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OfflineCynosure
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Registered: 10/06/09
Posts: 4,228
Last seen: 1 year, 20 days
2-year relationship, gone.
    #14015785 - 02/23/11 07:12 PM (13 years, 9 days ago)

The girlie found a Youtube video in her bookmarks that I was looking at a week ago (oddly, it was a relevant video matched with Terence McKenna).  It was a video making fun of women (the kitchen jokes).  Of course, I laughed at the video when I saw it.  Shit's humorous.  Well, when she found it she blew a gasket.  She didn't know that I was into oppressing women (I'm not at all.. the quite opposite, actually).

Long story short, she was yelling at me for a while.  I kept trying to explain that she's going a bit overboard as she (at least I thought) should know more than anyone that I am for just about every group/religion/what-have-you there is (I'm not perfect).  However, no matter how many times I said "it's not true" or "I don't think women are lesser" she came back with some ridiculous comment about how she "didn't know that about me".

She suggested that we take a break.

She's been saying hurtful things since the start of the relationship, "this relationship is not going to work" or "I'm tired of this".  She's broken up with me twice and we've now been on two breaks (this is the 'third').  She's been quite controlling throughout the relationship, but that also brightened up a tad after many, many talks.  I put up with them as it has been happening less and less but it has never made me super confident in this relationship.  The last couple of months she has said things like this quite often.  I let her know that the next time she said something of the sort that I would be the one to end the relationship because I don't need/want to be controlled and I don't want to deal with the emotional damage from her words.

Either she didn't believe me or doesn't care.

We've been through a lot.. and I love her immensely.  I just can't see myself getting back together with her after all of this torment and another break.  I let her know this and the whole "Facebook break-up" thing started.

Uhg.

Anyways, I guess I'm just venting here a bit to help take some of the load off.

:shrug:

I hope I can bounce back from this well enough to lead a healthy life.

I'll always have you, Shroomerites.
:heart:
:shroomeryhead:


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"You can peel it [language] off the ceiling and make it dance in front of you" - McKenna

<3 .

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InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: Cynosure] * 2
    #14015809 - 02/23/11 07:16 PM (13 years, 9 days ago)

I say good riddance man. She sounds nutty

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Offlinehesus321
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Registered: 05/12/09
Posts: 250
Loc: Iceland
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #14015832 - 02/23/11 07:20 PM (13 years, 9 days ago)

Sounds like the Ron/Sam relationship from jersey shore. They always say the love each other but fight and bitch every episode. lol


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[quote]destructo_low said:
February fourth will be my one year anniversary of having my dick pierced. This will be interesting if your prediction plays out. :strokebeard:[/quote]


[quote]c1dh3d said:
If I had known that saying Needlepoint would make all you women ovulate at once, I would have just said acid,[/quote]

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OfflineCynosure
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Registered: 10/06/09
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: hesus321]
    #14015866 - 02/23/11 07:26 PM (13 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

I_was_the_walrus said:
I say good riddance man. She sounds nutty




:lol:

Quote:

hesus321 said:
Sounds like the Ron/Sam relationship from jersey shore. They always say the love each other but fight and bitch every episode. lol




Unfortunately, in this case, I didn't often bitch back.  I spent more time defending my own opinions, choices, and moral standards while getting bitched at.

I feel that I've changed myself a lot in order to keep the kindle burning but don't feel there was an equal effort on her part.  This is half of the reason I'm not comfortable going back in.


--------------------
"You can peel it [language] off the ceiling and make it dance in front of you" - McKenna

<3 .

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InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: Cynosure]
    #14015906 - 02/23/11 07:34 PM (13 years, 9 days ago)

You shouldnt have to apologise for who you are. You should be with someone who loves everything about you, no matter what.

Fucking internet videos? Really? She needs to grow up.

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Offlinedummy
I am you and what I see is me


Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,973
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: I_was_the_walrus] * 1
    #14016147 - 02/23/11 08:20 PM (13 years, 9 days ago)

sounds like she used the whole video thing as an excuse to yell at you. i suggest you delete this woman's # and don't look back.


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People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.

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Offline2Cents
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: dummy]
    #14016230 - 02/23/11 08:34 PM (13 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

dummy said:
sounds like she used the whole video thing as an excuse to yell at you. i suggest you delete this woman's # and don't look back.




--------------------
Long live the Shroomery!!!

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Offlinemr.711
thats whats up
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Registered: 06/06/10
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: Cynosure]
    #14017058 - 02/23/11 10:48 PM (13 years, 9 days ago)

Yea, she sounds a bit immature if she got made over a fucking video.

:seriousbusiness:

Unless she grows up and matures, I'd move on.

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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: mr.711]
    #14018335 - 02/24/11 05:17 AM (13 years, 9 days ago)

Dude, she's got issues. Don't become the victim of her own mental unbalance. A clear cut seems painful, but will prove the cleanest in the long run.

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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Posts: 14,327
Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: koraks]
    #14018633 - 02/24/11 07:48 AM (13 years, 9 days ago)

Quote:

Cynosure said:
Quote:

I_was_the_walrus said:
I say good riddance man. She sounds nutty




:lol:

Quote:

hesus321 said:
Sounds like the Ron/Sam relationship from jersey shore. They always say the love each other but fight and bitch every episode. lol




Unfortunately, in this case, I didn't often bitch back.  I spent more time defending my own opinions, choices, and moral standards while getting bitched at.

I feel that I've changed myself a lot in order to keep the kindle burning but don't feel there was an equal effort on her part.  This is half of the reason I'm not comfortable going back in.




Quote:

koraks said:
Dude, she's got issues. Don't become the victim of her own mental unbalance. A clear cut seems painful, but will prove the cleanest in the long run.




I used to be in a relationship like this. Its better to get out even though it hurts. You will look back and be glad.

Word of advice: Cut off all contact. Don't stay friends.

:mushroom2:


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
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Edited by Cyclohexylamine (02/24/11 07:49 AM)

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Offlinejacobensis
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Registered: 01/15/11
Posts: 318
Loc: comunist/socialist/ usa Flag
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #14018652 - 02/24/11 08:00 AM (13 years, 9 days ago)

were you in the vidio naked? other wise it was an excuse for her to break up, i was with a bitch like that- most of the time she tried to break up with me after give`n her my pay check. if you have to change ANYTHING about YOURSELF to be with a woman FUCK HER right in her STINKY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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There are 2 types of people, mycophobes and mycophiles R.Wasson

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OfflineHumility
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Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
Last seen: 7 years, 10 days
Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: dummy]
    #14022398 - 02/24/11 08:48 PM (13 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

dummy said:
sounds like she used the whole video thing as an excuse to yell at you. i suggest you delete this woman's # and don't look back.




--------------------

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OfflineLennyk
D-O-L-E Dole
Male

Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 2,385
Loc: Near the Ground
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: Humility]
    #14022441 - 02/24/11 09:00 PM (13 years, 8 days ago)

i always wonder if women/men are all nuts, or if like mentioned above they 'snap' because they don't have the guts to just peacefully move on or if they are cheating or something.

People are nutty, but those nuts must settle or just find someone as crazy as they are.


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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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OfflineCynosure
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Registered: 10/06/09
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: jacobensis]
    #14022772 - 02/24/11 10:03 PM (13 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

jacobensis said:
were you in the vidio naked?




It would have made more sense then, right?!  Haha.



None of this situation makes sense to me.  This morning she texted me saying that she no longer wants to be on break and wants me to talk to her.  We talked a bit, but ended up arguing a lot.  I told her everything I feel that she did wrong, she did the same (but while looping in circles and saying the same things over and over).  She wants to "put it behind" and I let her know that I'm not willing to do that.  I'm now back at the silent treatment and being the bad guy for not coming to comfort her.

My final stance was that I will see her in 3 weeks (after Spring break) and we can sit down to have a talk.  I did this because one week doesn't give me ample time to think things over, and two out of spite (hey, I said I'm not perfect) because she was so set on the break, went through and tore up Facebook, and talked to all of her friends about it but in the end couldn't even follow through with a day of not talking to me.  I feel three weeks should give me ample time to think about how I want to lead the rest of my life.

After this time I've also decided that I'm going to delete my Facebook account.  Haha, shit's more trouble than it's worth.

Either way this situation :feelsbadman:.  I don't want to have to live without her, but I still think it's best for my well being. :shrug:

Thanks for all of your input.  My brain's agreeing with most of you.

Much love,
:heart:


--------------------
"You can peel it [language] off the ceiling and make it dance in front of you" - McKenna

<3 .

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InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: Cynosure] * 1
    #14022927 - 02/24/11 10:32 PM (13 years, 8 days ago)

Her 3rd time breaking it with you...and already she wants you back? How many more times man? She appears to be irrational, and acts before she thinks about your feelings.

Quote:

  I don't want to have to live without her, but I still think it's best for my well being.






Dont let your emotions fog your logical thinking. Nobody wants to be alone, but you need to do whats best for you. Dont torture yourself...

Edited by I_was_the_walrus (02/24/11 10:41 PM)

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InvisibleCyclohexylamine
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Registered: 09/08/10
Posts: 14,327
Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #14023902 - 02/25/11 03:18 AM (13 years, 8 days ago)

Quote:

I_was_the_walrus said:
Her 3rd time breaking it with you...and already she wants you back? How many more times man? She appears to be irrational, and acts before she thinks about your feelings.

Quote:

  I don't want to have to live without her, but I still think it's best for my well being.






Dont let your emotions fog your logical thinking. Nobody wants to be alone, but you need to do whats best for you. Dont torture y
ourself...




Again sounds just like a past relationship. She did the same thing. Break up with me change facebook everything and then a few days later come back.
Just walk away and don't look back. It hurts now and it will hurt for a long time but it is worth it in the end.


--------------------
Yes this is tymo - I just changed my name

Have you ever had a dream that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to awake from that dream? How would you know the difference between that dream world and the real world?


There is NOTHING better than feeling that warm dissociative fuzz creeping up your body from IM K
Something abut that anaesthetic rush... :inlove:

Qualitative Research Chemical Effects and Experiences
The Wonderful World of Methoxetamine
The 3-Meo-PCP Chapters, Part One

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Anonymous #1

Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: Cyclohexylamine]
    #14025399 - 02/25/11 01:01 PM (13 years, 8 days ago)

Been there before, just keep in mind that such people tend to do something stupid when they do not get the attention they desire. If she'll be very very angry at you and you don't talk to her she will eventually talk to someone else, get drunk and will hook up with someone.

Can you post the link to the video please?

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Offlinemisos
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #14027434 - 02/25/11 08:27 PM (13 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

I_was_the_walrus said:
I say good riddance man. She sounds nutty




I have come to the realization that ALL BITCHES ARE CRAZY. Or as my bro says, "bitches be crazy". Some are good at controlling it and or hiding it, some aren't. But one thing is for certain, they are ALL effed in the head. My guess is the horomones.


--------------------
"If I had a single wish, I would have every single human on this planet see this natural world the way I see it; the beauty in such simple things such as a fallen tree that is covered in moss and that has new trees growing from it. To some, fallen trees are ugly. But in reality, it is the circle of life at its finest. This is a beautiful world, its time that we recognize that before its all gone."

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OfflineCynosure
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Registered: 10/06/09
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Re: 2-year relationship, gone. [Re: misos]
    #14029887 - 02/26/11 11:09 AM (13 years, 7 days ago)

She was feeling really down after hearing all of what I had to say.  I went over last night and we made dinner together and had a pretty good night.  I know this could have been a pretty bad decision, but I do love her and have let her know that I would always be there when she needed me.

We discussed how this break is going to work and what is going to happen at the end.  I let her know that I'd still like the break to be in effect for at least a week but am expecting it to go beyond Spring break in order for me to figure out whether or not I want to stay in this relationship.  At first she agreed that this was okay, however later she expressed that she didn't want the break anymore.

She was pretty downed about me "not knowing whether or not I want to be in the relationship".  I did my best to confirm that I do love her and want to be in the relationship but am unsure about whether or not it's the right thing for me at this point in my life.

The break should now be "officially in affect".  We have agreed to keep texting at minimal contact with no physical or verbal contact until the end.  At this time, we will have a talk and discuss what it is that we want to happen and where we want to go with the relationship. 

She suggested that we should go back to a therapist that we saw (one that we saw only twice together, and that I saw ~10 times by myself prior because she refused to go).  I'm not sure how I feel about this.  Her excuse was that we haven't had enough meetings together in order to help guide her behavior; but, I feel that I gave her a chance to do this and am not 100% certain that I even want to go back to this therapist.  I feel that my actions and behavior are right where I want them to be.

I probably won't post here again until near the end of the break when I have had time to really think about it (as up until this point I've had no time at all still).

I thank you guys for all of your input.

:thumbup:


--------------------
"You can peel it [language] off the ceiling and make it dance in front of you" - McKenna

<3 .

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