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OfflineTheTreesHaveEyes
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Feels wierd man...
    #14075673 - 03/06/11 01:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I tripped hard on 20mg of 2c-e yesterday. It was a mostly good trip with a really bad episode (about an hour or so).

I was tripping with a few good friends, and the first 2 hours were amazing.

Then we went to hang out with some people that my friends knew and everything took a terrible turn.

Now up until this point everything was great, I felt ecstatic and was tripping hard.  Then everything took a terrible turn.  I ended up experiencing some wierd form of ego death that I only experienced one other time on acid.


Basically we went back this apartment with these people I didn't know.  As soon as we walked in I noticed that there were "bro" type people everywhere, though they seemed to like drugs they weren't the type of people I normally chill with.  We walked in and my friends sat on a couch, leaving nowhere for me to sit.  I stood there for a second trying to figure out where to sit and ended up sitting on an uncomfortable stool.  I couldn't really see the TV which everyone was watching, so that was kind of wierd.  Not to mention I had no idea what to say to any of these people. 

Then this one girl got up and seemed to have left... so I sat there wondering if I should take her seat or not, so I could see the TV.  There was another girl sitting there and I didn't want it to seem like I was displacing her friend to try to hit on her or anything (once I started getting anxious thoughts at the beginning it carried into thoughts like this).

After a while I finally decided to sit down and right when I did this girl walked back in, and I felt like I had fucked up everyone's seating situation.  So I sat back on my stool.  This added to my anxiety.  Not to mention I felt obligated to speak but I had nothing at all to say.  I basically locked up socially.


Meanwhile I had been chewing this intense rainbow gum... too intense.  I had to spit it out and was really cottonmouthed and felt sick.  This lasted the whole time. I had to try really hard to keep myself from throwing up. I also was very self consciuos and anxious and had no idea how to act around all these strangers.

So I ended up feeling kind of like I was dying, I was worried I was dehydrated, along with being very anti-social and self conscious.  I basically froze up, I couldn't even respond when people were talking to me...there was just too much going on around me and I couldn't even handle conversation.  It was very wierd not knowing all these people there and being in such a hectic environment, where everyone was being loud and obnoxious.


At this point something odd happened.  I kind of when back inside myself, to where I stopped identifying my consciousness with my body, and while my body was just sitting there I was watching everything, like a movie.  I felt like my body was dying but I didn't care, I went into such a comfortable, beautiful place within myself where nothing was real but that place inside me.  We went out to smoke a cigarette and I was just looking around, not saying anything.  Then I noticed that this girl and this guy from the apartment were staring at me, and I didn't know what to do. I just nervously looked around and they laughed at me and I just said I was tripping really hard in explanation.


Then we left and I felt better again.  At first I couldn't even talk to my friends but eventually I went back to normal, and the rest of the night went great.  I started talking again and I sort of relearned how to interact with people, and everything seemed perfect again.

I have always been a self conscious person. I overcame it and can now interact fine with anyone when I am sober, but I had to revisit this huge fear of mine (acting nervous and strange around people, or people thinking I am wierd or anti social) while tripping and sort of resolve the problem again.


This same thing happened to me the first time I took acid, I was around people I didn't know very well and I felt super self conscious and shitty, and then over time I went through this kind of rebirth within myself, and where I enabled myself to interact socially with people again.


Does this sort of thing happen to any of you when you trip with strangers?  That is the only time this stuff happens to me, otherwise I never have bad trips.  I was seriously thinking about bolting out the door and just running away.


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OfflineShroomXolomilco
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Re: Feels wierd man... [Re: TheTreesHaveEyes]
    #14075727 - 03/06/11 01:49 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Dude, you need to learn how to have proper setting when you trip, just saying.  Unless you enjoy awkward social interaction.


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OfflineSorealism
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Re: Feels wierd man... [Re: TheTreesHaveEyes]
    #14075741 - 03/06/11 01:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I can relate. 2C-E imo isn't a very sociable drug. From personal experiences and others' accounts it is more the type of compound which you want to be alone or just with a couple very close friends.It's one hell of a drug! I have been in similar situations where all the "non-tripping" people all just seem to be staring and thinking whats wrong with this person, and one being on any psyche imo just exacerbates all of these paranoid, anxious emotions. Thus it can be easy to fall into this "mindspace" where you feel awkward and out-of-place where things quickly go awry. This is why set and setting are all so critical to "feeling good man" on any pysche. Least you got outta there and got on with your trip!


--------------------


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OfflineTheTreesHaveEyes
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Re: Feels wierd man... [Re: Sorealism]
    #14075855 - 03/06/11 02:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Agreed.



The thing is I have tripped tons of times and only had 2 experiences like this (and both were overall good trips with a bad episode).


I meditated for 2 hours before I tripped to make sure I had the right mindset and to be prepared to learn (which I did learn a lot about myself and people in general).


I was supposed to just be tripping with the few friends I knew well, and then we unexpectedly came across some people they knew and before I knew it I was in their apartment.  I didn't really have anywhere else to go but to follow them.



Needless to say next time I'm in this situation I'm dipping outside to sit alone for a while.


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OfflineAzure Essence
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Registered: 10/03/10
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Re: Feels wierd man... [Re: TheTreesHaveEyes]
    #14076249 - 03/06/11 03:56 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Bullshit, you didnt have to go. I swear this is the only reason people have bad episodes, they put themselves into stupid situations for some reason. Just sit alone in the dark, people are too obsessed with going out and doing shit when they trip, they cant just BE.

BE HERE NOW


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OfflineTheTreesHaveEyes
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Re: Feels wierd man... [Re: Azure Essence]
    #14076279 - 03/06/11 04:03 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Eh, I didn't really have much of a choice.


I got the 2ce from my friend at his apartment.  Our plan was to take it and chill in his room.  Then we walked around because his apartments are in what used to be an old mill and it's a pretty cool looking place.  Then we met his friends by chance walking around and they invited us into their room, which was almost literally right next to us.

There was no way I would have been able to find my way around that mill on my own if I had decided to leave them.



Either way, I agree with you.  I was actually planning on solo tripping (because that's my favorite way to trip), but my friends really wanted me to trip with them so I did, thinking it would still just be chilling with them in a room or outdoors the whole time.  It all happened very quickly, I was kind of in my own little world the whole time (as I tend to do when I trip). 



Also, Be Here Now is probably my biggest motto.  It's a great book as well. :thumbup:  Unfortunately my brain doesn't always work as clearly when I am tripping as it does when I am sober.


Edited by TheTreesHaveEyes (03/06/11 04:04 PM)


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OfflineNlightN
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Re: Feels wierd man... [Re: TheTreesHaveEyes]
    #14076341 - 03/06/11 04:19 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I experienced this when I tripped on acid with kids I hardly knew. It was like I couldn't even look in anyones direction, I was just locked up. It felt like I zoomed out and I was just watching the whole situation unfold as if I wasn't even there. When the group started questioning me I just told them i was tripping balls. The one kid said "Dude acid is for acting crazy and out of control man loosen up". This made things even worse because the responses I would give them were just as retarded as the questions they asked....but they couldnt percieve the pointlessness. After i while I got the sense that two of the four kids were making fun of me. "Dude is he seeing shit? like wtf?". It felt like middle school all over again.....it seriously felt like they were trying to prove their dominance. We walked down the road and they would lead the pack....they would run up steep snowbanks and wait for me to do the same like they were analyzing my abilities. I walked up the hill and I could hear them say "oh hes cool he didnt put any effort in that at all". It was funny to me because if I said anything at all they would all shut up and look at me.....i felt like an old man trying to fit in with a bunch of kids even tho im the same age as them.


The only time that I would say anything was when I had a breakthrough in thought or something that would blow their mind....because they obviously don't understand the point of psychedellics. "UHUH DUDE I TRIPPED HUNDREDS OF TIMES MY BRAIN IS FRIED AHURHURHUR!" yet he cant even understand the concept of an ego.


Edited by NlightN (03/06/11 04:29 PM)


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OfflineTheTreesHaveEyes
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Re: Feels wierd man... [Re: NlightN]
    #14076601 - 03/06/11 05:09 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

That is exactly how I felt man.  Like an old person hanging out with kids.  Like I was in middle school again, that was a spot on description. It's like everyone expected something of me... some kind of special response to their meaningless questions or some kind of addition to the pointless conversation, it was just strange. I felt like I was the only one who realized the pointlessness of it all...


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OfflineNlightN
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Re: Feels wierd man... [Re: TheTreesHaveEyes]
    #14076748 - 03/06/11 05:34 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

idk if this will make sense but this is how i thought of it during the trip. it felt like i was resonating at a different frequency than the group. they were connected mentally but i was alienated for some reason.

what freaked me out was realizing that they were percieving the same thing but from a different perspective. i heard them commenting on the way i was walking. they said i looked like an old man. i was thinking the same thing when they said that. so they must have felt like little kids. Which is why they were rambling on about stupid shit while im sitting there in silence like an old head.


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