Home | Community | Message Board


This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Left Coast Kratom Kratom Powder For Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale   North Spore Injection Grain Bag

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1
Some of these posts are very old and might contain outdated information. You may wish to search for newer posts instead.
OfflineDoDahDay
Stranger?
Male User Gallery


Registered: 10/10/10
Posts: 285
Loc: Bat country
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
The FEAR continues!
    #13991747 - 02/19/11 07:28 PM (13 years, 14 days ago)

It was about 6pm. Not quite sure how much I took(made tea from some cakes that were spent - in four cups of water, i put 18 heaping spoonfuls of this powder in with half a lemon and some other ingredients. I drank one cup then as soon as it started to kick in, I drank another 2/3 cup.) but the trip started out fine. As soon as it started, I went out for a walk. Didnt see much at first but all the lights were kaliedoscoped. Beautiful. Didnt have much thinking like Ive had before, at least at this point.

Walked into a local gas station to take a piss and nothing was standing still. Plus I couldnt get the smile off of my face. Came out and continued to walk. Things began to get more weird. The world was tilted. The sidewalk was wavying from side to side. Things began to tunnel in front of me, pointing me towards a light in the distance. "This is my destiny" I began to think as I venture toward this light. After I realized that it was nearly 2 miles away, I stopped following. This mighty tree became two dimensional and jet black and its branches began to swirl and flutter.

Made my way home. Its about 8pm. I have a lot of old paneling in the house. The wood grain was like water on warm spring day with a gentle wind blowing acrossed, but the thoughts I had were not so pleasant. Cold, dark and empty.  I got my wallet and headed over to the dg. Went in and got some orange juice. The girl that waited on me was very beautiful. Made small talk and left. Continued walking to the local park. Noticed that the geese had only shit on the sidewalk. Thought that the geese were playing a trick on us humans and began to laugh histarically.

On the other side of the pond, there is a bench. So I sat down. Everything was frozen,but the leaves that were in the pond werent staying still. They would surface drift to the center of the pond and then disappear. I sat there and chugged the orange juice for a few minutes. Was at total peace. I could have sat there all night, but knew that I had to get up early the next morning. So I started home. I swear that I saw a swan frozen in the pond. I still contemplate the reality of this.

When I got home, this feeling of loneliness came over me. Like all the fun was gone. Went into my room and began to stare at the fractile that was displayed(in my mind) on my ceiling as clear as day. Then I began to think of the girl from dg. With my eyes closed, I had vivid thoughts of us in the backroom doing the dirty. Then suddenly my thoughts began to get obscured. They were frantic and fast paced. I couldnt focus on much of anything. I got this thought that my mind was all powerful. Then it came, "What if I could stop my heart?" I thought. This thought began to disturb me, plus my belly was hurting from chugging the oj on an empty stomach. I couldnt get it out of my head. I tried to lay down and go to sleep, but the thought kept invading me. Then the panic started. My heart thumped very hard and this sinking feeling came about me. I got up and began to go through all the things that I have learned from tripping: Tell yourself that its just the drug and it will eventually fade, put my feet on the ground to connect, slow your breathing, think of happy things, but none of them worked. I continued to feel it thumping very hard. I got to the floor and sat in my meditation posture on my meditation pillow and tried to clear my mind, but to no avail. It thumped so hard that I could feel it in my back. I stood up and went into the front room to put on this Keller Williams show dvd and turned it way up. This music began to calm me and I started pacing in my house. "What just happened. Where did this thought come from" I continued to ask. I was beginning to calm down then it surged again. The only thing that I could think of was go back outside and pace in the cold in my backyard. As crazy as my neighbors may have thought I was, I continued to talk to myself and pace. Suddenly I realized that I had just locked myself out of my house when I shut the door. FUCK! But it was the least of my worries, I thought, as I continued to pace.

To make myself seem less weird, I started down the block. I was in my pjs and house slippers. It was windy as hell and cold, but I didnt care. I just kept on walking. It was what made me feel better before so I continued. Its about 11pm now. I began to think of all the bad things that I have done recently. I yelled at my kids and felt that I didnt love them enough( p.s. they were not with me if you were wondering.). I suddenly wanted to go get them from my mothers and hug and kiss the shit out of them. This made me feel very good inside even with the thoughts of not being a good father. I knew that I had to go home and figure out a way to get back in.

When I made it home, I felt prepared to return. I knew of a window that wasnt always locked and tried it. Success! I got it open and entered my house(very worried that I would have the cops called seeings how I was breaking into my own house). I immediately turned the keller williams back up and started to reflect on all the things that I needed to change in my life. The amazing warmth came about me and I began to cry( yes...cry. I am not ashamed.). I felt horrible about things. After this, which lasted about 5 min, I felt I was able to go to sleep. Now its about 12:30pm. But the FEAR came back. I was almost afraid to fall asleep. Got up and tried to sleep in my kids room to give me a connection to them since their energy made me feel better. No good. Tried hugging a pillow. I ended up in the front room with the music up trying to sleep on the couch. I found that if I almost stopped my breathing that my heart fell back into the norm but the urge to breathe deep and heavy was fighting me. I wanted to breath but I knew that I would bring me pain. Also, through the whole thing, I continued to have the rainbow effect and breathing walls. I fall asleep at around 2am.

I woke the next morning at 5am to start off to work. I still felt odd but not panicy. Til this day I still have this sinking feeling and a thud of a heart beat occasionally. It has begun to tapper off but not vanish. I have had the need multiple time, while on a recent vacation trip, to tell the people i was with that they need to call 911 because I thought I was going to have a heart attack. My psychologist didnt give me much advice but to do what I felt could make me feel better(copious amounts of water for some reason does the trick) and get a physician to look at me before he offered medicine. But Im in very good health. Im active, eat fairly well(i am a heavy soda drinker), dont drink much alcohol(one beer a week at most) and have been for some time. Though I have many stresses in life(kids, court, psycho ex and work) they havent bothered me much before. I have been forced to stop smoking weed recently which sucks. That was about 7 months prior to this.


I know I didnt prepare well but I had tripped multiple time before this and even had weird people drive up to my house and leave while tripping. Ive called the cops to make a police report while tripping(if you knew the whole story you would understand). Kind of looking to advice on how I might be able to reverse some of the lingering effects of this bad, but enlightening, trip. I really want to journey again, but have this FEAR now. Thanks


--------------------
"I fart in your general direction!  Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries!"

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineWoah
Stranger
Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 75
Last seen: 11 years, 10 months
Re: The FEAR continues! [Re: DoDahDay]
    #14054095 - 03/02/11 11:29 AM (13 years, 3 days ago)

Hi, I've had the same problem, except it only happened one night several times after smoking and drinking heavily the past week. It happened when I was finally home after taking lots of bonghits.
I had the same thought, the same feeling, have called 911 etc.
The thing that really helped me was... Had a doctor check my heartbeat and tell me I'm ok.

It was that simple, the symptoms we both have are explained by hyperventilation. When you get the urge to breathe heavily just trust your body and think about something else. Try to FORGET about breathing entirely and just release all tension.

What also helps is breathing deep, through your stomach if you know what I mean, 3 seconds in, 6 seconds out. The fact that you were tripping just really intensified the fear, but it must be seen as just that: Fear. It causes you to panic, which causes your body to go into stress mode for no reason, then your muscles start to scream for oxygen and there you go.

The only thing that really helps in the long run is to trust your body.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1

Shop: Left Coast Kratom Kratom Powder For Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale   North Spore Injection Grain Bag


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! CaptBeefheart 3,077 14 01/31/07 08:05 PM
by MyInnerChild
* THE FEAR... moxjet20 2,970 14 09/04/01 12:01 AM
by I_AM_THE_WALRUS
* Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
( 1 2 3 4 all )
Crotalus 6,593 67 06/20/05 11:12 PM
by RANKSRAGGY68
* Survive the fear Chemical_Smile 1,758 14 09/22/04 11:03 PM
by skaMariaPastora
* HBWS Trip Report SourceLimit 1,514 7 01/09/05 07:05 PM
by Zirus666
* TRIP REPORT: I'm Leonardo Da Vinci! MikeHuntShrooms 956 4 12/10/03 05:23 PM
by notapillow
* P. cubensis - 2.5 grams - Psychedelic awakenings Tranceport 2,452 4 01/31/05 02:28 AM
by BeenHereNow
* Some salvia ramblings PDU 2,237 12 01/20/04 02:51 PM
by Twirling

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: psilocybinjunkie
452 topic views. 0 members, 5 guests and 1 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.023 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 14 queries.