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Shop: Kraken Kratom Kratom Capsules for Sale   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Anonymous #1

S&M, manipulation & fear
    #13846528 - 01/25/11 08:06 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

I few months ago I met this guy. He seemed awesome! We talked so much that, even though I'm shy, I confessed to him that I've always had submissive S&M fantasies but never acted on them. They're very deep, very perverted. So, he told me he had always had dominant fantasies.

Well, we acted out on these. Time went by and I've found out that he has a lot of mental health issues, as well as serious alcohol addiction. I believe that he may be manipulating me. Unfortunately, the idea that I'm being manipulated is a major turn on. I don't know what to do! He's actually gone past my limits and disregarded our "safe word". He's hurt me physically and scared me verbally way past the point of comfort. I've tried to breakup with him but he finds a way to manipulate me into seeing him again. I know it would seem easy to tell me just to be strong, but this is a SERIOUS fucking mind game that I can't handle. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO! Also, I am EXTREMELY strong. I've survived a lot of shit and have become stronger from it. IT'S JUST THAT THIS KINK I HAVE IS CAUSING ME TO STAY IN THIS POTENTIALLY VERY DANGEROUS RELATIONSHIP!

Any tips?

UPDATE: This is a HORRIBLE situation. I've formed an extreme attachment to this guy who'll probably destroy my life if I let it continue. He demands to see me all the time (of course, he masks his demands with various guilt trips and subtle language), and I'm falling behind on my work/various projects due to lack of time. He keeps me up late so that I drag through work. It's awful! I actually feel like I'm in love with him. I'm going to look into getting professional help to ease out of this situation. Its the only thing I can think of. Seriously, he is an expert manipulator, maybe even has a genius for it - and I'm the perfect victim.


Edited by Anonymous (01/28/11 08:16 AM)


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InvisibleSleepwalker
Overshoes

Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13846544 - 01/25/11 08:10 AM (13 years, 6 days ago)

Kinky and sexy could become dangerous and deadly.  :shrug:
Gather your willpower and get out while you can IMO.
Find someone else to dominate you safely (but not too safely :tongue:)


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OfflineNightsky
Kingslayer
Female


Registered: 01/10/11
Posts: 32
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Sleepwalker]
    #13847340 - 01/25/11 11:29 AM (13 years, 5 days ago)

I too enjoy kinky stuff such as that, but there is also a level of comfort that must be maintained. Personally, if I'm not comfortable I would get out especially if he's as bad as you say.

I hope everything turns out well and your safe.


--------------------

I see.
I grasp.
I possess.
I examine.


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Offlinearekusu
Stranger than You
Male

Registered: 10/13/09
Posts: 501
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Nightsky]
    #13847453 - 01/25/11 11:52 AM (13 years, 5 days ago)

Get out of it. Some people are just rotten to the core.


--------------------
Moodion said:
There's only one way to answer that frustrating question of "what was it like?".

You hand the fucker The Machine packed with an 80mg dose and wave goodbye.


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Offlineandrewss
precariously aggrandized


Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 8,725
Loc: ohio
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: arekusu]
    #13847752 - 01/25/11 12:39 PM (13 years, 5 days ago)

shoot him


--------------------
Jesus loves you.


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Offlinedummy
I am you and what I see is me


Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,973
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: andrewss]
    #13847898 - 01/25/11 01:03 PM (13 years, 5 days ago)

i really don't think you needany tips at all. you know to do. if you want it you'll stay. if you don't you'll leave. wtf else can we tell you? come on now...

i guess to put it in another way; stop blaming him for the shit you do to yourself. he's just a tool that you use to hurt yourself. you get none of my sympathy, not to be a dick. but really... come on now...


--------------------
People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.


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Anonymous #2

Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13847986 - 01/25/11 01:20 PM (13 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I few months ago I met this guy. He seemed awesome! We talked so much that, even though I'm shy, I confessed to him that I've always had submissive S&M fantasies but never acted on them. They're very deep, very perverted. So, he told me he had always had dominant fantasies.

Well, we acted out on these. Time went by and I've found out that he has a lot of mental health issues, as well as serious alcohol addiction. I believe that he may be manipulating me. Unfortunately, the idea that I'm being manipulated is a major turn on. I don't know what to do! He's actually gone past my limits and disregarded our "safe word". He's hurt me physically and scared me verbally way past the point of comfort. I've tried to breakup with him but he finds a way to manipulate me into seeing him again. I know it would seem easy to tell me just to be strong, but this is a SERIOUS fucking mind game that I can't handle. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO! Also, I am EXTREMELY strong. I've survived a lot of shit and have become stronger from it. IT'S JUST THAT THIS KINK I HAVE IS CAUSING ME TO STAY IN THIS POTENTIALLY VERY DANGEROUS RELATIONSHIP!

Any tips?




Mate if hes ignoring your safe word then you seriously need to either get out of the relationship or find a way of re asserting some bounderies.

However, i am wondering whether part of the problem is whether you are ignoring his ignoring your safe word...i am thinking that when you are aroused in a submissive way it may have added some more excitement to it all for you. 

If this is the case, you need to get your head into gear.  You are bang on when you refer to it as potentially very dangerous.

As the dominator he has a responsibility to be sensitive to your  vulnerability as a being who gets off on being disempowered and assert some boundaries that will prevent you from getting hurt as someone that he cares about.  If he is unable to do this, then he has a dark problem and you really need to stay well clear!


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Offlinek00laid
NEMO
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 19,636
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13848267 - 01/25/11 02:17 PM (13 years, 5 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I've tried to breakup with him but he finds a way to manipulate me into seeing him again.





protip: stop being his doormat.


--------------------
AMU - AMU Q & A - MyVideo Teks!


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Offlinepsychedelico
day trippin


Registered: 06/30/10
Posts: 443
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: k00laid]
    #13848750 - 01/25/11 03:50 PM (13 years, 5 days ago)

you could crazy him back and murk his ass.


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Offlinedshow
Nomad
 User Gallery


Registered: 01/22/09
Posts: 5,255
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: psychedelico]
    #13850443 - 01/25/11 08:31 PM (13 years, 5 days ago)

Your saying your strong. Yet your still in this. Get out. Thats the tip.


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OfflineLennyk
D-O-L-E Dole
Male

Registered: 04/22/08
Posts: 2,385
Loc: Near the Ground
Last seen: 12 years, 6 months
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #13858429 - 01/27/11 07:10 AM (13 years, 4 days ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I few months ago I met this guy. He seemed awesome! We talked so much that, even though I'm shy, I confessed to him that I've always had submissive S&M fantasies but never acted on them. They're very deep, very perverted. So, he told me he had always had dominant fantasies.

Well, we acted out on these. Time went by and I've found out that he has a lot of mental health issues, as well as serious alcohol addiction. I believe that he may be manipulating me. Unfortunately, the idea that I'm being manipulated is a major turn on. I don't know what to do! He's actually gone past my limits and disregarded our "safe word". He's hurt me physically and scared me verbally way past the point of comfort. I've tried to breakup with him but he finds a way to manipulate me into seeing him again. I know it would seem easy to tell me just to be strong, but this is a SERIOUS fucking mind game that I can't handle. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT I WAS GETTING INTO! Also, I am EXTREMELY strong. I've survived a lot of shit and have become stronger from it. IT'S JUST THAT THIS KINK I HAVE IS CAUSING ME TO STAY IN THIS POTENTIALLY VERY DANGEROUS RELATIONSHIP!

Any tips?





This isn't bdsm this is abuse! It makes a mockery of the lifestyle and gives it a bad name. I have domed gals my age, and even many years older than me (late 50's). I adapt my doming to their tastes from sadistic to mild and such. Always looking at their status, making sure they didn't slip into a bad place. Even though they are a sub, they have to trust you enough to let get, but know they are always in control if it becomes too intense. Always talking to them after to see what was good, bad, maybe could improve.

If you don't have this type of communication, care, and trust someone is going to be in the ER or dead one day. BDSM is not for selfish morons with mental issues. Doming is a challenge, you have to be creative and caring and put the safety of your sub above all else. Even the most 'sadistic doms that use you for anything they want' put up a good act or are too dangerous to engage in bdsm with.


Seriously, if all play isn't stopping and he isn't figuring out exactly what is wrong when a safe word is called, that is grounds to never see him again and I would look into pressing charges and suing him. No lie. That is bullshit.


--------------------
Stealth Lighting 
Cubensis benefits beyond cluster headaches
Mush Extract! (You can even use Vinegar!)
Flame your needle in style with a sexy mini butane torch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What happens in the Romper Room, stays in the Romper Room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All posts are written by the sex deprived helper monkey Curious George.


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OfflineMaharishi_2_U
Opt Out Super Fag
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 6,316
Loc: The Streets Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Lennyk]
    #13858444 - 01/27/11 07:17 AM (13 years, 4 days ago)

Get a tzaer....
New safe word = Bzzzzzzzzzt!
BC


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InvisibleGerman Kahuna
Facepalmer of Stoopid
Male User Gallery

Registered: 10/31/08
Posts: 15,798
Loc: On a Chemical Vacation
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Maharishi_2_U]
    #13858534 - 01/27/11 08:08 AM (13 years, 4 days ago)

Quote:

boredcertified said:
Get a tzaer....
New safe word = Bzzzzzzzzzt!
BC



:rofldrunk:


--------------------
"Vegetarian" [ /ˌvedʒəˈteəriən/] - Ancient slang meaning "village idiot who can't hunt, fish or ride".


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OfflinePsychopathic666
Mycology and axolotl enthusiast
Male


Registered: 12/26/10
Posts: 1,129
Loc: NE Ohio, USA Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 12 days
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: German Kahuna]
    #13862100 - 01/27/11 07:09 PM (13 years, 3 days ago)

This is abuse. Abuse is illegal. I am turned on by people bleeding on eachother and tentacle rape (demon hentai) and shit like that, but not abuse. That's not kinky shit. Get the fuck away from him before he murders you.


--------------------
Like what I say? Add to my reputation!
If you're interested in axolotls please PM me!


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OfflinePsilocyentist
Carbon based


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 858
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 6 months
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Psychopathic666]
    #13864174 - 01/28/11 01:35 AM (13 years, 3 days ago)

Get out. Just do it. Don't think about it anymore just leave. If you really want to do it you will. You should also really examine what personal issues led you to this type of relationship and cause you to want to stay.


--------------------
I know, I know you probably scream and cry

That your little world won't let you go



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Anonymous #1

Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: dummy]
    #13864910 - 01/28/11 08:23 AM (13 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

dummy said:
i guess to put it in another way; stop blaming him for the shit you do to yourself. he's just a tool that you use to hurt yourself. you get none of my sympathy, not to be a dick. but really... come on now...




When I say he's manipulative, I'm not blaming him. I mean, his manipulative behavior is a large part of the problem, true, but I put myself in the situation, I know. The trouble is it's like being in a canoe without a paddle. I'm going to have to jump out and swim to shore or find some other technique. It's hard to imagine if you've never been in a situation like this. It's a mind bender.


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Anonymous #1

Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Lennyk]
    #13864921 - 01/28/11 08:29 AM (13 years, 2 days ago)

Quote:

Lennyk said:
Seriously, if all play isn't stopping and he isn't figuring out exactly what is wrong when a safe word is called, that is grounds to never see him again and I would look into pressing charges and suing him. No lie. That is bullshit.




:sad: It's really scary, but since this is my first time doing this I've somehow formed a really strong bond and feel like I've fallen in love with him. I know he's dangerous. His ex wife has a restraining order against him. I'm in trouble. I don't know what I was thinking. I guess I couldn't have known in the beginning. He seemed so sane and charming. He's out of his mind though. Apparently I am too.


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Offlinedummy
I am you and what I see is me


Registered: 09/29/08
Posts: 3,973
Last seen: 1 year, 8 months
Re: S&M, manipulation & fear [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13865245 - 01/28/11 10:27 AM (13 years, 2 days ago)

you're right i don't know what it is to be in a situation like that. it seems like you could just leave and never pick up his calls.


--------------------
People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.


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