|
28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper




Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 12,115
Loc: Twin Peaks
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
|
I heard two pretty funny jokes today...
#14032448 - 02/26/11 08:08 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
1. A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The egg is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the chicken is frowning and looking a bit pissed off. The chicken, frowning and unsatisfied, mutters, "Well, I guess we answered THAT question!"
2. The Buddhist student asks the monk, "Can Buddhists email?" The monk responds, "Only if there are no attachments."

Have you heard any good jokes lately?
--------------------
|
Dosile Kouki
derp

Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 28064212] 1
#14032503 - 02/26/11 08:18 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
***racist joke alert****
this one made me laugh the first time i heard it, so please dont take offence , its just a joke.
What is long, black and smelly?
The unemployment line.
and another racist one thats semi-funny.....
Why does Beyonce sing that song ' to the left, to the left ' ?
Because nigga's have no rights.
--------------------
|
4HO-DMT


Registered: 01/11/11
Posts: 5,073
Loc: County Line Road
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 28064212]
#14032515 - 02/26/11 08:20 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
(Say this one with an Irish accent) An American exchange student walks into a pub in Ireland. He pulls up a stool and orders a pint. He says to the Irishman next to him, "I'm not from here could you tell me a little bit about this place?" The Irishman responds, "Do ya see out the window, that bridge over yonder? My Grandfather built that bridge with his bare hands, tilled each stone from the god loving earth and carried them, and placed em' one at a time. His name was Harry and they called him Harry the bridge builder." The American is impressed by this story. The Irishman speaks up again, "Do you see that fence that runs along the hill side over there? My father built that fence with his bare hands. He cut the timber down and cut each board to size. Then he lugged the whole lot up that hill on his back. Do you know what they call him? He is Timothy the fence builder." The American, awed by this story asks the Irishman, "What about you sir, what do they call you?" The Irishman responds, "Well lad, my name is Peter. I fish everyday from sunrise to sunset. I built my boat with my bare hands. But Do you think they call me Peter the fisherman? No they don't because you just fuck one goat!
|
28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper




Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 12,115
Loc: Twin Peaks
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 4HO-DMT]
#14033075 - 02/26/11 09:54 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
physicist said: (Say this one with an Irish accent) An American exchange student walks into a pub in Ireland. He pulls up a stool and orders a pint. He says to the Irishman next to him, "I'm not from here could you tell me a little bit about this place?" The Irishman responds, "Do ya see out the window, that bridge over yonder? My Grandfather built that bridge with his bare hands, tilled each stone from the god loving earth and carried them, and placed em' one at a time. His name was Harry and they called him Harry the bridge builder." The American is impressed by this story. The Irishman speaks up again, "Do you see that fence that runs along the hill side over there? My father built that fence with his bare hands. He cut the timber down and cut each board to size. Then he lugged the whole lot up that hill on his back. Do you know what they call him? He is Timothy the fence builder." The American, awed by this story asks the Irishman, "What about you sir, what do they call you?" The Irishman responds, "Well lad, my name is Peter. I fish everyday from sunrise to sunset. I built my boat with my bare hands. But Do you think they call me Peter the fisherman? No they don't because you just fuck one goat!

But, should the last line be more like: "No! You just fuck one goat and then...!"
Dosile, your were awesome too!
--------------------
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Dosile Kouki]
#14033185 - 02/26/11 10:09 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
DosileFlynn said: ***racist joke alert****
this one made me laugh the first time i heard it, so please dont take offence , its just a joke.
What is long, black and smelly?
The unemployment line.
and another racist one thats semi-funny.....
Why does Beyonce sing that song ' to the left, to the left ' ?
Because nigga's have no rights.

why do black people only have nightmares?
--------------------
|
muistrue
Inspired by the mystery


Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 12,899
Loc: Behind the Redwoods
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 28064212]
#14033204 - 02/26/11 10:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
TWO CHEMISTS MAKING ECSTACY IN A CUSTARD FACTORY.
The police hear of it.
They raid the factory.
The chemists see the fuzz coming ,grab the E and jump into the giant vat of custard where they try to hide. The E dissolves into the custard.
But the police see this .
"Stand still and do not move " shouts the policeman.
"Why ?Why?" Say the chemists.
"Stand still and do not move! " Repeats the policeman
"Why?Why?"Says the chemists
"Because YOU ARE REMANDED IN CUSTARD E" says the policeman!
--------------------
|
The Vapor
Lost In A Tea Daze


Registered: 03/22/10
Posts: 8,433
Loc: Misty Mountains, B.C.
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777] 2
#14033205 - 02/26/11 10:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
RASCIST JOKE:
Why do black men cry during sex?
Because of the mace.
--------------------

|
muistrue
Inspired by the mystery


Registered: 03/20/05
Posts: 12,899
Loc: Behind the Redwoods
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: muistrue]
#14033215 - 02/26/11 10:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Where do you put old worn out psychedelic jokes ??? (like the one I just posted)
IN THE SILLY PSI BIN
--------------------
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14033227 - 02/26/11 10:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Hakim0777 said:
Quote:
DosileFlynn said: ***racist joke alert****
this one made me laugh the first time i heard it, so please dont take offence , its just a joke.
What is long, black and smelly?
The unemployment line.
and another racist one thats semi-funny.....
Why does Beyonce sing that song ' to the left, to the left ' ?
Because nigga's have no rights.

why do black people only have nightmares?
because the last one to have a dream was shot.
--------------------
|
Samuel L Jackson
Bad Motherfucker


Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 8,393
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14033267 - 02/26/11 10:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Hakim0777 said:
Quote:
Hakim0777 said:
Quote:
DosileFlynn said: ***racist joke alert****
this one made me laugh the first time i heard it, so please dont take offence , its just a joke.
What is long, black and smelly?
The unemployment line.
and another racist one thats semi-funny.....
Why does Beyonce sing that song ' to the left, to the left ' ?
Because nigga's have no rights.

why do black people only have nightmares?
because the last one to have a dream was shot.

OH MY GOD AHAHAHAHAHA
--------------------
|
28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper




Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 12,115
Loc: Twin Peaks
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: muistrue]
#14033589 - 02/26/11 11:16 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
FractalDust said: Where do you put old worn out psychedelic jokes ??? (like the one I just posted)
IN THE SILLY PSI BIN
--------------------
|
Epilson Lyrae
Armed with hammers


Registered: 04/07/09
Posts: 5,561
Loc: Woody Creek
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 28064212] 2
#14033631 - 02/26/11 11:22 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Two dyslexics walk into a bra...
-------------------- "Freedom is something that dies unless it's used." H.T. I've come to believe that the heart is the filter of the enlightened mind. Epilson Lyrae
|
Nordique
Habs Suck


Registered: 02/04/11
Posts: 885
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 4HO-DMT]
#14033636 - 02/26/11 11:22 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
physicist said: (Say this one with an Irish accent) An American exchange student walks into a pub in Ireland. He pulls up a stool and orders a pint. He says to the Irishman next to him, "I'm not from here could you tell me a little bit about this place?" The Irishman responds, "Do ya see out the window, that bridge over yonder? My Grandfather built that bridge with his bare hands, tilled each stone from the god loving earth and carried them, and placed em' one at a time. His name was Harry and they called him Harry the bridge builder." The American is impressed by this story. The Irishman speaks up again, "Do you see that fence that runs along the hill side over there? My father built that fence with his bare hands. He cut the timber down and cut each board to size. Then he lugged the whole lot up that hill on his back. Do you know what they call him? He is Timothy the fence builder." The American, awed by this story asks the Irishman, "What about you sir, what do they call you?" The Irishman responds, "Well lad, my name is Peter. I fish everyday from sunrise to sunset. I built my boat with my bare hands. But Do you think they call me Peter the fisherman? No they don't because you just fuck one goat!
Not getting it.
-------------------- It's a trip, it's got a funky beat, and I can BUG OUT to it.
|
destructo_low
Oh yeah!




Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 4,328
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 28064212]
#14033764 - 02/26/11 11:43 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
This isn't really a joke, but the other day my Grandfather poked my Grandmother with a tooth pick and asked her, "Did you get the point"? I though that was pretty funny as corny as it was.
-------------------- There is a molecule for every purpose. There are only actions and reactions. Cut out the middle men. Everything I say is a lie.
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: destructo_low]
#14033770 - 02/26/11 11:44 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
destructo_low said: This isn't really a joke, but the other day my Grandfather poked my Grandmother with a tooth pick and asked her, "Did you get the point"? I though that was pretty funny as corny as it was.
awwww
--------------------
|
28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper




Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 12,115
Loc: Twin Peaks
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14033818 - 02/26/11 11:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
--------------------
|
Natorade
LsDmThC


Registered: 02/18/10
Posts: 1,568
Loc: WI
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: destructo_low]
#14033989 - 02/27/11 12:41 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
destructo_low said: This isn't really a joke, but the other day my Grandfather poked my Grandmother with a tooth pick and asked her, "Did you get the point"? I though that was pretty funny as corny as it was.
bahahaha this kinda shit cracks me up
|
Dosile Kouki
derp

Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14034324 - 02/27/11 03:25 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Hakim0777 said:
Quote:
Hakim0777 said:
Quote:
DosileFlynn said: ***racist joke alert****
this one made me laugh the first time i heard it, so please dont take offence , its just a joke.
What is long, black and smelly?
The unemployment line.
and another racist one thats semi-funny.....
Why does Beyonce sing that song ' to the left, to the left ' ?
Because nigga's have no rights.

why do black people only have nightmares?
because the last one to have a dream was shot.

haha
But really i'm not racist, a joke is a joke, i mean no offence to anyone.
--------------------
|
Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*



Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Dosile Kouki] 1
#14034326 - 02/27/11 03:26 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What do you call a horny turtle?
A slow poke
|
propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶



Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
#14034331 - 02/27/11 03:33 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Here have some more racist jokes:
What was missing from the million man march?
About a thousand miles of chain and an auctioneer
What do you call a black woman who got an abortion?
A crimefighter.
--------------------
۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ ̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆
|
Brugman
antisobrietarian



Registered: 05/16/01
Posts: 15,887
Loc: the land up over
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: propensity]
#14034348 - 02/27/11 03:46 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes!
|
13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 28064212]
#14034356 - 02/27/11 03:50 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Ricky Gervais is awesome!
Another racist joke, simple well-known and effective:
A black guy, a jew and a chinese fellow walk into a bar.
The barman says: get out!
Someone post some white-man racist jokes till this doesn't get the
--------------------
Not to be taken seriously by any means!
|
mellowparty
legitimate researcher


Registered: 05/17/09
Posts: 18,467
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: muistrue]
#14034432 - 02/27/11 04:40 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
FractalDust said: Where do you put old worn out psychedelic jokes ??? (like the one I just posted)
IN THE SILLY PSI BIN
more psychedelic jokes
|
JT


Registered: 02/28/07
Posts: 7,027
Loc: athens
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: mellowparty] 1
#14034657 - 02/27/11 07:22 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
A cabbie in new york really hates black kids. In fact, he hits them with his car whenever he can. One day as he's driving he picks up a priest. He gets nervous because he's catholic, but as he approaches an elementary school crosswalk he can hardly restrain himself. Dead ahead, a group of black children has just gotten out and are crossing the street. Palms sweating, he thinks, "what do I do? What do I do?" He wants to hit them, but not if it means getting sent to hell by this priest. He barrels down the street at the children, but at the last second he swerves out of the way. To his horror, he hears a loud THWACK! He turns around to face the priest and apologizes. "8'm so sorry father, I didn't see them!"
"Don't worry," the priest replies, "I got them with the door."
|
Eshu
Sean.



Registered: 06/27/10
Posts: 2,139
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: JT]
#14034670 - 02/27/11 07:35 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Why do blacks have white palms? There's a little good in everybody!
--------------------
  ~^*>~.Life is the hyphen between matter and spirit.~^*>~
|
Rocker232
Stranger


Registered: 10/17/08
Posts: 6,631
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Eshu]
#14034709 - 02/27/11 07:50 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
The absolute worst racist joke is...
What does the NAACP stand for? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Now Apes Are Called People.
Absolutely terrible. Gonna go hang myself.
--------------------
With Allure I Look to the Sky With Awakened Eyes
|
CidneyIndole
www.shroomery.OG



Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 4,761
Loc: Love's Secret Domain
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Rocker232] 2
#14035015 - 02/27/11 09:56 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
My bro just told me this one as I read him the thread:
An irish guy walks out of a bar...
hey, it could happen...
-------------------- ------------------------ I am me. We are You.
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: CidneyIndole] 2
#14035072 - 02/27/11 10:16 AM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What happens when a jew with a hard on runs into a wall?
He breaks his nose!
--------------------
|
Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 4 days, 22 hours
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Brugman]
#14035680 - 02/27/11 12:19 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Brugman said: The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! 
Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Lion]
#14035811 - 02/27/11 12:50 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
Brugman said: The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! 
Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...
Chill out man. You can be accepting of something and still joke about it. This is an instance where im happily eating my cake and having it too.
--------------------
|
Samuel L Jackson
Bad Motherfucker


Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 8,393
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Lion] 1
#14035849 - 02/27/11 01:00 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
Brugman said: The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! 
Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...
i heard only racists know 'black jokes'....
get real.
why do black people small so bad?
so blind people can hate them too
--------------------
|
sunset_mission
Entheonaut



Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 5,767
Loc: NYC (Intra Deitate...)
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
|
|
Why is Ray Charles always smiling?
Because he doesn't know he's black.
How do you stop a group of black people from hanging out in your front yard?
You hang them in the back.
How do you blindfold an asian?
With dental floss.
Why don't you run over a black person on a bike?
It might be your bike.
How many Jews can you fit in a car?
2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 5 million in the ashtray.
|
sunset_mission
Entheonaut



Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 5,767
Loc: NYC (Intra Deitate...)
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14035927 - 02/27/11 01:12 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
One day a Jewish man was walking past a statue of Hitler. He looked at it and spit at it.
A German man walking by sees this and asks, "Why did you do that?"
The Jewish man replies, "Because he killed half of my people!!"
The German guy turns around and spits at the statue of Hitler.
The Jew asks, "Why did YOU do that?"
To which the German man replies, "Because he didn't finish the job!"
|
Apu
Nahasapeemapetilon


Registered: 02/02/11
Posts: 173
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14035954 - 02/27/11 01:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
a guy walked into a bar.. and said ouch
|
PoopSoap
Genetically Modified Organism

Registered: 01/24/09
Posts: 603
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14035977 - 02/27/11 01:21 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
guess i'll contribute to the racist jokes
what's the most confusing day in harlem? fathers day
whats the difference between a jew a pizza? pizzas don't scream when you put them in the oven
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14036004 - 02/27/11 01:27 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
sunset_mission said: One day a Jewish man was walking past a statue of Hitler. He looked at it and spit at it.
A German man walking by sees this and asks, "Why did you do that?"
The Jewish man replies, "Because he killed half of my people!!"
The German guy turns around and spits at the statue of Hitler.
The Jew asks, "Why did YOU do that?"
To which the German man replies, "Because he didn't finish the job!"
--------------------
|
CidneyIndole
www.shroomery.OG



Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 4,761
Loc: Love's Secret Domain
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14036239 - 02/27/11 02:09 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
Brugman said: The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! 
Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...
Sadly, I do agree with this statement.
On the other hand, I don't find most "racist" jokes to be all that racist (in a mean-spirited kind of way). If you go to KKK or skinhead type websites, you can see the type of genuinely mean-spirited jokes I mean.
I've had black friends (IRL) who were comfortable enough with me to tell black jokes in their presence. I think if its in the spirit of a joke and not in the spirit of spite or meanness, what's the harm?
-------------------- ------------------------ I am me. We are You.
|
realfuzzhead



Registered: 03/03/10
Posts: 10,783
Loc: above the smog layer
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: CidneyIndole]
#14036448 - 02/27/11 02:55 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
so this mexican, black and white guy are walking down the street, suddenly a geenie appears to them, and says he will grant each of them one wish the black guy says "i want me and all the other african americans back in africa"
and they were all back in africa
mexican guy says " i wish me and all my mexicans were all back in mexico!" and so all the mexicans were back in mexico
the white guy says "so you mean to tell me that all the black and mexican people are out of the U.S??"" geenie-"yes"
white guy"cool then ill have a coke""
|
sunset_mission
Entheonaut



Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 5,767
Loc: NYC (Intra Deitate...)
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: realfuzzhead]
#14036512 - 02/27/11 03:12 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
A black guy, a spanish guy and an asian guy are in a car that drives off a cliff. What happens next?
Who cares?
What runs faster than a black guy running with your TV?
His best friend with your VCR.
What do you call a black guy racing a white guy down the street?
An episode of COPS.
Edited by sunset_mission (02/27/11 03:13 PM)
|
chronicdruid
Stranger

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 112
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14036601 - 02/27/11 03:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What did the chainsaw say to the black man?
Run nigga nigga niggggaaa nigaaaaaaar runrunrun niggga niga niga niga!
|
roombird
mescaline



Registered: 01/18/11
Posts: 932
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: chronicdruid]
#14036676 - 02/27/11 03:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
i got one kinda short and sweet
a baby seal walked into a club
-------------------- Good people drink good beer-Hunter S. Thompson
WE Are the Music Makers and WE Are the Dreamers of Dreams no one truly goes insane; for we all are already. normality to us, is insanity to society.
|
Samuel L Jackson
Bad Motherfucker


Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 8,393
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: roombird]
#14036711 - 02/27/11 03:56 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
what do you call 3 chinese guys, a mexican, and 5 black people all lined up on a wall?
a sprinkler!
chink chink chink, spick, niggy niggy niggy niggy niggy

--------------------
|
sunset_mission
Entheonaut



Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 5,767
Loc: NYC (Intra Deitate...)
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
|
|
Didn't see that one coming.
|
LobsterSauce


Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 19,884
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14036776 - 02/27/11 04:08 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What do you call a black man in a tree?
A branch manager.
How do you hide a black man in a coal shed?
Kick his teeth in.
That last one is brutal
|
ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: LobsterSauce]
#14036827 - 02/27/11 04:19 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What's black, smelly, poor, stupid, and ugly?
A nigger.
--------------------
|
chronicdruid
Stranger

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 112
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: ROFL_my_ WAFFLE]
#14037354 - 02/27/11 05:58 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
lol SamuelLJacksons's joke + rep
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: LobsterSauce]
#14037356 - 02/27/11 05:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Jimtown said: What do you call a black man in a tree?
A branch manager.
How do you hide a black man in a coal shed?
Kick his teeth in.
That last one is brutal
holy shit dude.
--------------------
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14037362 - 02/27/11 06:00 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What do you call a successful black lawyer?
Nigger.
--------------------
|
ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14037379 - 02/27/11 06:02 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What do you call someone who posts pictures of micropenises?
Nigger.
--------------------
|
Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 4 days, 22 hours
|
|
Quote:
SamuelLJackson said:
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
Brugman said: The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! 
Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...
i heard only racists know 'black jokes'....
get real.
I call it like I see it. These jokes aren't funny to me, and I bet most of the people posting them wouldn't say them around a black person, which makes posting them anonymously on the Internet in my opinion kind of an unhealthy thing to engage in. After all the Shroomery is like 95% young white males.
Look up some old racist advertisements, there are tons to be found on the web. You'll surprised by the dehumanizing stuff you'll see, and how similar they are in content to these innocent "jokes". Sorry to ruin the mood for people who are sharing jokes that actually involve wit!
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Lion]
#14037433 - 02/27/11 06:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
SamuelLJackson said:
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
Brugman said: The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! 
Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...
i heard only racists know 'black jokes'....
get real.
I call it like I see it. These jokes aren't funny to me, and I bet most of the people posting them wouldn't say them around a black person, which makes posting them anonymously on the Internet in my opinion kind of an unhealthy thing to engage in. After all the Shroomery is like 95% young white males.
Look up some old racist advertisements, there are tons to be found on the web. You'll surprised by the dehumanizing stuff you'll see, and how similar they are in content to these innocent "jokes". Sorry to ruin the mood for people who are sharing jokes that actually involve wit!
shut up whiteboy!
--------------------
|
Fungal-one
Kneegrow



Registered: 07/14/10
Posts: 5,356
Loc: No fuckin tellin
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14037439 - 02/27/11 06:11 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
These truckers are hauling a load of black bowling balls when they are flagged down by two black kids pushing a bicycle. They stopped and asked the kids what was wrong. The one kids says that their tire is flat and they really need a ride. Not wanting to do it the man's pity wins him over. He tells the kids to get in the back of the truck and not make a sound.
Several miles down the road they have to be weighed. They pull into the weigh station and answer all the normal questions. While talking to the one attendant the other attendant walks around back of the truck and opens the door. Immediately the doors slams shut and the man runs around to the drivers window and says ' Get the fuck out of here, dont stop just keep going and do it now!'
With a wtf look on his face his coworker says 'what the fuck was that all about?' Still out of breath the guy says 'they had a whole truck load of nigger eggs and two of em done hatched and stole a bicycle!'
-------------------- Never judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. But, by that time you're a mile away and you got his shoes, so fuck em.
|
28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper




Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 12,115
Loc: Twin Peaks
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Fungal-one]
#14037451 - 02/27/11 06:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Two weasels are in a bar drinking, they’ve had a few drinks and are starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. One turns to the other and slurs, “I fucked your mother.” The second weasel makes no reply and so the first weasel slurs again, more loudly this time, “I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!” The whole bar turns to watch what will certainly be a big fight. The second weasel says, “Shut up Dad, you’re drunk”
--------------------
|
sunset_mission
Entheonaut



Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 5,767
Loc: NYC (Intra Deitate...)
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Fungal-one]
#14037456 - 02/27/11 06:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What's the useless skin around a vagina called?
A woman.
What was the greatest joke ever told?
Women's rights.
|
ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14037464 - 02/27/11 06:16 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A Jew with a coupon.
--------------------
|
Fungal-one
Kneegrow



Registered: 07/14/10
Posts: 5,356
Loc: No fuckin tellin
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 28064212] 1
#14037473 - 02/27/11 06:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
One of my all time shroomery favorites;
A horse walks into a bar. Several people leave when they realize the potential danger of the situation.
-------------------- Never judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. But, by that time you're a mile away and you got his shoes, so fuck em.
|
Shroom_i
Gatherer




Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 868
Loc: Zone Six (6)
Last seen: 7 years, 6 days
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Fungal-one]
#14037589 - 02/27/11 06:38 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
A joke's a joke. I'll tell a black joke in front of a black person, if I feel comfortable, and that they know I'm just joking. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not racist. However I find this:
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
FUCKING HILARIOUS.
I think I can come up with a few more later.
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: [quote]destructo_low said: Prisoner's posts by percentage. Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044% Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956% [/quote] worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]
|
Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Shroom_i]
#14037656 - 02/27/11 06:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Fungal-one said: One of my all time shroomery favorites;
A horse walks into a bar. Several people leave when they realize the potential danger of the situation.

hahaha
what do you tell a woman with two black ey
Quote:
Shroom_i said: A joke's a joke. I'll tell a black joke in front of a black person, if I feel comfortable, and that they know I'm just joking. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not racist. However I find this:
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
FUCKING HILARIOUS.
I think I can come up with a few more later.
LOL
--------------------
|
DrGuano

Registered: 12/06/08
Posts: 740
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Shroom_i]
#14037665 - 02/27/11 06:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
What would the Flinstones be called if they were black?
....Niggers
|
ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: DrGuano]
#14037742 - 02/27/11 07:02 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
DrGuano said: What would the Flinstones be called if they were black?
....Niggers
--------------------
|
Samuel L Jackson
Bad Motherfucker


Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 8,393
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14037773 - 02/27/11 07:09 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Hakim0777 said: what do you tell a woman with two black eyes
nothing, you already told her twice.
--------------------
|
sunset_mission
Entheonaut



Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 5,767
Loc: NYC (Intra Deitate...)
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: ROFL_my_ WAFFLE]
#14037799 - 02/27/11 07:13 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
ROFL_my_ WAFFLE said:
Quote:
DrGuano said: What would the Flinstones be called if they were black?
....Niggers


How do you make a Jew go crazy?
Put him in a circular room and tell him there's a penny in the corner.
Edited by sunset_mission (02/27/11 07:14 PM)
|
Eshu
Sean.



Registered: 06/27/10
Posts: 2,139
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14038629 - 02/27/11 09:01 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
sunset_mission said: What's the useless skin around a vagina called?
A woman.
What was the greatest joke ever told?
Women's rights.
--------------------
  ~^*>~.Life is the hyphen between matter and spirit.~^*>~
|
FlusH
Random person on Internet


Registered: 10/23/01
Posts: 2,910
Loc: Bizzaro World
Last seen: 17 days, 11 hours
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Eshu]
#14039044 - 02/27/11 09:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Why don't jew's eat pussy?
-Because its too close to the gas chamber
--------------------
Edited by FlusH (02/27/11 09:53 PM)
|
propensity
۞̷ ̶۞̷ ̶



Registered: 01/06/10
Posts: 11,056
Loc: Bedrock America
Last seen: 3 years, 6 months
|
Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Lion]
#14039802 - 02/27/11 11:47 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
SamuelLJackson said:
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
Brugman said: The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! 
Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...
i heard only racists know 'black jokes'....
get real.
I call it like I see it. These jokes aren't funny to me, and I bet most of the people posting them wouldn't say them around a black person, which makes posting them anonymously on the Internet in my opinion kind of an unhealthy thing to engage in. After all the Shroomery is like 95% young white males.
Look up some old racist advertisements, there are tons to be found on the web. You'll surprised by the dehumanizing stuff you'll see, and how similar they are in content to these innocent "jokes". Sorry to ruin the mood for people who are sharing jokes that actually involve wit!
3 of my best friends are black. I hang out with them on a daily basis. I am jokingly racist with them all the time.
I've told them the jokes I posted.
--------------------
۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ www.cactophage.com ۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟͢ ̸ۨ͜۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆ͯ̑͘ ̶̖̭ͧ͛ͬ͑ͣͦ̍ͧ͐͟Dolphins of Dank۞̷̛̗̗͉͇̰̅͒ͯͩ̆
|
|