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NastyDHL



Registered: 04/04/08
Posts: 3,586
Loc: New England
Last seen: 1 year, 13 days
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In the way of love
#14077619 - 03/06/11 08:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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What exactly gets in the way of one treating others with love?
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: In the way of love [Re: NastyDHL]
#14077653 - 03/06/11 08:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Fear basically.
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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NastyDHL



Registered: 04/04/08
Posts: 3,586
Loc: New England
Last seen: 1 year, 13 days
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Re: In the way of love [Re: Poid]
#14077676 - 03/06/11 08:18 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Poid said: Fear basically. 
How does one not allow fear to control/influence the way they treat others?
Do we have control over it?
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deranger

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 6,840
Loc: off the wall
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Re: In the way of love [Re: NastyDHL]
#14077686 - 03/06/11 08:19 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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generations of bad habits.
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: In the way of love [Re: NastyDHL]
#14077697 - 03/06/11 08:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I think fear is an excellent motivator, and generally has more control over us than we do of it; there may be several ways to not allow fear to control/influence the way we treat others, one of them being to get rid of the fear. Getting rid of fears can be easy or hard, it can take a long or short time, there's no instant cure-all for fear.
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
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Re: In the way of love [Re: Poid]
#14077809 - 03/06/11 08:37 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I treat others literally as myself IRL. I don't even have to think about it. I don't judge, only question their ideas when they're just outright stupid, and offer tips to improve ways in which I believe they are thinking. I take it easy, I'm no crusader. Most of the time - really, most - I'm alone (and happy). I'm not perfect though, sometimes I just start being stupid and let myself go.
I don't actually know how to spread that divine energy inside me yet. I'm experimenting, learning. It seems happiness is contagious. So maybe it happens and I don't even realise...
But I aspire to be a person people will see or meet and think, "wow, there is something great going on here, maybe I should inquire about myself and my potentialities". But then I think there's probably tons of original and interesting people out there, I just seem to dodge them.
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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deranger

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 6,840
Loc: off the wall
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Re: In the way of love [Re: circastes]
#14077850 - 03/06/11 08:43 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
I treat others literally as myself IRL. I don't even have to think about it. I don't judge, only question their ideas when they're just outright stupid, and offer tips to improve ways in which I believe they are thinking.
IMO this is in the same boat as judgment..
nobody wants you telling them how to think (or tips, same deal), it's an invasion.
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deff
just love everyone



Registered: 05/01/04
Posts: 9,406
Loc: clarity
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Re: In the way of love [Re: NastyDHL]
#14077851 - 03/06/11 08:43 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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self-desires i think
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giza


Registered: 08/25/09
Posts: 2,089
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Re: In the way of love [Re: deff]
#14078003 - 03/06/11 09:06 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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insecurities..
We do have control over our fear for we are the ones that created it in ourselves, IMO.
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Kickle
Wanderer


Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,856
Last seen: 1 hour, 13 minutes
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Re: In the way of love [Re: NastyDHL]
#14078045 - 03/06/11 09:11 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
NastyDHL said: What exactly gets in the way of one treating others with love?
I dunno man. There are a lot of questions about what love is for me. Many people define it in a way that is personally fulfilling to them and that throws an altruistic love right out the window.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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Cups
technically "here"


Registered: 12/24/09
Posts: 1,925
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Re: In the way of love [Re: Kickle]
#14078138 - 03/06/11 09:25 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Do you know what it is like to tell someone you love them...knowing you're only doing it to hear it back.
It's like any other transaction.
Not saying it's always like that for me. Just that I say "I love you" less than I used to.
-------------------- What's up everybody?!
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: In the way of love [Re: giza] 1
#14078213 - 03/06/11 09:38 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
giza said: We do have control over our fear for we are the ones that created it in ourselves, IMO.
What if I created an uncontrollable human-murdering robot?
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
Posts: 8,781
Loc: straya
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
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Re: In the way of love [Re: deranger]
#14078555 - 03/06/11 10:36 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
deranger said:
Quote:
I treat others literally as myself IRL. I don't even have to think about it. I don't judge, only question their ideas when they're just outright stupid, and offer tips to improve ways in which I believe they are thinking.
IMO this is in the same boat as judgment..
nobody wants you telling them how to think (or tips, same deal), it's an invasion.
Some of these people though...
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: In the way of love [Re: circastes]
#14078621 - 03/06/11 10:47 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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deranger

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 6,840
Loc: off the wall
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Re: In the way of love [Re: circastes]
#14078675 - 03/06/11 10:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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one of my bros is outright stupid at times (as am I), though I don't point it out. it would would have a negative impact on the relationship.
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giza


Registered: 08/25/09
Posts: 2,089
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Re: In the way of love [Re: Poid]
#14078688 - 03/06/11 10:57 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Poid said:
Quote:
giza said: We do have control over our fear for we are the ones that created it in ourselves, IMO.
What if I created an uncontrollable human-murdering robot? 
Well, why would you fear it? Death, pain?
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Poid
Shroomery's #1 Spellir




Registered: 02/04/08
Posts: 40,372
Loc: SF Bay Area
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Re: In the way of love [Re: giza]
#14078698 - 03/06/11 10:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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My point is that just because we created something, doesn't mean we can control it; your justification for believing that we have control over our fear was "we are the ones that created it", and I'm rebutting that point.
-------------------- Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. -- Bob Dylan  fireworks_god said:It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.
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Kickle
Wanderer



Registered: 12/16/06
Posts: 17,856
Last seen: 1 hour, 13 minutes
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Re: In the way of love [Re: Cups]
#14078803 - 03/06/11 11:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cups said: Do you know what it is like to tell someone you love them...knowing you're only doing it to hear it back.
It's like any other transaction.
Not saying it's always like that for me. Just that I say "I love you" less than I used to.
Sure do. I also know what it's like to have someone tell you they love you, and know they are only saying it to hear it back.
-------------------- Why shouldn't the truth be stranger than fiction? Fiction, after all, has to make sense. -- Mark Twain
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giza


Registered: 08/25/09
Posts: 2,089
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Re: In the way of love [Re: giza]
#14078808 - 03/06/11 11:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I don't understand, how do we not have control over our fear? You are the one that started the fear.
Edited by giza (03/06/11 11:26 PM)
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giza


Registered: 08/25/09
Posts: 2,089
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Re: In the way of love [Re: giza]
#14078821 - 03/06/11 11:27 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I said we created it in ourselves, not that we created something to fear.
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