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Offlinehuliganjetta
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Registered: 04/23/09
Posts: 29
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Depression, depression, depression...
    #14082617 - 03/07/11 05:58 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I'm going to try and sum all of this up as much as I can...basically, I've suffered from depression/social anxiety for as long as I can remember. I first noticed it in Elementary school, and it got bad in Intermediate. In my freshman year, I started smoking pot. I only did it a few times per month, but it completely destroyed my suicidal thoughts. In sophomore year, I began smoking everyday, and the depression slowly creeped its way back up. In Junior and Senior year, I made my cannabis intake very scarce. I've been seeing a therapist for 3 years now, who does slightly help, but just not enough. It should be mentioned that I am completely against the idea of taking any medications. I've experimented with 5-HTP, L-Tryptophan, and St. John's Wort on separate occasions, all for long periods of time. None of them seemed to help. It's at an all time low right now...I can't concentrate on anything, I've lost many friends due to my social anxiety, and I think about death more than I should.

tl;dr

I'm clinically depressed, have major social anxiety issues, am against medication, and marijuana just doesn't help anymore.

I've recently been practicing "Energized Mediation" but still can't get a good grasp on it.

Does anybody have any recommendations?
I'm open to just about anything at this point, as long as it doesn't involve prescription medication.

It should be noted that the only other drug I've done are mushrooms, on multiple occasions. They helped greatly after taking them each time, but it's been over a year since my last time, and I'm scared to take them in this state of mind.


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OfflineCascadian
Feel like a Stranger
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Registered: 09/13/08
Posts: 1,130
Loc: Cascadia
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: huliganjetta]
    #14082668 - 03/07/11 06:05 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Start exercising.  Take an interest in bettering yourself.  If its hard at first, understand that it gets immensely easier ever after the first week or two.  Go for jogs.  Go real slow - maybe a 10-12 minute mile your first time.  Do the same 3-4 times a week.  Add a 1/4 mile every week.

Change your work/school situation.  If you arent working at or studying something that interests you, look around for something different to do. 

If you are unemployed/going to school less than half time, get a job.  Even if it isnt your dream job, having a source of income is something to be proud of.  Something outside - landscaping, nursery work, trailbuilding, etc. can often be very rewarding.  You can get your exercise and paycheck at the same time.

Find something to live for other than drugs or electronic entertainment.  Dive right into it.


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Invisibleninja cat 09
A paranoid android
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Registered: 10/11/09
Posts: 4,170
Loc: Mexico Flag
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: Cascadian]
    #14082896 - 03/07/11 06:37 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Cascadian said:
Start exercising.  Take an interest in bettering yourself.  If its hard at first, understand that it gets immensely easier ever after the first week or two.  Go for jogs.  Go real slow - maybe a 10-12 minute mile your first time.  Do the same 3-4 times a week.  Add a 1/4 mile every week.

Change your work/school situation.  If you arent working at or studying something that interests you, look around for something different to do. 

If you are unemployed/going to school less than half time, get a job.  Even if it isnt your dream job, having a source of income is something to be proud of.  Something outside - landscaping, nursery work, trailbuilding, etc. can often be very rewarding.  You can get your exercise and paycheck at the same time.

Find something to live for other than drugs or electronic entertainment.  Dive right into it.



:awesomenod::thumbup:

Check out the couch to 5k program, It eases you into running regularly, great for beginners (like me :p), also, remember to stretch.


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             :crazykitty:


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Offlinehuliganjetta
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Registered: 04/23/09
Posts: 29
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: huliganjetta]
    #14083461 - 03/07/11 08:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Ahh I should of mentioned, I do exercise daily... and run pretty frequently, maybe even doing a 5k this month.
I actually have been thinking of doing nursery work though. Because of this depression, everything that I used to want to do in life just doesn't sound appealing anymore. It might be because I'm sick of the whole consumerist lifestyle though. Thanks for the tips though guys!


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OfflineAlphaFalfa
imagine


Registered: 06/16/08
Posts: 3,857
Loc: 3 Seconds Ago. Flag
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: huliganjetta]
    #14083834 - 03/07/11 09:31 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

My suggestion is to recognize that you don't have to be social. It isn't the purpose to life.

Another thing to recognize is that you have change your environment, not just your activities in your environment.

Have you ever tried to look into what it is? Is it really social anxiety?

Do you care a lot about what other people feel?

If so, do you know that god doesn't exist and that there is no hell?

I would personally suggest to re-hash what your spiritual beliefs are.

Also, get away from your current environment.

Travel, for example.

If your on a tight budget, use www.WWOOF.ORG.

Its a site that connects you to organic farmers around the world that give you a place to stay, give you food, rides to places, show you around.

Its a great way to meet people as well.


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if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...



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InvisibleChampion des Champignons
long standing member;)

Registered: 07/26/00
Posts: 2,680
Loc: Alba
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: AlphaFalfa]
    #14084068 - 03/07/11 10:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)



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---------------------------------------------------
hmmm........


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Offlinelifeinallday
OVA<


Registered: 03/28/09
Posts: 883
Loc: fucked in time
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: Champion des Champignons]
    #14084187 - 03/07/11 10:42 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I hear you bud, your not alone, this is actually quite common. Is all i would say is do activities to satisfy yourself and dont expect approval from others. only your personal opinion about yourself is what matters, work on focusing on how amazing you are (love yourself), think about the things you have accomplished and be proud (small as they may be), know life tends to change rapidly over time so dont give up now its just one chapter, and dont think about "what if's" future or past thoughts about anything (unless positive), and try not to make it a goal to be happy.. acceptance is whats key. even if you have nothing going for you in others eyes it really doesnt matter only your opinion about yourself does. and most importantly even if things are not going good, say to yourself "its ok, yes i feel like shit, but i accept that because others opinions about me dont matter. ACCEPT YOUR DEPRESSION. good luck man and dont give up, simply pushing through whatever the outcome makes you a warrior.


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"In a revolving universe those who stand still move backward"- I forget


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OfflineCherk
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Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
Loc: International Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: huliganjetta]
    #14084406 - 03/07/11 11:42 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

start reading literature by people who kicked death in the nuts


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I have considered such matters.

SIKE


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Offlineseylm
still breathing
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Registered: 04/22/10
Posts: 463
Loc: Canada Flag
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: huliganjetta]
    #14086211 - 03/08/11 11:43 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

lifeinallday said:
ACCEPT YOUR DEPRESSION. good luck man and dont give up, simply pushing through whatever the outcome makes you a warrior.



Acceptance is key, stop trying to eliminate anxiety and just let it run its course. It's hard to get out of the habit of fighting it but very rewarding.


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Easiest and Stealthiest Way to Grow Psilocybin
:awebig: :awetrippie: :raveface: :awecid: :etbig:
"you may be wearing an Armani suit, but it's just pyjamas" - Mooji


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InvisibleStonehenge
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Registered: 06/20/04
Posts: 14,850
Loc: S.E.
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: seylm]
    #14086547 - 03/08/11 12:56 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

All that psychology plus a dollar will get you a can of soda. You want to get over it? Take something good. OTC remedies that work are st johns or salvia d. Swallow the st j and smoke the salvia if the st j doesn't work well enough. Then come back and tell us.


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“A democracy cannot exist as a permanent form of government. It can only exist until the voters discover that they can vote themselves largesse from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates promising the most benefits from the public treasury with the result that a democracy always collapses over loose fiscal policy, always followed by a dictatorship.” (attributed to Alexis de Tocqueville political philosopher Circa 1835)

Trade list http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/18047755


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OfflineCherk
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Registered: 10/25/02
Posts: 46,493
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Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: Stonehenge]
    #14087286 - 03/08/11 03:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

huliganjetta said:
I've experimented with 5-HTP, L-Tryptophan, and St. John's Wort on separate occasions, all for long periods of time. None of them seemed to help. It's at an all time low right now...I can't concentrate on anything, I've lost many friends due to my social anxiety, and I think about death more than I should.







Quote:

Stonehenge said:
All that psychology plus a dollar will get you a can of soda. You want to get over it? Take something good. OTC remedies that work are st johns or salvia d. Swallow the st j and smoke the salvia if the st j doesn't work well enough. Then come back and tell us.




--------------------
I have considered such matters.

SIKE


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Offlinehuliganjetta
Strange
Male

Registered: 04/23/09
Posts: 29
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: AlphaFalfa]
    #14088856 - 03/08/11 08:26 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I really appreciate all of the suggestions, everyone! As for my spiritual beliefs, I was raised Jewish, but don't believe in a God as of now, or any form of organized religion. Though I really do like Discordianism.

That site is exactly what I was looking for, thank you much for that, AlphaFalfa. I've always been extremely self conscious, about everything. The thing is, I convince myself that caring what other people think should be the least of my worries, but whenever I'm in any social situation, I don't function well. Hopefully this is something I could change with my meditation though...

And to everyone else, thanks again! I'm doing all I can to get by.


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Offlinetimelapses
Life in free form
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Registered: 01/26/11
Posts: 4,600
Loc: in a shroomery prison
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Depression, depression, depression... [Re: Champion des Champignons]
    #14090575 - 03/09/11 01:20 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Champion des Champignons said:




Like the picture/quote.

Good suggestions all around but I wouldn't personally reject pharms out of hand.  Klonopin works for me and maybe it's just because it makes the intensity of the social situations and anxiety much less as well as the depression.  Everything and everyone doesn't seem so important. But after trying so many other methods I'm sticking with the benzos in addition to exercise/walking.
Best of luck dealing with your depression.  It's a continual process man, continual.


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