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Shroom_i
Gatherer




Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 868
Loc: Zone Six (6)
Last seen: 7 years, 6 days
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How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. 7
#13977239 - 02/17/11 01:09 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'd like to credit "Upinthetrees" for inspiring me to write this out.
This story is completely and 100% truthful. I encourage you to ask questions and what not, but please, don't reply with negativity about my brother.
This may be too much information on the web for my taste, and I feel a little paranoid about it, but if it helps someone think for a second, and make a life changing choice, I'm willing to put it out there.
I'm just going to graze over the main points, because the story is so long and personal, it would take me an entire book to express it.
This will be scattered, poorly written, and not in order.
It started a year or two ago.
My neighbor, my BESTfriend, my fucking brother. He was around 13 or 14 when he began doing drugs. This was before I'd done anything more than taken a few drags off of a cigarette, when I thought weed was the devil, and anything harder than that meant you were a drug addict.
It started off innocent enough, he started smoking, cigarettes and weed. I would openly criticize his choices, and try to change him, to no avail. He begn having problems at home, tired of sneaking, and having no freedom. He felt alone, and like his family was against him, so he made a habit of running away for a few days, then coming home.
I remember sitting in his room, asking him to show me his bud, only a dime, but to me that was alot, telling him I'd give him $10 for it. I took it home, threw it near the woods, and pissed on it, just so he wouldn't be able to smoke it. I had no intentions of paying him, I was trying to help. I know what a dick move it was now being a regular toker, but again, I was trying to help.
Eventually the weed wasn't enough. He begn his downfall, and constantly chased the dragon. All he did was get into trouble over drugs. He was back and forth between states, pawned off on other family members to try to "straighten him out." He moved on from weed, to... anything.
Coke, acid, mushrooms, heroin, angel dust, any kind of pill he could find.
He ended up halfway across the country at a rehab facility near a family members house. It was a little less than a week before his birthday. No one told him, but for his 16th birthday his dad was going to surprise him by picking him up and bringing him home.
He had a NEED for attention, it was an addiction in itself.
He would "attempt suicide" to get put on watch, just for the attention, and company.
The last time he attempted this, he broke out, for the 3rd or 4th time, stole a car, ran into another teen he had a problem with, no serious injury as far as I know. Got arrested and sent to "real" jail. In what I firmly believe to be another bid for attention, begging for the help he needed, but couldn't find himself, he strung a noose up in his cell. I've never been able to ask what he used, tied it around his neck, and "kicked the chair" so to speak. He was found a short time later, but it wasn't short enough. He died at 15 years old. We weren't related by blood, but that was my brother. I've never been so.. devastated in my entire life. There was evidence that he tried to get himself out. He fucked his arm up pretty badly trying to get out. (It was already broken.)
I've come to terms with what happened, even though I can't believe he's gone. I picture him strung up i his dark cell, fighting for life. Clawing at a chance to get out of what he'd done.
I went through the typical gult, feeling like it's my fault, because he felt like no one cared. I wasn't as close with him while he was gone, but everytime he was back, it was like nothing changed, because it hadn't. He still put me before himself, and I did the same.
Now all I have left is water-stained pictures, and his name across my wrists.
I'm not sure where this is going.
I'm all for doing what you want. Your drug of choice is just that; YOUR drug of CHOICE.
Do whatever the fuck you want, just stop to think of how bad it can be. How quickly it can go from a good time, to a disaster. Just be careful guys, and if you see someone who needs help, give it to them.
Thanks.
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: [quote]destructo_low said: Prisoner's posts by percentage. Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044% Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956% [/quote] worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]
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JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13977256 - 02/17/11 01:16 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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all i can say is and sorry for your loss.
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P-O
#AnyoneButHarper



Registered: 05/13/09
Posts: 13,636
Loc:
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13977258 - 02/17/11 01:17 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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wow. thats an intense story. Sorry to hear about your bro
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Shroom_i
Gatherer




Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 868
Loc: Zone Six (6)
Last seen: 7 years, 6 days
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: P-O]
#13977268 - 02/17/11 01:26 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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thanks alot guys, I really appreciate it. I just hope it'll kind of help someone out or something, you never know.
It's helped me.
Thank you to all the great members of the community who make this place great. A home away from home.
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: [quote]destructo_low said: Prisoner's posts by percentage. Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044% Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956% [/quote] worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]
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Cakk


Registered: 01/30/10 
Posts: 1,362
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: P-O]
#13977275 - 02/17/11 01:29 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Sorry to hear it It must be really tough to lose a brother
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 15 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: P-O]
#13977276 - 02/17/11 01:30 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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eesh how long ago did this shit happen?
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Shroom_i
Gatherer




Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 868
Loc: Zone Six (6)
Last seen: 7 years, 6 days
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH] 2
#13977287 - 02/17/11 01:33 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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It's horrible. But, it's done, and I can't change, so I don't dwell on the negative. I feel blessed that I had him, and I have all the crazy memories, and stories. He was a good hearted guy who couldn't deal with his problems.
Maybe I'll update this tomorrow, but probably not. I'd like to be able to tell the story a little better. It's just a jumbled mess in my head.
And march will be 8 months.
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: [quote]destructo_low said: Prisoner's posts by percentage. Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044% Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956% [/quote] worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]
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bryguy27007
Cosmonaut



Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 10,525
Loc:
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Cakk]
#13977290 - 02/17/11 01:34 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Wow, that's really terrible. My best wishes go out to you.
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 15 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: bryguy27007]
#13977296 - 02/17/11 01:39 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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was he older than you?
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kirilan
dued



Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 3,791
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 16 days
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13977541 - 02/17/11 04:30 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm sorry about your loss. I don't know what else to say. It's a devastating story, I'm sorry you and your brother had to go through it.
Much love and good vibes
-------------------- "The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together" Carl Sagan
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Newbie
User of semicolons.



Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,710
Loc: SoCal
Last seen: 2 days, 16 hours
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13977546 - 02/17/11 04:36 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I can relate. My own mother committed suicide with pain meds when I was 17. Things in this house haven't been the same since. One day at a time, that's all that can really fix it.
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DrMambo
hamburger time



Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
Loc: 53rd & 3rd
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13977548 - 02/17/11 04:37 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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My uncle killed himself when I was that age.
-------------------- "Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"
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Newbie
User of semicolons.



Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 24,710
Loc: SoCal
Last seen: 2 days, 16 hours
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: DrMambo]
#13977550 - 02/17/11 04:38 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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My uncle killed himself in the garage with the car running just a year prior. It seems to run in the family.
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kirilan
dued



Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 3,791
Loc:
Last seen: 4 years, 16 days
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Newbie]
#13977553 - 02/17/11 04:42 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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-------------------- "The beauty of a living thing is not the atoms that go into it, but the way those atoms are put together" Carl Sagan
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DrMambo
hamburger time



Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Newbie]
#13977554 - 02/17/11 04:44 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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statistics do show such
Seeing my grandfather crying as he ordered flowers for his son's casket helped nullify suicide as a choice for me.
-------------------- "Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"
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gerryjarcia
biophiliac



Registered: 05/29/10
Posts: 1,889
Loc: the woods
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13977668 - 02/17/11 06:22 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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damn man, sorry to hear about losing your brother like that.
--------------------
"We are all intoxicated. We were born into an insane asylum, a world crazy-making. We believe what we see and hear. The real myth is the myth of sanity, of rationality: it's a disease that is eating away at the earth. All the poisons flow from our denial. We deny madness, we forget our crimes, we dismember the corpse, we imprison our children. We need poison to poison the poison, to remember the sacred nature of intoxication, the green body of the young god." ~ Dale Pendell
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Dosile Kouki
derp

Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13977740 - 02/17/11 07:03 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,799
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13977748 - 02/17/11 07:08 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Thank you for sharing this. Unfortunately, these things happen, and a lot more often than most of us drug users like to admit.
We all feel for your loss, and that of the loved ones of your soul brother. Life has a way of being cruel like that, unfortunately.
An important matter in this getting so bad as it is is the fact that your soul brother was underage when he got in contact with hard drugs. Hard drugs exert strong influence on people's impulse control, and at an age of 14, the impulse control mechanisms of the brain have usually nowhere near developed completely. It might have been a completely different story if this had happend at 24 and probably would have been different if he was 34 or 44. He might not have gotten into his spiral of reckless drug taking and if he had, living on his own, he might have broken free of it without rehab, and without the nightmare of being ayoung teen being bounced around between caregivers.
This increased susceptibility of the underage to addiction and deleterious developmental and behavioral effects, along with forced dependency on caregivers, are among the reasons, alongside legal ones, that we can only allow people to be a member of this website ages 18 and over.
It's my duty as a staffer to ask you: how old are you now?
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Asante]
#13977842 - 02/17/11 07:49 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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:vibes:
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13977933 - 02/17/11 08:32 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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i would like to take a second to thank u for posting this. i feel i am at rock bottom. i have had Suicidal Ideation almost my whole life even as a child. that is the one thing me and H.S.T. have in common. the one thing that draws me to him the most. i am a person of constant change. but the one comforting thing that has always stuck in my mind is the one true easy way out -suicide.
in truth, i think i was born at the wrong time or wrong era. i dont think or feel like i was meant for this world or time. i am an old soul or maybe have no soul. i am empty. purposeless. i feel any purpose i do or did have has maybe been replaced with the times/ society. most people i come across want to use and abuse me as a tool.
so i sit in my room, surrounded by 4 Walls of Hell. a Prison i have created for myself. i felt abandoned by the world at a young age, so at a young age i abandoned the world. now i have nothing, no-one, nobody. maybe i should have sent this in a PM i dunno didnt think it would come out this way..
sorry and thanx again
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Bassfreak
ManBearPig



Registered: 08/24/10
Posts: 18,014
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Mello Kitty]
#13977956 - 02/17/11 08:43 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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so how did he accidently commit suicide? seems like he made the decision to do it in advance, like it was obviously planned out
-------------------- Tom Brady is a God Free Tom Brady
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13978083 - 02/17/11 09:30 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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@RP-My brother did something similar. I don't have time to tell the story right now, but he got really fucked up on meth for many years, then went to opiates. He ended up shooting himself in the head in the bedroom of my Grandmother's house. My dad walked in to find him. Pretty fucked up shit. This was several years ago, but I'm still kinda learning to deal with it.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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gerryjarcia
biophiliac



Registered: 05/29/10
Posts: 1,889
Loc: the woods
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Mello Kitty]
#13978167 - 02/17/11 10:03 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
ellenallien said: i would like to take a second to thank u for posting this. i feel i am at rock bottom. i have had Suicidal Ideation almost my whole life even as a child. that is the one thing me and H.S.T. have in common. the one thing that draws me to him the most. i am a person of constant change. but the one comforting thing that has always stuck in my mind is the one true easy way out -suicide.
in truth, i think i was born at the wrong time or wrong era. i dont think or feel like i was meant for this world or time. i am an old soul or maybe have no soul. i am empty. purposeless. i feel any purpose i do or did have has maybe been replaced with the times/ society. most people i come across want to use and abuse me as a tool.
so i sit in my room, surrounded by 4 Walls of Hell. a Prison i have created for myself. i felt abandoned by the world at a young age, so at a young age i abandoned the world. now i have nothing, no-one, nobody. maybe i should have sent this in a PM i dunno didnt think it would come out this way..
sorry and thanx again
i read posts like these and feel at a loss for any real words of "comfort". i feel like anything said would somehow diminish where you are really at. i've only been on the shroomery for a few months but from what i've seen you post i can see that you are a sincere and genuine person.
my friend and i were talking the other day about how what we value, what we want others to value in us, is our authenticity and honesty. we were talking about how much of a struggle it is to be an "old soul", as you put it, in a time and culture where things like "depth", "sincerity" and "honesty" are not valued outright.
i guess i write all of this to try and empathize with you. i've dealt with depression my entire life. nothing like what you're describing but depression none the less.
i wish i had some sort of solid "help" i could offer you but the reality is i'm limited in my ability to truly offer anything of substance.
thanks for being honest, it's more than most people can ever muster.
--------------------
"We are all intoxicated. We were born into an insane asylum, a world crazy-making. We believe what we see and hear. The real myth is the myth of sanity, of rationality: it's a disease that is eating away at the earth. All the poisons flow from our denial. We deny madness, we forget our crimes, we dismember the corpse, we imprison our children. We need poison to poison the poison, to remember the sacred nature of intoxication, the green body of the young god." ~ Dale Pendell
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13978174 - 02/17/11 10:04 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Wow, so very young to die. That's sad. I'm sorry for your tragic loss.
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gerryjarcia
biophiliac



Registered: 05/29/10
Posts: 1,889
Loc: the woods
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: nicechrisman]
#13978191 - 02/17/11 10:10 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
nicechrisman said: @RP-My brother did something similar. I don't have time to tell the story right now, but he got really fucked up on meth for many years, then went to opiates. He ended up shooting himself in the head in the bedroom of my Grandmother's house. My dad walked in to find him. Pretty fucked up shit. This was several years ago, but I'm still kinda learning to deal with it.
wow. such a heart breaking story. my heart goes out to you and your family and your brother.
--------------------
"We are all intoxicated. We were born into an insane asylum, a world crazy-making. We believe what we see and hear. The real myth is the myth of sanity, of rationality: it's a disease that is eating away at the earth. All the poisons flow from our denial. We deny madness, we forget our crimes, we dismember the corpse, we imprison our children. We need poison to poison the poison, to remember the sacred nature of intoxication, the green body of the young god." ~ Dale Pendell
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4runner


Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13978267 - 02/17/11 10:32 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Sorry to hear about your loss Shroom_i. That really is tough.
I have had two suicides in my family and they can really be devastating. My step brother used a shotgun in his room while I and step-dad where out. Luckily i didn't walk into that room but I will never forget the sounds my step dad made that night. I think he was 18 and I was around 8 or 9.
My cousin at around 16 or 18 grabbed a hunting rifle and walked down by the pond to end his time on earth.
None of those where drug related, just teenage depression, mostly about girls I believe. Such a trivial problem but when you are that young... it just seems so big.
Quote:
nicechrisman said: @RP-My brother did something similar. I don't have time to tell the story right now, but he got really fucked up on meth for many years, then went to opiates. He ended up shooting himself in the head in the bedroom of my Grandmother's house. My dad walked in to find him. Pretty fucked up shit. This was several years ago, but I'm still kinda learning to deal with it.
When I heard that over this last summer it tripped me the fuck out. I was hanging out with him when he started getting back into meth and watched pretty helplessly as his life spiraled into the wrong direction. I remember once telling him we should hang out but asked him if he could do it sans meth. Then he kind of disappeared and I never saw him again. Really sad.
Edited by 4runner (02/17/11 10:33 AM)
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Dosile Kouki
derp

Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: 4runner]
#13978291 - 02/17/11 10:38 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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im so sorry to hear about Shroom_i's, chrisman's and annunikian's stories of these things.
It's such a to know that these things have happened to your loved ones.
   
   
  
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Mr. Anderson
πριν από το χρόνο κάποιου


Registered: 09/05/10
Posts: 2,677
Loc: Torn between the roots of...
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Dosile Kouki]
#13978312 - 02/17/11 10:44 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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How old is this kid?
Sorry to hear about your loss though, keep your head up.
--------------------
Disclaimer: All posts are completely fictional and or for educational purposes only.
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13978411 - 02/17/11 11:19 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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OP, I am sorry for your loss, these are the situations where you get to the limit of what words can express, again, I'm sorry to hear this sad story and and I wish you all the best and all the love, take care man.
As for the drugs, I often find that hardcore drug-use is a symptom rather then a cause, but that's just my view, people get something out of their drug use, it's always a fair-trade to the person doing it, for anybody who is in this situation or knows somebody in this situation, it's worth thinking about.
   
--------------------
Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 15 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: 13.step] 2
#13978485 - 02/17/11 11:41 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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rp is obviously underage, please let this kid slide.
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DrMambo
hamburger time



Registered: 04/06/04
Posts: 6,197
Loc: 53rd & 3rd
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH] 1
#13978507 - 02/17/11 11:46 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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it does seem that way
-------------------- "Yeah, he's a professor...... OF BEING A DOG!"
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mufasa
guerilla grower

Registered: 11/09/09
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Loc:
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: DrMambo]
#13978535 - 02/17/11 11:55 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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 sorry man
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
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Last seen: 15 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: DrMambo]
#13978536 - 02/17/11 11:56 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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his 15 year old friend killed himself 8 months ago, while they were younger at 14 he threw weed out he had bought from him. dude is at most 17 I'm leaning toward 16, he has a tattoo though, who knows could be 18.
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13978811 - 02/17/11 01:06 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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what cruel irony to get banned for a post like this.........
suicide is something that you have to be sure about, not something to attempt or what have you for attention. it's never nice to hear that somebody accidentally them self.
but an excellent reminder how drugs can lead people down a path like this, and why they're not for everybody. we could gripe in this thread about all of the things anybody could have done to stop this, or change his life, but it really doesn't matter. OP, I'm sorry it had such an impact on you, I'm sure we all wish he could have been happy and stuck around. i hope you don't feel at fault at all, because just as it is, you've got none.
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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GEncore
Authentic



Registered: 07/19/10
Posts: 2,654
Loc: Buenos Aires
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Salomon]
#13978970 - 02/17/11 01:44 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm sorry, man. I really have nothing else to say. I wish I did. Hopefully you trust that I'm saying it 100% from the bottom of my heart.
Also, if the OP is underage and someone decides to ban him ... wow. Come on, there are better candidates to ban, right?
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: GEncore]
#13978993 - 02/17/11 01:54 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yea seriously^ Whoever hits that ban button is a poo poo head.
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Humility
Working on it



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13979303 - 02/17/11 03:07 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Sounds like his problem was growing up in New Jersey. What a fucking shithole man.
And I don't mean that in terms of what people usually think. People come around where I live and cower up and act all silly like someone is going to hurt them. "THE HOOD" isn't NEARLY as bad as people make it out to be.
For sure there are people who will rob you, kill you, rape you, etc. They are few and far between. There are crackheads and dopeheads and assholes and skank bitches and all of that.
The thing about "THE HOOD" is that for the most part, despite your race or class or ethnicity (depending on where you live) people tend to leave you the FUCK alone if you do the same. This is an axiom that is all-too-often forgotten about poorer neighborhoods. If you're an armed individual living in an armed house and you don't give ANYBODY any shit or any mean mugs you will almost guaranteed be FINE to live your life in peace doing WHATEVER you want to do.
NJ is the exact opposite of that. There are a few inner-city areas but for the most part NJ is filled with suburban prisons. Neighbors watching neighbors, family members watching family members and the police and courts watching everyone. Everyone is corrupt and everyone does wrong. Kids grow up spoiled rotten with no idea of cultural relativism or fairness or equality or any of that shit. It's such a rat race, and everything is so fake living like that.
Living like people live, man I can't even imagine it. It's so terrible. IMO your friend needed clean drugs and a good place to use them along with people who were using responsibly and could have helped him to do the same.
Growing up in that shit as a person who is interested in and wants to use drugs involves a LOT of cognitive dissonance. You have everyone you care about telling you how much of a shithead you are when they don't know the first thing about life themselves.
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13979522 - 02/17/11 03:48 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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PrepH why the fuck do you even have to bring that into discussion here? WTF man? You of all people should keep it shut about things like this. Was that irony with the poo-poo head? I can't tell and since you where the only one ridding the age thing it would seem so, maybe you had good intentions but I can't see them, you suck mate.
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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Humility
Working on it



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: 13.step] 1
#13979588 - 02/17/11 03:57 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I don't see where the OP mentioned anything about his age.
That rule exists for a reason and this is a private community which people can voluntarily choose to be a member of (or not).
That said, why in the fuck would you go spoiling for a banning? There are plenty of <18 year olds flying under the radar here.
Why are you asking the OP how old he is and if he's older than the 15 year old etc. when he specifically made it a point to not post his age?
Some really nasty, grimy ass shit if you ask me. Mind your fucking business bro.
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13979717 - 02/17/11 04:15 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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making observations pisses you two off eh? good.
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13979765 - 02/17/11 04:24 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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You know you where way out of line you hemorrhoid (reliever) now admit it
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: 13.step]
#13979808 - 02/17/11 04:34 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Na I honestly didn't really mean to poke to get him baneed(he isn't)
Look(I'm an idiot for doing this but I hadn't even thought he was under age when I had asked if he was older than him, I was just curious then Wiccan said:> Quote:
Wiccan_Seeker said: Thank you for sharing this. Unfortunately, these things happen, and a lot more often than most of us drug users like to admit.
We all feel for your loss, and that of the loved ones of your soul brother. Life has a way of being cruel like that, unfortunately.
An important matter in this getting so bad as it is is the fact that your soul brother was underage when he got in contact with hard drugs. Hard drugs exert strong influence on people's impulse control, and at an age of 14, the impulse control mechanisms of the brain have usually nowhere near developed completely. It might have been a completely different story if this had happend at 24 and probably would have been different if he was 34 or 44. He might not have gotten into his spiral of reckless drug taking and if he had, living on his own, he might have broken free of it without rehab, and without the nightmare of being ayoung teen being bounced around between caregivers.
This increased susceptibility of the underage to addiction and deleterious developmental and behavioral effects, along with forced dependency on caregivers, are among the reasons, alongside legal ones, that we can only allow people to be a member of this website ages 18 and over.
It's my duty as a staffer to ask you: how old are you now?
so I was like went back and re-read it, regardless, the mod realized before I even did, I was being serious, if rp is underage I would like to see him slide. You DO realize though that doing this HOPEFULLY he sees WHAT I AM SAYING *ahem* and tells us he was born in 1967 and lying about his age to seem young, hip, and cool.
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Humility
Working on it



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13979859 - 02/17/11 04:42 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Did the guy mention his age anywhere?
I didn't see that; I saw mentions of his friend's age.
I don't see why there needs to be poking or prodding (Even by wiccan seeker) beyond that point.
Covering your own ass is just that. You don't need to come out like some detective asking a bunch of pointed questions. I just find that unnecessary and obtuse.
I find it to be quite distasteful myself. Too much authority-speak.
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PreparationH
apply daily


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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Humility]
#13979878 - 02/17/11 04:45 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Did ya read what I just posted? "Don't ban this one underage kid plz"(last night) "lie kid"(today)
and no poo poo head wasn't sarcastic it was +1'd at least one person got that.
Maybe I'll delete my posts so he comes in here and drops that he's 16, do you want that instead dad?
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13979890 - 02/17/11 04:49 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Hey, I am on the same side, I mean it would suck horribly to be banned over something like this, it just seemed to me that right off the bat you where poking at the age thing, hey, sorry if I misunderstood it, I understand that unfortunately for him, this is the policy of the site and there should be no exceptions to the rule, if the mods know you are underage they should ban you, but if they don't it's your responsibility, we have a warning.
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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PreparationH
apply daily


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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: 13.step]
#13979904 - 02/17/11 04:51 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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exactly, I'm 20 years old, look at my registration date. If RP didn't know before he'll know now, I bet he was born in 1989.
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Cellzaa
Stranger
Registered: 02/17/11
Posts: 98
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13980162 - 02/17/11 05:35 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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it woulda been worse if it was ur real blood brother. dont wrry bout it too much. i just crashed and totaled my car
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Cellzaa]
#13980200 - 02/17/11 05:41 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Dude...what did you do to piss vinsue off? That guys never gives bad ratings
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 15 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: 13.step]
#13980218 - 02/17/11 05:46 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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that's vinsues oops I gurantee it, I'll pm him now lol
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13980288 - 02/17/11 05:58 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Lol...I thought we had witnessed a first...
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Cellzaa]
#13980339 - 02/17/11 06:06 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cellzaa said: it woulda been worse if it was ur real blood brother. dont wrry bout it too much. i just crashed and totaled my car 
na bonds can be just as big as brothers, my best friend I met when I was in second grade, he's part of my family.
"Brotha from anotha motha" not just a saying it's true.
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imagine
Psychic



Registered: 09/24/05
Posts: 758
Loc: CA
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13980356 - 02/17/11 06:10 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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should we get back to the topic or keep "lol"'ing?
OP, where were this kids parents?
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Cellzaa
Stranger
Registered: 02/17/11
Posts: 98
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13980358 - 02/17/11 06:10 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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lol i pmed him saying thanks for the ratings and i said ill give him 5 stars as well..only til i realized i couldnt give him 5 stars due to the 50 limit post xD but ay shit happens.
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masterfluffypants
The Psilocybin Psychospawn



Registered: 10/31/10
Posts: 3,312
Loc: Electric Ladyland
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13980366 - 02/17/11 06:12 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I feel for you man. My uncle shot himself in the head last week.
No es bueno man.
People really have to cherish life because at any moment, with the flick of a switch, it can all go away. People take other peoples feelings for granted and its not cool. But touching story. I hope we can all learn a lesson from this.
-------------------- "You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?" "Mmm...All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly."
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: imagine]
#13980374 - 02/17/11 06:14 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
imagine said: should we get back to the topic or keep "lol"'ing?
OP, where were this kids parents?
i'm guessing they weren't in prison with him
Quote:
Got arrested and sent to "real" jail. In what I firmly believe to be another bid for attention, begging for the help he needed, but couldn't find himself, he strung a noose up in his cell. I've never been able to ask what he used, tied it around his neck, and "kicked the chair" so to speak. He was found a short time later, but it wasn't short enough.
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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Shroom_i
Gatherer




Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 868
Loc: Zone Six (6)
Last seen: 7 years, 6 days
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Salomon]
#13981075 - 02/17/11 08:20 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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You're never a shell. You just haven't taken the time to search for the light in your situation. I know it sounds cliche, but in most cases there are some good things that you don't realize about everything.
And to Wiccan_Seeker, I'm glad that you took the time to be a good mod and ask me that. I am legally able to visit this site, and would be more than happy to discuss it further in a pm if you'd like. I just don't really want to throw my age out there.
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: [quote]destructo_low said: Prisoner's posts by percentage. Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044% Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956% [/quote] worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]
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Shroom_i
Gatherer




Registered: 10/13/10
Posts: 868
Loc: Zone Six (6)
Last seen: 7 years, 6 days
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13981145 - 02/17/11 08:34 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Wow guys, I just finished reading all the posts, and thanks to all those who were rooting for me, but I am indeed old enough to post here.
I have his name among several other tattoos, most of which were professional, all of them since I was 18.
He was a few years younger than me, but he was still a cool ass dude, and way too grown up for his age.
Thanks for all the support guys. I Love this place.
And I'm not sure who it was that said that if mods know your underage, it shouldnt matter, I really hate to say it, but I agree. If it was known that you were underage, there are far too many legal repercussions of being allowed to stay.
Just keep your head down, and remember your fake birthday if you are.
But again to Wiccan_Seeker, if you'd like to pm me I can provide a photo of myself and proof of DOB in hand if it comes down to that.
-------------------- Prisoner#1 said: [quote]destructo_low said: Prisoner's posts by percentage. Smart and witty - 9.9999922409044% Kind and caring - 0.0000077590956% [/quote] worthy of a facepalm - 90%[/quote]
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
Last seen: 15 hours, 43 minutes
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13981242 - 02/17/11 08:50 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Nice. Welcome.
edit: hmmm yea actually I'm gonna need proof too, PM me your information and I'm gonna need your SS# for verification mmkay.
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Legend
RIP Sasha



Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13981275 - 02/17/11 08:56 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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I'm really sorry to here this man. I lost a good friend in high school due to OD on painkillers. She passed out on the bus on the way to school. Everyone thought she just fell asleep, or had a hangover or something. So they laughed and drew on her, and messed with her like teenagers do, and it ended up she had died sometime during that, while on the bus. No one know if it was on purpose or accident. But things happen, and it's going to get us down. You just have to get threw it. Good vibes man, we all feel you.
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No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind. [url=]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]Are you lost?
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TheHandOfDoom
Sister Fister


Registered: 12/07/08
Posts: 802
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Legend]
#13981508 - 02/17/11 09:38 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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HOLY SHIT. Girl O.D.s on bus on way to school, passes out, and people draw on her. Assholes shoulda checked to see if shes OK. I hope they feel good about themselves for that move.
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PreparationH
apply daily


Registered: 03/28/05
Posts: 18,306
Loc: Amsterdam
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: TheHandOfDoom]
#13981614 - 02/17/11 09:54 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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probably didnt know she took drugs
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Legend
RIP Sasha



Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: PreparationH]
#13981698 - 02/17/11 10:07 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Yeah they are assholes. And it makes me sick thinking about it.
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No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind. [url=]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]Are you lost?
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masterfluffypants
The Psilocybin Psychospawn



Registered: 10/31/10
Posts: 3,312
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Legend]
#13981710 - 02/17/11 10:10 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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People are just fucked up like that. They would rather make a fool of you than to help a person in need.
-------------------- "You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?" "Mmm...All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly."
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Luc1d
Listener


Registered: 01/03/11
Posts: 1,598
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: masterfluffypants]
#13981734 - 02/17/11 10:13 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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This thread is so deep. Aghhh, fuck suffering
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Legend
RIP Sasha



Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Luc1d]
#13981744 - 02/17/11 10:15 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind. [url=]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]Are you lost?
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Asante
Mage


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,799
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13981761 - 02/17/11 10:18 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
But again to Wiccan_Seeker, if you'd like to pm me I can provide a photo of myself and proof of DOB in hand if it comes down to that.
I'll take your word for it, I'm glad that's out of the way.
-------------------- Omnicyclion.org higher knowledge starts here
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masterfluffypants
The Psilocybin Psychospawn



Registered: 10/31/10
Posts: 3,312
Loc: Electric Ladyland
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Legend]
#13981766 - 02/17/11 10:19 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Heres a shroom for all those who have fallen prey of death's ugly fingers Peace love and unity to all my shroom brothers and sisters and may your days be long and filled with joy and prosperity. AND MUSHROOMS
-------------------- "You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?" "Mmm...All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly."
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CidneyIndole
www.shroomery.OG



Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 4,761
Loc: Love's Secret Domain
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Shroom_i]
#13981862 - 02/17/11 10:38 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
Shroom_i said: It started off innocent enough, he started smoking, cigarettes and weed. I would openly criticize his choices, and try to change him, to no avail. He begn having problems at home, tired of sneaking, and having no freedom. He felt alone, and like his family was against him, so he made a habit of running away for a few days, then coming home.
This was me at that age. I think of it a lot. Sometimes I wish things had gone differently. I felt like my parents were attacking my freedom, and just hurting me more, so I rebelled violently.
Which lead to this:
Quote:
Eventually the weed wasn't enough. He begn his downfall, and constantly chased the dragon. All he did was get into trouble over drugs. He was back and forth between states, pawned off on other family members to try to "straighten him out." He moved on from weed, to... anything.
That is a hard ugly life, and I am sorry to say that I understand why your brother could not deal with it any longer.
After a while you even kind of lose sense of who you are and where you came from. You just know that shit got really fucked up, and you don't have a do-over. Sometimes people can't see past that.
I am really sorry for your loss. 
And if there are any parents reading this, who just caught your kid using drugs. GIVE THEM A FUCKING HUG AND THEN TALK TO THEM GOD DAMN YOU. Don't talk down, don't preach, try like hell to understand. If you don't you might just drive your kid away from you forever, or help set them on a path that will destroy them.
People will make their own choices, but kids still need their parents. And not just the judgment and rules of their parents. They need love, support, understanding, non-judgmental guidance. If your emotionally-disturbed teen is taking drugs and you reinforce to them the message that they're a fuckup and never will go anywhere, then this is what is likely to happen.
This is, how I see it, another casualty of the drug war. Government brainwashes society so badly that even HIPPIES WHO SMOKED THE STUFF WHEN THEY WERE KIDS are freaking out when they catch their kids smoking pot. Sometimes that situation works out "normally." Sometimes it does not. The parents freak out, try to put a stranglehold on the child's social life, giving them even greater incentive to rebel.
I bet this scenario is more common than anyone realizes. Sad, and ironic.
-------------------- ------------------------ I am me. We are You.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
Last seen: 4 years, 6 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: CidneyIndole]
#13981886 - 02/17/11 10:42 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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that reminds me of the mother that posted on the shroomery about her daughter who had taken mushrooms and was having personality disorder type symptoms and stuff. i thought it was really cool she came to us to try to understand about it instead of just raging against her kid.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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CidneyIndole
www.shroomery.OG



Registered: 05/16/05
Posts: 4,761
Loc: Love's Secret Domain
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: nicechrisman]
#13982036 - 02/17/11 11:03 PM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
nicechrisman said: that reminds me of the mother that posted on the shroomery about her daughter who had taken mushrooms and was having personality disorder type symptoms and stuff. i thought it was really cool she came to us to try to understand about it instead of just raging against her kid.
The world really does need more of that.
I almost feel like there should be some kind of better social programs in place to prevent this kind of thing.
Level-headed, sane, emotionally-mature parents that were able to offer proper guidance to their children seem to be in demand. I haven't personally known very many, in my lifetime.
-------------------- ------------------------ I am me. We are You.
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gerryjarcia
biophiliac



Registered: 05/29/10
Posts: 1,889
Loc: the woods
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: nicechrisman]
#13983250 - 02/18/11 06:31 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
nicechrisman said: that reminds me of the mother that posted on the shroomery about her daughter who had taken mushrooms and was having personality disorder type symptoms and stuff. i thought it was really cool she came to us to try to understand about it instead of just raging against her kid.
i remember that mom. she was awesome and showed true concern for her daughters well being. we need more parents like her.
--------------------
"We are all intoxicated. We were born into an insane asylum, a world crazy-making. We believe what we see and hear. The real myth is the myth of sanity, of rationality: it's a disease that is eating away at the earth. All the poisons flow from our denial. We deny madness, we forget our crimes, we dismember the corpse, we imprison our children. We need poison to poison the poison, to remember the sacred nature of intoxication, the green body of the young god." ~ Dale Pendell
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Cellzaa
Stranger
Registered: 02/17/11
Posts: 98
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: gerryjarcia]
#13983253 - 02/18/11 06:35 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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link guys?
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DrGuano

Registered: 12/06/08
Posts: 740
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: masterfluffypants] 1
#13983299 - 02/18/11 07:22 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
masterfluffypants said: People are just fucked up like that. They would rather make a fool of you than to help a person in need.
Seeing a teenager fall asleep on the way to school at 7AM wouldn't exactly raise alarms for most people I don't think. I never drew on them, but everyone slept on my bus in highschool
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4runner


Registered: 07/16/10
Posts: 15,406
Loc: State of Jefferson
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: Cellzaa]
#13983476 - 02/18/11 08:35 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Mello Kitty
Beautiful Burnout



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 8,556
Loc: Sanriotown, Harmonyland
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: 4runner]
#13983488 - 02/18/11 08:39 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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this thread has been pretty good as far as spreading awareness
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masterfluffypants
The Psilocybin Psychospawn



Registered: 10/31/10
Posts: 3,312
Loc: Electric Ladyland
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: How my 15 year old brother accidentally committed suicide. [Re: DrGuano]
#13984227 - 02/18/11 11:51 AM (12 years, 11 months ago) |
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Quote:
DrGuano said:
Quote:
masterfluffypants said: People are just fucked up like that. They would rather make a fool of you than to help a person in need.
Seeing a teenager fall asleep on the way to school at 7AM wouldn't exactly raise alarms for most people I don't think. I never drew on them, but everyone slept on my bus in highschool
I mean in the sense of drawing on her face and shit. This same principle goes for if someone gets shitfaced and passes out at a party or social gathering. If someone knocks out, it is a 99.99999% chance people will do something stupid to that person. But I guess that person is also at fault for getting so fucked up. But still. I have yet to meet someone that wouldnt wake up if they just fell asleep because they were tired and people started fucking with them.
-------------------- "You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?" "Mmm...All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly."
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