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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: 13.step]
#13928813 - 02/08/11 05:17 PM (13 years, 11 days ago) |
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The righteous go to heaven, the rest of us face seven years of tribulations including a bid for world domination by Cherokee or his successor. It'll culminate in an epic battle at a place called Megiddio. Jesus Himself will lead the army of God's Word, against Cherk's forces. Cherk will be finally cast down and enchained, but not before many on both sides have fallen.
Is my understanding of the story.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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Chubba
Vape hungry

Registered: 07/05/07
Posts: 6,785
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: RonaldFuckingPaul]
#13928818 - 02/08/11 05:18 PM (13 years, 11 days ago) |
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Check out this part of their contract
Quote:
If subscriber loses his/her faith and/or the Rapture occurs and subscriber is not Raptured (aka is "left behind") EE-BP disclaims any liability; no refund will be tendered.
Win/win.
If there's a rapture, you're gone. If there isn't a rapture, you're still here, but you don't get your money back.
Airtight.
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ROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: 13.step]
#13928825 - 02/08/11 05:19 PM (13 years, 11 days ago) |
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I should start a service to take care of magic mushrooms.
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Doc_T]
#13928933 - 02/08/11 05:34 PM (13 years, 11 days ago) |
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That really doesn't make much sense, I remember the story now, it is, if I remember correctly a nice satire against the roman empire but when taken literally a huge pile of steaming shit.
So wait, rapture comes, the rightous disappear suddenly, cherk persuades to loot and move into their houses and to do heroin presumably, then jesus comes back with the rightous, who would make a pretty shitty army if they're still going by the turn the other cheek stuff, then they battle it out.Now here it gets hazy, where do the dead go? Or they simply stay dead? Or if you defect from cherk's army you go to heaven? Where is hell in all this? And if I say fuck you guys I'm not having any of this I'll go watch it on the telly, what happens to me?
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: 13.step]
#13928948 - 02/08/11 05:37 PM (13 years, 11 days ago) |
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No, the righteous stay in heaven. The Army of Yahweh is made up of second-chancers.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: 13.step]
#13928964 - 02/08/11 05:39 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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Quote:
13.step said: That really doesn't make much sense, I remember the story now, it is, if I remember correctly a nice satire against the roman empire but when taken literally a huge pile of steaming shit.
Right?
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#13928977 - 02/08/11 05:41 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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The dead will be raised and made whole after the battle, including the righteous among the fallen.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Doc_T]
#13929448 - 02/08/11 07:10 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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So if I stay out of it...I get away no problem? I don't think I would like the christian heaven to much, seems boring, what are those guys supposed to do up there? Or can you fly trough space? That would be worth it, to bad they didn't know what space was 2000 years ago...
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: 13.step]
#13929461 - 02/08/11 07:12 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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If you don't get into heaven, what other options are there? The world ends soon after the battle, everybody needs to be somewhere.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Doc_T]
#13929552 - 02/08/11 07:31 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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Oh wait, so the world ends after the battle, no more earth. Then how does that company make any sense to people who believe in the rapture? I mean if they believe they will go to heaven and then th world would end, why pay a guy who would go to hell probably to take care of your pets. Wouldn't you want them to at lest not go trough eternal suffering?
This story starts to get complex...
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: 13.step]
#13929566 - 02/08/11 07:35 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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The pets have seven years on earth from the time of the rapture until the battle at Meggidio/Armageddon. The world doesn't end but it gets remade as the Kingdom of Heaven on Earth, with those from the rapture serving as the most holy of servants.
So unless your pet is a tortoise or something, seven years should be enough. Plus, maybe all dogs go to heaven.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Doc_T]
#13929609 - 02/08/11 07:43 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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I can't wait until all the crazy people disappear.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Doc_T]
#13929610 - 02/08/11 07:43 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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My brain is hurting, there are so many lose ends, I will stop now, and if any of you guys on here have pets, I'll take care of them when the rapture starts, pm for details...
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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Doc_T
Random Dude




Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: 13.step]
#13929620 - 02/08/11 07:45 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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It's all laid out in Revelations, you can read it for yourself. Or read Robert Heinlein's interpretation of it.
-------------------- You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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13.step
cynical bastard



Registered: 08/30/09
Posts: 2,210
Last seen: 9 years, 3 months
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Doc_T]
#13929628 - 02/08/11 07:47 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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I actually read revelations, but it was a long time ago, can't remember half of it to be honest.
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Not to be taken seriously by any means!
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Doc_T]
#13929630 - 02/08/11 07:47 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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I've tried to read Revelations but the symbolism is just too dense, I can never tell what the fuck I'm supposed to be reading. It's like a DMT trip except psychotic and ancient Greek.
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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masterfluffypants
The Psilocybin Psychospawn



Registered: 10/31/10
Posts: 3,312
Loc: Electric Ladyland
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#13929649 - 02/08/11 07:50 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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Tom cruise will take care of your pets
-------------------- "You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?" "Mmm...All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly."
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Sophistic Radiance
Free sVs!



Registered: 07/11/06
Posts: 43,135
Loc: Center of the Universe
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: masterfluffypants]
#13929656 - 02/08/11 07:51 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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Quote:
masterfluffypants said: Tom cruise will take care of your pets

NOOOOOOO
-------------------- Enlil said: You really are the worst kind of person.
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masterfluffypants
The Psilocybin Psychospawn



Registered: 10/31/10
Posts: 3,312
Loc: Electric Ladyland
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: Atheist service to take care of your pets when the Rapture comes [Re: Sophistic Radiance]
#13929670 - 02/08/11 07:54 PM (13 years, 10 days ago) |
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HIDE YO PETS!
-------------------- "You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?" "Mmm...All the time. It's called mescaline, it's the only way to fly."
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