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Raliegh
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Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology)
#13999672 - 02/21/11 05:58 AM (13 years, 13 days ago) |
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I cannot seem to decide whether the path of infinite understanding... Knowledge that you create your own reality... So why do I make feelings it so that others may try to get me out of the loop... I'm crazy because I tell myself I am... I try and describe things in a way I perceive this knowledge so I can convince myself that I'm not, while accepting that I am. I inverted reality , Terrance McKenna, someone I try and idolize in idealogy I notice that he over-explains everything... And that I cannot understand him although I feel the need to. All it is is a continuous explanation of how one can perceive reality in infinite ways, we... I wonder if I can revert... Or even want to revert to reality... Infinity has nothing in it... Just a number in the front? (in regards to a notebook that I felt had something in it about me... And it had words that explained what I conceived as 'bad' about me... My morals that I create, and how I was every one of those... Yet would refuse to admit it, knowing that doing so would cause me to lose this sense of understanding... Of false control... Others are explaining what I do... Continue doing drugs and not paying debts... I catch myself in lies... And let myself know this when I explain it. Decisions are infinite... It's interesting in what you decide (or try and decide) to go. I tell myself I'm angry I keep trying to explain it... So I am. How I can not recall memories I say I think I should have, and have others portray these memories (or false conceptions of them) to myself. Psychotic... But happy.
Scotty... Kid that he sees again throws a grenade without pulling the pin... Intentionally creating fear... He was just told to throw the grenade without meaning harm, but causing possibility of perceiving harm... And making a mistake one may tell themselves they are not able to live with. Scotty (I) does drugs from keeping his mind... Forgetting... Of bombs... Or what I think is memories of what I state is a tramatic experience. Maybe it is a way of experiencing the opposite so you can compare... If you were to not compare reality... There are complete opposite ways of viewing what is the right path or wrong way... From reality... Why do we make our selves scared of the opposite of reality...? It is a big-ass circle... trying to make shit up as he goes... I hide from myself... I convince myself that knowing is necessary... Because I want it to be... Telling myself what I already know, over and over again in hopes that it sticks... Knowing that if it sticks gain will not be made.
It is a constant struggle against myself... Telling myself the paths I will take will undoubtedly turn bad... Thus causing such... The drugs are what I tell myself will bring me to this understanding... And therefore it is. It is just placebo... Reality in general could be described as such, but not understood. It can be described as anything and not understood... If you make it so. It's confusing... Because you make it so. Why would I put others in harm even though I know (and therefore)... Why would that situation cause me to be in a bad one...? Because I make it so? I can only make one belief and yet I make myself fight my choices for reasons I cannot pin as sane or insane... Good or right... I am not able to label such, and therefore find myself constantly asking and describing what should I do/what I have done...Can I get out on top without giving in to what I believe I create as bad? I think I can... Maybe that's my demise. If so, at least I know I can tell myself this, and try and greet it gracefully... Even though I know demise is infinite and not something to embrace... Perhaps... I don't know why I try and continue this exploration... Of explaining... Of... The barrier theory... The why theory... You conflict with yourself... It's what creates reality... Understand it... One tries to explain everything... Not accepting it as it is... That they continue creating their own reality by creating conflicts. We try to create scenarios to compare... When perception changes... So does our ability to understand that we compare this... An understanding that doesn't matter... But because you understand you find yourself repeating it to yourself... You are reality, but you cannot let yourself take control because it would be death... All knowingness... I tell myself I didn't even know, even though I know I did... Fucking loop. For some reason false understanding is... Euphoric, if scary... If you can maintain the mood... The constant struggle you put up with yourself in attempts to stop describing how you are trying to defend the experience. DONE. Copy, paste.
I know in this post, others will reply in ways that I assume reality would... Because I make it so. The mirror-effect... Others will call me insane because I say it so, and will try and rationalize it in ways I want to... For the better good, but there will always be doubt in what you say... Because you conflict with not knowing if the Why do I tell others that I define things in ways of being... What would medically be defined as bi-polar... Where I try and rationalize if it makes no sense...Why I try and rationalize why I have to question...
Tao Zen ... I tell myself to refuse this knowledge... That I have to learn it by looking it up or constantly recalling it... But I don't... It is all obvious, but if we make it so it causes infinitum... Something you should be able to perceive... But know, or think, deep down, due to a secret fear of the unknown that it is not meant to be... I'm still trying to rationalize a reason for this quest... This has become my life... But do I want it to be? Blissful ignorance may be the true way to go... But will we continue to cause humanity to take the bad course you make it take due to shared consciousness...? If you do not try and defeat these feelings that limit you...? Why do I feel I must know what causes me to want to know infinity even though I know it is repetitive and infinite, that I cause myself to continue.
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Edited by Raliegh (02/21/11 06:24 AM)
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Ferdinando


Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 3,682
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Raliegh]
#13999677 - 02/21/11 06:03 AM (13 years, 13 days ago) |
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whatever you perceive is a tiny part of reality as a whole reality is simple just observe there is no mystery really it is easy to get confused when you think too much
Edited by Ferdinando (02/21/11 06:06 AM)
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Raliegh
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Ferdinando]
#13999690 - 02/21/11 06:26 AM (13 years, 13 days ago) |
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That it is... I know this, but for some reason I find it as a way of coming to realization that you create reality... You need conflict of morals/true wants in order for reality. That is how one may judge humanity ... who has the willpower to fight and prevail... Thus causing the conflict, one side not deciding to recede to one reality... To stopping to explain... Although I find myself defending the reason.
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themop
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Raliegh]
#13999692 - 02/21/11 06:27 AM (13 years, 13 days ago) |
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Yeah mate, I don't think convincing yourself that drugs are going to help you understand your current reality is a good idea. You sound like your in the depths of a trip right now and I know that crazy feeling.
But thats all it is, a crazy feeling. No need to rationalize it with some quasi meta psycho babble rant.
And fewer ellipses next time please lol, I imagine I'm listening to some fat guy out of breath when I try to imagine that many pauses in such a one sided conversation.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Raliegh]
#13999710 - 02/21/11 06:41 AM (13 years, 13 days ago) |
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Your notes confirm that you're on a deep trip off some good psychedelics. Your mind is making all sorts of wacky connections, accepting of anything that happens to come its way. Enjoy it, revel in it, and feel it. If your writing still makes sense after the trip is over, stop tripping for a while. You'll drive yourself crazy with these "insights."
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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Raliegh
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: joemolloy]
#13999818 - 02/21/11 07:38 AM (13 years, 13 days ago) |
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Quote:
themop said: Yeah mate, I don't think convincing yourself that drugs are going to help you understand your current reality is a good idea. You sound like your in the depths of a trip right now and I know that crazy feeling.
But thats all it is, a crazy feeling. No need to rationalize it with some quasi meta psycho babble rant.
And fewer ellipses next time please lol, I imagine I'm listening to some fat guy out of breath when I try to imagine that many pauses in such a one sided conversation.
Ellipses I give a pause... A meaning, a break... A recurring thing I keep telling myself I need... But not listening to. I would apologize for the ellipses but they are the way I have decided as a way of trying to explain what cannot be explained... I feel one will try and rationalize their thoughts (as has been evident to anyone else outside...) that I cannot understand which reality is the right one to choose... Why I have to define a right one from a wrong one... So I tell myself I can feel the inverse... But why subconsciously choose one reality over the other? Compared to what I have been brought up learning... One should hold good morals and good meaning... But is this true? It is a question I find I know the answer to in the other reality... About how it is unexplainable because I say it is... I continue the loop.
I find myself knowing (or telling myself) that I am insane for believing from the norm... For willingly sticking myself in this loop of understanding even though my inverse was what I was raised (or tell myself I was raised) to believe... I fuel myself by continuing to explain the explained.
It's a constant conflict of defining what is right and what is wrong... It is why I visualize debates as just arguing separate views... Telling myself that it is annoying and unneeded yet it is what I find myself doing... Trying to decide right from wrong... Instead of flowing... And therefore creating my own reality...
Quote:
joemolloy said: Your notes confirm that you're on a deep trip off some good psychedelics. Your mind is making all sorts of wacky connections, accepting of anything that happens to come its way. Enjoy it, revel in it, and feel it. If your writing still makes sense after the trip is over, stop tripping for a while. You'll drive yourself crazy with these "insights."
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: joemolloy]
#13999825 - 02/21/11 07:41 AM (13 years, 13 days ago) |
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my reading of that is 1. you are a skilled verbalizer 2. you lover verbalizing more than living 3. you have a good sense of self and other, and in being "other" such that you can talk about others and still mean your self or your own others --- but this kinda wigs you out. 4. you seek relief from words and other's words (including your own others' words) and take refuge in more words. 5. you consider that psychedelics give you relief from words but you know it actually amplifies everything and allows connections between things that are not ordinarily connected - but this is just diversionary. 6. playing with "madness" you control your own laziness and force others to do work for you. 7. you can return to baseline with your breath but it seems to be too much work.
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Raliegh
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: redgreenvines]
#13999931 - 02/21/11 08:25 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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I tell myself I like to keep things uneven although I tell myself I wonder what would happen if I were to introduce... Accept one reality/understanding over the other... I truly believe what I want to believe... Except that is not true, there is always the inverse fighting its way... Until one decides to stop, and this quest of understanding will be one's death... Or rather lack of perception of understanding they are stuck... Infinitely and decide to stop...
I am in the middle of a trip, or so I make myself believe... The trip being the way of understanding what truth can and will do to oneself... But still accepting and continuing in a self-destructive path... Because we tell ourselves we cannot change what we believe... Which we are not even sure. This belief creates the infinite quest of understanding... Of connecting the pieces to thinking you know truth if you decide not to live blindly, without escape of the adverse reality... The true reality, or what I 'define' as true from what I have been telling myself I was raised to believe. The want to explain that blissful ignorance is good, but fighting against that knowledge for a reason we cannot define, that I can define and have but refuse to listen.
Knowing all defeats the purpose of life... Which is NOT to know all... But to see how one self evaluates himself and the way thinking you know all (effectively knowing all by comparison) is a way to battle what you have been taught... A rebellion as seems to come to mind... Halfway due to myself whistling what was the song in which we tell ourselves we cannot remember... For attempts of breaking the loop.(I believe, for I limit myself from reading... Woah... About how one will know they will not remember the right thing but yet decide to tell ourselves something was what it was... Remembering the correct but deep down knowing it isn't what you remember (perhaps because you make it so... This is the beginning of the loop) yet upon playing or understanding you fool yourself into believing what you told yourself you weren't... A constant, infinite battle I tell myself I have the need to struggle... To explain... In hopes that it is enlightenment... Perhaps deciding to be caught is the right choice... Because we make it so... Although we will inevitably think bad outcomes of it and try to rationalize, causing us to doubt our original understanding... Doubt, the conflict of repetition .
I for some reason find it as a way of explaining.
This constant state of knowing, constantly providing myself with conflicts is what causes reality to continue... For one to not perish by letting the thoughts which he has both of control him... One path leads to death, and one leads to what may be life or death... This is unknown... Undefinable... That there are things I will take as a way to continue attempting to explain...
Questions... Again... What caused us to be the original thought of reality that we would define as the 'right' path, When you decide to stop trying to explain... To be repetitive... What is there? Starting the quest for knowledge yet again... Which is nothing but what we make it... We make knowledge, our inverse, and what we feel as a true experience of reality differently in both inverses every day... We tell ourselves this repetition is bad for fear that it is, but that is indeed keeping us from understanding... Just causing the loop to be inversed... One to listen and perceive reality and their likes as they want. Attempt to take control starts an intense ride... For telling yourself (and projecting others) into repeating the same knowledge... A constant need to explain repetition. I will go back and delete some of this repetition and see where it leads me... I know I will inevitably have to leave some repeats back because it will cause me to turn back to the repeats... Something I feel I cannot live without... Understanding...
Oh My God... A sense to rationalize in description what reality and life truly is...
Why do you want to take control of reality? Of knowing it all? It may be what I decide to transcribe as enlightenment for a sense in coming to truth... For rationalizing everything that occurs... The want that you do not know is true or not to stop but this quest of self-enlightenment... To inevitably fill ones' own selfish (what I consider society to deem as selfish and in respect me) desire and quest to be in control. Refusing to accept one knows he is but is NOT in control...
Quote:
redgreenvines said: my reading of that is 1. you are a skilled verbalizer 2. you lover verbalizing more than living 3. you have a good sense of self and other, and in being "other" such that you can talk about others and still mean your self or your own others --- but this kinda wigs you out. 4. you seek relief from words and other's words (including your own others' words) and take refuge in more words. 5. you consider that psychedelics give you relief from words but you know it actually amplifies everything and allows connections between things that are not ordinarily connected - but this is just diversionary. 6. playing with "madness" you control your own laziness and force others to do work for you. 7. you can return to baseline with your breath but it seems to be too much work.
Yes, I tell myself this and yet know I cannot believe it because to accept would to kill reality... Or what one defines as reality... I agree that I am indeed the opposite of what I have been brought up to believe... I am after the fast cash, and wish to be lazy, and to understand one can be if one truly wants because reality is their own to make... If it weren't for the fact you tell yourself it isn't... That you are tempted to believe what you were raised to believe... What you consider 'society' or 'normal' beliefs to be right...
I limit myself to this knowledge with drugs in the sense that you can change... You can have the ability to explain bringing on more and more explanation. You lose touch with actual reality (or what you define is actual reality) and notice that you have become constricted in understanding that it is an internal struggle for power with yourself...
In a constant struggle for understanding that you understand how things are ... One will attempt to adopt hobbies or methods to explain... I try and continuasly verbalize... SWIM conveys in singing or so I tell myself... That if one were to explain in different methods and varieties one would understand the choice that should be made... People need a break... Or that's what I tell myself... Perhaps for a reason or perhaps because I need the definitive alternative to continue this loop.
Why do we attempt to explain it? If one does not ask questions... Would one not be able to discern that the knowledge is infinite and I repeat it.
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Edited by Raliegh (02/21/11 08:32 AM)
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Raliegh
Professional Furfag



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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Raliegh]
#13999976 - 02/21/11 08:38 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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You create the need for searching for knowledge... You know all there is to know, but limit yourself to, say, searching for Google for the information that you hide from yourself for a reason or not is definable by being undefinable.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Raliegh] 1
#14000005 - 02/21/11 08:47 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Raliegh, I've been where you are, in some existential search for meaning, for an understanding of what it all is, for some hints or clues to that which is hidden from me. I felt psychedelics gave me deep insights into the true nature of my search. During trips when I achieved what I perceived to be true enlightenment, I'd make audio tapes to capture it or write furiously to cement the moment in time. The others would never understand because they were too close-minded or scared. Oohh, I was close to getting it, I felt I was making progress.
Fuck that shit. With or without psychedelics no one has any fucking clue. Pray to God, smoke DMT, eat shrooms, meditate, we are all blind, dumb, and deaf to the existential questions and answers. Devoting my time and energy to it turned me into a arrogant weird motherfucker that couldn't relate to others because I was soaking in nonsense bullshit.
What I've learned...Seek pleasure, avoid pain. Everything else is bullshit including my lesson to you.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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lasttime
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: joemolloy]
#14000051 - 02/21/11 09:04 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Don't try to figure out the universe.
The best you can hope for is some self-understanding.
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joemolloy
DMT is Bullshit


Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 6,525
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: lasttime]
#14000071 - 02/21/11 09:09 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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True words, lasttime. There is value for self analysis and understanding of motivations and problems. It gives a different perspective and its often useful.
-------------------- Don't PM me with bullshit. I don't sell or trade cactus and I don't know where you can get any, other than your mother's ass.
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Raliegh
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: lasttime]
#14000118 - 02/21/11 09:22 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Don't try to figure out the universe.
The best you can hope for is some self-understanding.
I tell myself I understand this... Yet you just contradicted what you said... Figuring out the universe is impossible because it is not definitive... It is what you make of it. Self-understanding may be the realization and acceptance of this infinite climb but I seem to find myself attempting to climb it anyways...
Why do I attempt to rationalize a reason to get fucked up? To do something totally mind-blowing... Telling myself it will give me knowledge...
I tell myself to rationalize it that it is a way of evolving... Of being able to actively alter reality... Which it has, but in a way I refuse to believe in a bad way... To understand it is a constant loop of trying to phrase how I understand yet tell myself I cannot stop.
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lasttime
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Raliegh]
#14000125 - 02/21/11 09:25 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
Why do I attempt to rationalize a reason to get fucked up? To do something totally mind-blowing... Telling myself it will give me knowledge...
I tell myself to rationalize it that it is a way of evolving... Of being able to actively alter reality... Which it has, but in a way I refuse to believe in a bad way... To understand it is a constant loop of trying to phrase how I understand yet tell myself I cannot stop.
Very good stuff!! I'm impressed!!
All this "holy sacrament" talk on the shroomery is mostly just an excuse for people to enjoy getting "fucked up" without calling it that.
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Raliegh
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: lasttime]
#14000246 - 02/21/11 09:57 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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I understand that knowledge, once acknowledged that you know all... Reality ceases to exist, which is a good and bad thing as when one realizes he knows all he finds himself wishing to share this information... In attempts to explain that he knows this knowledge because we tell ourselves that infinite understanding and misunderstanding comes with knowledge... One cannot live correctly because one knows he controls... And tries to explain this but finds himself always in repeat... Even though what I tell myself that I need to release this knowledge in order to live in what would be defined as a 'normal' reality... That I try to explain to myself that I need to release the quest for knowledge because once it is known reality ceases... And this causes me to repeat telling myself to stop repeating... And how I tell myself I cannot/do not wish to stop this quest even though I know it is necessary for me to create and live in what I define as a normal society.
"Add a base..." If we tell ourselves to understand that we make a set of good choices and bad to question our true selves that we will find ourselves in infinitum attempting to explain... That one does not need to explain... That we were raised as drugs and certain choices being 'bad' and therefore being the underlying 'base' of information that we create and our quest for this knowledge and how to explain it is our demise... If we make it so... Or so I tell myself that I believe... If one has full knowledge and understanding what stops him from making any decision he makes the right one? Himself... And whether or not this discovery may or may not mean anything if one rationalizes himself to feel that it is needed and right than he is indeed making what he describes or creates as the bad decision... Bringing into question why one will do his best to rationalize lies about himself... And to easily resort back into the repetitive nature of understanding... Why do I question myself if this is the right path to take?
Control the wreck, it's what Scotty (I) called a track as a sense of directing me towards understanding that I want to believe living life in delusion and understanding of misunderstanding even though I tell myself (and therefore it may be) bad...Quote:
lasttime said:
Quote:
Why do I attempt to rationalize a reason to get fucked up? To do something totally mind-blowing... Telling myself it will give me knowledge...
I tell myself to rationalize it that it is a way of evolving... Of being able to actively alter reality... Which it has, but in a way I refuse to believe in a bad way... To understand it is a constant loop of trying to phrase how I understand yet tell myself I cannot stop.
Very good stuff!! I'm impressed!!
All this "holy sacrament" talk on the shroomery is mostly just an excuse for people to enjoy getting "fucked up" without calling it that.
Yes... This is a deep realization that I know and tell myself that I know but refuse to accept it... That I rationalize reality in ways it need not be... In the search for what I tell myself is knowledge and yet continue to tell... Without finally accepting it.... Out of the false fear that I may tell myself that I make to continue to rationalize and head down the same path... That indeed I have to admit that I create knowledge and yet seem to ignore the fact that nothing is new... That we are only justifying it as discovering truth. I find myself asking why this is the case in the need I have to learn... "Put a donk on it" as a way to tell myself to stop yet I tell myself I do not understand even though I realize I need to stop trying to believe I am a higher being... That I feel the innate want to be and try and describe why we exist for no reason other than to know... Every time this thought enters my head I tell myself to create something to stop myself... But for some reason find myself asking what the true path is although I tell myself to feel that my conflicting views are both right and wrong... and when you find yourself trying to take the 'right' path you end up rationalizing what you truly want to be... Thus telling yourself you make it so, and therefore causing yourself to tell yourself it cannot be explained but you fight yourself... Naturally... To try and deny what you define as 'good' via social norms... Perhaps if we let ourselves understand that we do not actually understand reality and that humanity is true because we may or not make it... That one shouldn't try and understand all, but should go with what (he may or may not create, it is besides the point) and go on in ignorance... Which in this case would not be used as a bad word.
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Apostle
Philanthropist



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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Raliegh]
#14000260 - 02/21/11 10:01 AM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Raliegh
Professional Furfag



Registered: 05/22/10
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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Apostle]
#14001047 - 02/21/11 12:30 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Quote:
Hologram said:

I tell myself that I feel the need to echo even though I'm telling myself that I am not understanding the fact I know I am repeating... I need to lay a base... And build upon it... Or maybe defining a base will stop this loop of misunderstanding...
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Raliegh
Professional Furfag



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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Raliegh]
#14002619 - 02/21/11 04:48 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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I find myself telling myself to listen... That blaming it on others as being close-minded or scared when it's really just MYSELF creating these feelings... Why I find myself asking myself, although if I just followed my own advice and did seek happiness and stop thinking of the bad... That it is what I will experience... Devoting one's time to it does make you an arrogant fucker whom finds himself unable to relate to others... And I find myself being angry and depressed at the fact I understand I bring the bad thoughts into existence... Or is this true? I find myself in a constant state of contradiction... You telling me this 'fact' and then telling myself that that lesson learned is false... Rock Around it's Tricky... It's Tricky...
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Content
Hi


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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Raliegh]
#14002622 - 02/21/11 04:49 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Ya, you guys are going loc.
-------------------- Improvements sha'll be made. PESHawaiian ~ 4-HO-DMT
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Raliegh
Professional Furfag



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Re: Reality Is What You Perceive... Do Not Read If Sane (No Reverse Psychology) [Re: Content]
#14002646 - 02/21/11 04:54 PM (13 years, 12 days ago) |
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Yes, I may agree with that... But is telling yourself this false understanding what is creating reality as you perceive it...? How is one supposed to perceive it? This is a question I find myself wanting to ask myself because I believe the answer will bring me knowledge... That I already know.
Why do I let myself get in the way?
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Edited by Raliegh (02/21/11 05:10 PM)
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