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Anonymous #1

I Feel So Utterly Stupid
    #14071727 - 03/05/11 04:37 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Shroomery, I just keep fucking up again and again. My ex-girlfriend and I are on exceedingly strange terms, and I’m just at a total loss of what to do. I’ve such mixed emotions regarding her, ranging from total hate and distrust to being absolutely in-love with her. I try my best to forget her, I really do, but I ultimately don’t want to, nor does she let me. She’s infiltrated her way into every aspect of my life and I’m not sure of what to make of it. At times I’m sure she’s doing it just to tease me, then at other times (like yesterday), she can be rather up-front thus completely throwing me off. Bipolar? Yup. I feel she’s just as obsessed with me as I am with her, but whether her obsession is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ is a mystery to me. Despite it all, I still probably love her and don’t want to be angry at her. It’s a difficult situation for me. I’d like nothing more than to tell her. I’d like to accept her for who she is, despite anything/everything, and compromise; I’ve no interest in ‘changing her’. I don’t have a good history of sharing such things with her, as it could potentially just inflate the living shit out of her ego and who knows. Though I really can’t help how I feel, and the thought of finding some other girl depresses the living shit out of me. [I am a Special Case.] I mean, I’m sure I can easily do it, I just don’t, I go into introspective recluse mode(nothing new). Should I go find one anyways? Will it make me happy? Is she a lost cause? I fucking hope not:(

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Anonymous #2

Re: I Feel So Utterly Stupid [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14082770 - 03/07/11 06:18 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Well if she's aware of how you feel it's no longer your decision is it. Any further rhetorical effort will just be a redundancy, why bother. I think if she feels the same she'll show it sooner or later. It's just a matter of how long you're willing to wait because it really sounds like you need to get with her or get over her. I know you'd prefer the former, but believe me, it may not be worth it. And yeah... Of course a different girl could potentially make you 'happy'... You're fucking retarded for asking that...Think of finding one! Don't like bars? Nor do I. Just think of something to lure teh wimminz out with...Simply. I mean, consider the possibilities, then consider more intrololspection; which appeals?

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Anonymous #1

Re: I Feel So Utterly Stupid [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #14087462 - 03/08/11 03:53 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I think if she feels the same she'll show it sooner or later.





YUP, agreed. It sucks though because the last time she tried I inherently gave her the impression of being depressed and having anxiety by ignoring her. It was just a terrible day. I did crappy on a super easy exam, locked myself out of my apartment, landlord doesn't answer phone, had a few people stare at me (schizophrenia.. thanksEX)while walking to the depressing library in the rain (had nowhere else to go); oh and there she is, the source of 90% of my frustration. I was sad and angry and couldn't even bring myself to verify that it was in fact her; at that moment I hated her quite a bit. I mean, last I heard from her she was trolling me with text messages, fucking hell, no reason for that. Afterwards, of course, I felt horrible because I realized her intentions and began to self loath. I fixed it with a hot shower and some trees though, hoha:) I'm not really depressed and the anxiety is typically confined to when I'm high; she wouldn't know though.

I actually probably pissed her off quite a lot though, seeing it was basically rejection. But then I got all dressed up once too, and payed her a visit (with some changa!!), only to meet a wall of "NO's" and it fucking sucked. I got a sympathetic VM afterwards, which was strange, because I wasn't looking for sympathy! It was still a nice gesture though. I would have returned the favor, but really, what the hell to say over the phone? 'UH that wasn't you, was it'? lolz. Talking over the phone isn't half as good as in person. And I'm pretty positive she feels the same.

I'm rambling. But my point is, is that no one here is to blame, and holding grudges obviously isn't going to help. And now she's on my mind again, fuck.

Quote:

Any further rhetorical effort will just be a redundancy, why bother.




Well I happen to be stubborn and want my first choice; she is my first choice, and now I know she likes me, that's why I bother. It'd just be a huge relief to know that we could(couldn't) work so I could move on care-free and not have to think about her. I just need the opportunity again. I know she'd prefer to visit me rather than I visit her, but it may not come to that! Or would a phone call really accomplish something?! I don't happen to think so

Quote:

It's just a matter of how long you're willing to wait because it really sounds like you need to get with her or get over her. I know you'd prefer the former, but believe me, it may not be worth it.




I disagree. It would be worth it. And you're right, waiting sucks and so does intrololspection, haha. Which is why action has to be more imminent than not. What should my next course of action be?


THANKS for the post/advice #2, please keep it coming!! Anon<3

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Anonymous #2

Re: I Feel So Utterly Stupid [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14099091 - 03/10/11 04:50 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
What should my next course of action be?





Uhhh you're not in a good position here buddy. You don't admit these these emotions to someone unless you're **sure** that they feel the same way. Otherwise, almost definitely, they'll take you for granite because why not, you're obsessed with them anyways; you'll always be there. I suggest you fuck off for a bit and let nature take it's course. Sure you could go 'visit' her again, and it may actually be worthwhile, but you'd really only succeed in proving to her that you're indeed obsessed. Is that what you want? I'm sorry but you seem really inexperienced... If she's the source of 90% of your frustration you may want to consider finding someone else, even if they're not your "first" choice. WTF does that even mean anyways? I suppose you could think of it as being the lot less 'frustrating' choice. There's a lot of fish in the sea man, and there's not enough time to waste all your thoughts over one**.

Besides, if she does feel the same, as I've said in my previous post, she's show it sooner or later. You said she's already visited once, didn't you? Well trust me, if she likes you, she'll come again. In the mean time, focus your attention elsewhere, mmmk? 

I think you also posted this in the wrong sub-forum which is why it's not getting any attention. You could perhaps ask a mod to move it? That is, if you still feel the topic's relevant.

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Anonymous #1

Re: I Feel So Utterly Stupid [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #14099194 - 03/10/11 05:03 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
That is, if you still feel the topic's relevant.




Oh no. I see the logic in your advice and I'll reluctantly take it. It's just I get all emotional sometimes man, I don't know.
I saw something in her that I really liked and thought I could trust her. It's really shitty to know how completely wrong I was. But whatever. Live and learn, right?

Thanks Shroomery. Let's let the thread die now.

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Offlineshroom-jitsu
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Re: I Feel So Utterly Stupid [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14120000 - 03/14/11 03:41 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Distance, time and retrospect.

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