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Offlinemetrix
EL Pyro

Registered: 03/05/03
Posts: 12
Loc: keyboard
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Having troubles integrating...
    #1352749 - 03/05/03 03:12 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

The other night was about my 4th time doing shrooms.  I took 1/8 oz shrooms in tea form along with 2 of my friends who took 1/16 oz each and another person that was sober and I didn't really know.
Within about an hour i was gettin really open, i was taking my shirt off and telling the girls to take their shirts off and I was sort of getting out of control...this is where my memory has a huge gap. Apparently i stripped naked and was running around and outside the house saying i was god and nothing could hurt me. I was grabbing the girls and making them look at my naked body and saying I wanted to f-ck them, and everyone and f-ck mountains and pimp the whole world. They ran away from me and  eventually I found myself alone in my friends basement, sitting naked in a chair, talking to myself.
This is where my memory picks up again. I thought I was God and the Universe, I had stopped the universe and I was about to form a Big Bang. I thought since i God , i would make everyone in the world come around me and teach them about my ways. I beleived that I had everyone in the world and everyone that I knew sitting around me, all invisible, so they could all pack in there. Well this went on and eventually i came to a scary ending where i had completely figured out the universe and I was alone. I remember hating the fact the i figured it out and i was very very suicidal, because since i knew it, i would never be able to go back to my old life, where i was oblivious of what i called, "the cosmic Joke". 
My friends had apparently sent in 2 people that i know to help sober me down because they were worried, but i was 100% sure that these people fit into my big depressing theory, and they were trying to teach me but i was the type of person that could never learn and was doomed, and i thought I was actually creating them but i couldn't trick myself, which sent me spiralling downward even more.
Eventually i tried to give up and sleep, but i thought sleeping was just a way of confirming my uselessness and i would die when i fell asleep. So i didn't sleep, i drove home and tried to forget it all.

For the past few days i have been trying to explain what happened, because it felt like it wasnt me. I can't even sleep properly, because every night i fall into this long ,weird, vague dream of me trying to figure some big thing out. It's really MESSED UP. My friends won't even talk to me and this reaccuring dream is really pissing me off.

Help me?  :confused: 


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OfflineLoverofEarth
spirit on ajourney

Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 206
Loc: the in-between
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Having troubles integrating... [Re: metrix]
    #1352937 - 03/05/03 04:36 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

man, heres what I think. you were probably on the verge of some mind bending universal truth, okay? and then your ego or shadow or some internal demons, etc. decided it wanted to fuck with you.. you know, see how 'together' you really were. it was a test man, you just have to pick apart what you learned from this experience, get to it before you don't remember what happened as vividly.


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Invisiblebigidiot
Stranger

Registered: 01/11/01
Posts: 1,153
Post deleted by Moe Howard [Re: metrix]
    #1352991 - 03/05/03 05:16 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)



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Invisibledownforpot
Stranger
Male
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 5,715
Re: Having troubles integrating... [Re: Anonymous]
    #1353201 - 03/05/03 07:21 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

maaan, I have tripped over 10 times and I have never had this, damn dude, sux what happened man. You just gonna have to live life dude, go do your daily routine, do not think about that shit, you are in your real world now. Whenever I go shroom, I think of it as a shroom world. After its over, I forget about it, I dont care what happened, I go do my daily shit. This might not work for every1.


--------------------



http://www.myspace.com/4th25


"And I don't care if he was handcuffed
Then shot in his head
All I know is dead bodies
Can't fuck with me again"


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Offlinemetrix
EL Pyro

Registered: 03/05/03
Posts: 12
Loc: keyboard
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
Re: Having troubles integrating... [Re: downforpot]
    #1354820 - 03/06/03 12:16 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I wanna do mush again but ever since that happened i have no clue what will happen in the next trip. Before my trips were mellow fun, but after that night how can I expect anything less than a hellish experience. I have cuts on my hands and I damaged the house and things in the house. Was the mushroom basically saying DONT COME BACK or what? I like how it made me more confident, open and creative, at first but im really confused...

ANd about that unvirsal truth thing. It may be true, but maybe i was selfish and just wanted to use the mushroom to my advantage, and the mushroom didn't like that so it caused me hell. Maybe....

I wish that someone else has heard of this type of thing happening... Why did it happen and how can i prevent it in the future and enjoy mushrooms again?

I'll be taking a long break =/
:crazy: 


Edited by metrix (03/06/03 12:18 PM)


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OfflineSolo
enthusiast
Registered: 11/08/98
Posts: 257
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: Having troubles integrating... [Re: metrix]
    #1390596 - 03/19/03 08:30 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

That sounds pretty far out dude.  I say be greatful that you still have your sanity!  And be greatful that you didn't get arrested naked :smile:  Seriously, in addition to your difficult internal experience, your outward behavior was very unusulal as well.  What if one of those girls went to the cops or told their parents and their fathers went to the cops.  Accosting girls while your naked is frowned upon by Johnny Law as well as society in general.  I wouln't trust myself taking shrooms again if I were you, even if your internal experience was a one time thing...do you really want to have some 'sex crime' on your permanent record and have to register as being convicted as a sex offender for the rest of you life and have that info available to the public where you live for the rest of you life?  And I know you didn't rape the girls, and I'm not saying you ever would...but the way that the laws are written I think that you could be charged and convicted of a sex crime for going up to a girl naked and holding her and making her look at your naked body and saying you wanted to fuck her.


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