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Anonymous #1

life and anxiety
    #13572810 - 12/02/10 11:38 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I've been dealing with anxiety for quite a few years now, and has gotten better than what it was with dealing with things over the short term. When I think about life and the future is when it's really there though. I can't help but worry if my life will turn out the way I hope(whatever that is), will I be happy and over all successful(doesn't mean in a wealthy way) over the long term. Also I'm a freshman in college, so the future is happening now in a way in that I'm preparing for the future, and how fast it's coming makes it worse and I feel I can't relax. I don't know if it's a fear of failure or success or if I'm just being a big pussy, maybe a combination, but it's affecting my grades which are really low and which makes the fact that it's the end of the semester scary. Especially when my family and most important myself know I can do so much better. Even worse my parents spent quite a bit of money and effort helping me get to the a college pretty far away from home, so going home won't be fun to see their reaction. I've read quite a few writings on staying in the present moment and I know that's probably the answer to all my problems, but it's almost like it's so intense it takes over my efforts to practice that. Also it sucks in that as I'm worrying so much, it does nothing to help or motivate me and just makes life pass me by. I know comparing my life to some others in terms of the opportunity I have and I'm over all healthy, that I have it pretty good, but for some reason I just can't seem to get over it.
Thanks for any responses or advice and at the very least it felt good to write it out.

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Offlineseylm
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Re: life and anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13574350 - 12/02/10 04:45 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I'm in a very similar situation. Give meditation and mindfulness a try, they have helped me a lot. Thirty minutes of meditation a day keeps me sane.


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Invisiblenglsnv
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Re: life and anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13576590 - 12/03/10 11:04 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

i've been working on the same thing lately. what works for me is to identify the thing that i'm stressing out about, an exam for example, and think about how that situation relates to my situation as a whole. so if i'm worried that i will do poorly on an exam, i realize that the exam is only relevant to the particular class that the exam is for. i then think about how a bad grade will possibly be something that i should worry about. will this affect my gpa and then my future career? not significantly. i also try to think about similar situations that ive been through in the past. in this example, doing poorly on a test in high school or something. i think about how my gpa was probably affected but then i was still able to do everything i wanted, got into my college of choice, etc. the point im trying to get across is that you have to put your problems in perspective and decide if its something you should be worried about. are you going to die if you fail the exam? no. are you going to lose friends or become disabled? no. this is just one example and a simple one at that, but the same thought process can be applied to any situation.

i have no idea where my future is going as well and i'm a sophomore but the way i see it its pointless to worry about it because then i will start to think irrationally and try to pursue something which i'm not passionate about. by being uncertain, i'm opening myself up to more possibilities that my future may hold and then maybe i can find something that i will enjoy doing.

most people view 'success' as being happy. now that could be through money or family or pole-vaulting, whatever makes you happy. youre in college, a great time to figure out what you enjoy doing so start trying new things and maybe you can even find a hobby that will keep you excited at the very least.

patience young grasshopper

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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: life and anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13579684 - 12/03/10 11:04 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Your future will be the same whether you worry or not. So why not just go through it with ease? Don't stress yourself, remember that you are not alone. There are billions of us here and we all go through the same shit. Maybe not the same situations but we all go through the stress, anxiety, and all that bullshit. It's messed up but it's their regardless. We can't avoid it, don't try to avoid it because it just gets worse. Try not to pay too much attention to it, just know that it's there. Make it your friend so you can finally be comfortable with yourself. Talking with your parents about it will help you ALOT. They are your parents man they love you. Don't be afraid. Talk about it man don't keep these things to yourself. It will kill you slowly like cancer. If that doesn't help well then i LOVE you man. :hippie: 

"Don't Worry, Be Happy"
- Meher baba


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Re: life and anxiety [Re: zZZz]
    #13579759 - 12/03/10 11:28 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Life is such a trip...mindfulness and meditation are really good. Maybe start up some healthy habits you like, playing music, drawing, nature walk, meditation, studying whatever... and just flow. Your leading yourself on this crazy course, even when it seems like to whatever "you" your ego tries to hold onto, cant see it. Your always exactly where you need to be, no need to worry that will only take you further away from where your going. Flow with life and work towards things that interest you. Merge with the moment, remove desire, you have all you want and all you need by just breathing. You know the answer to all your problems as you've said. I love you and all these things are somewhat new to myself as well. May we both find ourselves and lose our self in the process.:heart::thumbup:

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Anonymous #1

Re: life and anxiety [Re: weshroom]
    #13580128 - 12/04/10 01:54 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks for the replies guys, when your filled with anxiety it's definitely easy to forget that you can get rid of it just by going with the flow. I came by this quote by Eckart Tolle in the Power of Now that makes sense to me also.

Quote:


Some people get angry when they hear me say that problems are illusions. I am threatening to take away their sense of who they are. They have invested much time in a false sense of self. For many years, they have unconsciously defined their whole identity in terms of' their problems or their suffering. Who would they be without it?




After having anxiety for a few years being without it would definitely feel like a different me which is maybe why the ego resists when I try to consistently think positive and imagine a more confident, successful me. I'm sure it being a habit is a big part too though or a more valid explanation?

Edited by Anonymous (12/04/10 01:54 AM)

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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: life and anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13580194 - 12/04/10 02:24 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Anon I used to breathe anxiety every day. It was a huge part of my life. I cant tell you exactly what I was able to do to overcome it, because it took a lot of work and introspection to do it. One of the biggest motivators to not be affected by it anymore I think was when I came to the understanding that I am going to die, and nothing will hold significance after that. My consciousness on this level will cease to exist, and nothing I have done or felt will matter like it does to me know.

Truly I am starting to understand more and more that this life is a self-created illusion that belongs to something much greater we will never understand as human beings. You and I have for some reason been given this ultimate gift of consciousness, use it every chance you can to appreciate life. Feel the positive energy that is all around you, and understand that those neurotic thoughts you experience are meaningless in the long run, so why struggle with them at all? Just let go.

Get in that behavior, of letting go. Keep reminding yourself of this, and just enjoy what you have, which is a whole hell of a lot, while you have it.


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notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Anonymous #1

Re: life and anxiety [Re: ManianFH]
    #13581245 - 12/04/10 11:26 AM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I think about that Mick, but then I think about what made what made us, where do we go when we die, what's eternity going to be like and what would we do for eternity which never ends. If we become nothing then how would we become nothing. You know, pointless questions like that which kind of freak me out. Also I should add it's not that I don't want to die(I don't want to live forever), but how fast life is going by and the existential thoughts sometimes get to me.

What you said Mick though reminded me of my first acid trip and the things I learned which I haven't thought about in a long time, probably because of the difficult and sort of embarrassing comedown. I experienced true happiness and I was amazed at the hallucinations I was seeing thinking beyond all the destruction we see, the world is really a beautiful place. But then I came down and started getting panicky and started feeling anxiety. So I guess that's what it like now, underneath all this irrational thoughts there's calm and happiness, it's just a constant fight against my ego to get out the habit of being so negative.

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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: life and anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13581379 - 12/04/10 12:08 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

I think you're on the right track. That you understand some of these concepts and are trying to 'fight' against the negative feelings to find the calm and happiness beneath is a good thing. I guess what you need to understand is that the 'fight' is probably against the wrong thing. These negative thoughts and anxious feelings are (biologically/chemically) nothing more than behaviors within your mind. The fight against the emotions themselves are going to create more of a struggle and more complications than it is to view the thoughts as Behaviors, that you need to stop conditioning to occur, for you to enjoy the mental behaviors that bring good to your life.

I would recommend approaching them this way,

when you feel overcome with anxiety over something, try to remember:

a. 'this is occurring in my head and it is a chemical process that I can change'
b. refocus your thoughts onto something else, something neutral and something that will use your attention so you dont focus on the original anxiety causing thought
c. keep yourself involved in other activities (plan ahead of time what those activities will be) until your anxiety has passed.
d. once the anxiety has passed, reflect on the event by writing in a journal or meditating on it,... like others have said meditation is very helpful, so is writing your thoughts out.
e. remind yourself of the basic truth which life is, you said it in your last post: the world is a beautiful place... this is our chance to experience something magnificent before we die (we cant control what happens after we die [unless you have religious beliefs which is fine too], so dont even worry about that). This is your opportunity to experience the best in life, and it is and always will be your choice whether to focus on the good, or the bad.. the behaviors are yours to condition. YOU have a choice.

try that scheme out for a while, every time you experience anxiety or a negative thought process, go through these steps... study them, and elaborate more on them, until you have created a way of flagging negative behavioral schemes in your mental processes that you want to eliminate... and use it to encourage the good schemes within yourself. it takes some work, but in the end, its really not too different than training yourself to put your keys in a certain place everytime you get home at night, after youve spent the last few years throwing them on the floor...


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Anonymous #1

Re: life and anxiety [Re: ManianFH]
    #13581648 - 12/04/10 01:32 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks for the advice. Another problem I was having was I was looking back at the all the anxiety and thinking what a waste of those years, especially since I had it through high school and you only get one high school experience. But even now I'm thinking it wasn't completely bad, I did have good times and I learned a lot through the anxiety. Accepting that negative experiences/failures is just as much as part of positive ones helps and each has it's place.

Come to think of it life would be pretty boring if if everything went exactly as planned 100 percent of the time.

Again, thanks for the replies I definitely feel a lot better than before I posted this thread and I feel it will only get better over time, and if it doesn't I can accept that too. :tongue:

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Re: life and anxiety [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13582000 - 12/04/10 03:11 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Also, I like to think of anxiety as workable energy in the body. The anxiety you've always been facing you can use to better yourself and empower yourself. Just try transforming it next time, if you start to feel the anxiety focus outside your body at your hands infront of you. Imagine and focus on pulling that anxiety out into a ball infront of you. Give that ball a shape and color depending on how it feels. Then turn it light, clear, and concentrate the energy. Just focus on that for a while, pulling the anxiety out and transforming it. You dont even have to use your hands and can just use your mind if you want. Then its more neurolinguistic programming and visualization as opposed to qigong. If your just visualizing with your mind gradually make it smaller and clearer until it is nonexistent. Both are good tools. You have alot of anxiety=you have alot of energy. Transform it and send it out into the universe or yourself as light and love :smile:

Edited by weshroom (12/04/10 03:17 PM)

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Offlinedshow
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Re: life and anxiety [Re: weshroom]
    #13582514 - 12/04/10 05:21 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Money isnt the answer to happiness. But it helps. I went to college flunked 2 years in a row. took a 2 year break. and now im determined to go back and get myself a good paying career. My point is dont be like me. dont go back. I look back and think i could have already been graduated making money and be flying to other countries on my vacations by now. But no.. here i am, having to re-do everything. sucks. What a waste of time.

What your thinking/doing, everyone does it, some people just try to hide it. Live life to the fullest man. im saying literally do whatever it is you please. even spare of the moment things. Just live it up, you only got 1 :wink:

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Anonymous #1

Re: life and anxiety [Re: weshroom]
    #13582941 - 12/04/10 06:48 PM (13 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

weshroom said:
Also, I like to think of anxiety as workable energy in the body. The anxiety you've always been facing you can use to better yourself and empower yourself.




That reminds me of this article I read by a sports psychologist. He said people who were nervous before a game looked at the butterflies they got as nervousness and anxiety where as the people that didn't feel nervous and then got butterflies looked at it as excitement to play, and the same was for right before a test in academic settings.

This makes me wonder, are the two types of adrenaline( one where you feel good and one where you have anxiety) chemically different or is it just psychological?

To dshow, I'm not worried about money, more worried about living a fulfilling and happy life which I know only happens after letting go of that attachment. As for your last line I'm trying to do more of that, just taking life moment by moment. Good luck with college though, sometimes there's detours in life.

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