So I tried Salvia last night at a party, admittedly a terrible environment now that I've been through it once over. I'll describe the setting for you and the details accordingly. It was 40x Salvia, blackish crystals/leaves, packed a generous amount on top of a bit of herb. I'll comment on the dosage later. I hit this out of a bong, got a really nice inhale and held it long as I could, and needless to say it worked.
I'm 22, 6'3" and about 195, healthy, intelligent, smoke herb and have experience with mushrooms and a few party drugs. Basically what I'm saying is I am by no means a complete amateur and was well informed about Salvia going into the trip, but I acknowledge strongly that my surroundings played a large role in what I consider to be the somewhat negative (more on this later) aspects of the experience.
So my friend didn't want people smoking in her house, no problem, I was fine doing it in the doorway and just chilling on the floor after I exhaled and someone grabbed the bong and closed the door. Everything went smoothly, and then I slowly fell myself sinking to the ground. I went with it and immediately just sat down. Around me there were about 6 or 7 people, some standing on a staircase to my left a few feet away from me and a few others to my right. This is definitely more than I would ever be comfortable doing it with again, but for what it's worth after the experience, I'd say it was worth it regardless overall. I'm not entirely sure as to the time-line of the entire experience, as in in which order the events occurred exactly, since it was really a shockingly intense blast into the trip that had me a bit disoriented at first.
Right, so on to the good stuff.
Nothing was really that remarkably different from what I could tell at first. I was pretty aware of who was around me and where I was. However there was a looming feeling of just...strangeness, oddity. I couldn't place my finger on it but absolutely everything seemed weird. I'm not really sure what I was doing, by this I mean mentally, my physical body is not even distinguishable from my mind at this point (take that, Descartes). I was just me, in my world as I knew it, but things felt weird.
Then shit got absolutely bizarre and at points terrifying. While I was still able to perceive some sort of physical world, as in where I was and who was around me, there was also this intense melting feeling. Everything was melting and yet at the same time nothing was melting. Faces melted into walls, walls melted into the ground and then the ground melted into itself.
Then one of the most profound moments I will ever experience in my life happened. The melting may or may not still have been going on throughout all this, I'm not sure, but everything felt real again albeit still weird. I could clearly see one of my good friends in front of me and I was aware that I was somewhere...although not where I actually was. My surroundings felt very fake though I acknowledged this as the real world despite its weirdness.
Then that weird feeling climaxed unexpectedly. My entire reality started collapsing right before my eyes. People and things started getting very blocky and distorted and seemed as if they were being violently stacked or smashed together in some sort of universal rhythm. Yet, I could still see and hear my friends in the room to some extent...I was at least aware of my idea of them despite the fact they were basically stacked in some profound universal order and being vacuumed by some force. My jaw melted into the floor, as did my side. I was morphing or blockifying as everything else around me was. I was being sucked into the fabric of time and space itself, or I was supposed to be... but I could not. The process stopped with my jaw half sunken into the abyss. This was the single most terrifying moment of the entire trip for me. I wasn’t sure what was going on or what was happening to me, but I felt I was holding up some sort of universal cataclysm. I could see the face of my friend hovering atop the blocky vortex of destruction, he was laughing...as was everyone else. They were all laughing at me because I didn’t know what to do to complete this process. I couldn’t actually see their bodies, but I felt as if they were all there with me.
I was more terrified at this point than I have ever been before to be honest. I felt as if my entire reality, my life as I knew it and all my thoughts, dreams, beliefs, knowledge and relationships were all FAKE. My entire world as I knew it was simply imploding. In a brief moment I realized that all the relationships with all of my friends were false. The worst part? Some of those friends were there - it seemed as if they were playing a trick on me, or this was some kind of twisted dream. I felt very betrayed...I even called out to another friend who was there who had tried Salvia earlier in the day for help, because I wasn't sure why everyone was messing with me and he was the only person other than myself I could be sure was somewhat real. I needed something to be real...everything around me was corrupted, even my own body. Friends I’ve known my whole life, facts I’ve believed my whole life, the very foundations of my life...illusions, worthless.
I was on to their trick though, or aware that I was dreaming...whichever was the case. I felt as if I wanted to rise above this madness and enter back into reality as I wanted it to exist; as I've always known my life to be. Eventually the fear was replaced with...slight anger. I say that because when I attempted to come back to normal consciousness I absolutely could not do it. The demented morphing world of confusion and oddity WAS my reality. Time really was stopped for me and I had no idea what to do.
Then I went through some revelational vortex of life. It seemed as if I experienced life as lower beings in rapid succession, shooting through space and time for eternity until I came right back to where I was. Time was stopped and I was sitting on the ground with my face half melted into it. This journey had somehow allowed me to complete my process. Now that I was back I could complete this life defining...well, melt. Everyone was happy for me it seemed, that I finally knew what I was supposed to do. My friend's floating head over the Vortex seemed to find it funny that it took me so long, as if I had forgotten and that strange trip through the vortex of life had reminded me.
That was pretty much it. I was pretty messed up for a while after, took me a bit to actually commit to thinking I was back to my normal reality. I had tried so many times during the trip to make the commitment and ground myself only to fail and get scared lol.
Despite the brief moments of terror, I’m definitely glad I tried it and would do it all over again. Even in the same situation and everything if given the choice again. I feel as if it was fun in a way that it only could have been with those people around in that non-ideal setting, even though this lead to some fear during the trip. That being said, if I ever do it again it will be in a MUCH different atmosphere. Definitely along the lines of the environments people recommend you experiment in. My experience seems very much like those of people I’ve read about, and from what my friends described as “possessed retardation”, I acted very similar to people in a number of youtube videos I’ve watched. Strange movements, senseless travel, complete disorientation and making incomprehensible noises amongst random conversation.
Anyway, that’s my tale.
Edited by Warp (02/21/11 01:12 PM)
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