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Anonymous
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 The Irish-Iraqi War 
#1353630 - 03/06/03 03:15 AM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
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Saddam Hussein was sitting in his office wondering whom to invade next when his telephone rang.
"Hallo, Mr. Hussein," a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Sligo, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"
"Well, Paddy," Saddam replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"
"Right now," said Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Sean, my next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire dart team from the pub. That makes eight!"
Saddam paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Begorra!", said Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back!"
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy called again. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"
"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Saddam asked.
"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."
Saddam sighed. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2 million since we last spoke."
"Saints preserve us!" said Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
Sure enough, Paddy rang again the next day. "Mr. Hussein, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We've modified Harrigan's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
Saddam was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"
"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!", said Paddy, "I'll have to ring you back."
Sure enough, Paddy called again the next day. "Top o'the mornin', Mr. Hussein! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call off the war."
"I'm sorry to hear that," said Saddam. "Why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well," said Paddy, "we've all had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and decided there's no way we can feed two million prisoners."
God Bless the Irish!
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 Lana
Head Banana
Registered: 10/28/99
Posts: 3,105
Loc: www.MycoSupply.com
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 Re: The Irish-Iraqi War [Re: ]
#1353640 - 03/06/03 03:22 AM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
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HAHAHAHA! I LOVE IT!
Lana
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Myco Supply - Distributors of Mycological Products
http://www.MycoSupply.com
The Premiere Source for Mushroom Growing Supplies.
Visit us online or call us toll free
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Innvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Registered: 02/09/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
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Re: The Irish-Iraqi War [Re: ]
#1353652 - 03/06/03 03:32 AM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
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i heard that one already. It's pretty funny.
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America....FUCK YEAH!!!
Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights
"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson
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 AislingGheal
A wave on the ocean
Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 988
Loc: Northern Ohio
Last seen: 8 hours, 4 minutes
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 Re: The Irish-Iraqi War [Re: ]
#1353728 - 03/06/03 04:36 AM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
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Just in time for St. Pats! I'll enjoy telling that one to my friends this week, thanks!
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"I hate having to pick between the lesser of two evils. But I'm glad Obama was elected. McCain was another war monger. I'd rather deal with our country going into debt than trying to take on afghanistan...oh wait FUCK!" - Fungus_tao
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GazzBut
Refraction
Registered: 10/15/02
Posts: 4,770
Loc: London UK
Last seen: 14 days, 20 hours
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Re: The Irish-Iraqi War [Re: ]
#1353753 - 03/06/03 04:57 AM (15 years, 1 month ago) |
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God Bless the Stereotype. 
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Always Smi2le
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