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roombird
mescaline



Registered: 01/18/11
Posts: 932
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: chronicdruid]
#14036676 - 02/27/11 03:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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i got one kinda short and sweet
a baby seal walked into a club
-------------------- Good people drink good beer-Hunter S. Thompson
WE Are the Music Makers and WE Are the Dreamers of Dreams no one truly goes insane; for we all are already. normality to us, is insanity to society.
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Samuel L Jackson
Bad Motherfucker


Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 8,393
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: roombird]
#14036711 - 02/27/11 03:56 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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what do you call 3 chinese guys, a mexican, and 5 black people all lined up on a wall?
a sprinkler!
chink chink chink, spick, niggy niggy niggy niggy niggy

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sunset_mission
Entheonaut



Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 5,767
Loc: NYC (Intra Deitate...)
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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Didn't see that one coming.
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LobsterSauce


Registered: 11/09/08
Posts: 19,884
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14036776 - 02/27/11 04:08 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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What do you call a black man in a tree?
A branch manager.
How do you hide a black man in a coal shed?
Kick his teeth in.
That last one is brutal
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ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: LobsterSauce]
#14036827 - 02/27/11 04:19 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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What's black, smelly, poor, stupid, and ugly?
A nigger.
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chronicdruid
Stranger

Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 112
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: ROFL_my_ WAFFLE]
#14037354 - 02/27/11 05:58 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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lol SamuelLJacksons's joke + rep
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Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: LobsterSauce]
#14037356 - 02/27/11 05:59 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Jimtown said: What do you call a black man in a tree?
A branch manager.
How do you hide a black man in a coal shed?
Kick his teeth in.
That last one is brutal
holy shit dude.
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Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14037362 - 02/27/11 06:00 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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What do you call a successful black lawyer?
Nigger.
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ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14037379 - 02/27/11 06:02 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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What do you call someone who posts pictures of micropenises?
Nigger.
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Lion
Decadent Flower Magnate


Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 8,775
Last seen: 4 days, 20 hours
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Quote:
SamuelLJackson said:
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
Brugman said: The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! 
Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...
i heard only racists know 'black jokes'....
get real.
I call it like I see it. These jokes aren't funny to me, and I bet most of the people posting them wouldn't say them around a black person, which makes posting them anonymously on the Internet in my opinion kind of an unhealthy thing to engage in. After all the Shroomery is like 95% young white males.
Look up some old racist advertisements, there are tons to be found on the web. You'll surprised by the dehumanizing stuff you'll see, and how similar they are in content to these innocent "jokes". Sorry to ruin the mood for people who are sharing jokes that actually involve wit!
-------------------- “Strengthened by contemplation and study, I will not fear my passions like a coward. My body I will give to pleasures, to diversions that I’ve dreamed of, to the most daring erotic desires, to the lustful impulses of my blood, without any fear at all, for whenever I will— and I will have the will, strengthened as I’ll be with contemplation and study— at the crucial moments I’ll recover my spirit as was before: ascetic.”
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Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Lion]
#14037433 - 02/27/11 06:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
SamuelLJackson said:
Quote:
Lion said:
Quote:
Brugman said: The Shroomery shows it's true colors today with all the racist jokes! 
Yeah, there is as much bigotry here as anywhere on the Int3rw3bz, for all the talk of open-mindedness and acceptance of alternative lifestyles...
i heard only racists know 'black jokes'....
get real.
I call it like I see it. These jokes aren't funny to me, and I bet most of the people posting them wouldn't say them around a black person, which makes posting them anonymously on the Internet in my opinion kind of an unhealthy thing to engage in. After all the Shroomery is like 95% young white males.
Look up some old racist advertisements, there are tons to be found on the web. You'll surprised by the dehumanizing stuff you'll see, and how similar they are in content to these innocent "jokes". Sorry to ruin the mood for people who are sharing jokes that actually involve wit!
shut up whiteboy!
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Fungal-one
Kneegrow



Registered: 07/14/10
Posts: 5,356
Loc: No fuckin tellin
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Hakim0777]
#14037439 - 02/27/11 06:11 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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These truckers are hauling a load of black bowling balls when they are flagged down by two black kids pushing a bicycle. They stopped and asked the kids what was wrong. The one kids says that their tire is flat and they really need a ride. Not wanting to do it the man's pity wins him over. He tells the kids to get in the back of the truck and not make a sound.
Several miles down the road they have to be weighed. They pull into the weigh station and answer all the normal questions. While talking to the one attendant the other attendant walks around back of the truck and opens the door. Immediately the doors slams shut and the man runs around to the drivers window and says ' Get the fuck out of here, dont stop just keep going and do it now!'
With a wtf look on his face his coworker says 'what the fuck was that all about?' Still out of breath the guy says 'they had a whole truck load of nigger eggs and two of em done hatched and stole a bicycle!'
-------------------- Never judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. But, by that time you're a mile away and you got his shoes, so fuck em.
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28064212
Special Agent Dale Cooper




Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 12,115
Loc: Twin Peaks
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Fungal-one]
#14037451 - 02/27/11 06:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Two weasels are in a bar drinking, they’ve had a few drinks and are starting to feel the effects of the alcohol. One turns to the other and slurs, “I fucked your mother.” The second weasel makes no reply and so the first weasel slurs again, more loudly this time, “I FUCKED YOUR MOTHER!” The whole bar turns to watch what will certainly be a big fight. The second weasel says, “Shut up Dad, you’re drunk”
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sunset_mission
Entheonaut



Registered: 01/22/11
Posts: 5,767
Loc: NYC (Intra Deitate...)
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Fungal-one]
#14037456 - 02/27/11 06:15 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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What's the useless skin around a vagina called?
A woman.
What was the greatest joke ever told?
Women's rights.
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ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: sunset_mission]
#14037464 - 02/27/11 06:16 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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What's faster than a speeding bullet?
A Jew with a coupon.
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Fungal-one
Kneegrow



Registered: 07/14/10
Posts: 5,356
Loc: No fuckin tellin
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: 28064212] 1
#14037473 - 02/27/11 06:17 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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One of my all time shroomery favorites;
A horse walks into a bar. Several people leave when they realize the potential danger of the situation.
-------------------- Never judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. But, by that time you're a mile away and you got his shoes, so fuck em.
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Shroom_i
Gatherer




Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 868
Loc: Zone Six (6)
Last seen: 7 years, 6 days
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Fungal-one]
#14037589 - 02/27/11 06:38 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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A joke's a joke. I'll tell a black joke in front of a black person, if I feel comfortable, and that they know I'm just joking. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not racist. However I find this:
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
FUCKING HILARIOUS.
I think I can come up with a few more later.
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: [quote]destructo_low said: Prisoner's posts by percentage. Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044% Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956% [/quote] worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]
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Hakim0777
aka RACKBONE!!!




Registered: 08/25/06
Posts: 8,071
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Shroom_i]
#14037656 - 02/27/11 06:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Fungal-one said: One of my all time shroomery favorites;
A horse walks into a bar. Several people leave when they realize the potential danger of the situation.

hahaha
what do you tell a woman with two black ey
Quote:
Shroom_i said: A joke's a joke. I'll tell a black joke in front of a black person, if I feel comfortable, and that they know I'm just joking. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not racist. However I find this:
Three third-graders, a Jew, an Italian, and an African American are on the playground at recess. The Jewish kid suggests that they play a new game. "Let's see who has the largest dick," he says. "Okay," they all agree.
The Jewish kid pulls down his zipper and whips it out. "That's nothing," says the Italian kid. He whips his out. His is a couple of inches longer. Not to be outdone, the African American whips his out. It is far the biggest, dwarfing the other two in both length and width. The Jewish and Italian kid are stunned and amazed. "Wow, that thing is huge!" they exclaim.
That night, eating dinner at home, the African American's mother asks him what he did at school today.
"Oh, we worked on a science project, had a math test and read out loud from a new book ...and during recess, my friends and I played "Let's see who has the largest dick."
"What kind of game is that, honey?" says the mother.
"Well, me, Sidney and Anthony each pulled out our penises, and I had the biggest! The other kids say its because I'm black. Is that true, Mom?"
The mom replies: "No, honey. It's because you're twenty-three."
FUCKING HILARIOUS.
I think I can come up with a few more later.
LOL
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DrGuano

Registered: 12/06/08
Posts: 740
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: Shroom_i]
#14037665 - 02/27/11 06:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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What would the Flinstones be called if they were black?
....Niggers
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ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
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Re: I heard two pretty funny jokes today... [Re: DrGuano]
#14037742 - 02/27/11 07:02 PM (12 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
DrGuano said: What would the Flinstones be called if they were black?
....Niggers
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