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OfflineGrav
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Toolfans: laugh or scream?
    #1321002 - 02/20/03 05:22 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)



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OfflinePhluck
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Registered: 04/11/99
Posts: 11,393
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 10 months, 14 days
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Grav]
    #1321024 - 02/20/03 05:40 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

It's a joke.

Here's the clue:
"Think for yourself...question everything you read on the Tool Website."


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


Edited by Phluck (02/20/03 05:41 AM)


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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Grav]
    #1321028 - 02/20/03 05:44 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Went to the site and laughed when it encouraged me to put on "Sweat" because I have not heard it in a while. But the more I sit here and think the more it has started to piss me off. Time to use the worderful tact and skill of the American language to do some damage. I will let them know that parents who let children determine their own character are more or less the fans of Tool and all they are doing at this site is encouraging hatred.


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Grav]
    #1321032 - 02/20/03 05:47 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

My email to the site:
"You have nothing to fear from children listening to Tool. Tool is a band that encourages free-thinking. Much (most) of their website and philosophy is to be taken with a grain of salt as they try to stear their fans off course. This purpose is to allow them to develope to the best of their ability without the intervention of current societal barriers. Most parents and children who listen to Tool have already choosen free-thinking and will not listen to others trying to change their thoughts. This is called self-esteem and self-preservation and I will always agree to defend such."


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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OfflineGrav
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Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Phluck]
    #1321035 - 02/20/03 05:48 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

is it a joke?
i dont know.


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Offlinediggitydankman
No longer aCannabisConnoisseur

Registered: 12/10/02
Posts: 479
Loc: Michgan
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Phluck]
    #1321049 - 02/20/03 05:55 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Joke, huh? Damn I was happy to write that email.


--------------------
"It's only wrong if you get caught.
If consequences dictate
my course of action
I should play GOD."

Maynard James Keenan, Tool


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OfflineParabol(a)
newbie

Registered: 12/31/02
Posts: 46
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: diggitydankman]
    #1321688 - 02/20/03 10:21 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

damn, shit like that website just sets me off. Anyways i dont really think it is a joke, it seems to be to thorough for a joke site..

Btw nice letter ddman.

--Mike


--------------------
"There is no loftier mission than to approach the godhead nearer than other people,and to disseminate the divine rays umong humanity"


Edited by Parabol(a) (02/20/03 10:31 AM)


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Offlineshroominbloom
i have arrived

Registered: 11/18/02
Posts: 457
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Grav]
    #1321710 - 02/20/03 10:27 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

laugh


--------------------
ha


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OfflinePhluck
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Registered: 04/11/99
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Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Parabol(a)]
    #1321766 - 02/20/03 10:42 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

"it seems to be to thorough for a joke site"

It's a well done joke site. There is a pretty blatant clue on the page, which I pointed out in my other post.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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OfflineParabol(a)
newbie

Registered: 12/31/02
Posts: 46
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Phluck]
    #1322810 - 02/20/03 05:38 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Yeah i saw your post and the line on the site. ... When i visited the site i diddnt see many indications of it being a joke, i of coarse could have (probably did) overlook many of them.
Upon a second look i do take it alot lighter and can see how you might think it is a joke site. To be honest i have no idea if it is or isn't. It is however interesting that the site is now "no longer availiable"



--------------------
"There is no loftier mission than to approach the godhead nearer than other people,and to disseminate the divine rays umong humanity"


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Parabol(a)]
    #1322828 - 02/20/03 05:46 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

"Yeah i saw your post and the line on the site. "

The line is a reference to something, not just an instruction.


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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Invisibledee_N_ae
\/\/¡†¢h |-|øµ§³ ¢å†
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Registered: 08/16/02
Posts: 2,473
Loc: The Shadow of Neptune
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Grav]
    #1322860 - 02/20/03 06:01 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Maybe they changed the site to toolbandlyrics.com? that's what's linked at toolband-sucks.com now...
It looks pretty serious to me.


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Offline3eyedgod
trippinkid

Registered: 11/24/02
Posts: 684
Loc: Far away and very near
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Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Grav]
    #1324840 - 02/21/03 01:54 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Notice Opiate was the first song listed under Tool lyrics.

Hehe... :grin:


--------------------
Without everything wouldn't nothing be everything and without nothing wouldn't everything be nothing.I am the beginning and the end,the source and the void, the light and the darkness,i am but a small drop of the ocean yet i am an ocean unto myself


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OfflineMurex
Reality Hacker

Registered: 07/28/02
Posts: 3,599
Loc: Traped in a shell.
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Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Grav]
    #1325036 - 02/21/03 03:55 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Typical programed christian bullshit. I can't even begin to describe how stupid this site is.  :tongue:


--------------------
What if everything around you
Isn't quite as it seems?
What if all the world you think you know,
Is an elaborate dream?
And if you look at your reflection,
Is it all you want it to be?



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Anonymous

Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Grav]
    #1325048 - 02/21/03 04:08 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

That site makes me chuckle.

People are so silly!


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OfflineSheepish
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Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
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Last seen: 1 month, 8 days
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Grav]
    #1326928 - 02/22/03 05:39 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

There were a few news items on www.toolband.com recently about that site. I suggest you go check out the latest news.


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InvisibleIn(di)go
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Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Sheepish]
    #1327660 - 02/23/03 12:30 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

hmmm... site is not available anymore... but i guess i didnt miss anything... i read the comments from maynard about the site, and well... sounds ridiculous...


--------------------


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OfflineSheepish
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Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: In(di)go]
    #1327680 - 02/23/03 12:39 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

*chuckle* Yeah, considering most Tool fans have had a lot of positive listening experiences from Tool, not the evil and mind warping bullshit that site talks about. I like the way Blair (I think it was him) pointed out how the Bible is far more violent than any Tool albums and the major inconsistancies within the Bible and such.
Maybe someone hacked the site? I wouldn't be surprised if it was!


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OfflineSheepish
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Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Sheepish]
    #1327685 - 02/23/03 12:43 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

(Taken from www.toolband.com/news/index.html )

04 Feb 03
WWW.TOOLBAND - SUCKS.COM
In the last few days I have received dozens of emails from Tool fans telling me to check out this "hilarious anti-Tool website." Well, I recently did so, and the e-mailers were right; it is kind of amusing to read their rants about Tool?s lyrics and the contents of the website written by Kat and yours truly. But it?s not hard to figure out the agenda of those responsible for the site, as the first thing one notices is the familiar ?fish? symbol of certain Xtians (actually a stylized slanted vagina - such was the genius of Jesus and his true disciples [A COVEN of Twelve plus One = 13], knowing that the masses would condemn what they, themselves, treasured, leaving such a precious (and RARE) commodity to the cult/secret society that lies (did) at the core of true Christianity. Can anyone have any doubts that Jesus, himself, was a practicing magician schooled in the ancient (Gnostic) Egyptian mysteries (now do the Biblical Three Wise Men, or MAGI [from which we derive the word Magic] make more sense? And how about ALL THOSE MISSING YEARS SPENT IN EGYPT? Throughout history, other seekers of the ancient mysteries and "those in the know" have done the same thing as Jesus?s disciples did in their synoptic gospels - saying one thing to the masses while concealing their true message in a coded shadow language meant only for other ?players? (such as the nocturnal initiation of the resurrection of Lazarus). Even the nazis attempted to do this, condemning all occult Fraternal Orders, secret societies, etc. so that they, alone, could gain and utilize the power of such secrets. Does anyone deny that the architects of the Third Reich were not members of an occult Fraternity not unlike those that they outlawed?

He that is wounded in the stones (testicles), or hath his privy member (penis) cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD. - Deuteronomy 23:1

And a nice example of a CONtradiction:
I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved. - Genesis 32:30
No man hath seen God at any time. - John 1:18
And I (god) will take away mine hand, and thou shalt see my back parts; but my face shall not be seen. - Exodus 33:23

And if that is too cryptic for you, how about this passage:

"To you has been given the secret of the Kingdom of God, but for those outside everything is in PARABLES; so that they may indeed see but not perceive, and may indeed hear but not understand; lest they should turn again, and be forgiven." - Jesus to Mark 4:10

Personally, I didn?t think the Toolband-Sucks website was worth the bother, but I am pleased to post Victor?s response (followed by my own footnotes and a brief commentary, with quotes taken from the Bible, many of which were published in The Heretic?s Guide to the Bible - The Worst of the Bible - over 100 passages reveal the Bible to be a contradiction-ridden exercise in hate, misogyny, domination & submission, and sadistic power fantasies):

Hello! I recently visited your intriguing web-site: www.toolband-sucks.com and I must say BRAVO for a site well constructed! Needless to say, however, as the lesser left hand of the Infernal Dark One, I must insist that your coverage of Crowley be a bit more thorough. Come on - - you can at LEAST try to elaborate on the man?s bad aspects! He was bisexual, a drug abuser, a Satanist, and SCOTTISH! Surely you don?t want to leave out that. The man was not only a sodomite, he wore SKIRTS! (Kilts, skirts - skirts, kilts -- it?s all semantics as far as I can tell.)

The sensationalism and hype that your site is generating is causing TOOL?s record sales to sky-rocket. (Well, they wouldn?t be so bloody high if the parents your site is designed to target weren?t busy DESTROYING all of their kids? TOOL albums! Every time a copy of UNDERTOW goes up in flames, Junior just decides to go buy himself another copy.* What does that mean for those associated with the band? MO? MONEY! )

So, again - - well done! But do turn up the vitriol, deary.

Consider yourself...

ILLUMINATED!

Pacem Vobiscum

Victor T. Cypert 33*

baphomet257@yahoo.com

Neophyte, Initiate, High Initiate, Adept, Knight of the Royal Secret, Prince of the Inner Temple, Commander of the Secret Order, Initiate of the Seventeen, Sublime Prince of the Dark Arts, Outer Custodian of the Baphomet, Inner Custodian of the Baphomet, Beholder of the Secret Flame, Grand Elect Mysophilote, Grand Conservator of the Mystery of Sirius, Perfect Initiate in the Tradition of the O.T.O., Invisible Agent of the Orient, Archon of the Order A.?. A.?., and Supreme Commander of the ?Order of Shig.?*

A couple of footnotes and a brief commentary by BMB:

* What these parents fail to realize is that there is a powerful subliminal message encoded in every record, CD, etc. that in the event that one is destroyed, the owner should immediately go buy another copy. Think I?m kidding? How many of you have bought (or obtained through other means) a new copy after your first one was scratched, stolen, lost, removed by a guardian, etc.? I thought so.

* Order of Shig. Shig is a very mysterious substance as anyone in the P.U.P. Lodge can readily attest. It may be similar in some ways to the thrilling vapor or mysterious gas called S?ngac (a violet gas that is an emanation of the Mauve Zone). It would be unwise to speak further of this substance at this time.

"If you take the cruel passages, the verses that inculcate eternal hatred, verses that writhe and hiss like serpents, you can make a creed that would shock the heart of a hyena. It may be that no book contains better passages than the New Testament, but certainly no book contains worse. Below the blossom of love you find the thorn of hatred; on lips that kiss, you find the poison of the cobra. The Bible is not a moral guide." - Robert Infersoll

The Toolband - Sucks website contains a warning to parents about the band, Tool:
"It is highly suggested that parents inspect their children?s? CD collection for "Tool" and review the CD so that they may consult with their child about the music and remove it from their collection..."
"If your child has Internet access, be aware that he or she may be able to obtain this music from various places in the Internet that allow downloading of music."
- Parents Against Violence

I might suggest that if they?re against violence so much, that they immediately burn any copy of the Bible that they can lay their hands on. Is there any book that contains more violence than the Bible? I mean that most glorious of unfulfilled prophecies known as THE END OF THE WORLD!

But the end of all things is at hand... -I Peter 4:7

Little children, it is the last time: and as ye have heard that antichrist shall come, even now are there many antichrists; whereby we know that it is the last time. - I John 2:18

Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones. -Psalms 137:9

HE THAT SPARETH HIS ROD HATETH HIS SON. - Proverbs 13:24

Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. - Proverbs 23:13-14

...and my personal favorite (let this be a warning to all you young Tool fans):

If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him... And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard. And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die. - Deuteronomy 21:18-21

"The mind that becomes soiled in youth can never again be washed clean. I know this by my own experience, and to this day I cherish an unappeasable bitterness against the unfaithful guardians of my young life, who not only permitted but compelled me to read an unexpurgated Bible through before I was fifteen years old. None can do that and ever draw a clean, sweet breath again this side of the grave." -Mark Twain

It?s also funny to read what they say about our mentioning of Aleister Crowley and magick, but I?ll let those interested check this out for themselves. First though, take a minute and study the following:

Apo pantos kakodaimonos

Good, you are now sufficiently hypnotized and will ignore their message about Tool?s use of mind control on their loyal fans who read the website.

BMB


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Offline3eyedgod
trippinkid

Registered: 11/24/02
Posts: 684
Loc: Far away and very near
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
Re: Toolfans: laugh or scream? [Re: Murex]
    #1328987 - 02/23/03 03:26 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

The fact that they don't even have the lyrics correct, is what pisses me off. The christian drivel is funny.


--------------------
Without everything wouldn't nothing be everything and without nothing wouldn't everything be nothing.I am the beginning and the end,the source and the void, the light and the darkness,i am but a small drop of the ocean yet i am an ocean unto myself


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