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Registered: 02/26/03
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raising children objectively?
    #1352418 - 03/05/03 12:58 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I don't have children...but I was wondering...
Do you think it is possible to raise young children objectively (as far as not imposing your own spiritual/political/cultural etc. beliefs on them?). Personally, I don't see how you could since children usually tend to conform to the beliefs that their parents hold (up to a certain age, anyway).
Also, for those of you who DON'T presently believe in organized religion, but your parents were Christian (and you celebrated Christmas/Easter) as a child)...are you going to encourage your kids to believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny?

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Registered: 02/04/03
Posts: 15,800
Re: raising children objectively? [Re: zzenix]
    #1352906 - 03/05/03 04:15 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I don't think its possible, but I think those beliefs can be overcome easily. My family is very Ozzie & Harriet-like, no drinking, no smoking, no drugs. And then there's me. :grin: I was a good girl up until my teens, meaning that I believed what my parents told me, what my school told me, what the government told me. I don't know what exactly caused this 'shift' in the way I looked at the world, but I just started to question things and not take everything at face value. My political views then and now are radical in my family's eyes, my parents being Bush supporters. On the other hand, I have a feeling that my daughter will pick up on my cynicism when she gets older and will probably believe what I do for awhile...but I'm sure eventually she will make up her own mind.

I'm all for Santa and the Easter Bunny. I don't go to a church and am not a member of any organized religion, but I believe in god. Why deprive them of some of the fun parts of childhood? 

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Re: raising children objectively? [Re: zzenix]
    #1352944 - 03/05/03 04:41 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Why on Earth would you want to have children and not impose your will on them?
Kidding of course!
Kids need and want boundaries when they are young, then they test those as they mature. I've been on both sides now and have to admit that I tried to re-invent the "wheel" only to find that some ideas aren't wrong, just that I have my way of relating and understanding what the purpose was, in the first place. I think old adages like "don't throw the baby out with the bath water" are good rules of thumb with children. Give them some traditional values, beliefs, etc. then help them adapt their own views of those beliefs, even if it means that they abandon the traditional "storefronts" for those things. I try to be open to new ideas as long as I don't see fundamental problems or danger, which is the real difficulty for a parent.

"New shit has come to light..."

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Re: raising children objectively? [Re: zzenix]
    #1352951 - 03/05/03 04:50 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Someday if I have a kid I will not encourage him to believe in the Easter Bunny or Christmas, but I won't spill the beans and say that's its all fake, and that Christianity is being raped by commercialism. They will come to realize this on their own.

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Re: raising children objectively? [Re: zzenix]
    #1353607 - 03/06/03 02:42 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

I've thought about this one a lot since I partly regret how my parents raised me (like many of us do). I think if you're an open-minded and objective person your children will pick up on this and follow suit. Teach them by example rather than words that there's no set of beliefs that they MUST follow. If you can teach them to think for themselves and to always ask questions then they'd be years ahead of their peers in many respects. They might be called "smart alecs" by their teachers but at least they'll have a more realistic view of the world. But I digress...

It's really sad to see people dragging their kids to church/synagogue/mosque because they're sure their beliefs are the right ones so they must impose them on their 2 year old child as well. And we wonder why there's so many people brainwashed by religion... Ugh. As for Santa Claus and his less popular counterpart, I've decided against this. I'd want to raise my kids in an environment of complete honesty and openness, even if the Santa myth is just for fun.

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Re: raising children objectively? [Re: zzenix]
    #1354208 - 03/06/03 08:35 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Its not possible. If you raise them objectively they won't even learn how to speak..

Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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The greatEnitsuj

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Re: raising children objectively? [Re: zzenix]
    #1354334 - 03/06/03 09:19 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

hmm..i don't really know what i would do. i kinda like how my parents did things....they believe in god, but we never ever went to curch, i was not baptised, i was tought that christmas was giving a little something extra to the people you care about...easter was a fun time to go egg hunting....sure i new about god when i was a kid...reading books and stuff, but i didn't ever really think about it.
a couple times i was invited to go to curch with a friend when i was 13, my parents said that was fine with them.
and i did go a couple times, but i found it boring, and stupid. (just my opinion) and my parents were ok with that too.
they pretty much just let me find out about stuff on my own.
so if i were to ever have kids...i would probably do the same....

What fun is it in Nirvana while other beings are suffering?

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Reality Hacker

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Re: raising children objectively? [Re: zzenix]
    #1355298 - 03/06/03 05:15 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Just encourage them to be open-minded enough to form their own opinions and beliefs. It's that simple.

What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?

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Re: raising children objectively? [Re: zzenix]
    #1356328 - 03/07/03 06:43 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Give them the current cultural paradigms excepted dogma, relate your own perspective if different, and act as you would speak, otherwise they won't belive what you say anyway....

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Edited by upupup (03/07/03 06:45 AM)

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World-BridgerKartikeya (DftS)
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Re: raising children objectively? [Re: upupup]
    #1358656 - 03/08/03 05:03 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

To those who can't believe a child can't be raised without being imposed something like religion, i'm your living example, as a father but not as a son, that you're wrong. It's just a question of learning and teaching.


Spiritual being, living a human experience ... The Shroomery Mandala

Use, do not abuse; neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.

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General Interest >> Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology

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