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Anonymous #1
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Did she cheat on me?
#14069973 - 03/05/11 08:36 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I was dating this girl, after one week she had to go away to a place for two weeks.
When she has been to that place for one week we go to a party, where there was a guy from the same place.
I talked to the guy, he seemed to be a jerk, also only having one purpose for being there, to have nail some girl.
Anyway party is over, she spends the night with me, and next day goes back to the place, we agree that I will come and visit her some time during this week.
So she goes back and then she doesn't pick up her phone nor calls back nor answers sms for 2 days.
On the third day she answers and I hear the dude I was talking to at the party screaming something to her phone, I understood only two words, her name and sex.
I did't react at it immediately as I should have, I asked why she did't answer and she said she had no time and then I said to her I am coming over. She started to tell me that it is far and she don't wants me to waste my time and money to drive there and back.
I said it was no problem I'll come anyway, but she kept inciting.
At this point I got frustrated and I just wanted to dump here, but to test it a bit I got pushy, and really insisted on coming, and she just kept inventing reasons for me not to. It started of with "I am thinking of you" then went to "You can't sleep over anyway it's a waste" then "I don't have time" then "Its forbidden for others to spend time here" at which point I thought fuck it, it's obvious that she doesn't want me there, and the only reason I can think of is that she is hiding something.
So to do a final test to see if she is hiding something I asked her to give me the number to the guy I talked to at the party, I had nothing to say to him as such, but I just wanted to test her, if she had nothing to hide there would be no problem for me to talk to him. But she refused straight out. This confirmed it in my eyes.
This radically changed the way I feel and I just thought fuck it all the next couple of days, even though we had things planned together. And she noticed it and hinted couple of times that nothing happened, that she spent all this time with her girl friend, and barely saw that guy over there.
So I have cut her off, I can't act towards her as I did before, I don't trust her and don't believe when she says that she misses me and don't want to loose me. She writes and calls sometimes, but I just can't act the same towards her as long as I have suspicions.
The problem is that she is really nice girl, and we had great time together, and it kills me to have dumped her, because what if nothing did happened and I am just overreacting...
I know that some of you will say just talk to her, but how can I trust her when she says nothing happened, besides she kind of did that, and I don't know if it is true.
Anyway, torment. Just wanted to get if of my chest, because it's really hard to break up with someone you really like based solely on suspicion and guesses, never knowing if you did the right thing.
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damnyoumongorians
Kingdingdong



Registered: 11/05/10
Posts: 340
Loc: fuck outta here!
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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sorry to break it to ya but it sounds like she did...i would still confront her about it one last time face to face, and pay close attention to her expressions and her reactions
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Anonymous #1
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Thanks man, it actually helps to see people drawing the same conclusion.
The feelings for her will get over eventually, that's no problem, not the first break up, not the last, I just was tormented over if I overreacted.
Spent many sleepless nights thinking it all over, but no matter how positively I spin it in my mind, the outcome is still bad.
About confronting her, meh, fuck it, we are gliding apart anyway now when I don't give a fuck anymore... If she want's to talk about it, I'll tell her as it is...
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broken
455 member(s)



Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
Loc: fuckyeah!
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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you were dating for a week. she's crazy. let it go brother. a chick you fucked a few times fucked someone else. forgetaboutit!
PS-This is her
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Edited by broken (03/05/11 09:22 AM)
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: broken]
#14070071 - 03/05/11 09:24 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Agreed.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: Doc_T]
#14070209 - 03/05/11 10:17 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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You guys, like butter on my burned soul! Feels so good to hear that it's not just me flipping out! Thank you! Now I can sleep at nights without second guessing it!

And hope non of you will end up in similar situation ever!
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broken
455 member(s)



Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
Loc: fuckyeah!
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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i've been cheated on, and we were dating WAY longer then a week. it's like a hot poker in your side. even after it's healed you have this massive scare to always remind you how heartless chicks can be.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: broken]
#14070277 - 03/05/11 10:36 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Oh man, sorry to hear that.
I find the comfort in the thought that it was one night stand gone wrong, lasting for a week.
But being in long relationship and be cheated on, that would suck so much, such shit can never be forgiven.
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I find the comfort in the thought that it was one night stand gone wrong, lasting for a week.
Your choices aren't limited to "one night" or "forever". I call this a successful week-long affair.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: Doc_T]
#14070342 - 03/05/11 10:53 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Yeah, that is what it was, we had great time together.
Just a shame that it ended that way, if she just would have told me as it is from the beginning I would probably remain friends with her.
I mean if a girl just want an affair, why do she need to pretend to want a relationship? Just say it as it is, no guy will deny it anyway.
But all that lying and going behind the back makes me sick and want to unload a truck of hurt on such people.
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broken
455 member(s)



Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
Loc: fuckyeah!
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
I mean if a girl just want an affair, why do she need to pretend to want a relationship? Just say it as it is, no guy will deny it anyway.
yeah man girls are freaks. i met this one girl online, had sex the first time we met, and then "dated" for 2 months. then one day she calls me and says she's moving in 2 months. i said: "that's fine, we have 2 more months of a great time" she said she didn't want to see me anymore, and it was really a prolonged one night stand, we were never really dating. i admitted our relationship was based of orgasms, and asked why she always wanted to go out and do stuff if we were not dating. she didn't really have an answer. it was just blah blah blah. chicks man...
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Joolz

Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: broken]
#14070725 - 03/05/11 12:30 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Regardless of if she cheated on you or not, if I ever had a girlfriend who lived a ways away and I insisted on coming to see her and she refused, I'd probably leave her anyway. It doesn't help that you heard that guy, or all the other suspicious shit, but the nail in the coffin to me is her being like "nono don't come here, don't waste your money."
People don't normally say that to their bf/gf unless they're doing some suspicious shit.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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Viveka
refutation bias


Registered: 10/21/02
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Yeah, you may have to question the viability of your one week relationship, lol. Is this the first time you've been done like this by a chick?
The only time it's happened to me in a semi-committed relationship was after about 5 months and it happened at my house and involved one of my closest friends at the time. They didn't even manage to do anything because I caught the fuckers but that one hit me hard. The moment I realized for certain what was happening I felt my perception warp like I was in a dream. Double betrayal! That shit gave me an ulcer for about a week, no joke. Couldn't sleep from the pain. But in retrospect it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I learned a lot from that episode.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: Viveka]
#14071700 - 03/05/11 04:31 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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I had a chick cheat on me with some ratty tour kid after we'd been together for 3 years. We lived together we did a lot together, we were perfect for eachother...........I thought. If it's one thing women can do right and are very good at, it's putting men into a delusional state of mind. I accepted her back after going out and getting revenge sex, and everything was alright if not better cause I KNEW we wanted to be together........
Then I found a note she wrote in her room one day ( she kept her stuff in one room slept in mine ) and it said " I wish ratty dead head tour fuck would call me " something along those lines.
Then a few weeks later I got a surprise on my carseat. Someone left a note all folded up, and it was dated 1.5 years bacK!!!!!!!!!! She had written it to a guy at work she was fucking, and it was talking about how she couldn't wait to leave me and be with him, and how he was the first guy she'd fucked since me in over a year.....
I lost my fucking mind getting fucked over once, and then find out she tricked me twice ( we had agreed to come clean about ALL lies ) She swore she hadn't been with anyone else, besides me over three years, and when I suspected her of fucking that guy a year and half back she lied and lied and lied and said she'd never touch him.
I lost it soooo fucking hard. I drove to his trailor, kicked his door in and smashed everything in his house with a pipe wrench. I beat the hell out of him with my hands, then made him give me his girlfriends number so I could call her up. I gave her a call and met her in a parking lot and gave her the note ( her and the cheesedick I just wrecked had been together around the same amount of time as me and my ex ).
I was around 20 at that point. I just let that kinda shit go now, but talk about a shitty break up.
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Viveka
refutation bias


Registered: 10/21/02
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: vandago]
#14071866 - 03/05/11 05:06 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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When you think back on it now, are you glad you roughed up the dude and his shit or would it have been better not to? For a few months I thought a lot about how much I should have at least decked the fucker in the face when I caught them but I was too hurt and bewildered at the time and he took off running as soon as I caught them.
That's so damn lame that a girl you have a great 3 year relationship with would throw it away over fucking some rat bastard. Sex can be problematic in so many ways. And the worst is how it's used a tool or a weapon to change the leverage in a relationship.
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p4kSouL
Animals Are Cool
Registered: 01/13/05
Posts: 3,666
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: vandago]
#14071877 - 03/05/11 05:08 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Anonymous. You should straight up confront her, tell her you think its weird you heard that guy in the background and that she keeps giving BS reasons about you coming over. Its not that hard tell her how you feel, tell her you feel like splitting up. If i heard some guy say sex in the background while i was talking to my girl, this deserves a good explanation. If you dont get that explanation, leave her. Demand justice!
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broken
455 member(s)



Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
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Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: Viveka]
#14071888 - 03/05/11 05:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Viveka said:
Sexchicks can be problematic in so many ways.
fixed.
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Anonymous #2
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At least OP didn't delude himself and give her the benefit of the doubt. I did that on one occasion, damn what a sucker move. Way to think with the right head
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broken
455 member(s)



Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
Loc: fuckyeah!
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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why do we trust chicks? they never earn the trust and always end up braking it.
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: broken]
#14075054 - 03/06/11 10:47 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
closed veil said: why do we trust chicks?
Evolution. Men trusting women means more babies.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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broken
455 member(s)



Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
Loc: fuckyeah!
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: Doc_T]
#14075122 - 03/06/11 11:08 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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evolution? it's gone too far. chicks brake trust, young men with crazy mom's eat shrooms and become gay.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: broken]
#14075808 - 03/06/11 02:11 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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It became a very interesting thread.
When it comes to confronting, well I will do it if it becomes appropriate, but right now we don't talk, and there are certainly nothing left which reassembles the relationship we once had, so it would just be strange if I started explaining it to her again.
I told her all this, without actually accusing her of cheating and without mentioning the guy in the phone, once, but I don't know if she understood, she just wanted to avoid conflict when I tried to talk to her about it, anyway, I tried, it's her problem now.
Though I was close to deluding myself, I gave her several chances to talk about it, explain herself, and make it all right, but she just acted as if everything was all right and avoided the talk, probably thinking I will just get over it and forget.
Why trust girls at all? Not doing it, will only force them to obey your rules, and hide things from you, find ways to avoid them. Letting a girl free to do whatever her conscious lets her, making her think everything is allowed, you will quickly find out where she draws the line, even within one week. 
Though it is always hurtful when someone you like turns out bad, but it is better to find that out as fast as possible, this is why I am not too sad about it, yes it was very painful when it happened, but what made me loose my nights sleep was that I was uncertain of how to interpret her actions, not that she acted like that or that I did't prevent it. But since I created this thread, I slept like a baby!
Edited by Anonymous (03/06/11 02:12 PM)
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jp411896
AsteroidsChampeen



Registered: 10/07/01
Posts: 212
Loc: No idea
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She was with you for a week? It seems a lot more likely she was cheating on him. Re-read your post once with that in mind. Chances are better, though, that she isn't trying to be exclusive with anybody and backed away when she realized monogamy was so important to you and you saw it as a relationship in less than one week. Nothing wrong with that and if it's what you need there's somebody out there for everybody but it doesn't sound like it was a good match this time.
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broken
455 member(s)



Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
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Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: jp411896]
#14152826 - 03/20/11 09:03 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
jp411896 said: She was with you for a week? It seems a lot more likely she was cheating on him. Re-read your post once with that in mind. Chances are better, though, that she isn't trying to be exclusive with anybody and backed away when she realized monogamy was so important to you and you saw it as a relationship in less than one week. Nothing wrong with that and if it's what you need there's somebody out there for everybody but it doesn't sound like it was a good match this time.
this....
and this.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Did she cheat on me? [Re: jp411896]
#14171160 - 03/23/11 04:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
jp411896 said: She was with you for a week? It seems a lot more likely she was cheating on him. Re-read your post once with that in mind. Chances are better, though, that she isn't trying to be exclusive with anybody and backed away when she realized monogamy was so important to you and you saw it as a relationship in less than one week. Nothing wrong with that and if it's what you need there's somebody out there for everybody but it doesn't sound like it was a good match this time.
No she did't cheat on that dude with me because she met him first time after we met. But there was a guy writing shit on her facebook page when we started going out, I figured it was ex boyfriend she broke up with recently, though I would not be suprised if he did't know it at the time.. 
And I agree with you as such, there is nothing wrong, one week, we just were learning to know each other, there is no commitment as such to speak of, and she might just have wanted some good time.
What made me upset was the whole fucking theater play she put up of being "good girl" e.t.c. I just hate fake people, and I really believed it, she was so good at it is still difficult to know what was true and what wasn't.
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