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 circularvortex
Bass Head
 
Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc: 
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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 Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? 
#13572226 - 12/02/10 08:44 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ugh.
I'm finishing my last semester of college this month and it's crunch time as far as exams go. I've got one on saturday that I need to get an 80% on to pass, and if I don't pass it I don't graduate. This is on top of all my other exams, projects, papers, what have you.
To make things more complicated I'm moving out of my apartment at the end of the month and my landlady is showing the apartment. Yesterday my girlfriend and I spent a couple hours cleaning the fuck out of my apartment so it could be shown.
Landlady came through with some people and was a royal fucking bitch to me afterwards, complaining about the nitpickiest little fucking details and telling me that my house is "not presentable." I stared her down and told her this place is in better condition than it was when she showed it to me, and that it is definitely fine to be shown to people renting it, as I think most sane and rational human beings understand that once you move all of your shit out you can do a far more thorough cleaning job. She's telling me the place needs to be at the standard it should be when I move out for the next month, which is fucking horse shit.
To make matters worse, she CALLED MY FUCKING PARENTS to tattle on me because they co-signed my lease. I'm 23. I just got told on to my parents. Then I get a phone call from my dad, just absolutely livid. I tried to explain to him that I cleaned the fuck out of my place and it is totally showable. He just kept shouting that it needs to be how it should be when I move out, and thankfully I was at work so I used that to get off the phone cause I was getting REALLY pissed and may have said some things I'd regret.
It's so nice to know the confidence my family has in me. I'm very glad my dad would take the word of some dumb old fucking Polack bitch (whom I think he hasn't ever met or even spoken with prior to this) over that of his firstborn son. He clearly didn't pause to consider what I said at all, and just assumed that my apartment is some disgusting shit hole.
Ugh. I'm so fucking busy and I've got people screaming at me cause there's some dust on my fucking stove vent hood
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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
  
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 Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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 Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: circularvortex]
#13572275 - 12/02/10 09:00 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
circularvortex said:
She's telling me the place needs to be at the standard it should be when I move out
He just kept shouting that it needs to be how it should be when I move out
call both the leasing agent and your father and ask which one will be
renting you a place to move your stuff because the condition it'll be
in when you move out is EMPTY
then tell the both to suck your dick because they shouldnt be showing an
apartment until it's vacant, typically they have a 'model' to show
or a few empty ones available for show... I've never rented an apartment
that was occupied when it was shown, they've always been vacant
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: circularvortex]
#13572303 - 12/02/10 09:12 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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KILL THEM ALL
then proceede to drink thier brians in vodka
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EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT 
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j0nnyb0y05
IBelieveInBelivin
Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2,076
Loc: Going Going, Back Back to
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Salomon] 1
#13572328 - 12/02/10 09:16 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Good luck with school, finals suck dick.
Sorry bout the rents, They just dont understand. 
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.....Healing Of People Everywhere..... 
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Salomon]
#13572351 - 12/02/10 09:22 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thats fucked up, bro! When I lived in Green Bay I had this total twat of a landlord. A froggy voiced, leather boot of a bitch she was. She tried telling me not to cook pizza because the cheese cakes to the oven...then she said told me not to cook onions because it'll make the halls smell.
Nevermind the Mexicans that mustve been cooking possum rectum, making that joint stink like a trash can fermenting in the sun...
"Lick my crooked tip, ho"
I can certainly relate to a bitch of a landlord.
p.s. Fuck your dad
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circularvortex
Bass Head
Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Prisoner#1]
#13572470 - 12/02/10 09:55 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
circularvortex said:
She's telling me the place needs to be at the standard it should be when I move out
He just kept shouting that it needs to be how it should be when I move out
call both the leasing agent and your father and ask which one will be
renting you a place to move your stuff because the condition it'll be
in when you move out is EMPTY
then tell the both to suck your dick because they shouldnt be showing an
apartment until it's vacant, typically they have a 'model' to show
or a few empty ones available for show... I've never rented an apartment
that was occupied when it was shown, they've always been vacant
Well it's a duplex. I understand her needing to show the place, but like you said it's fucking impossible to have it at the standard it will be at when I move out.
I think maybe he was mad about something else when he called me. Or drunk. Or both. He sent me a bunch of nasty emails after too. I don't really care that I have to do more cleaning (though it is more strain on my already very busy schedule), I'm just pissed my family sided with some bitch they don't even know over me.
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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
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Beanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX
Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: circularvortex]
#13572477 - 12/02/10 09:58 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah another month and 13 days, I wonder what it will bring...
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circularvortex
Bass Head
Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Beanhead]
#13572492 - 12/02/10 10:02 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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So I think I'm gonna clean the fuck out of the place even better. Make it shine like a diamond.
Then I'm just gonna be REALLY fucking weird whenever the landlady brings people in to look at the place.
Help me with some ideas to weird people out and make them not want to live in the same house that I lived in, while not holding myself liable in any way. So far I have:
Wearing a dress
Picking my nose
Shouting strange things while they're in other rooms (ex. DONKEY BONER, HORSE COCKS, MONKEY TESTICALS)
Having a loud pretend phone conversation about 'the crazy gay sex that was going on in here last night'
any others?
--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
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the bizzle
the joke that no one spoke
Registered: 04/14/09
Posts: 11,870
Loc: :seriousbusiness:
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: circularvortex]
#13572505 - 12/02/10 10:05 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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"every terrible thing is a relief
even months on end buried in grief"
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MY HAIR IS A BIRD
YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID
   
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Beanhead
IS IRONIC PARADOX
Registered: 10/11/08
Posts: 17,257
Loc: Geospatial inversion.
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: circularvortex]
#13572508 - 12/02/10 10:06 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
circularvortex said:
So I think I'm gonna clean the fuck out of the place even better. Make it shine like a diamond.
Then I'm just gonna be REALLY fucking weird whenever the landlady brings people in to look at the place.
Help me with some ideas to weird people out and make them not want to live in the same house that I lived in, while not holding myself liable in any way. So far I have:
Wearing a dress
Picking my nose
Shouting strange things while they're in other rooms (ex. DONKEY BONER, HORSE COCKS, MONKEY TESTICALS)
Having a loud pretend phone conversation about 'the crazy gay sex that was going on in here last night'
any others?
I don't have any suggestions but if you do any of those, keep this thread updated!
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...
Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 6 months, 11 days
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Beanhead]
#13572513 - 12/02/10 10:09 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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I too would like to fast forward two months so I can be off probation and easily get a job 
Hope shit goes smoothly for you CircularVortex
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Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...
At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ
Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: circularvortex]
#13572516 - 12/02/10 10:12 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
circularvortex said:
So I think I'm gonna clean the fuck out of the place even better. Make it shine like a diamond.
Then I'm just gonna be REALLY fucking weird whenever the landlady brings people in to look at the place.
Help me with some ideas to weird people out and make them not want to live in the same house that I lived in, while not holding myself liable in any way. So far I have:
Wearing a dress
Picking my nose
Shouting strange things while they're in other rooms (ex. DONKEY BONER, HORSE COCKS, MONKEY TESTICALS)
Having a loud pretend phone conversation about 'the crazy gay sex that was going on in here last night'
any others?
just follow them around and tell them stories about how it took FOREVER to wash off all the semen stains and you think you got them all......
then be like don't even worry about the blood stains from when your friend shot himself in the head, cause you painted over em.
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EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Acaterpillar]
#13572526 - 12/02/10 10:14 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
circularvortex said:
any others?
If you make eye contact with any of em just say "They're all pink on the inside" and then put your head down and stare solemnly at the floor.
or when you know they're coming go take a shit just before they arrive(preferably awfully nasty) and dont flush it down...
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j0nnyb0y05
IBelieveInBelivin
Registered: 09/01/07
Posts: 2,076
Loc: Going Going, Back Back to
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Salomon]
#13572534 - 12/02/10 10:15 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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you can act like your possessed by a demon
Be crazy for a bit, then switch back to normal, then crazy, then normal.
;D
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.....Healing Of People Everywhere.....
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jewunit
Brutal!
Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Prisoner#1]
#13572536 - 12/02/10 10:16 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
circularvortex said:
She's telling me the place needs to be at the standard it should be when I move out
He just kept shouting that it needs to be how it should be when I move out
call both the leasing agent and your father and ask which one will be
renting you a place to move your stuff because the condition it'll be
in when you move out is EMPTY
then tell the both to suck your dick because they shouldnt be showing an
apartment until it's vacant, typically they have a 'model' to show
or a few empty ones available for show... I've never rented an apartment
that was occupied when it was shown, they've always been vacant
Not on college campuses. Come January through about March (here at least) you can definitely expect people to come to your apartment until it gets rented out or you resign the lease. It does sound like his landlady was being a huge bitch though.
Circularvortex: When do you move out in relation to your finals? I wouldn't even worry about having the place clean. Check your lease but I'm pretty sure there isn't a damn thing she can do about your apartment being messy (within reason) while you live there. Clean the hell out of it and take pictures when you move out. She's probably gonna try and stick you with bullshit security deposit holds.
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!
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circularvortex
Bass Head
Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: jewunit]
#13572565 - 12/02/10 10:26 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah. I looked in the lease. It says she can charge me to hire people to clean the apartment, but she won't.
I'm definitely taking pictures of everything when I move out cause the bitch is gonna try to keep all of it I'm 100% sure.
I'll be moving out after my finals, though I'll probably start putting stuff in boxes soon.
Oh, and on a personal note I sent my dad pictures of the place last night before I went to bed and I just got an email from him apologizing about flying off the handle and that he would talk to her.
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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?
Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Prisoner#1]
#13572589 - 12/02/10 10:36 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
then tell the both to suck your dick because they shouldnt be showing an
apartment until it's vacant, typically they have a 'model' to show
or a few empty ones available for show... I've never rented an apartment
that was occupied when it was shown, they've always been vacant
Any landlord who knows a tenant is moving out... that doesn't show the apartment before it's vacated... is an idiot.
As a landlord, why the hell would I leave an apartment that generates 800 to 1500 a month vacant any longer than I need to? Out of the goodness of my heart?
I give 24 hours notice before I show the place. Other than that, tough shit.
Your suggestion of a "model" would work if there were similar apartments in the building. As many older larger homes have been converted to an apartment building, it's simply not practical all the time. As well, any landlord who would leave a rentable apartment(s) empty in the chance they may need to show one... falls into the aforementioned "idiot" category.
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You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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Acaterpillar
A little mad...
Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
Loc: Down the rabbit hole
Last seen: 6 months, 11 days
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: luvdemshrooms]
#13572667 - 12/02/10 11:00 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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So you're a landlord Luvdemshrooms? I'm looking for a place to stay right now...
Think you could give me a shroomerite discount on the lease?
--------------------
Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...
At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.
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circularvortex
Bass Head
Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: shLong]
#13572732 - 12/02/10 11:19 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
shLong said:
Quote:
circularvortex said:
any others?
If you make eye contact with any of em just say "They're all pink on the inside" and then put your head down and stare solemnly at the floor.
or when you know they're coming go take a shit just before they arrive(preferably awfully nasty) and dont flush it down...
I really like the first one. I should take a gun apart and be cleaning it when they come in, too....
--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
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Epilson Lyrae
Armed with hammers
Registered: 04/07/09
Posts: 5,561
Loc: Woody Creek
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Acaterpillar]
#13572744 - 12/02/10 11:24 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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It's really hard to get rid of that 'dead hooker in the crawlspace' smell.
Maybe try using more lime. 
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"Freedom is something that dies unless it's used." H.T.
I've come to believe that the heart is the filter of the enlightened mind. Epilson Lyrae
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shLong
Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Epilson Lyrae]
#13572807 - 12/02/10 11:37 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Epilson Lyrae said:
It's really hard to get rid of that 'dead hooker in the crawlspace' smell.
Maybe try using more lime.
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PoisonCrazy
Stranger
Registered: 02/27/10
Posts: 635
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: shLong]
#13573308 - 12/02/10 01:28 PM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah it's pretty standard to show an apartment while people are in it.
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Nexius
Ruler
Registered: 06/24/07
Posts: 3,960
Loc: Earth
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: circularvortex]
#13573333 - 12/02/10 01:32 PM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
circularvortex said:
Ugh.
I'm finishing my last semester of college this month and it's crunch time as far as exams go. I've got one on saturday that I need to get an 80% on to pass, and if I don't pass it I don't graduate. This is on top of all my other exams, projects, papers, what have you.
To make things more complicated I'm moving out of my apartment at the end of the month and my landlady is showing the apartment. Yesterday my girlfriend and I spent a couple hours cleaning the fuck out of my apartment so it could be shown.
Landlady came through with some people and was a royal fucking bitch to me afterwards, complaining about the nitpickiest little fucking details and telling me that my house is "not presentable." I stared her down and told her this place is in better condition than it was when she showed it to me, and that it is definitely fine to be shown to people renting it, as I think most sane and rational human beings understand that once you move all of your shit out you can do a far more thorough cleaning job. She's telling me the place needs to be at the standard it should be when I move out for the next month, which is fucking horse shit.
To make matters worse, she CALLED MY FUCKING PARENTS to tattle on me because they co-signed my lease. I'm 23. I just got told on to my parents. Then I get a phone call from my dad, just absolutely livid. I tried to explain to him that I cleaned the fuck out of my place and it is totally showable. He just kept shouting that it needs to be how it should be when I move out, and thankfully I was at work so I used that to get off the phone cause I was getting REALLY pissed and may have said some things I'd regret.
It's so nice to know the confidence my family has in me. I'm very glad my dad would take the word of some dumb old fucking Polack bitch (whom I think he hasn't ever met or even spoken with prior to this) over that of his firstborn son. He clearly didn't pause to consider what I said at all, and just assumed that my apartment is some disgusting shit hole.
Ugh. I'm so fucking busy and I've got people screaming at me cause there's some dust on my fucking stove vent hood
Just shoot yourself now then
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Light travels faster than sound, which is why some people appear bright, until you hear them speak
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circularvortex
Bass Head
Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Nexius]
#13630613 - 12/14/10 09:13 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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So she finally got the apartment rented out. I never did any of the crazy stuff. Didn't have time to plan it and didn't want to deal with the hassle. I'm just glad she won't be coming by anymore.
I finally just chewed her out this morning pretty good. She's been pestering me the last 3 days about when I'll be out of the apartment cause she wants to do some repairs on the place before the next person moves in. I've been telling her that if I get myself out early I'll let her know, but I'm not gonna commit to moving out by a date that I've paid for.
She called this morning with a sob story about how it's the holidays and she's gonna have trouble getting in there to clean and could I please be out by the 28th? I have to finish all my projects/exams, deal with graduating, move all of my things, and I'm taking a trip to Indiana (ugh) with my girlfriend to see her family for christmas. I'm fucking busy. Told her if she was so worried about having enough time she shouldn't have started the new lease so soon after mine ended and hung up the phone on her. Fuck you, bitch. I paid for those days. Quit fucking pressuring me to leave.
--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
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Gumby
Fishnologist
Registered: 06/13/01
Posts: 26,656
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: circularvortex]
#13630619 - 12/14/10 09:17 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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If she starts shit again tell her that if she asks you to move out early one more time you will file a harassment complaint with the police.
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circularvortex
Bass Head
Registered: 08/31/06
Posts: 12,148
Loc:
Last seen: 1 month, 13 days
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Re: Le sigh, can I fast forward my life a little bit please? Like 2 months? [Re: Gumby]
#13630661 - 12/14/10 09:30 AM (13 years, 4 months ago) |
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That's a good idea. She backed down pretty good this time and said she wouldn't bother me again, but if it does happen I might just take your advice.
--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.
For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder.
Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.
|
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