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OfflineGrav
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Registered: 02/06/02
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Last seen: 9 years, 27 days
motivation monsters
    #1315833 - 02/18/03 05:28 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

sometimes I start to go crazy if I have nothing to do

i have times where i just like to chill out and listen to music or read or whatever, but alot of the time I feel really anxious to do something, but theres like this mental struggle i go through

one side of me is saying: 'do anything, create something, be productive'
and the other side is saying: 'bleeeeeeeeeeh waste of time, stop goofing off, go sit in your corner, it's where you belong'

when i think about it there is so many things I can do, and If i get in a habit of doing these things more often I know it will make for some good positivity.
but i have some dark area, probably stemmed from childhood, that tells me to just do nothing, and that all tasks I might pursue are worthless. and i think im traumatizing myself even more by feeding off that negativity.

im now in a full scale war against laziness. i want to create enjoyment.

i also need to get a job.

but motivation's got to start somewhere small, like your bedroom. spiral


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OfflineNomad
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Registered: 04/30/02
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Re: motivation monsters [Re: Grav]
    #1315884 - 02/18/03 06:05 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Motivation equals coffee.


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Invisibledee_N_ae
\/\/¡†¢h |-|øµ§³ ¢å†
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Registered: 08/16/02
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Re: motivation monsters [Re: Grav]
    #1315917 - 02/18/03 06:22 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

I can identify with what you're talking about...

Quote:

but i have some dark area, probably stemmed from childhood, that tells me to just do nothing, and that all tasks I might pursue are worthless. and i think im traumatizing myself even more by feeding off that negativity.




It's important that you've realized this...
I too have had this realization but I don't know what to make of it. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you right now: unemployed, creatively inclined, but lazy.
I don't feel traumatized by "feeding off that negativity" though, as I don't see it as negative but merely another aspect of my self.

Quote:

...all tasks I might pursue are worthless.



I get stuck on that feeling too a lot. It seems to come from having other people's ideas of what I can or should do (and the anticipated results of those actions) imposed upon me.
The most True inspiration, whether it's creative or intillectual, always comes from within.

Don't worry about the grandiose expectations of doing "Good". Listen to yourself and allow positivty to be your response.


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OfflineCockyMandrill
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Registered: 01/31/03
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Re: motivation monsters [Re: dee_N_ae]
    #1315960 - 02/18/03 06:40 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

If you have enough time to comtemplate all this you should go out and look for a job or work the job you already have a little more. Save up some money and you'll be better off. Just don't become bitter like many people who work a lot. Working is good for taking your mind off of things, and it pays.


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InvisibleSkorpivoMusterion
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Re: motivation monsters [Re: Grav]
    #1316270 - 02/18/03 09:25 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

It's really all about what you say when you talk to yourself....=)...everytime you do, you are subconsciously programming yourself.


--------------------
Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death, and sweet as love.


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Anonymous

Re: motivation monsters [Re: Grav]
    #1316308 - 02/18/03 10:06 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

I'm content in nothingness, when something worthy comes along, then i'll participate. I dunno, but I can see beauty in dirt and the fibers of my carpet. And that dark cloud that hovers over your head while your doing nothing, well thats something and its beautiful too.


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OfflineGrav
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Re: motivation monsters [Re: dee_N_ae]
    #1316436 - 02/18/03 10:49 AM (18 years, 11 months ago)

i feel like i stepped off the train to watch the grass grow, had some very profound experiences, but now i desperately need to find out where i was en route too.
i feel like something dramatically has to change in my life. i've thought about this alot, meditated on it, and I keep coming up with this answer, that I really need to apply myself elsewhere, for the sake of my own happiness.
i need to do something and walk beyond my fears of self-indulgence...

i feel like i've been in a giant daydream for the past couple years, with beautiful parts and terrifying parts, but it really feels time to sit up and take a good look around me and at my opportunities.

my biggest fear is somehow getting caught up in a soul-less lifestyle, and i'm so friggin sick of that, and having absolutely zero faith in myself.

guess it all comes back to being afraid of change
undeniable dilemma


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OfflineMurex
Reality Hacker

Registered: 07/28/02
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Re: motivation monsters [Re: Grav]
    #1316700 - 02/18/03 12:44 PM (18 years, 11 months ago)

Boardum is not a burden anyone should bear.


I'm with you on this Grav. I've had no job for months and in a way, I don't want one. But I feel this constant nagging that I need to get a job- or is that just my mother? Anyways, Stinkfist sums up this past time in my life- and I want change.

:frown:


--------------------
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?



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InvisibleGRTUD
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Male

Registered: 01/31/01
Posts: 270
Loc: United States
Re: motivation monsters [Re: Grav]
    #1327936 - 02/23/03 04:32 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

I think most people go through this kind of mind set from time to time. When these symptoms are presistent, it could be a signal of various problems so it is important to be as specific as possible about what you know about yourself.(Not that you should be revealing on a forum such as this, but rather with yourself) "Just the facts" is a good rule of thumb when trying to get oneself unstuck from mental traps. Much easier said than done, though.


--------------------
"New shit has come to light..."


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OfflineGrav
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Re: motivation monsters [Re: GRTUD]
    #1327992 - 02/23/03 05:37 AM (18 years, 10 months ago)

that's good advice
doing something like that seems like it could help remove any part of your ego that might be 'enforcing' your lack of action.
there are definately more forces at work than just simple laziness. (for some anyways)

but yea, that can be really hard when you are so far removed from reality you don't know what the facts of your life are...


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