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Well, there's no doubt that ol' CJ is a slut, he bounces from partner to partner like a ball in a pinball machine. Fortunately, all of my partners (these days) have became good friends, trustworthy and dependable men (and women) that have become tender-hearted companions. Yet, as partners existing within a larger community, I still find myself becoming jealous when I don't get what I want, especially when a partner gets exactly what I can't have. Let's say, I have a wonderful friend - a very wise Zen-motercycling mystic, somebody that I should count my blessings over for even giving me the time of day. While my feelings cross over into romantic and erotic dimensions, his do not for me, in part, I think, because he is more comfortable, loving, and enjoying of himself than I do for myself. So, when I introduced him to one of my partners, one of my favored sweeties, a truly wonderful soul, and then they hit it off w/ the eros that I didn't expect.... well, I distracted myself and met some new very wonderful men, that I couldn't fully attend to and give myself to, in a tender-hearted way --- I think I try to put on a show and impress people when I feel sore about something. Despite this, I think they enjoyed my company and I look forward to meeting them again in a lighter situation. I should let this sore be, but I'll most likely pour salt in the wound all day.
What do you people think? I'm ashamed of some of my internal feelings and thoughts, they're well masked in social situations. I'm not sure if I fess up on my feelings towards this man and ask for what I want. I feel fortunate that one of my favorite spiritual teachers, Ram Dass, has shared a lot of his own similar experiences, like his own intense desire for Bahgavan Das.
-------------------- Everything is better than it was the last time. I'm good.
If we could look into each others hearts, and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.
It takes a lot of courage to go out there and radiate your essence.
I know you scared, you should ask us if we scared too. If you was there, and we just knew you cared too.
Hmm so are you seeking advice to balance your sexual center..or advice on pursuing this person(s).
Either way, my advice is the same.. Be honest, with yourself and others. Do not sell yourself short. Come to terms with the reality of your feelings and express them to those you need to. BE HONEST. Do not make up or add on to anything... tell yourself and others exactly what you are thinking. Honesty requires no thought, just action.