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Offlinex Ju x
Aubergine Of The Sun
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Registered: 10/07/08
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Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
Cried for the first time in a while tonight
    #13644406 - 12/16/10 09:52 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

And I'm not really sure why.

My parents made the decision tonight to put my grandmother, who has severe dementia, into a home. My mother really doesn't want her to go, and she was crying and completely hysterical for a little while. I rarely see my parents this upset, and that's probably what got me tearing up. They're upstairs right now with the paramedics discussing specifics of some sort, but it sounds as if she may not actually be going. In a fucked up way, I kind of want her to go to a home so my mom doesn't have to look after her anymore. She's seriously beating herself up tending to her 20 hours a day.

Plus, my aunt told me that my mom has a protrusion on her belly button, which I'm pretty sure is a hernia that she got from having to look after my grandmother and carrying her around. She's the type of person that will never go to a hospital, no matter whats wrong, so trying to get her to see a doctor probably won't make things better for her.



I don't have many places to vent.

/rant.


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OfflineFungal-one
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Registered: 07/14/10
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: x Ju x]
    #13644421 - 12/16/10 09:54 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Sounds like a better reason to cry than some others I've heard. My mom cries alot because I don't cry anymore lol. I can't help it, life is a bitch and crying doesnt do any good.


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Never judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. But, by that time you're a mile away and you got his shoes, so fuck em.


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OfflineBipolarbear
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: x Ju x] * 1
    #13644477 - 12/16/10 10:03 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

You should do something nice for your mom like buy her a card or some flowers to let her know that she is appreciated. 

It'll brighten up her day.



Then you'll


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OfflineFungal-one
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: Bipolarbear]
    #13644490 - 12/16/10 10:05 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

That's a good idea. Do that shit, homes!


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Never judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. But, by that time you're a mile away and you got his shoes, so fuck em.


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InvisibleAlec_Baldwin
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: Fungal-one]
    #13644529 - 12/16/10 10:13 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)



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Tune in, Freak out, Get Beaten.


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Offlineplaytime
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: Alec_Baldwin]
    #13644569 - 12/16/10 10:20 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

:sad:


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Offlinex Ju x
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Registered: 10/07/08
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: playtime]
    #13644673 - 12/16/10 10:40 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

A card and flowers is a good idea. I've been throwing hugs her way all day as well.

My grandmother just left in an ambulance to go to a hospital for the night, and then to a home anywhere up to 4 hours away. :sad:


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: x Ju x] * 3
    #13644704 - 12/16/10 10:46 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

i'm sorry about your troubles man. a nice long cry everyonce and awhile does wonders. let it all out man. you got a shoulder to cry on. the shroomerys. :hug:


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InvisibleEnigma of Ankou
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #13645409 - 12/17/10 01:13 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

This is one of my greatest fears I can completely understand why your crying I dont blame you, lately my grandmother has been getting more and more forgetful shes still got her sanity but idk the way her mental has slowly been degrading over the last decade im not sure what to expect it would kill me to see her in a state like that.


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War against a foreign country only happens when the moneyed classes think they are going to profit from it.-George Orwell-


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Offlineweedist
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: Enigma of Ankou]
    #13645486 - 12/17/10 01:43 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Damn, my grandmothers headed that way. I sorry to hear about it :frown:


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Offlinex Ju x
Aubergine Of The Sun
Male


Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,511
Loc: Shpongleland, Canada Flag
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: weedist]
    #13645940 - 12/17/10 06:42 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I knew it was coming for a while, It's just hard to see my parents so upset. They really don't want her to go.

but there's no way she could stay. My mom just can't look after her anymore.


But she's in the hospital for a few days before they get her to a home. Hopefully it's close.


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Offlinedanlennon3
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: x Ju x]
    #13646266 - 12/17/10 09:23 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I feel for you. I gotta go over my grandmother's and watch her every day. It's not easy seeing them go


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"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"



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OfflineDosile Kouki
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Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: x Ju x]
    #13646446 - 12/17/10 10:18 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Be strong bro. These sorts of things are terrible, i've been through similar things. And i know its a terrible thought of putting a loved one into care, but sometimes it really is for the best - you can all still go visit her every day and spend just as much time with her, but it can also help everyone to centre themselves again (not in a selfish way, but i know how things become centred directly around the person in need and everyone else becomes secondary to that).

I pretty much broke my back looking after my dad, i had to carry him and hold him up while he went to the toilet and stuff, then once he got a bit worse i was transferring him from bed to chair, to toilet, back to chair, back to bed, etc, for a long time, it really broke my back lifting a 70kgish man multiple times per day, but luckily i have a strong frame and could handle it, but also saw it as my duty to him in his time of need, and for a while we were teeter-tottering on the thought of putting him into care and what not.

It's really a rollercoaster dude, stay strong.

:peace:


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Offlinex Ju x
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #13646822 - 12/17/10 12:08 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks for the replies, guys :psychsplit:

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
...from bed to chair, to toilet, back to chair, back to bed, etc, for a long time,





that's pretty much what it's been like with her for the past two months, except my mom is the only one who can look after her all day until dad gets home from work to help her. And now that were sure she's got a hernia from it just makes it seem worse. She really beat herself up looking after her, and that's what makes it so upsetting.

I was talking to her today about going to see a doctor about it. She was reluctant at first, but after a while she said she would go. I just have to make sure she actually goes. Knowing her, she would let it go for months or until it got too painful.


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Offlinefreeskierpj
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: Fungal-one]
    #13647314 - 12/17/10 01:51 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Fungal-one said:
Sounds like a better reason to cry than some others I've heard. My mom cries alot because I don't cry anymore lol. I can't help it, life is a bitch and crying doesnt do any good.




Having a good cry from time to time is awesome though. Especially when you have someone to comfort you but just kinda let you cry and get the emotions out while talking you through your emotions. When I take shrooms to figure out problems going on in my life I spend a lot of time crying and have my trip sitter help me work through those emotions during the trip. Crying doesn't do any good when you cry all the time but having a good cry every few months really does help!


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.
-ProfessorPinHead
:amanita2::pinkshroom::supershroom::pinkshroom::amanita2:
My Mycological Excursions
Anything posted on these forums is strictly for fun and completely fictional.


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp

Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: x Ju x]
    #13648767 - 12/17/10 07:45 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

x Ju x said:
Thanks for the replies, guys :psychsplit:

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
...from bed to chair, to toilet, back to chair, back to bed, etc, for a long time,





that's pretty much what it's been like with her for the past two months, except my mom is the only one who can look after her all day until dad gets home from work to help her. And now that were sure she's got a hernia from it just makes it seem worse. She really beat herself up looking after her, and that's what makes it so upsetting.

I was talking to her today about going to see a doctor about it. She was reluctant at first, but after a while she said she would go. I just have to make sure she actually goes. Knowing her, she would let it go for months or until it got too painful.




Have you looked into your local paliative care service? We had a group called the 'district nurses' who basically come around to your house dayly and help you out with the day to day care tasks with your mother, like showering and changing beds/clothes etc. It was also subsidised by the government so it was very economical as well.

They also come to your house and assess your house for what sort of machines and aids they can bring in to help, such as wheel chairs , wheel walkers, toilet frames, shower frames, bed frames, all sorts of things just to help out and lessen the workload for you all.


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OfflineROFL_my_ WAFFLE


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 3,984
Loc: Florida Flag
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #13648773 - 12/17/10 07:47 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Sometimes I wish I could cry. It's been a few years, and I just don't have any emotion release. :feelsbadman:


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OfflineDosile Kouki
derp

Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 14,963
Loc: Paradise
Last seen: 11 years, 7 months
Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #13648798 - 12/17/10 07:52 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
Quote:

x Ju x said:
Thanks for the replies, guys :psychsplit:

Quote:

DosileFlynn said:
...from bed to chair, to toilet, back to chair, back to bed, etc, for a long time,





that's pretty much what it's been like with her for the past two months, except my mom is the only one who can look after her all day until dad gets home from work to help her. And now that were sure she's got a hernia from it just makes it seem worse. She really beat herself up looking after her, and that's what makes it so upsetting.

I was talking to her today about going to see a doctor about it. She was reluctant at first, but after a while she said she would go. I just have to make sure she actually goes. Knowing her, she would let it go for months or until it got too painful.




Have you looked into your local paliative care service? We had a group called the 'district nurses' who basically come around to your house dayly and help you out with the day to day care tasks with your loved one, like showering and changing beds/clothes etc. It was also subsidised by the government so it was very economical as well.

They also come to your house and assess your house for what sort of machines and aids they can bring in to help, such as wheel chairs , wheel walkers, toilet frames, shower frames, bed frames, all sorts of things just to help out and lessen the workload for you all.




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Offlinex Ju x
Aubergine Of The Sun
Male


Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,511
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Re: Cried for the first time in a while tonight [Re: Dosile Kouki]
    #13649031 - 12/17/10 08:49 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

We thought about quite a few options, including that one, but ultimately the decision was up to my parents.

She was diagnosed with the most severe type of dementia, so they decided a home would be best. Shes still in the hospital right now while they figure out the details, and which exact home to put her in.


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