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I_was_the_walrus
eggshells



Registered: 05/01/02
Posts: 11,887
Loc: next door
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Im getting impatient for death
#13988324 - 02/19/11 01:51 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah yeah I know the talk. Hold in there buddy blah blah. Im not killing myself. I just dont see much more to wait around for 
Ive been completely down, Ive been on the top. Ive been rich, poor, lonely, had every friend I could ever want, experienced the deepest love and a loss, Ive traveled, done pretty much any drug I could want, been addicted, overcome addiction, Ive laughed my ass off, Ive cried myself to sleep and Ive climbed the peaks of any mountain I set my sights on. The past few years have been like...what now? What am I waiting for? Whats next? Am I really just gonna work and work and pay bills and slowly die from here on? I dont want to die to leave the world out of depression or desperation, Im actually a pretty happy guy...I just think it would be fuggin awesome. To see the big picture. The big debate. To experience the ultimate experience. I dont know what happens after death. The transition. Maybe nothing at all? I dont even have a stance on the subject because I just dont think I could even comprehend it. Its created wars between man-kind for thousands of years, and to honest...nobody really knows. Well I wanna find out...
Anybody else think this?
Yeah it would hurt a lot of people if I died, Ive lost friends and family. I know the feeling. But honestly, we're not all too far behind. We're all going some time. I honestly dont see death as a sad thing. More of a transition.
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ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,748
Last seen: 6 hours, 35 minutes
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I feel emotions like this often as well. Like I don't know which direction to go from time to time. I kind of try and treat it like an emotion such as fear, anger, guilt, blame... I try and treat it like a negative emotion that I have to remind myself to think past, to let go of.
Earlier today I felt through meditation that it is time to make myself vulnerable, and to get out of my comfort zone again. I am yet to find what exactly I need to do to accomplish this, though traveling comes to mind. Thinking independently comes to mind.
I dunno.. my thoughts.
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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AlphaFalfa
imagine


Registered: 06/16/08
Posts: 3,857
Loc: 3 Seconds Ago.
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Re: Im getting impatient for death [Re: ManianFH]
#13988479 - 02/19/11 02:37 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Actually just got that feeling today.
Wierd one isn't it?
i thought to myself, wouldn't it be sweet to finally know what death is in relation how we experience.
Still i have a readily available source of affection and to give affection, lots of good food and i have a dream of fishing/seeking out seafood in the Western Coast.
i love the idea that i might not have to work one day that all my food could be found through gardening and scavenging/hunting.
it seems magical to me...as if the beauty of the earth would seem even all that more magical.
-------------------- if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...
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dickpayne00
Adult



Registered: 01/15/07
Posts: 284
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Re: Im getting impatient for death [Re: AlphaFalfa]
#13988512 - 02/19/11 02:46 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I think that's the ultimate goal. Just to be ready to die. Not in a kill yourself manner like you said, just accomplished. I'm sure something will come down the line at some point. And if not eventually we'll get old. Yeah.
-------------------- The butcher with the sharpest knife has the warmest heart.
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