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unfoldedbrain
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Life after Ego Death?
#13999877 - 02/21/11 08:05 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Ok so I've never experienced this. I came close once, maybe I did but it was only for an instance and then I was distracted which must mean my ego was still there. From reading about it it sounds like it's one of those things were you just know it when you experience it, like the female orgasm. Anyways this one experience when I was almost there was very profound for me and maybe just subtly life changing afterwards. So what I'm interested in is peoples actual accounts of how ego death has changed there life, if at all.
-------------------- Just kidding! I am a well behaved narrow minded American and I always say no to drugs! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmQFaFYdkRc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sABp7DzrjHQ
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lasttime
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In my limited experience, the most remarkable thing about ego death is that you actually think YOU ARE DYING. If you don't think you died, imo it wasn't a true ego death. The reason for this is that, prior to your ego dying, if you don't completely associate your EGO with being YOU - then what died, anyway? Then, after you die, you realize that your "you" was an illusion - that was just your ego. What's left after your ego dies is your true Self.
I only hit true ego death once, on LSD. It is the greatest thing i ever experienced, without a doubt.
Edited by lasttime (02/21/11 08:45 AM)
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unfoldedbrain
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: lasttime]
#13999999 - 02/21/11 08:46 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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right on So has that experience changed the way you think or act at all in everyday life?
-------------------- Just kidding! I am a well behaved narrow minded American and I always say no to drugs! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tmQFaFYdkRc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sABp7DzrjHQ
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lasttime
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yes and no. For several weeks (maybe 6) it definitely did. Eventually I got lazy with my meditative practices and kind of got back to square one, but it definitely changed me. It turned me on to eastern religion and mysticism forever.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: lasttime]
#14000062 - 02/21/11 09:08 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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It's unspeakably strange, similar to that time you came out of your mom's vagina all those years ago. It has that type of WTF behind it. It's like a nuclear missile aimed at your head and exploding. It feels like THE defining moment in the history of time.
There is really nothing I can do with it after it happens. Integrate that? How, kind sir? It was just a dream. I still have to go to work, still get a raging hard-on a few times a day, still can't stand the assholes that I have to deal with in my life, and still wipe my ass after shitting. It's an ineffable experience that will soon fade in color, intensity, and significance. Good thing these drugs are cheap because you can easily do it again.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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lasttime
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: joemolloy]
#14000077 - 02/21/11 09:11 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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LMAO!! I don't necessarily fully agree with you, joe, but you sure have a way with words. I hope you're a writer.
Just to further expand:
It's like you're a drop of water falling into a pond. And you can tell that some fucked up shit is about to happen, but you're not sure what.
and you get closer
and closer
"ahhhhhh holy fuck!!!!!"
FUCKFUKCFUCKFUCK OMG MOMG OM GMG
MORE AND MORE INTENSE the closer you get to the pond
until it's
INFINITELY INTENSE
and then...
..................................................
.............
..............
in an instant, it's all gone
there is only the tranquil bliss of (non)existence
Edited by lasttime (02/21/11 09:18 AM)
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lasttime
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: lasttime]
#14000115 - 02/21/11 09:22 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Regarding joe's "it will fade in color":
I don't know, will it?
I mean, obviously it will, inevitably...
But is it *necessary* that it fades?
I'm still not sure. I believe it's possible to live a life of truth, especially after going on a youtube rampage a few months back and watching all these vids of tibetan monks and other crazy shit.
But that's really the heart of the question. Is enlightenment/ego-death just some drug-induced "glitch" in the matrix - a glimpse into true reality that we would never ordinarily have been able to view? Or is it a gentle reminder that we still have a chance to live the rest of our lives honestly?
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R2-D2
horseradish



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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: lasttime]
#14000174 - 02/21/11 09:39 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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i guess it mostly depends on if you can keep your ego dead
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centurz


Registered: 01/13/11
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: R2-D2]
#14000402 - 02/21/11 10:26 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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The moment of ego death itself may be fleetingly quick when it happens, but while your in that state of pure existence and nothingness it can feel timeless. I for one would not want to be ego dead for the rest of my life, because after all Watts said himself, without your ego you dont know whos mouth to put the food in at a restaurant.
Its a pretty high challenge to somehow integrate this experience into our daily modern lives with all our other priorities demanding our attention. I feel like joe in that there really is nothing I can do with it, just be astonished and walk away to reminisce. I think we need our ego to function and keep our body alive but we can learn much by dissolving it, and taking a peek into life without that "I" that we all believe to be our ego.
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Anthony917
why dont we do it in the road



Registered: 05/14/09
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: centurz]
#14000950 - 02/21/11 12:09 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
centurz said: The moment of ego death itself may be fleetingly quick when it happens, but while your in that state of pure existence and nothingness it can feel timeless. I for one would not want to be ego dead for the rest of my life, because after all Watts said himself, without your ego you dont know whos mouth to put the food in at a restaurant.
Its a pretty high challenge to somehow integrate this experience into our daily modern lives with all our other priorities demanding our attention. I feel like joe in that there really is nothing I can do with it, just be astonished and walk away to reminisce. I think we need our ego to function and keep our body alive but we can learn much by dissolving it, and taking a peek into life without that "I" that we all believe to be our ego.
I think that ego death can have lasting effects on someones life...and if you don't, then you're probably only doing mushrooms to get high. Ego death is one of the craziest experiences I have ever experienced, because like others have said, it literally feels like you are dead. "You" dissolves into infinity and "you" become nothing...timeless. It's really hard to describe until you experience it yourself. All you have to do is take a large enough dose or shrooms/lsd and you will reach ego death whether you like it or not. It rips your normal filter of the world off and imo lets you see everything as it really is. It's all about integrating what you learned on your trip into your sober life. I've learned the most about myself on high doses of psychedelics and I can say that ego death DEFINITELY left a lasting impact on my life.
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17 Trippin? Click Me
What is life? I'm tired of life...
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Psilocital Inebria
Cold Cheesburger and a Smoke



Registered: 02/20/11
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: Anthony917]
#14001664 - 02/21/11 02:01 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Sorry for a dumb question but is feeling innocent and childish(not acting childish per say but feeling like a 5 yr old) ego loss or death?
-------------------- LSD Mushrooms DXM Salvia MDMA Nitrous Oxide Morning Glory:Still Waiting Peyote:Still Waiting
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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One time I remember was when smoking changa during an oral DMT trip. I was laying in my backyard at night and after exhaling, I felt propelled into the night sky at light speed, kind of like at the beginning of Star Wars. After a few moments, my Self began to encompass all of the stars and the whole universe until Self and Other became synonymous. I became it all, everything that is and was and ever will be. But there was no I. Utter insanity.
Anyway, that was one time. Another time my living room became an Egyptian desert and I was crawling on the floor like a slave until I morphed into a sphinx complete with all its knowledge and depth. Fucking ridiculous what DMT does. I am not sure if that was ego death, but it was just as nutty.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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Anthony917
why dont we do it in the road



Registered: 05/14/09
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Quote:
Psilocital Inebria said: Sorry for a dumb question but is feeling innocent and childish(not acting childish per say but feeling like a 5 yr old) ego loss or death?
No. Ego death, like many people have described on the 129038102983 threads about it, is the complete and total loss of self. Literally you will die. "you" your ego, everything that makes up who "you" are, dissolves into infinity. You'll know when it happens...or will you?
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17 Trippin? Click Me
What is life? I'm tired of life...
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Hicquodiam
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: Anthony917]
#14003023 - 02/21/11 06:12 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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The ego, aka the "self," is just a mental fiction. It doesn't exist to die, only the belief in it. Kinda like believing in a unicorn doesn't make it real.
-------------------- The core psychological trigger of Enlightenment has been cracked, and it's very simple to do: http://primalcrusade.blogspot.com/ http://www.ruthlesstruth.com/arena/
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lasttime
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: Hicquodiam]
#14003039 - 02/21/11 06:15 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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I think of it like you are at a fancy restaurant. You are reading off the menu and you find something that sounds really good. You can imagine what it's like, you can even believe you know exactly what it will be like, but it's just an IDEA.
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Samuel L Jackson
Bad Motherfucker


Registered: 12/10/09
Posts: 8,395
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: lasttime]
#14003238 - 02/21/11 06:51 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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ego death really hasnt changed me except for the fact that it made me aware of how good i can feel by pumping myself full of chemicals.
i remember immediately after when i was starting to regain my ability to think coherently, that i couldnt comprehend ever being the same person ever again. not after what i had just experienced.
but then i woke up the next morning and went about my life as if nothing had happened.
i think ego death cant really change a person, because who you are doesnt exist in that moment. you cant really experience it. you can remember it, but you can never feel it unless you are in the middle of it. and when you are in the middle of it, you arent you. you are nothing, yet you are everything. it transcends language, and thats why its so hard to describe.
thats why people can only say 'you will know when you experience it'. because thats about all you can say about it. i can try and put my ego death experience into words, i could write a book about the experience, and that book wouldnt be even remotely close to accurately describing it.
its kind of a funky thing. its just so beyond normal human perception that its on a completely different level from who you are on a day to day basis.
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chill divine
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: lasttime]
#14003924 - 02/21/11 09:01 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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I experienced ego death on November 9, 2006. I did not know others had experienced this until tonight - I was strangely compelled to explore shroomery on the net and came across ego death - WOW. I'm not much of a computer guy, but I am so excited to find out what happened to me, I just have to communicate this. EGO DEATH IS REAL - every bit as real as life altering as the birth and death of this human form we occupy. VERY REAL. LIFE ALTERING. I remember dying and essentially being reborn - the fear was tremendous. I knew I had died and over and over tried to seek out the meaning of this. I had pretty much put it together and in my own words, it was about "liberating the soul from the ego". The term ego death makes sense indeed. Since This experience I have truly changed as a person and as a spirit. In an EUREKA moment, November 2009, I quit using alcohol and tobacco (both I used more than regularly for over 20 years) and I stopped killing and eating our animal friends - vegetarian forever. I have cleaned up in so many ways and still continue to - because of the mess I left on the other side - the other reality - the dead side. Ego death has until now, been a very confusing thing to live with for the past 4 years. I knew it was not just a bad trip, although I did see a psychiatrist about it and from time to time I rationalized things by calling it PTSD, imprinting, depression, flashbacks, etc. Oh my god did it feel like I had died (and I have told this to many people). I truly feel reborn tonight, just knowing a lot more of the answers I've been seeking. I feel awesome that I experienced something that is kind of the pinnacle of psychonaut exploration - that most people cannot achieve - but others have been there and we are ok. I know I will no longer feel crazy or abnormal, sad or confused because I can attach a label to this phenomenon - EGO DEATH - and its a good thing!
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fiddle




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Loc: PNW
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Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
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indica


Registered: 08/17/05
Posts: 18,905
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ego death; you don't realise it's happening/happened until after it's happened and you're on the tail of it
i disagree with joemolloy, i'm still just as mystified and baffled about my ego death experience as I was when it happened on my first trip (hasn't happened on shrooms since)
however, I think there is a big big different between ego 'death' and ego 'loss'
I think a lot of people get confused by it.
I really want to try ego death again but am really apprehensive about having to get that far out on shrooms for it to happen
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chill divine
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Re: Life after Ego Death? [Re: indica]
#14004310 - 02/21/11 10:08 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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yes indica - it was after i died that i realized i had died. it was like holy shit! HOLY SHIT!!!!!! HOLY FUCKING SHIT I DIED BACK THEN!!!!!!! Then more panick... how do i make this right, what the fuck now - what the fuck now!
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