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OfflineHakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!
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Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW Flag
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
Fucking Christ
    #14050714 - 03/01/11 07:44 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Im not trolling when I ask this. Do you think a good amount of christians would have sex with jesus if they had the opportunity and, if thats what they prefer, keep it on the hush?

I ask because I was living in a shelter once and some of the shit fundamentalist christians say about him is just...weird.


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OfflineGastronomicus
3-0-G
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Registered: 03/31/05
Posts: 9,727
Last seen: 5 hours, 56 minutes
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Hakim0777]
    #14050722 - 03/01/11 07:45 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Jesus is already inside of you :naughty:


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Make my Funk the P Funk, I wants to get Funked up

LAGM2024


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InvisibleSophistic Radiance
Free sVs!
Female


Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Hakim0777]
    #14050723 - 03/01/11 07:45 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Open your butthole to Christ Lord.


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Enlil said:
You really are the worst kind of person.



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Invisiblewow
Lurking master
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Registered: 07/27/06
Posts: 1,260
Loc: Cloud 9
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #14050764 - 03/01/11 07:52 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

he had a wife named mary magdalin..  john the baptist was a mason..  jesus was an alien..  no shit...


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InvisibleSalomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ
Male
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH Flag
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Sophistic Radiance] * 3
    #14050768 - 03/01/11 07:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

i'd stick my penis in jesus


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EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT



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Invisible4runner
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Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Salomon]
    #14050772 - 03/01/11 07:54 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Salomon said:
i'd stick my penis in jesus




I'd give him a handy if he gave me super powers.


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OfflineLloydChristmas
getting lost on purpose
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Registered: 04/05/06
Posts: 4,245
Loc: atx Flag
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Re: Fucking Christ [Re: wow]
    #14050774 - 03/01/11 07:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I've always been disturbed by Christian music.  90% of it sounds like they truly want to have intercourse with him.  I've wondered if other religions' music has a similar boner-for-lord theme.


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InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
eggshells
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Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
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Re: Fucking Christ [Re: LloydChristmas] * 2
    #14050795 - 03/01/11 07:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

A 5 foot curly haired jew? No thanks


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OfflinePreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 15 hours, 32 minutes
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: LloydChristmas]
    #14050800 - 03/01/11 07:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I'd smash Mary :shrug:


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Invisible4runner
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Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Hakim0777]
    #14050802 - 03/01/11 07:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Hakim0777 said:
Im not trolling when I ask this. Do you think a good amount of christians would have sex with jesus if they had the opportunity and, if thats what they prefer, keep it on the hush?




Oh and yes I beleive so, except maybe the really weird ones. "oh this has got to be a test, the rapture is upon us!"


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OfflineHumility
Working on it
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Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
    #14051455 - 03/01/11 09:54 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

+


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OfflineDrMambo
hamburger time
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Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
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Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Humility]
    #14051510 - 03/01/11 10:02 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)



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"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"


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OfflineDr. P. Silocybin
Would you like fries with that?
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Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 2,620
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Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Humility]
    #14051537 - 03/01/11 10:05 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I read about this weird cult called Moravian Brethren from Germany

they used to fantasize about the Jesus' "side wound"
(some roman poked him in the side with a spear during the crucifixion)

they compared it to a menstruating vagina
they were some weird fucks
and im sure theres even weirder fucks around today


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OfflineDrMambo
hamburger time
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Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
Loc: 53rd & 3rd
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Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Dr. P. Silocybin]
    #14051568 - 03/01/11 10:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

Dr. P. Silocybin said:
I read about this weird cult called Moravian Brethren from Germany

they used to fantasize about the Jesus' "side wound"
(some roman poked him in the side with a spear during the crucifixion)

they compared it to a menstruating vagina
they were some weird fucks
and im sure theres even weirder fucks around today




If you want another weird cult check out the martyrdom obsessed Circumcellions.

also...


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"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"


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Invisible4HO-DMT
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Registered: 01/11/11
Posts: 5,073
Loc: County Line Road
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: DrMambo]
    #14051899 - 03/01/11 11:00 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Supposedly Catholics drink his blood and eat his flesh every Sunday.  If that is acceptable then penetration is nothing.


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Offlineelectricfeel
wild wallflower
Female

Registered: 05/19/10
Posts: 554
Loc: sinking into the center
Last seen: 7 months, 17 days
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: DrMambo]
    #14051948 - 03/01/11 11:05 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)



Hahahah "I just want to feel you deep inside me, Jesus"

I was trying to find the song where they sing,

"I wanna please you Jesus, I wanna feel your salvation all over my face!"


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OfflineDr. P. Silocybin
Would you like fries with that?
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Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 2,620
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Re: Fucking Christ [Re: electricfeel]
    #14052007 - 03/01/11 11:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

the crazy shit about the moravians is that they weren't considered extremists or cultist in their time
they did a lot of missionary work in Africa and the Caribbean colonies
later they tried to change their image and cover up the whole side wound thing
but it didn't really work out


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Offlinemasterharf
Stranger
Male


Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 615
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Dr. P. Silocybin]
    #14052039 - 03/01/11 11:20 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

id love to split mary's virgin pussy


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harf


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OfflineDr. P. Silocybin
Would you like fries with that?
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Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 2,620
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Re: Fucking Christ [Re: masterharf]
    #14052052 - 03/01/11 11:23 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

no doubt


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OfflineBrugman
antisobrietarian
Male


Registered: 05/16/01
Posts: 15,887
Loc: the land up over Flag
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Re: Fucking Christ [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #14052092 - 03/01/11 11:30 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

I_was_the_walrus said:
A 5 foot curly haired jew? No thanks




Definitely would.


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Invisible4HO-DMT
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Registered: 01/11/11
Posts: 5,073
Loc: County Line Road
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: Brugman]
    #14052121 - 03/01/11 11:36 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

What about some of those hindu goddesses like Kali?  They got six fucking hands!


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OfflineDrMambo
hamburger time
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Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
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Re: Fucking Christ [Re: electricfeel]
    #14053547 - 03/02/11 09:37 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

electricfeel said:
"I wanna please you Jesus, I wanna feel your salvation all over my face!"




It's, "I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasin' Jesus, I wanna feel his salvation all over my face!"

http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/103761/pleasing-jesus

"Whenever I see Jesus up on that cross, I can't help but think, that he looks kinda high."


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"Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"


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OfflinePigasus
D.T.K.L.A.M.F.

Registered: 05/04/08
Posts: 3,572
Loc: slow death
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Fucking Christ [Re: DrMambo]
    #14053560 - 03/02/11 09:39 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

His dick rises on the third day...


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