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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
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Visitation/Attacks * 1
    #14058476 - 03/03/11 05:31 AM (13 years, 2 days ago)

First off I want to start this thread by saying that I am a skeptic, and question and pull apart anything and everything.
One of my biggest personal philosophies is "Don't believe in anything, let experience be your teacher."  What use would it be to believe in wind if one has never felt it on their flesh?

Since I was a young boy, I have experienced spirits and other strange phenomenon. In my adolescent years, I experienced little of this and became a complete atheist.

In 2007 that all changed, much to my dismay. My whole paradigm and way of life collapsed because of it... And since then I have had to deal with what I call visitations and attacks.
I guess that I am lucky that I am so skeptical and overly analytical in my nature, otherwise I think I would have gone totally and irreversibly mad through this process.

But at the same time, this skepticism and doubt gets me into trouble with these visitations and attacks.
I am a fool. At times I am so skeptical that I fail to accept and deal with the situation at hand.

It is awful when I am attacked by these presences, spirits, energies, what ever the hell they are. Sometimes I am awoken from a dead sleep and this awful pain courses through my being, a part of my body I did not know I could feel pain in... surges, pulses and I can feel a definitive presence behind it. It makes my hair stand on end and the only thing I have to defend myself from it is a handful of prayers and my strong will.
I have lost girlfriends because of this, because they feel things around me that they would rather not acknowledge exists, that I, myself would rather not acknowledge exists....
I am currently lucky to have a girlfriend who loves me enough to stay with me despite the intense discomfort these things cause... It shook her world up quite a bit at first...
I love her so much...

But now, to the point.
The period between happenings and visitations and attacks is always enough for my skeptical and logical mind to totally pick apart the whys and whats of these happenings and I end up dismissing them with a logical explanation and tucking them away neatly, only to have it shattered by the raw experience of that otherworldliness...
Perhaps this is my human desire to weave a web of understanding where there is none, and comfort myself from this specific unknown that screams in my face. I typically don't do this. Perhaps it is because of the personal pain it has caused me through being ostracized, and experiencing what is taboo and often considered insane and crazy and it scaring and driving people away I have loved the most.
One of my ex's used to be athiest, now she truly thinks I am some reflection of what ever the devil may be, because of how frightening what she experienced around me was and the innate wisdom such experiences instill onto someone.
I want to hide from it... From the pain it has caused me, the terror.  But I cannot.

Am I a fool to not accept this metaphorical raven that keeps landing on my shoulder?
I feel my skepticism and doubt I use as tools to experience what is most true in it's rawness in this case has become denial. Preventing me from healing the wounds it has caused, accepting it with an open heart and mind and moving forward.
I think it's about time to...

Externalizing and analyzing this in the way I just did here has taken me a step forward in this process...
And I extend a thank you to anyone who has just read this.

I welcome any thoughts that may help me out here.


--------------------
To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.

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OfflineTeamAmerica
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: Raven Gnosis] * 1
    #14058649 - 03/03/11 07:43 AM (13 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
  What use would it be to believe in wind if one has never felt it on their flesh?






:yoda2:

I do not believe in wind Because I cannot see it...Yet it can tear down the foundations of my house and throw it aside...It is hard to see the wind, you can only feel it...You can only see what it moves but not the movement of the wind itself...

Imagine...being an ancient person and experiencing the wind...The wind is an amazing thing, And always will be especially to ones that do not project onto it what they think they know about it...

Indeed one of the ancient's elements was air/wind...That which is invisible but moves the material world...

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

Ive been waiting for a thread like this...the ancient understanding of spirits seems lost/totally misunderstood by modern minds... Even though there are certain fragments of it left...Like the fact that we call Alcohol 'Spirits' The mind being the world and the spirits being the wind that blows that world in different directions... All of these things are fragments of the ancient "Mysteries"

Edited by TeamAmerica (03/03/11 07:45 AM)

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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: TeamAmerica]
    #14060634 - 03/03/11 02:59 PM (13 years, 1 day ago)

Quote:

TeamAmerica said:
Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
  What use would it be to believe in wind if one has never felt it on their flesh?






:yoda2:

I do not believe in wind Because I cannot see it...Yet it can tear down the foundations of my house and throw it aside...It is hard to see the wind, you can only feel it...You can only see what it moves but not the movement of the wind itself...

Imagine...being an ancient person and experiencing the wind...The wind is an amazing thing, And always will be especially to ones that do not project onto it what they think they know about it...

Indeed one of the ancient's elements was air/wind...That which is invisible but moves the material world...

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

Ive been waiting for a thread like this...the ancient understanding of spirits seems lost/totally misunderstood by modern minds... Even though there are certain fragments of it left...Like the fact that we call Alcohol 'Spirits' The mind being the world and the spirits being the wind that blows that world in different directions... All of these things are fragments of the ancient "Mysteries"




To be honest, wind is still a mystery to me... Even with what I do know I'm still like "???"

I've spent so many days amongst the trees and have learned to "hear" the messages it carries. (Which are often in smells, temperatures, the kind of wind... The way it moves through the grass and trees says a lot.) My friends stand in awe as if I have some super natural power, knowing a storm is coming hours before it does, when really it's something visceral, which I feel is often the case with these ancient and primordial intuitions and understandings of things.

They are tuned in and not separate from their natural environment. It's so simple when one connects to these forces and spirits of nature, and experiences them and understands them viscerally as our ancestors did, why they were so revered and why our modern perception of their perception is deeply misunderstood.

Modern perception of it fringes on eco-fantasy, where in actuality, the understanding of it likely comes from a place far more visceral and grounded in this world...

Edited by Raven Gnosis (03/03/11 03:01 PM)

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OfflineLuSiD9
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: Raven Gnosis]
    #14060680 - 03/03/11 03:08 PM (13 years, 1 day ago)

are you paralyzed when these attacks/visitations happen?

if you are, I know what that's like


--------------------
Nothing is true, everything is permissible.

Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons.

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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: LuSiD9]
    #14060723 - 03/03/11 03:16 PM (13 years, 1 day ago)

No, actually...  And unfortunately I'm wide awake... It's horrible...

I actually used to get sleep paralysis when I was twelve. It was a side effect of an anti-depressant they had me on.
I would wake up and not be able to open my eyes nor move my body and would struggle to move. I was conscious enough to realize what was going on and would be trapped inside my paralyzed body...
I taught myself to make groaning noises while in it and told my brothers if they heard me doing it to shake me violently until I woke up. I hated that shit...


--------------------
To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.

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OfflineLuSiD9
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: Raven Gnosis]
    #14060788 - 03/03/11 03:27 PM (13 years, 1 day ago)

Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
I taught myself to make groaning noises while in it and told my brothers if they heard me doing it to shake me violently until I woke up. I hated that shit...




yeah dude... been plagued with it since I can remember, about 50% of the time I get it (which can be like 7 nights a week sometimes) I get this fucking entity with it... this crazy, misty black motherfucker.

the only way I've been able to communicate with the outside world during this shit is with breathing... my girlfriend now knows if she hears me breathing really fucking fast all of a sudden, I'm probably in sleep paralysis and she'll shake me awake... works every time.

there's a bonus to the constant sleep paralysis episodes though, it's the perfect launch pad for an OBE


--------------------
Nothing is true, everything is permissible.

Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons.

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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: LuSiD9]
    #14061413 - 03/03/11 05:02 PM (13 years, 1 day ago)

Hmm, I've never had sleep paralysis that does that. But sometimes, when I'm not awake during the attack, I breathe very heavy and fast like that and sometimes it escalates into screaming. I am not paralyzed though and the I'm often torn from my dream into a partially awake state and can kinda see what it is through feeling it. Even after awakening though, the feeling persists until I take some sort of action.... I now literally sleep with sage and other things of that nature next to me to burn when this shit happens... Prayer and things like that are the only thing that seems to do anything, all the doubt and skepticism in the world doesn't do a damn thing...


--------------------
To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.

Edited by Raven Gnosis (03/03/11 05:07 PM)

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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: Raven Gnosis]
    #14061558 - 03/03/11 05:23 PM (13 years, 1 day ago)

I want to clarify a perhaps minor point.

Your choice of the word "visitation" could be construed as implying an extraterrestrial event. Was it your intention? Or, rather, is "demonic" a more correct way, in your opinion, to describe your experiences?


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: Larrythescaryrex]
    #14061610 - 03/03/11 05:31 PM (13 years, 1 day ago)

Sometimes they are things that are not malicious in any way, that's what I consider a visit. No aliens or nothing.

But, demonic is often an appropriate word to describe the attacks.


--------------------
To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.

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OfflineLuSiD9
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: TeamAmerica]
    #14067210 - 03/04/11 04:36 PM (13 years, 20 hours ago)

Quote:

TeamAmerica said:
Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
  What use would it be to believe in wind if one has never felt it on their flesh?






:yoda2:

I do not believe in wind Because I cannot see it...Yet it can tear down the foundations of my house and throw it aside...It is hard to see the wind, you can only feel it...You can only see what it moves but not the movement of the wind itself...

Imagine...being an ancient person and experiencing the wind...The wind is an amazing thing, And always will be especially to ones that do not project onto it what they think they know about it...

Indeed one of the ancient's elements was air/wind...That which is invisible but moves the material world...

"The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."






I've spent entire acid trips contemplating this...


--------------------
Nothing is true, everything is permissible.

Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons.

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: Raven Gnosis] * 1
    #14067523 - 03/04/11 05:55 PM (13 years, 19 hours ago)

Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
Am I a fool to not accept this metaphorical raven that keeps landing on my shoulder?
I feel my skepticism and doubt I use as tools to experience what is most true in it's rawness in this case has become denial.




I can only leave you with a quote by Aleister Crowley:

I slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening; I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning.


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: deCypher]
    #14069724 - 03/05/11 06:29 AM (13 years, 6 hours ago)

Quote:

deCypher said:

I can only leave you with a quote by Aleister Crowley:

I slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening; I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning.






I love it, I can deeply relate. Thanks. :thumbup:


--------------------
To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.

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OfflineI AM SWIM
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: Raven Gnosis] * 1
    #14069939 - 03/05/11 08:19 AM (13 years, 4 hours ago)



--------------------

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Invisiblemillzy
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: deCypher] * 1
    #14073030 - 03/05/11 09:37 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

deCypher said:
Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
Am I a fool to not accept this metaphorical raven that keeps landing on my shoulder?
I feel my skepticism and doubt I use as tools to experience what is most true in it's rawness in this case has become denial.




I can only leave you with a quote by Aleister Crowley:

I slept with faith and found a corpse in my arms on awakening; I drank and danced all night with doubt and found her a virgin in the morning.




i like your posts.

i had a very unsettling experience when i lived in northern crete in 09. lots of bloodshed has taken place on that little island. at the time i was living out of a hotel room, and there was something in my bedroom that was not nice. it would try to do....something, whenever i'd almost fall asleep. i'd always snap awake right when i was about to enter deep sleep. i was out of sleep meds (chronic insomiac since i was 12) and didn't sleep for more than an hour or two total per night for about two weeks. it was terrifying and i thought i was going insane. this was also about a month after my first and only heavy duty ayahuasca session, which really spooked me. i have no explanation other than that it was fucked up and whatever i was experiencing was real, to me, at the time.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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OfflineLuSiD9
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: millzy]
    #14082862 - 03/07/11 06:31 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

millzy said:
, whenever i'd almost fall asleep. i'd always snap awake right when i was about to enter deep sleep. i was out of sleep meds (chronic insomiac since i was 12) and didn't sleep for more than an hour or two total per night for about two weeks. it was terrifying and i thought i was going insane. this was also about a month after my first and only heavy duty ayahuasca session, which really spooked me. i have no explanation other than that it was fucked up and whatever i was experiencing was real, to me, at the time.




were you paralyzed?


--------------------
Nothing is true, everything is permissible.

Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons.

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Invisiblemillzy
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: LuSiD9]
    #14087424 - 03/08/11 03:45 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

no, i could move.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger

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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: LuSiD9]
    #14087860 - 03/08/11 05:12 PM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

millzy said:
This was also about a month after my first and only heavy duty ayahuasca session, which really spooked me. I have no explanation other than that it was fucked up and whatever i was experiencing was real, to me, at the time.




I understand where you are coming from. After ingesting entheogens with strong intentions my experiences involving things of this nature increase in intensity and frequency, ten fold, no exaggeration.
It's terrifying.
I live in an area that is rich in Native American history and sites. The most heavily populated in the states actually.
After ingesting entheogens, I could feel them... And could feel the exact spots where they had been, it felt like they did not like what people have done to these places, and could feel a lot of literal hair raising hostility directed at me. Later, I looked up these places I felt it the strongest in, turns out I was in exact spots of native camps... very spooky.
Changed my outlook on a lot of things and greatly increased my respect for the land and the indigenous peoples who called it home for over 10,000 years before whitey showed up and fucked it up in less than 200... :congrats:

Looking back I can't help but wonder how much of it was real, besides the obvious and only have subtle reminders of that intensity through what still occurs.
I treat all entheogens with the utmost respect strongly in part because of it's tendencies to open me to these things.


--------------------
To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.

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OfflineLuSiD9
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: Raven Gnosis]
    #14090580 - 03/09/11 01:21 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Raven Gnosis said:
I now literally sleep with sage and other things of that nature next to me to burn when this shit happens...




I have no idea why I've never thought of that... I have a giant bag of white sage, and yet I've never tried using it to try and get rid of this fucking entity....

thanks, i'll have to try it :thumbup:

:mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2:


--------------------
Nothing is true, everything is permissible.

Our laws make law impossible; our liberties destroy all freedom; our property is organized robbery; our morality an impudent hypocrisy; our wisdom is administered by inexperienced or mal-experienced dupes; our power wielded by cowards and weaklings; and our honour false in all its points. I am an enemy of the existing order for good reasons.

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OfflineLarrythescaryrex
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: LuSiD9]
    #14090650 - 03/09/11 01:51 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

yeah, thats a useful tool.


--------------------
RIP Acidic_Sloth

Sunset_Mission said:
"larry the scary rex
verily scary when thoroughly vexed
invoke the shadows and dust, cast a hex
mercifully massacring memories masterfully
relocate from Ur to 8th density and become a cosmic bully
mulder and scully couldn't decipher his glyphs
invoke the shadows and dust, smoke infernal spliffs"
April 24th 2011

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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
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Re: Visitation/Attacks [Re: LuSiD9]
    #14090782 - 03/09/11 03:26 AM (12 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

i]LuSiD9 said:

I have no idea why I've never thought of that... I have a giant bag of white sage, and yet I've never tried using it to try and get rid of this fucking entity....

thanks, i'll have to try it :thumbup:

:mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2:




Do it with the intention of ridding yourself or the area around you of whatever it is that may be ailing you or influencing you to ail yourself perhaps, it can be difficult to tell sometimes, regardless, I hope it works.

Lemme know how it goes. I'm curious.:thumbup:


--------------------
To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.

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