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obladi oblada



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Extreme self-consciousness 3
#13979735 - 02/17/11 04:19 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I have a horrible self-consciousness problem. I am always aware of myself, all the time. Its like the Buddhist term "mindfulness" but all the time! This leads me to be shy at times, while i wish to be an open person.
I am constantly analyzing myself, and sometimes can't help but pretend that others I know are watching me, and often i am showing-off what i am doing for people who arent there. It is very strange but i cant help it. This may also be related to the fact that i often have imaginary conversations with my friends or people i know, particularly someone whom i care especially what they think of me. Its exactly like if you were to daydream about talking to someone, but you cant stop it, and even when you arent talking to them, they are there, commenting on what you do! A few times during these conversations, upon getting myself something to eat, id accidentally grab two plates. 
Its not all the time, but usually after meeting someone or talking to someone whom i care about what they think of me, for instance if i meet a nice girl. This has been happening for as long as i remember.
Its not schizophrenia or hallucinations of any kind, but it really is irritating.
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aNeway2sayHooray
Cresley Wusher




Registered: 07/07/05
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I can relate
-------------------- Mad_Larkin said: Death is just a thang.
MrJellineck said: Profits, prophets. That's all you jews think about. sheekle said: life is drugs... and music... and cat...
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ModularMind
M.P.F.



Registered: 02/09/10
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Preparing yourself for potential passing circumstances. Seems normal to me.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
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Me too. You probably smoke too much pot.
I recommend booze.
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



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You sound a ton like me. I've never really thought about it much before, but I also create the imaginary conversations whenever I'm thinking about someone that I care for a lot. Any you're right, it IS because I seek others approval, and I care so much about their opinions.
I'd also have to guess that you're a natural empath. Your desires are that of an extrovert but your tendencies are introverted? Does that sound familiar at all?
Because that what I've been going through since high school. I just stopped smoking weed three days ago and it's already getting a lot better. I'm not saying that's the reason for you though, but being high all the time makes me really introverted and analytical.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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SS32
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Quote:
MisterMuscaria said: Me too. You probably smoke too much pot.
I recommend booze.
Booze helps, but once it's there, it's always there. I haven't smoked in over 3 months after for smoking 3 years virtually non stop and I can say without a doubt that that kind of mindset is here to stay. I can come back from the bar shitfaced, take a xanax, and still somewhere deep in my brain there's a little sober dude keeping an eye on what's going on. It can get annoying at times to say the least.
-------------------- Did he dream about dragons? Did he dream about deer? Did he whisper he names of friends who were near? What songs did they play, and how far away? Why did he whisper, why did she scream? What does the sound of a screen door mean? Who talks on the hill? Who goes to the cellar, can you feel the chill? Where does the river, when will the wind? How far are the mountains? Where do they end? Why would the church? Did the service begin? Tell me who died, and tell me who cried. Help me hide in the skin of a deer, my zippered-up bag in the mouth of a stag so swiftly I go through rows of does, it flows, it flows, it flows, it flows all over the hill where the green grass grows.
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Youshouldknowabc
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Can you really? O.o
The way that OP describes it makes it sound like it could be some sort of a problem. If it's not all in side your head and is effecting your daily life, than ya need to go talk to an expert who can help you. Sooner or later you'll get too deep into it and it will be very hard to stop the habit of talking to imaginary friends, or pretending they really do exist.
And we usually prepare for the future in our heads, not carry it out in real life...
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



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Quote:
MisterMuscaria said: Me too. You probably smoke too much pot.
I recommend booze.
 It's hilarious because it's so true
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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ModularMind
M.P.F.



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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Acaterpillar]
#13979847 - 02/17/11 04:41 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
i am showing-off what i am doing for people who arent there
I can juggle too.
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McTwist
Stoned Stranger


Registered: 01/22/07
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Acaterpillar]
#13979868 - 02/17/11 04:43 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Rabidbaboon said:I just stopped smoking weed three days ago and it's already getting a lot better. I'm not saying that's the reason for you though, but being high all the time makes me really introverted and analytical.
Sober me and high me are nearly two different people. Last night I was chillin with my friend and we smoked two bowls of weed topped with hash. The conversation went from involved to pretty much nothing. I left pretty early cause of that.
I find this is true for a few people I know. Even waking up the next morning after getting high affects my social skills which is why I've cut back a lot. I envy the people who can get stoned and communicate freely. Don't know how they do it. I know I can't.
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obladi oblada



Registered: 07/25/10
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Acaterpillar]
#13979887 - 02/17/11 04:48 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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it is surprising how many people can relate!
I dont smoke pot, but am naturally a philosophical person, contemplation and seeing the philosophical side of things, and this could be a reason. I dont know what an empath is.
I dont think its as serious as needing medical help, but something i will have to deal with or solve.
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The_Ghost
ゴースト


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Quote:
obladi oblada said: it is surprising how many people can relate!
Not really. I'm pretty sure this is just part of the developmental process of mental development for everyone. Some people get more fixated on it than others tho. It was a bit of a problem for me for a time (namely my high school stoner phase and recurring sub phases later) but eventually i got over it through social experience and psychedelic use (namely lsd).
-------------------- / / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / / The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks. May His Circuits Ever Function
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...



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It sounds more like your personality type than anything. Just having to learn to cope with your psyche in todays society, as society isn't really geared towards out type.
Maybe you're an empath, maybe not. Here's a description of what that entails: http://www.psi-zone.net/aboutme/empath.htm
Scroll down a little and start reading after "What is an empath?" in blue text. I don't agree with some of the psychic babble but it gets the idea across.
-------------------- Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu.. *Cough* *Cough* Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu... At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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McTwist
Stoned Stranger


Registered: 01/22/07
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You're like me. It's who you are. The more I get myself across, the more I gain confidence in myself and the more people respect me and my thoughts. You have to loosen your inhibitions a bit. And surround yourself with good people. Everything just kind of falls right into place after that.
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ModularMind
M.P.F.



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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: McTwist]
#13979978 - 02/17/11 05:04 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Real good advice.
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Kada
Asha'man


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Quote:
obladi oblada said: I have a horrible self-consciousness problem. I am always aware of myself, all the time. Its like the Buddhist term "mindfulness" but all the time! This leads me to be shy at times, while i wish to be an open person.
I am constantly analyzing myself, and sometimes can't help but pretend that others I know are watching me, and often i am showing-off what i am doing for people who arent there. It is very strange but i cant help it. This may also be related to the fact that i often have imaginary conversations with my friends or people i know, particularly someone whom i care especially what they think of me. Its exactly like if you were to daydream about talking to someone, but you cant stop it, and even when you arent talking to them, they are there, commenting on what you do! A few times during these conversations, upon getting myself something to eat, id accidentally grab two plates. 
Its not all the time, but usually after meeting someone or talking to someone whom i care about what they think of me, for instance if i meet a nice girl. This has been happening for as long as i remember.
Its not schizophrenia or hallucinations of any kind, but it really is irritating.
I used to be just like this until I just stopped caring so much about what people thought about me. You gotta build yourself up a bit and develop a ego until you just don't think about whether or not people are judging you. I stopped caring every second once I stopped caring about Everything being perfect in any way. I smoke a lot of weed and it doesn't effect me negativly at all all. My advice is to learn not to care so much. I am An emotional void most of the time, but honestly I prefer it that way.
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=gmV13eB0fa0
-------------------- ~The Cultivators Motherload~ "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein "There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama Live long and prosper.
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Salomon
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welcome to the silver hat club
i usually avoid people, because you never know whose out to fuck your shit up, intentionally or by other means. even if nobody is, i can't account for the shit that I'll end up fucking up. basically, I'd rather be off the radar than degrading the current quality of life that I'm experiencing. granted, it's difficult to improve it with out the risk. i suppose i over think things waaayyy too much. with any given situation, i run all possibly outcomes through my head, and the conclusion is almost always bad, and causes me to do nothing rather than something. if i do end up doing something after I've reached a negative conclusion, and it does in fact yield a negative consequence, then the situation gets run through my head over and over and over. while it's being replayed, i go through various variations on what i could have or should have done in the situation to yield a positive result. the whole thing is just a constant reminder that i fucked my shit up, even after the fact that i had reached a negative conclusion beforehand. adversely, if i don't do anything and avoid the situation, i do the exact same thing, but with what could have happened to yield a positive result, but doing something rather than nothing. this also becomes a constant reminder that i fucked shit up by not doing something because i could have had that positive result.
really, the only way that i can keep my thoughts from going in either direction that leads me into repetitive thoughts and self loathing is to do an action that yields a positive response. but that rarely happens because i stop myself from trying in the first place. this is just the tip of the iceberg too. i go through many many more mental mutilation, but i just don't want to write a damn book.
although i will make an par example of this:
stimulus: sees beautiful girl, that i don't know but would like to talk to and possibly start a relationship with.
mind must choose: walk up to her and have a conversation (Y/N?)
mind's reasoning, with at least 15 variations on each situation ending with the same general conclusion for each:
situation#1. you will try to start a conversation and she will ignore you: you awkward fuck situation#2. you will try to start a conversation and she will mace you and scream rape: you creepy fuck situation#3. you will try to start a conversation and she will look at you with disgust,: you ugly fuck situation#4. you will try to start a conversation and she will have a boyfriend: you unlucky fuck situation#5. you will try to start a conversation and she will like you, you'll start a relationship but will give you herpes on your face and dump you: forever alone situation#6. you will try to start a conversation and she will like you, you'll start a relationship and it will work out: nah, she'll get killed on your birthday you fag situation#7. : nothing happens, situation avoided
and so on and so fourth....
usiually ending in #7
but that shit is going through my head at all times for all situations, drives me fucking crazy.
even for this very post. i probably shouldn't have posted it. i probably shouldn't have opened this thread, or turned on my computer today, or made a shroomery account, or have been born. in fact, i should probably just an hero. goddamn i suck
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Salomon]
#13980097 - 02/17/11 05:23 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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funny thread.
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ModularMind
M.P.F.



Registered: 02/09/10
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: akira_akuma]
#13980116 - 02/17/11 05:27 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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"I smoke a lot of weed and it doesn't effect me negativly at all all."
Was that emphasis or the devils weed?
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bigmike7104
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Quote:
obladi oblada said: I have a horrible self-consciousness problem. I am always aware of myself, all the time. Its like the Buddhist term "mindfulness" but all the time! This leads me to be shy at times, while i wish to be an open person.
def sounds like social anxiety. also it's not mindfulness because your not focused on yourself but rather your focused on the thoughts about yourself. mindfulness would be when thoughts come into your awareness you observe that there without reacting to them then you let them go away on it's own.
-------------------- Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
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pfxtc
RUEXP?


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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: bigmike7104]
#13980169 - 02/17/11 05:37 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm the same way
Who gives a shit, I've come to realize it's just a part of how I am and a result of how I was raised. Nothing I can do about it but not let it bother me.
-------------------- koods said: Young male going by the name "Bassfreak" entered Worcester General complaining of a sharp pain in his buttock region after attending EDM event. Attending physician considered a possible diagnosis of acute rave anus, but upon further investigation it was determined there was nothing cute about patient's anus. Life-long trip report
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bigmike7104
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: bigmike7104]
#13980172 - 02/17/11 05:37 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
situation#1. you will try to start a conversation and she will ignore you: you awkward fuck situation#2. you will try to start a conversation and she will mace you and scream rape: you creepy fuck situation#3. you will try to start a conversation and she will look at you with disgust,: you ugly fuck situation#4. you will try to start a conversation and she will have a boyfriend: you unlucky fuck situation#5. you will try to start a conversation and she will like you, you'll start a relationship but will give you herpes on your face and dump you: forever alone situation#6. you will try to start a conversation and she will like you, you'll start a relationship and it will work out: nah, she'll get killed on your birthday you fag
situation 1: maybe she's having a bad day, maybe not in the mood to talk, not everyone in the world will be interested, maybe she's nervous, maybe she's psycho and she should probably be avoided.
situation 2: very unlikely to happen, if it does maybe she's been raped before or she's just crazy
situation 3: i would say most people wouldn't do that unless your saying shit that makes you look like a perv. if she does then maybe shes just a self centered bitch, all well move on not everyone is.
situation 4: people have boyfriends, try again and you'll find someone that won't
situation 5: not every relationship lasts forever, ware protection, deal with it and you'll find someone else eventually. and you say you'll be forever alone yet you would definitely be alone if you don't try
situation 6: tragic shit happens in life, can't avoid it
-------------------- Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
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obladi oblada



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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Kada]
#13980210 - 02/17/11 05:44 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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the ghost: yeah im sure its natural but I meant that im surprised that it is. I need to listen to the mushrooms! a few trips ago i learned that everyones mind works exactly the same, and that the things you think nobody should know about you happens in everyone. (getting off-topic but theres nothing wrong with that) I write and draw a lot during trips and i recall a page that says "SOMETIMES WE GET SICK" in green and yellow and at the time, in my childish scribblings, it meant that we all have a bad side and that is completely fine, in fact, it is unnatural to be flawless.
rabidbaboon: that is interesting i have never heard of that. I havent ever noticed anything like sensing others emotions, but i do tend to change personalities completely matching the types of people i talk to, butim not sure that this is anything
bigmike: you are right, its like mindfulness of my own thoughts, and recently, out of interest, i will catch a glimpse of a subconscious thought that we all have way down inside and pull it out and say it out loud so that i can observe it in the conscious world. it is quite interesting to see whats way down inside.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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i'd assume, (now i am just making an assumption, for realz) that anyone who has done mushrooms, even practiced certain practices, probably all do very similar things to what you are discribing. in alot of cases, probably, you'd find even more things... 
not a big deal, if you're worried about anything. hope you're not.
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Salomon
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: bigmike7104]
#13980238 - 02/17/11 05:49 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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you're an optimist, i can tell
i was exaggerating things a bit in that random example. but really, my mind is full of fuck.
and it's a vicious cycle
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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Natorade
LsDmThC


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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Salomon]
#13980252 - 02/17/11 05:52 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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to everything salomon said
once your caught up in that overanalytical cycle, its impossible to break out of it
similarly, i pretty much always choose situation #7
forever alone
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obladi oblada



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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Salomon]
#13980311 - 02/17/11 06:01 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said: you're an optimist, i can tell
i was exaggerating things a bit in that random example. but really, my mind is full of fuck.
and it's a vicious cycle
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bigmike7104
Stranger

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Re: Extreme self-consciousness *DELETED* [Re: Salomon]
#13980327 - 02/17/11 06:04 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Post deleted by bigmike7104Reason for deletion: double post
-------------------- Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
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bigmike7104
Stranger

Registered: 07/12/10
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: bigmike7104]
#13980335 - 02/17/11 06:06 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Salomon said: you're an optimist, i can tell
i was exaggerating things a bit in that random example. but really, my mind is full of fuck.
and it's a vicious cycle
if that was to me, i've dealt with anxiety for years so i know exactly whats it's like. i think most peoples mind is "full of fuck", it's just the nature of the ego, but what's important is how you deal with it.
i wouldn't say im an optimist though i try to be at times. but more than anything i just try to take things as it comes both good and bad and try to not let myself get in the way of opportunities.
-------------------- Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder



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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: bigmike7104]
#13980355 - 02/17/11 06:09 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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i'm currently in the process of beginning to focus my attention outward more.. and less inward. i think that's a good way to be doin'..
realize that everyone else is their own self, just as you are. and are dealing with many of the same trials that u seem to be dealing with alone... but we're all trying to comprehend the self and it's relation to "others"
"others", in this sense.. doesn't really exist. there are no "others".. just a whole bunch of selfs..
you are your self, i am my self.. he's his self and she's her self. just selfs all out and about. there are no "others".// so it's good to be self-conscious! just try to realize that you're not the only self out there! and at the same time there is only one self out there, but it permeates through each and every being in existence.
so to be talking to someone else, yyou are essentially talking to yourself.. so what is there to be afraid of?
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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Kada
Asha'man


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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: bigmike7104]
#13980409 - 02/17/11 06:20 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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situation#1. you will try to start a conversation and she will ignore you: you awkward fuck situation#2. you will try to start a conversation and she will mace you and scream rape: you creepy fuck situation#3. you will try to start a conversation and she will look at you with disgust,: you ugly fuck situation#4. you will try to start a conversation and she will have a boyfriend: you unlucky fuck situation#5. you will try to start a conversation and she will like you, you'll start a relationship but will give you herpes on your face and dump you: forever alone situation#6. you will try to start a conversation and she will like you, you'll start a relationship and it will work out: nah, she'll get killed on your birthday you fag
Thats when I realize it isn't me it's her. If she did that she is a cunt and not worth the 15 minutes it's going to take me to tell her how much of a bitch she is. Chances are she will cry, apologis and then give you a blowjob while she remembers how lucky she is to have you. Girls like it when you treat them kind of mean sometimes for some reason. It let's them know you won't take her shit and she will try harder to keep you since girls have to feel like the are the ones holding on not the other way around. Don't be more sensitive than your girl, she won't respect you for it.
You shouldnt worry about her acting like that or saying things like that. If she does go find someone who will respect you. Don't worry for a second if a girl acts like that. That's just learning to say away from bitter ass people. It isn't you it's them so stop worrying about that bs.
-------------------- ~The Cultivators Motherload~ "I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." -Robert A. Heinlein "There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophies. My brain and my heart are my temples; my philosophy is kindness."-Dalai Lama Live long and prosper.
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aNeway2sayHooray
Cresley Wusher




Registered: 07/07/05
Posts: 7,653
Loc: Orphic Trench
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Envix]
#13980431 - 02/17/11 06:24 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Envix said: i'm currently in the process of beginning to focus my attention outward more.. and less inward. i think that's a good way to be doin'..
realize that everyone else is their own self, just as you are. and are dealing with many of the same trials that u seem to be dealing with alone... but we're all trying to comprehend the self and it's relation to "others"
"others", in this sense.. doesn't really exist. there are no "others".. just a whole bunch of selfs..
you are your self, i am my self.. he's his self and she's her self. just selfs all out and about. there are no "others".// so it's good to be self-conscious! just try to realize that you're not the only self out there! and at the same time there is only one self out there, but it permeates through each and every being in existence.
so to be talking to someone else, yyou are essentially talking to yourself.. so what is there to be afraid of?
-------------------- Mad_Larkin said: Death is just a thang.
MrJellineck said: Profits, prophets. That's all you jews think about. sheekle said: life is drugs... and music... and cat...
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Salomon
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: bigmike7104]
#13980441 - 02/17/11 06:28 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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bigmike7104 said:
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Salomon said: you're an optimist, i can tell
i was exaggerating things a bit in that random example. but really, my mind is full of fuck.
and it's a vicious cycle
if that was to me, I've dealt with anxiety for years so i know exactly whats it's like. i think most peoples mind is "full of fuck", it's just the nature of the ego, but what's important is how you deal with it.
i wouldn't say im an optimist though i try to be at times. but more than anything i just try to take things as it comes both good and bad and try to not let myself get in the way of opportunities.
i wish i could just go with the flow and take things as they come, but the problem is it's all completely unintentional.
i would be the happiest man alive if i had a mind that functioned in a manor that was with out repetitive cycling, apathetic self contempt, and generally taking things way to seriously. i might have an outward appearance and mannerism that suggests otherwise, but i suppose that's just a method of coping with a underlying problem. or maybe I'm just crazy
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder



Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 25 days
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Salomon]
#13980468 - 02/17/11 06:32 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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try sitting in the dark and turning your brain off for a short bit/
meditation is key to self-improvement & control over outward behavior matching intention
it's like a shut down valve for when your brain gets too clogged-up w/ useless thinkings & repetitive/obsessive thought loops
cleans up the system then reboots so u can run fresh w/o having to deal w/ any of that nonsense inner dialogue constantly telling you what you are and how bad you are @ doin' thangs
see thru clear eyes. be thru clear mind
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obladi oblada



Registered: 07/25/10
Posts: 463
Loc: United States
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Envix]
#13980696 - 02/17/11 07:13 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Envix said: i'm currently in the process of beginning to focus my attention outward more.. and less inward. i think that's a good way to be doin'..
realize that everyone else is their own self, just as you are. and are dealing with many of the same trials that u seem to be dealing with alone... but we're all trying to comprehend the self and it's relation to "others"
"others", in this sense.. doesn't really exist. there are no "others".. just a whole bunch of selfs..
you are your self, i am my self.. he's his self and she's her self. just selfs all out and about. there are no "others".// so it's good to be self-conscious! just try to realize that you're not the only self out there! and at the same time there is only one self out there, but it permeates through each and every being in existence.
so to be talking to someone else, yyou are essentially talking to yourself.. so what is there to be afraid of?
You are right!
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: SS32]
#13982342 - 02/17/11 11:46 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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SS32 said:
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MisterMuscaria said: Me too. You probably smoke too much pot.
I recommend booze.
Booze helps, but once it's there, it's always there. I haven't smoked in over 3 months after for smoking 3 years virtually non stop and I can say without a doubt that that kind of mindset is here to stay. I can come back from the bar shitfaced, take a xanax, and still somewhere deep in my brain there's a little sober dude keeping an eye on what's going on. It can get annoying at times to say the least.
I agree. Also I have daily panic attacks.
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MisterMuscaria



Registered: 05/13/08
Posts: 27,646
Loc:
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Re: Extreme self-consciousness [Re: Kada]
#13982371 - 02/17/11 11:49 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Kada said:
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obladi oblada said: I have a horrible self-consciousness problem. I am always aware of myself, all the time. Its like the Buddhist term "mindfulness" but all the time! This leads me to be shy at times, while i wish to be an open person.
I am constantly analyzing myself, and sometimes can't help but pretend that others I know are watching me, and often i am showing-off what i am doing for people who arent there. It is very strange but i cant help it. This may also be related to the fact that i often have imaginary conversations with my friends or people i know, particularly someone whom i care especially what they think of me. Its exactly like if you were to daydream about talking to someone, but you cant stop it, and even when you arent talking to them, they are there, commenting on what you do! A few times during these conversations, upon getting myself something to eat, id accidentally grab two plates. 
Its not all the time, but usually after meeting someone or talking to someone whom i care about what they think of me, for instance if i meet a nice girl. This has been happening for as long as i remember.
Its not schizophrenia or hallucinations of any kind, but it really is irritating.
I used to be just like this until I just stopped caring so much about what people thought about me. You gotta build yourself up a bit and develop a ego until you just don't think about whether or not people are judging you. I stopped caring every second once I stopped caring about Everything being perfect in any way. I smoke a lot of weed and it doesn't effect me negativly at all all. My advice is to learn not to care so much. I am An emotional void most of the time, but honestly I prefer it that way.
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?xl=xl_blazer&v=gmV13eB0fa0
I was always taught that the ego was a horrific thing I needed to do away with. Maybe in my case it would help though.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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i realized pretty recently how important it is to have a strong foundational support for your mind... and how to otherwise just ignore it, in any other case, other then when you need help defending your point of view, which is your birthright.
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