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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
I'm an addict
    #1404888 - 03/24/03 05:46 AM (14 years, 3 days ago)

Well after getting scared shitless by the po, I decided I needed a way to beat the probation tests I would be taking. I have now passed two using substitution and I guess I could go on with my habits, but after my last mushroom trip I broke down my mental addiction to marijuana and the lifestyle I lived for far to long. I have been a multi-daily (4-5x) smoker for years and I really feel that I need a brake. Unfortunatley for me my addiction will not let go. It has been a week since I decided I was goin to quit. I can not do it. Every day since I have smoked. It is not because I do not think of marijuana as a problem, I fully realize I am addicted to it and how it has changed my life ($, relationships, probation). I would like to be able to quit and never even consider using again, everyday I tell myself one last day. It is becoming rediculous, and my life is crashing before my eyes and the weed is my solution everyday. Wow, now the circle is complete and I can see it. Weed = my failure which = more smokin weed. I guess babbling your brains out can help. Any support will be gladly appreciated and welcome, and I woud love to hear some positve stories of your cessation to give me some more inspiration.


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
[Re: diggitydankman]
    #1404910 - 03/24/03 05:58 AM (14 years, 3 days ago)



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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
Re: I'm an addict [Re: matts]
    #1404945 - 03/24/03 06:23 AM (14 years, 3 days ago)

Thank you for the positive support. I guess I was unclear. As my life crashes I smoke more to help deal with problems. This in time can only lead to more problems, which I smoke more to cope with. I finally saw this cycle for myself today, and it left me crying to myself in the shower. I felt like such a loser for not being able to see this before.


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
[Re: diggitydankman]
    #1404953 - 03/24/03 06:27 AM (14 years, 3 days ago)



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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: I'm an addict [Re: matts]
    #1405032 - 03/24/03 07:14 AM (14 years, 3 days ago)

dankman, i'm here with you man.

i also told myself recently to quit, even just for awhile, but that lasted for about a day. problem is, live-in boyfriend. i told him i wasn't going to go out and buy any because i wanted to quit smoking for awhile and what does he do? yes, buys a bag, brings it home. so far i'm not doing so well, but i'm not giving up yet. i may not have any pearls of wisdom for you, just know that you are not alone in your predicament.


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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
Re: I'm an addict [Re: adrug]
    #1405871 - 03/24/03 12:28 PM (14 years, 3 days ago)

yes the hardest thing I have found is not necesarrilly the addiction to marijuana, but my friends are pot heads and me quiting is not going to stop them. Having the will power to stop when a joint is being rolled from some prime herb right in front of you is hard. Also like you I have quit buying weed, the friends get me over and over again. I need to talk to them and let them know what is ok and what is not. I am looking around for more friends at my new job and at school. There just are not many free-thinkers out there that don't use substances or have not experienced them in the past.


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
[Re: diggitydankman]
    #1406625 - 03/24/03 05:38 PM (14 years, 3 days ago)



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OfflineAudi0
have ur cake andbeat it 2
Female User Gallery

Registered: 06/27/02
Posts: 10,334
Loc: Dirty South !
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
Re: I'm an addict [Re: matts]
    #1406803 - 03/24/03 07:23 PM (14 years, 3 days ago)

I hope you can kick it man. I know its hard. MJ isnt a bad thing but you can get carried away with it just like anything else and it puts a strain on you. Addictions are a bitch. I know. I realized I was addicted to meth a week or so ago.

I didnt notice how my use had gone from very occasional to almost every week. For the last 3 months I've been using it all the time, staying up for days and then sleeping/eating/resting a day or 2 and then back to it. I am kind of lucky bc I dont have to buy it so Im not out stealing or hocking everything I own for more shit. But unlucky bc if it werent for getting it all free I wouldnt be in this predicament.

I try to hide the abuse. I lie about eating and sleeping to my good friends and family. My best friend knew about and it asked me to stop. I told her I was gonna try but that was when I didnt have any dope. Its easy to say you quit when you dont have any. I really didnt notice how bad I had gotten on the stuff until last night/early this morning.

I had been up since last monday at 8 pm. There is no telling how much meth I smoked this week. Alot. I thought I had done my last around 10 am sunday. By midnight I was getting pretty fiendish. I was crawling on the floor, searching under the bed, digging thru drawers looking for pens and straws that had been used to smoke/snort the shit shit. Then I cut them all up and scraped the residue out and smoke it.

When I was thru I was about to look for more when I actually saw what I was doing myself. I am not some scummy ass tweaker. Im an average kind of person I think. Not trailer trash or something. I feel like it takes for me to almost go over the edge with something before I can see how far the drop is and begin to back away.

I wish you the best with trying to quit. I know that for me kicking this habit is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done but I cant go on like this. Its gone far enough.


--------------------


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Invisiblematts
matts

Registered: 01/28/02
Posts: 3,649
[Re: Audi0]
    #1407371 - 03/25/03 03:13 AM (14 years, 2 days ago)



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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
Elder
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/10/99
Posts: 12,824
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 41 minutes, 29 seconds
Re: I'm an addict [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1408729 - 03/25/03 01:14 PM (14 years, 2 days ago)

Take yourself to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting for crying out loud. You don't have to be an IV heroin user to check it out, and you don't have to stand up and tell anyone you're an addict unless and until you want to. You might have to leave a 2 dollar donation, but no one will get in your face about it. You can learn how others deal with their addictions, and get a sponsor if you want to who will volunteer to talk with you 24-7 if you have to be persuaded not to use. Best of all, its a support system and lots of people form close friendships and even romantic relationships from people who understand this central problem in their lives. A phone number ought to be in the book for local NA meeting locations. Go alone, or take a friend for moral support - whatever.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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OfflineSkikid16
fungus fan

Registered: 06/27/02
Posts: 5,666
Loc: In the middle of the nort...
Last seen: 11 years, 11 months
Re: I'm an addict [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1408783 - 03/25/03 01:39 PM (14 years, 2 days ago)

A year ago, wow, I can't believe it was that long ago, I was a everyday, all day smoker, I'd skip class to smoke and play xbox (SSX Tricky, if you must know).

But I got a nice little reality check when grades came in and I ended up with like a 1.75 GPA, so I realized it was about time to do something with my abuse.

I came to the conclusion that I didn't feel the need to completely quit smoking, I mean it is fun, and it is not harmlful (at least not as harmful as drinking, which seems to be the only other option to intoxication in my local), but the key is moderation. Now, I make sure I accomplish all my tasks (homework, housework, work work, etc.) before I smoke. I still smoke everyday, but now an 8th lasts me about 3 weeks, instead of a week. Last semester I got a 3.5 and this semester I'm looking at the same or better.

But it is tough when all my buddies are smoking and I have to say "no, I still have to study a little" while they're all chinese-eyed, bastards.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is quitting may not be the immidiate solution, maybe moderation is the key for you.

And stop feeling like you are a loser, you're not, at least you have the balls to admit you have a problem.


--------------------
Re-Defeat Bush in '04


Edited by Skikid16 (03/25/03 01:41 PM)


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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
Re: I'm an addict [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #1410590 - 03/26/03 07:30 AM (14 years, 1 day ago)

I am going to seek general counseling as part of my probation. This will be more useful to me than just drug rehab. I am making an appt for next week and I hope that this will be able to help. The only time that I have had counseling though, I have always found it difficult to talk to them. I am shy and not an emotionally open person, although my last shroom has left me more emotionally open to all my friends and this is one of the best feelings. I feel it much easier to communicate ideas to them than it was a week ago.


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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OfflineCryptic
WarpedCndn

Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 598
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
Re: I'm an addict [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1411247 - 03/26/03 11:47 AM (14 years, 1 day ago)

i smoked 3 times a day for 2 years..

I was Addicted, and i quit, it takes a lil time, and just a few puffs here and there to keep you fine.. but its possible to quit

Right now i am going on 6 months of not using anything but Mushrooms.. and Alcohol. and i dont use either very often at all. you just need something to make you really want to quit, because the only way you will ever quit is if you really honestly want to quit.

my GF saying she didint like it when i smoked weed was more then enough reason for me


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-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

While the Trees Grow out of your Skin, Can i plant you so a forest will grow?
"When you want it, it goes away to Fast. Times you hate it always seem to last" - Marilyn Manson


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
Elder
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/10/99
Posts: 12,824
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 41 minutes, 29 seconds
Re: I'm an addict [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1412071 - 03/26/03 05:40 PM (14 years, 1 day ago)

Well, good for you. You should know that counseling is not just about feelings - it is equally about thoughts. I am analytically oriented, and my personality is that of an NT or intuitve thinker, so counseling with someone like me is not aimed at evoking feelings specifically. Thoughts do not occur in a vacuum, they are 'tinged' with 'affect.' which is just as important, but not necessarily the focus.

Psychotherapy is an important adjunct to addiction treatment, but I recommend 12 Step Programs. They derive from Bill Wilson, founder of AA, who sought advice from C.G. Jung personally. Jung told Bill that a religious experience was the answer. Bill returned to the USA and became involved with early LSD research. At first, Bill wanted to turn on the world, but when that became problematical, he distilled his insights into a system that closely resembles classical Yoga - beginning with ethical and moral constraints, self-emptying, meditation, prayer and religious insight. I published a short paper on this in a professional journal back in 1988, and I'm still of the same opinion.


--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Anonymous #1

Re: I'm an addict [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1412223 - 03/26/03 06:39 PM (14 years, 1 day ago)

n/a


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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
Re: I'm an addict [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1425521 - 04/03/03 08:12 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I have a new job which I start today, I have quit for a week plus one, and I feel amazing. My head is clear, I no longer wake up confused or tired. I feel the need to do something, anything and theproductive side of me is returning. My counselor is a nice man and I feel that I can actually talk to him (something I have always been to uncomfortable to do.) Thank you everyone for your support.


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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Offlinewyldtouch69
You heard ofhell well i wassent from it

Registered: 09/25/02
Posts: 2,817
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
Re: I'm an addict [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1429306 - 04/04/03 06:02 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

yeah, I know how ya feel, it's hard to just drop it... about a year ago my roomie moved in and she SOLD the shit, so we would just sit around and get STONED all day, everyday. there was always people going in and out of our house. the wrong kind of people. it led to a downward spiral... my parents forced me to move out... then i got my shit together and moved away. I have gone like almost 1 month without smoking... and I only went through like a 1/4 the previous two months before this last month. and I don't even care about it anymore, I dont miss it at all. Smoking a J now and then is kewl, but getting stoned everyday gets old and puts you into a rut and you don't realize how far down you are until you're down too deep. and i hate to sound like a DARE Commercial, but a lot of the times, pot does lead to harder drugs... some of my friends who swore they'd only smoke pot are now strung out on meth and coke. they are truly miserable.
anyway i went a little off... seriously though, your decision to quit smoking pot(or slowing down to like 1 or 2 times a month) is probably one of the best you will ever make in your life.
Pot is a great 'drug', but it shouldn't be an everyday thing.
it should be like alcohol or shrooms... just every once in a while. besides, now if/when I smoke I get *STONED* from like 4 hits.
So, stop smoking pot, start living a better, happier life. :grin:


--------------------


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Anonymous #1

Re: I'm an addict [Re: wyldtouch69]
    #1429645 - 04/04/03 07:59 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

your post made me realize my own problems, i have been trying to convince myself to stop smoking for about a month now, everday i say to myself "i'l quit tommorow, there is some good shit on right now", i smoke 3-4 times a day and it takes me a .7 to get high, i have been a daily for over 3 years. i have not noticed but because of my habit i have lost almost all my friends. I have no job, no cash and no shit running. I used to have so much cash i did not know what to do with it, and now i'm broke. I don't pay for my shit so money has not stoped my habit. it is getting really bad. It has turned into a habit, at certain times of the day i just get these horrible cravings and can't do anything, i can't even think straight, everything always leads back to smoking. I am lost, although i have managed to quite every other drug i was doing i can't seem to drop weed. It has a very strong hold on me. I stoped for a week like 4 months back to pass a prob. test, i got off and never had to take any tests again. Its like i have to convince myself that i don't need weed, and even when i convince my self that i don't need it, i still want it. this tommorow shit has got to stop.

sorry if i bored u but i have to release, i think i am going to snap, today is the first day that i have not smoked in well over 3 months, and the reason for that was because it was too cold to go outside and my mom was home today


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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
Re: I'm an addict [Re: ]
    #1430252 - 04/05/03 12:11 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

When you truly realize that it has become an addiction, it becomes much easier to quit. :grin:  I hate to say it but admitance is the first step, not admitance to just yourself but to everyone you know.  I came flat out and started telling everyone I could about it, and I truly feel more comfortable with myself for that.  I found myself surounded by friends willing to steal just to have enough money for that eighth and when I saw this I was very sad.  My life was not meeting the goals I had made when I was younger and this hurt me deeply.  The first couple of days are hard, but the key is to overcome the mental addiction to it.  When you finally realize that you are able to live without the pot, days will go by without a single thought being cast towards the dank.  I remember when I quit the first time between ninth and tenth grade and I would go on and on day after day wanting to smoke, but my girlfriend wanted me to be a sober individual and pussy was a good trade for pot at the time. :wink:  This time I hardly find myself thinking about marijuana and when I do it is fond thoughts of times past, not if I can make it another day without a doob.  Thank you all for listening and good luck on quitting, it is for the better. 


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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Invisibleadrug

Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: I'm an addict [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1431195 - 04/05/03 01:12 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

you don't realize how far down you are until you're down too deep.




Damn straight, wyld. I've made no progress at all. I've repeated my desire many times to take a break from smoking weed to my live in boyfriend, but it seems he doesn't care. Yesterday we fought all day long about this (among other things) and he said that he understood after I smacked him in the face with our psychological addiction, then bought a bag when I was at work.

I'm to the point now where I sometimes stumble over words when I'm trying to talk to people, I can't remember names of people I've just been introduced to, and a general lack of motivation to do much of anything. I know that I'm going to have to separate myself from drugs completely if this is going to work for me. Its a fucking hard decision to make though, when it means leaving someone you love.


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