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OfflineMeph
Synesthesiac

Registered: 09/01/02
Posts: 1,568
Loc: Qu?bec
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
My life
    #1391539 - 03/19/03 01:35 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Yeah. I don't know where to start.

I've been feeling down these past few days. There's a lot of stress, and it's taking away my motivation.

There are many factors to this stress. First things first.

I've only seen my girlfriend once since the past three weeks, because I've been busy, and she left for Cuba during march break, and the next weekend, she went on a ski trip. So this weekend is the first weekend I will get to see her in a while... by the way, we've been going out for almost three months now, and things were doing great.

Yesterday we had an argument, or an intense discussion, about the word "love". Now, that can't be good. I know she's always had problems with that word, we've talked about it before, and I understand, because it is not to be taken lightly. But I do love her, and she's told me she loved me many times, too. But why did we have an argument in the first place, if everything was good? I don't know. The only possible option that I see is that she is re-considering what she has told me... but on the other hand, she told me she wasn't, and that everything was still the same.

She's having her period right now by the way, so it's probably influencing her mood.

Well, after this long discussion, she finally told me again that she loved me. But I don't know if she did it to shut me up or if she meant it... which is very stressful, I'm sure you all understand.

And now, today, she asked me if we could possibly see each other on Friday instead of Saturday, because some of her friends are having a party on Saturday, and she wants to go. But the thing is that on Saturday mornings she has ukrenian school, so she'd have to leave early in the morning. I asked myself, "Geez, does she want to see me after three weeks of not being able to, or does she want to go to that party, where people are probably just going to get drunk and act like jerks?". So, after having another argument about it with her today, she ended up telling me that she wouldn't go. But then again, is it because she wants to see me more, or is it just to shut me up?

I don't want to be put in a situation where I will think that I love her more than she loves me. That would put me to a lower level than her, and I don't want that. I want things to be equal and balanced. I don't want to be vulnerable when I'm with her, and vice versa.

I also told myself, "If MY friends were having a party, even if it was going to be the best party of my life, I wouldn't go, because I really miss my girlfriend, and I want to see her in the best possible circumstances..."

I told her, "If you knew you were going to die next week, which would you choose? Don't answer, it's not a question. I'm making a point."

I don't want to be taken for granted, same for her I'm sure.

Well, that's a summary of what's going on with my girlfriend. There are other things, too.

School. Nothing but stress. I'm failing, or am in the process of failing, two classes. It wouldn't be as bad if my parents weren't constantly bugging me about it.

And my 17 year old sister left the house, she's going to live at a two hour drive from here. I'll miss her. And she's bringing our dog with her, and I love my dog, she helps me forget that there are so many idiots in this world.

Idiots, yes. Bush and Saddam are only two of them. I hate war, I don't want it to happen, even though it's possibly just thirty minutes away now. I don't want people to die... I want to help, I want to be heard, but I'm useless, and I hate it. I'd die without hesitating to stop it all.

Tell me what you think. I feel misreable. I put all my trust into my girlfriend, and now, I have the feeling that things are going backwards, and I don't want that. I need her.

There, I just made myself shed a tear for the first time in months. It almost felt good.


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I'm a bipedal carbon-based pseudo-random number generator.

Demonstration: 152.



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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: My life [Re: Meph]
    #1392958 - 03/19/03 08:59 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I dunno about saying "I love you" too much reducing its meaning. If you love someone then you love someone and saying it lots shouldn't make any difference. People have said that to me in relationships before too and I don't buy it. (Commenting about that thing, not about your relationship...)

Sorry to hear that things are not going so well. Re the relationship, I read a book called "The dance of intimacy" and it says in there that when you are feeling insecure, the best thing to do is get more heavily involved in your own thing ie activities you enjoy, school whatever. Can't remember the reason it said, but in my experience it stops that- one person running away more as the other worries/clings more- thing. It also provides a diversion kinda so you can get your mind off the relationship, and feel good b/c of acheivements/other things. Anyway take or leave that advice.

Can you get another pet?


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


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Invisiblecortex
[ H ] ψ = [ E ] ψ
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 15,167
Loc: Gedankenexperiment
Re: My life [Re: enotake2]
    #1393040 - 03/19/03 09:32 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Hey meph,

I was in a serious relationship for about a year and a half. After about three months or so, we, too, started throwing around "I love you"'s and what-not, and we soon both developed very very bad jelousy problems, however neither of us were able to admit it. Things just kept piling up an top of eachother;and it got to the point where nether of us were really "allowed" to do much unless it was with eachother.

The situation here seems a little dfferent though, since the you seem only upset because you just want to see her, while she wants to go to a party with friends. I would really strongly recommend you do not get started with the "Well if I did that YOU would get mad" or, "I wouldn't do that to YOU" or whatever. I can tell you from experience, that is only going to lead to disaster. And I agree with enotake in that you should get involved in your own activities to keep your mind busy. I know it may be hard, but if I were in your place right now, I would let her do her thing with her friends on Saturday, but make sure you both really enjoy your time with eachother on Friday. Again, if you start keeping eachother from doing the things you like and you let the jealousy build and build, it can only get worse; ease back and try to relax a little now while it's still relativily early in the relationship.

-=-ctk-=-


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OfflineSkikid16
fungus fan

Registered: 06/27/02
Posts: 5,666
Loc: In the middle of the nort...
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: My life [Re: Meph]
    #1396559 - 03/20/03 11:51 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Dude, do you want my honest opinion and advise on your relationship situation?  Well too bad, cause you're getting it anyways.  :wink:

I think that you feel more than she does, when she was away, you realized how much you loved being with her, she kinda realized how nice freedom is.  I'm not saying that she doesn't like you, on the contrary, she most likely does, but you have to realize she's been on her own for nearly 3 weeks, give her a chance to come back to you.

  Like all the others have said, do your own thing, hang out with your buddies on Saturday night, clean your room, or get stoned and masterbate all night long, but whatever you do, tell her you think it'd be cool if she'd go to the party to hang out with her friends.  First off, it'll make you look good in her eyes, second, and this is the worse case scenario, if she is going to see some guy, it'll be that much harder for her to do anything with him, cause you did something nice.     

But most likely you won't give her her space, you'll try to, but then you'll think she doesn't like you, then you'll cling on tighter cause you think you are losing her, then she'll get suffocated and break it off.  You sound like me. 

Good luck, and if you truly like this girl, give her the space she needs, that way if she does come back to you, you'll know she likes you, if not, well you get to move on.  Whatever happens, realize, 1) this relationship is really short (not to diminish the value, but it is short) 2) there are so many girls out there, she might be special, but so is the chick you meet in the bar after you've had 7 Jack and Cokes.  :tongue:


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Re-Defeat Bush in '04


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Offlineenotake2
Stop Bush's war
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Registered: 01/30/03
Posts: 1,457
Loc: Comfy chair in my lounger...
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: My life [Re: Skikid16]
    #1396587 - 03/21/03 12:27 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Well I was kinda saying that focusing on your own thing would be good for you rather than good for the relationship, but it would probably be good for the relationship too, ya, I guess.

Edit: I was drunk and incoherant when I wrote that. I did mean good for both.


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Computer games don't affect kids. I mean if Pacman affected our generation as kids, we'd all be running around in a darkened room, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.

"Being bitter and hateful is like drinking a vial of poison and hoping the other person gets sick" FreakQLibrium

"My motto from here on out is: If someone or something (including me) in my life is conducting themselves in such a way that they can be seen on Jerry Springer, it's time to take out the garbage!!! When you stop taking their behaviour personally and see their antics as a true reflection on their character, it becomes absolutely nauseating." Anon. on abusive relationships.


Edited by enotake2 (03/21/03 05:42 PM)


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