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OfflineCaptBeefheart
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Registered: 01/03/03
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Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea!
    #1377493 - 03/15/03 06:49 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

Three weeks ago I consumed 40 wet grams of GTs and 5 grams of dried mexican.
I was alone in my room and prepared to trip in the dark with no music. I had done this before (with 5grams)and it was the best trip I've ever done.
I just don't know what went wrong. I can't remember much about it but I can tell you this. I nearly died...for real.
On reflection I know what the problem was. The 5 dried grams had been chopped up a week before and had turned black. Basicaly they were rotten. And I ate them like a fucking idiot.
I had been listening to Brian Eno music on my headphones but it was too much so I turned it off.
I recall no definitive visuals, I was in a void that was owned by a 'spider/reptile Intelligence. I couldn't see them but they communicated to me in my mind. As the trip grew stronger I was convinced that they were raping my mind and they were evil. I sensed I had been consumed and was now being digested in the belly of a beast. I was truly terrified and gripped by fear.
I swore at them aloud and cursed them for attacking me. "Fuck you you spider fucks" I yelled "you'll never have me". But they did and I knew it.

You see at this point I should have got up from my bed,turned on the lights and watch a video but my brain could not see a way out. I was trapped in a loop of fear and loathing. I got under the covers this time and buried my head in the pillow as I crawled into a ball and wept.

And now the terrifying bit. I honestly believed that I was posessed. I was not me.
I had huge bulging eyes and a grimace. I recall a being that was not my own that was using me to look out at the world. I looked around at my room and out the window but recognised nothing. This is not to be confused with ego loss. It was not me looking around. I had been inhabited by 'something' else. Spriritualists refer to this type of posession as a walk in. Where a spirit does just that, it walks in to you and pushes your spirit out.Its like a stranger borrowing your body. I have seen this in footage of voodoo rituals and posessions, where even the face of the participant doesn't resemble his own.
Now the diahorea began( and didn't stop for 10 hours, well into the next day. )

It was two hours into the trip when I couldn't breathe! My heart began racing to untolerable levels and I grasped for breath. I could not breath!!! I kid you not. For an hour I struggled for breath and thought that any moment I would have a heart attack and die. It was either directly related to the poisened mushrooms I had consumed or a panic attack on a gross scale! I was hyperventilating and writhing around on my bed. I ripped off my clothes to try and breath but it didn't help. While all this happened, the 'spider/reptile' intelligence continued to rape my mind and laughed/mocked me as they did it.
Now I was covered in shit,mentally raped to the point of evil insanity, posessed, grimacing and bug eyed like a psycho, yelling at 'the spider people' and dying of respitory failure. There was no way out of this viscious loop.

Thats about all I remember. I remeber crying as I came down and was just glad to be alive. This happened 3 weeks ago and only now can I write about it.

My point to you is this. Obviously don't eat rotten shrooms, but more importantly I want you to think about psychic attacks. The highly spiritual nature of shroom tripping takes you to other dimensions. Your psychic eye is open to various energies and experieneces with beings. The problem is that you can also meet negative and evil beings and if you do not 'protect' yourself before or during the trip, you are open to such attacks.
Be careful people, while you are out there exploring the cosmos. It can be a very dangerous place if the warrior(ie you) is not prepared. I took the shroom experience for granted and it bit me hard. And I am a very grounded and experienced tripper.


--------------------
"Real men don't dance, they sit,sweat and curse."
- Bill Hicks


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Offlinesirreal
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: CaptBeefheart]
    #1377526 - 03/15/03 07:12 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

In some respects your trip was very similiar to my "108 fresh grams" trip.

Who knows why we think the way we do when we get that fucked up. But it does help to prepare your mind a little before the trip.

I just threw out about 50 grams of wet shrooms that had turned black and mushy after only two days in the fridge. I will be drying out all my shrooms from now on.


--------------------
I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!


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OfflineCaptBeefheart
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Registered: 01/03/03
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: sirreal]
    #1377590 - 03/15/03 07:51 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

I just read your report! I can really relate to the raping of the mind part. Same as you,I learned nothing of value. I think my trip was ruined because of the poisening. I still recall no visuals and feel cheated by the experience.
Tonight I am going for 5 dried grams with the lights on and some cool music/trippy videos to look at. Its kind of a step back, spiritualy, but I am on a mission to have fun and not get all philisophical in the dark.


--------------------
"Real men don't dance, they sit,sweat and curse."
- Bill Hicks


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Offlinesirreal
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: CaptBeefheart]
    #1377632 - 03/15/03 08:18 AM (14 years, 3 months ago)

The experiences with mushrooms are just like all experiences in life. They are open to interpretation. Preconcieved notions will be a factor.

If you bring certain notions into the trip with you they will help determine how you understand what is happening.

Complete ego death is ideal! It eliminates through force most of your preconcieved ideas.

of course they come back afterwards when you are interpreting what happened. It will be tainted no matter what.


--------------------
I may not always tell the truth, but atleast I'm honest
-----------

I see what everyone is saying. It is so hard to form an opinion when you see both sides so clearly!


Edited by sirreal (03/15/03 10:43 AM)


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OfflineAldous
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: CaptBeefheart]
    #6482387 - 01/21/07 03:00 PM (10 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

CaptBeefheart said:
And now the terrifying bit. I honestly believed that I was posessed. I was not me.
I had huge bulging eyes and a grimace. I recall a being that was not my own that was using me to look out at the world. [...] I had been inhabited by 'something' else. Spriritualists refer to this type of posession as a walk in. Where a spirit does just that, it walks in to you and pushes your spirit out.Its like a stranger borrowing your body. I have seen this in footage of voodoo rituals and posessions, where even the face of the participant doesn't resemble his own.


Wow, that made me chill in reminiscence. About the same thing happened to me during a ritual ayahuasca session, except it was not just a spirit that took over, it was an evil beast that made me grimace like I was a werewolf. It didn't last long, but terrifying it was. Definitely some kind of demonic entity, if there is such a thing.

Now the trouble is this thing keeps happening to me ever since when on mushrooms, but in a softer way. The first time my head was completely out of control: I couldn't control my facial expressions or the movements of my head. These days, on mushrooms, I have way more control, but if I let it happen, the werewolf is there all over again. I looked in a mirror from a distance, it looked pretty scary, and it sure wasn't me (at least not the way I usually view myself).

If anyone can relate, explain or give advice, you're welcome.

On a side note, if the spirit that walks in "pushes your spirit out", I wonder how you remain conscious of what happens in your body. You should be somewhere else altogether...


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Invisiblechunder
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: CaptBeefheart]
    #6502873 - 01/27/07 08:38 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Truly, there are some ancient entities out there, gnarled with incomprehensible agendas. Sometimes, I don't feel like I even have the option of defending against these kinds of encounters - the beast simply has its way. But I suppose that's just part of the price we humans pay to plug into the Mama Matrix Most Mysterious.


--------------------


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Offlinesadspacemonkey
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: CaptBeefheart]
    #6503202 - 01/27/07 10:47 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Thanks for posting this.

I'm relatively new to shrooms and have yet to have a truly bad experience. I sort of feel like I'm in some weird honeymoon stage with tripping and haven't really been taking the possibility of a bad trip like this seriously.

It's good to read a warning like this from someone with experience. The bad trip is going to happen at some point. Hopefully letting that fact sink in and respecting it will take the edge off when it does happen.


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana


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OfflineFixer
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #6508025 - 01/29/07 12:37 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

The bad trip doesn't "have to" happen. Capt Beefheart himself said he made a mistake by eating the bad shrooms. The bad trip can be avoided indefinetely if care is taken to eat an appropriate amount, and have a sitter, and a good set in place.

Risk taking is good. Not being discerning about dosage is reckless at best.


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Offlinesadspacemonkey
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: Fixer]
    #6508108 - 01/29/07 01:11 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Good point. I suppose I let my friends (who are not into any drugs and generally freaked out by this new interest of mine) get to me with their constant reminders and horror stories of bad trips. After enough of that I took on the attitude of 'fine, a bad trip will happen, but the risk is worth it.'

That said, I'll take the wisdom and advice of people with actual experience over the fears of my friends, though their hearts are in the right place.

With no one I know in person to guide me through this stuff, these forums are pretty helpful...


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana


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OfflineFixer
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #6508144 - 01/29/07 01:25 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

When I was getting into pot-smoking and then drugs at the tender age of 11-12 (my older brother shared it with me), my friends warned me as well. The truth is that I did mess myself up with overuse of drugs as a teenager. I ignored and fell behind in my important responsibilities. My friends were partially right at the time. Now I'm older, and I do things more sensibly, and I see tripping as a blessing and an opportunity. If I would allow it to get in the way of my daily functioning (ie. succeeding at work or school) it would become a curse.

One should never think that if they don't take an incredible dosage "this time" that the opportunity will never present itself again. If you always dose smart, you'll get better experience and be better at dealing with higher doses later on.

Airplane pilots don't learn to fly in hurricanes. They start out in calm weather first.

I would also say that through experience I know how to transcend a bad trip and keep it on the right track. When the dosage is not above my limit I can keep my head about me and abandon myself to the feeling without fear of it taking me somewhere I don't want to go.

Bad trips can leave scars. They are worth avoiding.

Once while on acid with some friends we were walking down a tree-lined street. As we walked, we noticed that we passed a house with a tree in front of it. Then another and another... We began to all feel at once that we weren't getting anywhere. As if we were trapped and just passing the same house and tree over and over again. My friends began to panic, but I was familiar with that fear from previous experiences, and I reassured them that we would soon arrive at the end of the street and make a turn. It was a nothing that could have ended up in a scary situation. One must gain experience with appropriate doses in order to benefit from the good that is inherent in tripping.


Edited by Fixer (01/29/07 01:47 PM)


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: Fixer]
    #6508874 - 01/29/07 06:17 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Even if the mushrooms were all healthy homegrown beauties I don't see why someone who says he knows what to do with them would take 4o g's wet then 5 MORE dry!
Personally, I don't mind if my soul leaves my body for a little stroll but I don't want it so far away that it needs to ask directions to get back! I know mine would ask at least, being that I'm female. Guys be careful!...
But seriously...Take comfort from the knowledge I'm about to impart to you: That you can only truly be harmed by something if you give it power over you. I assume you understand that I'm not talk'in about standing in the middle of the highway and saying "The cars cannot hurt me if I do not give them power". I'm referring to other-wordily strengths and energies. They _are_ real, they _have_ strength but not over you if you don't let them!
Meditate on that before you do your next dose...I am under the impression that 7 is the max of choice for those with brains. Respect yours as well as your intestines. They're all a gift.


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


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Offlinesadspacemonkey
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: Fixer]
    #6515622 - 01/31/07 11:30 AM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Fixer said:
The truth is that I did mess myself up with overuse of drugs as a teenager. I ignored and fell behind in my important responsibilities.





Yea, my friends have also warned me not to let it 'take over.' I'm glad I got into this at a relatively older age (is 22 old? @_@ ) I still work and go to school and do everything I need to do, though I feel very detached from all of that now.

Quote:


Now I'm older, and I do things more sensibly, and I see tripping as a blessing and an opportunity.




Glad to hear that. :thumbup:

Quote:


One should never think that if they don't take an incredible dosage "this time" that the opportunity will never present itself again.




Yea...I'm really not trying to rush myself. My biggest problem is finding a sitter since, like I said, most of my friends are freaked by the fact that I trip.

Quote:


I would also say that through experience I know how to transcend a bad trip and keep it on the right track.




That's a great skill to have. I came very close to having a bad trip once. I called someone I trusted and they helped me (thank god.) It wasn't terrible really- something just triggered this fear and it took awhile for me to feel totally safe again. But the fact that I managed to overcome it (with help) is comforting.

Quote:

My friends began to panic, but I was familiar with that fear from previous experiences, and I reassured them that we would soon arrive at the end of the street and make a turn. It was a nothing that could have ended up in a scary situation. One must gain experience with appropriate doses in order to benefit from the good that is inherent in tripping.




Yeah, I have felt fear several times when tripping on higher doses. That reassurance is something I do with myself. I don't fight the fear, I just accept it, and then get myself into a place of comfort.


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana


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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: MyInnerChild]
    #6515807 - 01/31/07 12:30 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

MyInnerChild said:
But seriously...Take comfort from the knowledge I'm about to impart to you: That you can only truly be harmed by something if you give it power over you. I assume you understand that I'm not talk'in about standing in the middle of the highway and saying "The cars cannot hurt me if I do not give them power". I'm referring to other-wordily strengths and energies. They _are_ real, they _have_ strength but not over you if you don't let them!
Meditate on that before you do your next dose...I am under the impression that 7 is the max of choice for those with brains. Respect yours as well as your intestines. They're all a gift.




Yea my intestines and I have been getting along pretty well lately and I'd like to keep it that way.

As for other wordly energies- few times in my life have I appreciated the value of bravery than when I was going through an intense trip. Every moment I faced my fear and walked through it, I found myself in a deeper and more rewarding place.

Then of course there was that night I thought a mutilated woman was going to pop out of my Salvador Dali poster and kill me..I literally huddled under my blanket and hugged my teddy bear till I calmed down, haha..


--------------------

"I can't be told by anyone how to live. If I said to the minister 'Move from your home' he would think I was mad." Bushman : Botswana


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OfflineFixer
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: sadspacemonkey]
    #6515843 - 01/31/07 12:38 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

It sounds to me like you (and your teddy bear) are on track. It feels like a great accomplishment to navigate a trip through the potential obstacles and get everything out of it that one can. Even though one can learn many things from bad trips, I believe many bad trips are the result of bad preparation. Then the precious time that could have been used to interact with the trip constructively is used in crisis intervention instead.

It's good that you're in your 20's. Running your own life lends itself to good trips. You don't have to hide things from snooping parents (I hide it from my children :smile: And I must admit that I am a snooping parent - after all I've been there and done that :smile:) and you feel more in control of shaping your own life.

Perhaps one of your more open-minded friends from the cautious group would like to be present when you're tripping so s/he can see how interesting and unharmed you are when under the influence. :smile: On the condition that s/he is a supporter/observer.


Edited by Fixer (01/31/07 12:42 PM)


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OfflineMyInnerChild
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Re: Bad Trip report. Fear & Loathing with diahorea! [Re: Fixer]
    #6517821 - 01/31/07 10:05 PM (10 years, 4 months ago)

s.s.monkey: (sounds like a ship...taking a trip!)
A) I enjoy your writing, I've said it before but it's worth repeating.
B) I don't recommend looking at Salvador Dali pictures while tripping. They freak me out straight! I bet if I Googled him I'd confirm my suspicion that he hated women for some reason. I go for Monet who's images are so much more serene (as opposed to surreal).

As far as having friends who don't relate to the experience: If you only knew people who trip I'd be worried about you :wink: Someone who is tripping is in their own world(s) and can't necessarily be an effective sitter anyway. A low dose is never a risk. It's non addictive and you can't O.D. You probably told your friends that and they're still concerned. It means they care at least even if they don't understand. That's worth something certainly.
I think someone who has only smoked pot can be a sitter as they understand what it means to have a mind altering experience. Just prepare them with instructions that you've read on the site like; Only help if I ask you to. Remind me that everything is "normal" and safe to see and understand. Give only positive messages. Be ready to hold a hand, chance a C.D. pass you a glass of water, etc.

Music: Trippy stuff from the 60's-70's is great as far as I'm concerned but many people have posted that modern groups have great trip enhancing music. Many have recommended Shpongle for ex. Just the titles of their songs tell you what the music is intended to enhance. Any music with upbeat positive messages or happy sounding music w/o lyrics is great. Some people like Pink Floyd but I find their lyrics too weird. I can do the weird part in my head. I don't need them orchestrating it for me. That's just my take on it.

You will find that special individual "one" you can relate to, possibly trip with, and go grocery shopping with who may or may not leave the toilet seat down. Not everyone trips with their spouse. Neither of us intended to when we married. It's a relatively new enhancer that I have to say, did just that. When it comes to a spouse/committed guy being able to relate to something so significant in your life as tripping it doesn't matter if he does drugs just that he understands you because he once did it with a positive experience or knows and still loves people in his life who have done/do them. Hey, you could end up tripping with your in-laws! What a concept! :smile:

Try to find the angle from which you can appreciate school or work and the non trippy people there. You feel separate from it/them and I can relate that way but there are good things to be gleaned from the straight world even if you have to dig for it. Can you "dig" it? I knew that you could!

As far as being 22: Youth is wasted on the young. When I hear of 14 years old's tripping it makes me shake my head and wonder how they make it to adulthood. Some would say they're better off because of it but the struggle to "deal" with the tripping comes with a price at that age ie: "Do'in time" in the hospital, messing up in school, etc. You're doing it right when you should. 

Trippy people need read no further as this next part has nothing to do with tripping. Thanks.
C) In response to my marriage counseling post: If you don't mind me posting this in "public" since I don't yet know how to P.M.;
I highly recommend getting braces!! I had 'em and it was one of the best things for my self esteem. The very first thing my husband commented on about my appearance during a date was about my straight teeth, I kid you not. I appreciate a guy who holds himself back from first commenting on a woman's chest even if she hopes he's pleased in that dept. too. Must be a Veus/Mars thing.

Back to the braces: It's a process and when they're tightened it hurts and sometimes but not in every situation, they need to pull teeth before putting them on. I had bands around each tooth...ug-city but the results were worth it. It carried a stigma of "brace-face tin-grin at the time. Now it's a badge of honor that you care about yourself. It's not all about looks. One can lose some teeth later in life if they don't meet up properly when one bites down. You don't use 'em you lose 'em applies here. I am a strong advocate of accepting yourself exactly how you were made never adding even a tattoo, though I considered a butterfly on my hip at one point... and I surely don't bow down to Hollywood icons...:( so in light of where I'm coming from I encourage you to check out: A) If your insurance will pay part of it if there is a medical need which the orthodontist can confirm at a free consult and B) See if your parents or a rich aunt can help foot the bill. You may be surprised. It doesn't hurt to ask. The orthodontist should have both a sliding scale/lower rate for you and will allow you to pay it off in increments over time.

I jest but I think if every Shroomery poster put a single dollar in a special Swiss bank account for you, it could all be covered! :smile:
Keep on smil'in regardless of what you decide! Your soul will shine through the imperfect bite and warm those who see the quality in you!


--------------------

My inner child runs with scissors but plays nicely with others!

Sometimes the light's all shine'in on me,
Other times I can barely see.
Lately it occurs to me,
What a looong strange trip it's been! ~ Truck'in


Edited by MyInnerChild (01/31/07 10:27 PM)


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