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Morican
Stranger



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Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay?
#13997025 - 02/20/11 06:07 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm 41 years old and have been in a relationship with someone long term, serious, since I was 19. There have actually been 4 since I was 19, the first serious girl friend was only so because I got her pregnant and she kept the child but that first was only a 5 month relationship. After she found out she was pregnant, she left me and I met my First Wife two weeks later. We would get married a year into our relationship, have two babies and break up (Divorce) at the 5 year mark, I met my next long term girl friend three or four months after I got dumped, we were together for 10 years. At the 9 year mark she dumped me to free herself up for some guy she met on-line, but two weeks later she changed her mind and we stayed together for another year after that. At the 10 year mark I left her for who would be my second Wife, I cheated and so there was non gap between these two last women. This last relationship ended in divorce as well and lasted 5 years, we have a beautiful son together.
Those are just the last four girls/women I have been with in what I would call a relationship, there were another 9 before but just sex partners not actual "girl friends" and there was two more "sex partners, when I was dating after my first divorce, but I didn't mention them because like the first 9 girls, I didn't love them and it was just sex.
Anyway, I am 41 years old now, still very actracted to women, so not yet gay, but without a single ounce of desire to deal with women in any way but maybe sex.
I feel, done with them, but I miss certain aspects of being with them, not just sex but the other good feeling you feel when with someone.
I just can never allow another woman to get too close, if I did, I'm a dumb ass. So I have made an effort to stay away from them, they still try with me but I am not reseptive.
Some year I will go to nevada to a legal brothel (whore house) for the sex, I have no problem with that.
But is this normal given my past, I mean, I know exactly what it means to be in a relationship, I've have 4 children, and have known "love" for sure 3 times in my life.
It should be perfectly ok for someone in my shoes to be done, right?
But what now? Focuss on work, art, go back into martial arts, keep myself busy?
Of coarse... Is it a normal stage in life to be done with relationships/love?
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Morican]
#13997084 - 02/20/11 06:17 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm 27 and I feel like I'm done with relationships. I don't think it's odd in your situation to not want to be in a relationship, hell, not sure why it would have took you this long to figure that out.
Relationships are mutual codependency that will eventually kill your soul. Harvard medical released a study that says marriage will shorten your life.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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robbyberto
Water Boy


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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Morican]
#13997100 - 02/20/11 06:20 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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So you have 4 kids that you didn't spend that much time with? Fucking nice.
-------------------- “People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn’t necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.” -Karl Pilkington
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DrugsAreFunn
Stranger


Registered: 04/24/07
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Morican]
#13997157 - 02/20/11 06:30 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Morican said: I'm 41 years old and have been in a relationship with someone long term, serious, since I was 19. There have actually been 4 since I was 19, the first serious girl friend was only so because I got her pregnant and she kept the child but that first was only a 5 month relationship. After she found out she was pregnant, she left me and I met my First Wife two weeks later. We would get married a year into our relationship, have two babies and break up (Divorce) at the 5 year mark, I met my next long term girl friend three or four months after I got dumped, we were together for 10 years. At the 9 year mark she dumped me to free herself up for some guy she met on-line, but two weeks later she changed her mind and we stayed together for another year after that. At the 10 year mark I left her for who would be my second Wife, I cheated and so there was non gap between these two last women. This last relationship ended in divorce as well and lasted 5 years, we have a beautiful son together.
Those are just the last four girls/women I have been with in what I would call a relationship, there were another 9 before but just sex partners not actual "girl friends" and there was two more "sex partners, when I was dating after my first divorce, but I didn't mention them because like the first 9 girls, I didn't love them and it was just sex.
Anyway, I am 41 years old now, still very actracted to women, so not yet gay, but without a single ounce of desire to deal with women in any way but maybe sex.
I feel, done with them, but I miss certain aspects of being with them, not just sex but the other good feeling you feel when with someone.
I just can never allow another woman to get too close, if I did, I'm a dumb ass. So I have made an effort to stay away from them, they still try with me but I am not reseptive.
Some year I will go to nevada to a legal brothel (whore house) for the sex, I have no problem with that.
But is this normal given my past, I mean, I know exactly what it means to be in a relationship, I've have 4 children, and have known "love" for sure 3 times in my life.
It should be perfectly ok for someone in my shoes to be done, right?
But what now? Focuss on work, art, go back into martial arts, keep myself busy?
Of coarse... Is it a normal stage in life to be done with relationships/love?
dude ur a mess, you realize there is virtually no alone time from the time u were 19 until now? fuck, u go from 1 to the other. u love the idea of being in love and being married and having a family but ffs, take some time to prioritize your life and really find out who you are and maybe you wont run into the same reoccurring problems.
edit: dude ur 41 on a drug forum asking for SERIOUS life advice. fucking fix yourself please. isolate yourself for a period(exept ur kids!), read philosophy, discover what is important to you and what you want out of life. If you use drugs, sober the fuck up right now. u need to do some serious, clear-heading, life-changing thinking. knowledge is power, read. And fuck that radio therapist shit.. read philosophy.
Edited by DrugsAreFunn (02/20/11 06:34 PM)
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Morican]
#13997197 - 02/20/11 06:37 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Why do people think that just because they are done with putting up with the opposite sexes bullshit they might be gay?
I find that weird.
Why do people think that just because they are done with putting up with the opposite sexes bullshit they might be gay?
I find that weird.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Todcasil]
#13997206 - 02/20/11 06:39 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Hey tod, what's with the doubled up text?
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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biff
Boom



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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Todcasil]
#13997221 - 02/20/11 06:41 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Todcasil said: Why do people think that just because they are done with putting up with the opposite sexes bullshit they might be gay?
I find that weird.
Why do people think that just because they are done with putting up with the opposite sexes bullshit they might be gay?
I find that weird.
THIS
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
Loc: Crawling on the floor...
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Sprezzatura]
#13997241 - 02/20/11 06:45 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Hey tod, what's with the doubled up text?
A lot of folks who view the Shroomery use the Vintage Skin... Which makes many of my delightful colored musings invisible to them face.
So in an effort to get my posts to a wider audience I have created:
13.STEP VISION. 13.Step being the first user to bring this to my attention, while I was caring.
A lot of folks who view the Shroomery use the Vintage Skin... Which makes many of my delightful colored musings invisible to them face.
So in an effort to get my posts to a wider audience I have created:
13.STEP VISION. 13.Step being the first user to bring this to my attention, while I was caring.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Morican
Stranger



Registered: 05/01/09
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Last seen: 9 years, 6 months
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: DrugsAreFunn]
#13997263 - 02/20/11 06:48 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Except for my daughter that moved to Texas with her Mom and my other daughter that died at a year old, I have paid my child supports and fought for 50/50 custody and visitation. I am in love with the notion of love and having a family, just ain't good at it I guess.
I've lived enough, half of my life serching for "love".
Wow, 27 and done? I guess I'm just dumb.
I will be working, probably going back into martial arts or school to study something I really like, who knows.
I know I'm not gay, not attracted to men, just sick of women and their shit but still want/need them for sex, I guess. At least if I was gay, Id see a future in my social/sex life. I wish I was, so that Id have somewhere other than women to try and find "love".
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Morican] 1
#13997283 - 02/20/11 06:53 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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The thing about love is, you need to work on yourself first brother. That whole martial arts thing sounds like a good start...
Remember, you're not giving up on love, you are just focusing on loving yourself.
The thing about love is, you need to work on yourself first brother. That whole martial arts thing sounds like a good start...
Remember, you're not giving up on love, you are just focusing on loving yourself.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Morican]
#13997286 - 02/20/11 06:53 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Are one night stands impossible at age 40+? It seems like you're relating having sex with one of two conditions --- being in serious relationships or with whores at a brothel.
Meet some young woman at a bar, fuck her and forget her.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
Posts: 16,381
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Last seen: 9 years, 4 months
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Sprezzatura]
#13997302 - 02/20/11 06:58 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Are one night stands impossible at age 40+? It seems like you're relating having sex with one of two conditions --- being in serious relationships or with whores at a brothel.
Meet some young woman at a bar, fuck her and forget her.
While I totally agree with you, I also understand wanting to 'love' who you 'do' as it were... It's mostly just a nurture thing, he probably places high value on commited relationships and like some men (not all!) have some kind of 'jealousy' or 'ownership' clause when it comes to the ladies.
But who am EYE!?
While I totally agree with you, I also understand wanting to 'love' who you 'do' as it were... It's mostly just a nurture thing, he probably places high value on commited relationships and like some men (not all!) have some kind of 'jealousy' or 'ownership' clause when it comes to the ladies.
But who am EYE!?
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Uzziel
O_o


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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Todcasil]
#13997324 - 02/20/11 07:03 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Guys, guys. You got it all wrong. OP is definitely homosexual because he doesn't want to put up with women and their bullshit
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Uzziel]
#13997326 - 02/20/11 07:04 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Uzziel said: Guys, guys. You got it all wrong. OP is definitely homosexual because he doesn't want to put up with women and their bullshit
I'm homosexual too then
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


Registered: 08/08/99
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Sprezzatura]
#13997335 - 02/20/11 07:05 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm not homosexual, but I am pretty gay.
I'm not homosexual, but I am pretty gay.
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Raw
Muslim



Registered: 03/23/10
Posts: 1,419
Loc: USA West Coast
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Morican]
#13997353 - 02/20/11 07:09 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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We are all in the same boat man.
I'd stay away from the brothel. Paying for sex? You just need to focus on your needs first. Don't want kids with a chick, just let her know. Getting married.... = Stupid move, you will just get robbed. Having kids is cool as long as you don't have any money or an education and can't get stuck with more than you owe, also make sure the chick is putting her fair share in and has a job too.
No joint accounts, birth control, no condoms, a ltr, and not putting up with bullshit. Chicks will give you lots of bullshit if you let them. Fuck em with a condom for a month or two and if they don't act right let them know after you kick them out.
Women can't be trusted don't ya know. The first one should have let you know that after she robbed ya. Unless you are an idiot and still havn't figured it out.
Some hot pussy doesn't mean she has any brains... Don't ever try and make it work, if you are trying it didn't work.
~RAW
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Raw
Muslim



Registered: 03/23/10
Posts: 1,419
Loc: USA West Coast
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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Uzziel]
#13997361 - 02/20/11 07:11 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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No whoever really thinks this is just a pussy. All guys are at some point who believe in true love are like this... while the chick is counting the money and saying baby I really love you I'm just going to be out all night. Translation: I'm out fucking the neighbor you dumb pussy, don't forget to leave your wallet on the table.
Quote:
Uzziel said: Guys, guys. You got it all wrong. OP is definitely homosexual because he doesn't want to put up with women and their bullshit
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Morican
Stranger



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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Sprezzatura]
#13997415 - 02/20/11 07:23 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Todcasil, your right. I have spoken with a couple of guys, in their late 30's , one guy was almost 50 I think and they all told me the same thing, they met the one that has worked out finally, after they stopped looking and focussed on just having fun.
I am cool with one night stands, and no, people hook up at all ages, I am just not ready for anything, except sex, right now, I mean I don't even want to have to talk to them.
I had a 10 year relationship that was great, except it fell to isht when she found out we couldn't have kids because of a problem in her woman parts and tried to leave me, and me not being able to let it go and eventually leading to me leaving her. The ironey of it all, is that we both married and had a baby with other people within months of each other.
Fate, huh.
Yeah raw, I know about women and how they are and can be, I know them too well to respect them but am a respectful person for the most part and still have a dumb part of me that want to believe in God, love and Santa Claus.
I am also not homo but am heulla gay someimes. Hahaha
You guys are the best. Thanks for the info and for reminding me that I'm not alone and women just really do suck in general.
Maybe its just time for me and me alone.
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Todcasil
rogue DMT elf


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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Morican]
#13997444 - 02/20/11 07:28 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I think you missed the part that all women don't suck, but that's cool I'm glad you're feeling love, at least in here 
I think you missed the part that all women don't suck, but that's cool I'm glad you're feeling love, at least in here
-------------------- Men look at themselves and they see flawed humans, we look at women and we see perfect GODDESSES Women look at themselves and they seem utterly human, when looking at men they see proud GODS. ~Casil
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Anthony917
why dont we do it in the road



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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Raw]
#13997447 - 02/20/11 07:29 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah I agree with DrugsAreFunn...you've been with a woman and in serious relationships since you were 19??? Okay, so you basically just wasted your youth and all you have to show for it is 4 failed marriages and the thought that you might be gay. Success.
Why are you so in love with the idea of being in a relationship with a woman/having a family? Probably because that's all you've known for basically your entire adult life. Sounds like a shit show man. I wonder why your marriages all failed? Sounds to me like you need to do some soul searching...the shroomery isn't the place. GL man
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: I got my ass kicked by a 9yo when I was 17 Trippin? Click Me
What is life? I'm tired of life...
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Morican
Stranger



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Re: Is it normal to be done with women but not yet gay? [Re: Todcasil]
#13997531 - 02/20/11 07:50 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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No, I have a couple of really sweet, nice, loyal girl "friends" that I love and whom have always been there for me, its when you are in a relationship (sex) with them that they breakout the nasty demon side. I see it in their relationships, they tell me how they flirt with other men and make their husbands jealous on purpose, some have actually cheated and their men don't know and they do the same annoying isht to them that my exs have done to me. Some of my best friends are women, there for me in some ufcked up emotional times, but I can't respect them because of how they treat their men. If I was with them instaed of just a good friend, I would be suffering at their hands instead of enjoying the understanding and compasion I receive as their friend.
I am totally that guy type you described, value a commited relationship, have conditions to this relationship that involves acting a certain way, not single, if that makes any sense, and that may be my downfall. So in a sense, I probably have a basterized ideal of what "love" is and so will never find one that matches my expectatins.
I'm ok with that, I guess.
I was only married twice, but had four kids. There will not be a third, marriage or another divorce in my future. That I can say for sure.
I'll just keep loving myself, with help from internet porn that is.
Yeah, I love my fellow shroomerites no matter what, that's a given.
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