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Offlineroombird
mescaline
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Registered: 01/18/11
Posts: 932
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: chronicdruid]
    #14036676 - 02/27/11 03:51 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

i got one kinda short and sweet



a baby seal walked into a club


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Good people drink good beer-Hunter S. Thompson

:mushroom2: WE Are the Music Makers
and :mushroom2:WE Are the Dreamers of Dreams


no one truly  goes insane; for we all are already. normality to us, is insanity  to society.

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InvisibleSamuel L Jackson
Bad Motherfucker
Male

Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 8,395
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: roombird]
    #14036711 - 02/27/11 03:56 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

what do you call 3 chinese guys, a mexican, and 5 black people all lined up on a wall?


a sprinkler!

chink chink chink, spick, niggy niggy niggy niggy niggy




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Offlinesunset_mission
Entheonaut
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Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 5,767
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Samuel L Jackson]
    #14036733 - 02/27/11 03:59 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

:lol: Didn't see that one coming.

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InvisibleLobsterSauceDiscord
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Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 19,884
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
    #14036776 - 02/27/11 04:08 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

What do you call a black man in a tree?

A branch manager.

How do you hide a black man in a coal shed?

Kick his teeth in.

That last one is brutal:lol:


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OfflineROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #14036827 - 02/27/11 04:19 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

What's black, smelly, poor, stupid, and ugly?


A nigger.


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Offlinechronicdruid
Stranger

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 112
Last seen: 4 years, 8 months
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: ROFL_my_ WAFFLE]
    #14037354 - 02/27/11 05:58 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

lol SamuelLJacksons's joke + rep

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OfflineHakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: LobsterSauce]
    #14037356 - 02/27/11 05:59 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

Jimtown said:
What do you call a black man in a tree?

A branch manager.

How do you hide a black man in a coal shed?

Kick his teeth in.

That last one is brutal:lol:




holy shit dude. :lol:


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OfflineHakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
    #14037362 - 02/27/11 06:00 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

What do you call a successful black lawyer?

Nigger.


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OfflineROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida Flag
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
    #14037379 - 02/27/11 06:02 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

What do you call someone who posts pictures of micropenises?


Nigger.


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OfflineLion
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Registered: 09/20/05
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Samuel L Jackson]
    #14037419 - 02/27/11 06:08 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

SamuelLJackson said:
Quote:

Lion said:
Quote:

Brugman said:
The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! :lol:


Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...




i heard only racists know 'black jokes'....

:lol: get real.


I call it like I see it.  These jokes aren't funny to me, and I bet most of the people posting them wouldn't say them around a black person, which makes posting them anonymously on the Internet in my opinion kind of an unhealthy thing to engage in.  After all the Shroomery is like 95% young white males.

Look up some old racist advertisements, there are tons to be found on the web.  You'll surprised by the dehumanizing stuff you'll see, and how similar they are in content to these innocent "jokes".  Sorry to ruin the mood for people who are sharing jokes that actually involve wit!


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“Strengthened by contemplation and study,
I will not fear my passions like a coward.
My body I will give to pleasures,
to diversions that I’ve dreamed of,
to the most daring erotic desires,
to the lustful impulses of my blood, without
any fear at all, for whenever I will—
and I will have the will, strengthened
as I’ll be with contemplation and study—
at the crucial moments I’ll recover
my spirit as was before: ascetic.”

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OfflineHakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Lion]
    #14037433 - 02/27/11 06:10 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

Lion said:
Quote:

SamuelLJackson said:
Quote:

Lion said:
Quote:

Brugman said:
The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! :lol:


Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...




i heard only racists know 'black jokes'....

:lol: get real.


I call it like I see it.  These jokes aren't funny to me, and I bet most of the people posting them wouldn't say them around a black person, which makes posting them anonymously on the Internet in my opinion kind of an unhealthy thing to engage in.  After all the Shroomery is like 95% young white males.

Look up some old racist advertisements, there are tons to be found on the web.  You'll surprised by the dehumanizing stuff you'll see, and how similar they are in content to these innocent "jokes".  Sorry to ruin the mood for people who are sharing jokes that actually involve wit!




shut up whiteboy!


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OfflineFungal-one
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Registered: 07/14/10
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
    #14037439 - 02/27/11 06:11 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

These truckers are hauling a load of black bowling balls when they are flagged down by two black kids pushing a bicycle. They stopped and asked the kids what was wrong. The one kids says that their tire is flat and they really need a ride. Not wanting to do it the man's pity wins him over. He tells the kids to get in the back of the truck and not make a sound.

Several miles down the road they have to be weighed. They pull into the weigh station and answer all the normal questions. While talking to the one attendant the other attendant walks around back of the truck and opens the door. Immediately the doors slams shut and the man runs around to the drivers window and says ' Get the fuck out of here, dont stop just keep going and do it now!'

With a wtf look on his face his coworker says 'what the fuck was that all about?' Still out of breath the guy says 'they had a whole truck load of nigger eggs and two of em done hatched and stole a bicycle!'


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Never judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. But, by that time you're a mile away and you got his shoes, so fuck em.

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Offline28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Fungal-one]
    #14037451 - 02/27/11 06:14 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Two weasels are in a bar drinking, they’ve had a few drinks and are starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. One turns to the other and slurs, “I fucked your mother.” The second weasel makes no reply and so the first weasel slurs again, more loudly this time, “I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!” The whole bar turns to watch what will certainly be a big fight. The second weasel says, “Shut up Dad, you’re drunk”


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Offlinesunset_mission
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Registered: 01/22/11
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Fungal-one]
    #14037456 - 02/27/11 06:15 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

What's the useless skin around a vagina called?

A woman.

What was the greatest joke ever told?

Women's rights.

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OfflineROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida Flag
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
    #14037464 - 02/27/11 06:16 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

What's faster than a speeding bullet?

A Jew with a coupon.


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OfflineFungal-one
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 28064212] * 1
    #14037473 - 02/27/11 06:17 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

One of my all time shroomery favorites;

A horse walks into a bar. Several people leave when they realize the potential danger of the situation.

:lolsy:


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Never judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. But, by that time you're a mile away and you got his shoes, so fuck em.

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OfflineShroom_i
Gatherer
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Fungal-one]
    #14037589 - 02/27/11 06:38 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

A joke's a joke. I'll tell a black joke in front of a black person, if I feel comfortable, and that they know I'm just joking. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not racist. However I find this:

Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.

The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.

That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.

"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."

"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.

"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"

The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."


FUCKING HILARIOUS.

I think I can come up with a few more later.


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Prisoner#1 said:
[quote]destructo_low said:
Prisoner's posts by percentage.

Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044%

Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956%
[/quote]

worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]

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OfflineHakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Shroom_i]
    #14037656 - 02/27/11 06:51 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

Fungal-one said:
One of my all time shroomery favorites;

A horse walks into a bar. Several people leave when they realize the potential danger of the situation.

:lolsy:




hahaha

what do you tell a woman with two black ey
Quote:

Shroom_i said:
A joke's a joke. I'll tell a black joke in front of a black person, if I feel comfortable, and that they know I'm just joking. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not racist. However I find this:

Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.

The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.

That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.

"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."

"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.

"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"

The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."


FUCKING HILARIOUS.

I think I can come up with a few more later.




LOL


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OfflineDrGuano
Male
Registered: 12/06/08
Posts: 740
Last seen: 2 years, 6 months
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Shroom_i]
    #14037665 - 02/27/11 06:51 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

What would the Flinstones be called if they were black?

....Niggers

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OfflineROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida Flag
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: DrGuano]
    #14037742 - 02/27/11 07:02 PM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Quote:

DrGuano said:
What would the Flinstones be called if they were black?

....Niggers





:lolsy:


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