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OfflineCornholio
A liberal guy(on hiatus)

Registered: 01/13/03
Posts: 845
Loc: Austin, TX
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Cornholio]
    #1645874 - 06/19/03 06:51 PM (17 years, 25 days ago)

Since this thread is about political humor, I hope no one minds if I post a joke - I didn't want to start a whole new thread...


While driving to work one day, a politician gets into a tragic car accident and dies. Her soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. You see, we seldom see politicians here, so we're not certain if this is the right place for you. What we?d like you to do is to spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose for yourself where to spend eternity."

"I've already made up my mind? she replied. I want to go to Heaven!?

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." With that, St. Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and she finds herself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all her fellow politicians who had worked with her. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.

They run to greet her, hug her, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar.

Also present is the Devil, who turns out to be a very friendly guy who they enjoy hanging out with.

They are having such a good time that, before she realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives her a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for her.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before she realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."

She reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have guessed it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would prefer to stay in Hell."

So Saint Peter escorts her to the elevator and she goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and she is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. She sees all her friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags.

She says to the Devil, "I don't understand. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.?

The Devil looks at her, smiles and says, "What don't you understand? Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"


--------------------


Edited by Cornholio (06/19/03 09:15 PM)


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Offlinesomebodyelse
In_Is_Out

Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 296
Last seen: 16 years, 11 months
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Cornholio]
    #1645892 - 06/19/03 07:02 PM (17 years, 25 days ago)










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OfflineZahid
Stranger
Registered: 01/21/02
Posts: 4,779
Last seen: 15 years, 9 months
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Rono]
    #1646018 - 06/19/03 07:56 PM (17 years, 25 days ago)



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InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/08/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Cornholio]
    #1646081 - 06/19/03 08:15 PM (17 years, 25 days ago)

That was pretty good, though i think both parties would fit that description...


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


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OfflineCornholio
A liberal guy(on hiatus)

Registered: 01/13/03
Posts: 845
Loc: Austin, TX
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Innvertigo]
    #1646262 - 06/19/03 09:16 PM (17 years, 25 days ago)

Quote:

i think both parties would fit that description...


Fair enough - I took out the reference to Republicans.  :smirk: 


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InvisibleCracka_X
Spiritual Dirt Worshipper
Male User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/25/03
Posts: 8,799
Loc: Swamp
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Cornholio]
    #1646737 - 06/19/03 11:57 PM (17 years, 25 days ago)

Don't the liberals stand behind queers?


--------------------
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao        ~Daodejing


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OfflineCornholio
A liberal guy(on hiatus)

Registered: 01/13/03
Posts: 845
Loc: Austin, TX
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Cracka_X]
    #1647241 - 06/20/03 03:51 AM (17 years, 25 days ago)



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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,244
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1662232 - 06/25/03 05:30 PM (17 years, 19 days ago)


















--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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OfflinePaid
Pict
 User Gallery

Registered: 03/12/03
Posts: 5,376
Loc: Zone ate
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1692280 - 07/07/03 05:19 AM (17 years, 8 days ago)



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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,244
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1692996 - 07/07/03 12:13 PM (17 years, 7 days ago)








--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1693866 - 07/07/03 05:13 PM (17 years, 7 days ago)

Holy Shit! LDS taking a stab at Bush! I never thought I?d see the day! Just for that, I?ll take a stab at Gore:


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,244
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: silversoul7]
    #1693876 - 07/07/03 05:17 PM (17 years, 7 days ago)

Quote:

silversoul7 said:
Holy Shit! LDS taking a stab at Bush! I never thought I'd see the day!



Perhaps you should re-read several of my posts then. Or at least pay more attention to the ones in the future.

perhaps this will jog your memory.....
Nope, not God. Just a hell of a lot better than the last guy.

He can do wrong and for you to say I don't care is, to put it bluntly..... stupid.

I don't like the Patriot Act.

I don't like prescription drugs for seniors, or anyone for that matter.

I don't like the fact he's willing to renew the "assault weapons ban".

I don't like that he wanted to give amnesty to illegals.

I don't like that he wanted the "tax cut" to go to people who don't pay taxes.

There are others but that should be sufficent.

I don't think he makes the best president.

I do think he was the best of bad choices.

I think he's better than the 9 clowns running on the democratic ticket.

If it comes down to them or him, it will be Bush.

He's the better choice.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Rono]
    #1713159 - 07/14/03 12:16 AM (17 years, 1 day ago)

The difference between liberals and conservatives:


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,244
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1715005 - 07/14/03 04:19 PM (17 years, 15 hours ago)



--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,244
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1747055 - 07/25/03 03:32 AM (16 years, 11 months ago)



--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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InvisibleInnvertigo
Vote Libertarian!!
Male

Registered: 02/08/01
Posts: 16,296
Loc: Crackerville, Michigan U...
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1747147 - 07/25/03 04:58 AM (16 years, 11 months ago)

I thought the libbies were poor?


--------------------

America....FUCK YEAH!!!

Words of Wisdom: Individual Rights BEFORE Collective Rights

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants." -- Thomas Jefferson


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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,244
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Innvertigo]
    #1747200 - 07/25/03 05:58 AM (16 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Innvertigo said:
I thought the libbies were poor? 



:lol:

Actually no.

Since they make a habit of spending other peoples money, they have lots left to give to "the party of the people".

Although at the rate the current crew in Washington is going, we won't be able to say that much longer.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


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Invisiblesilversoul7
Chill the FuckOut!
 User Gallery

Registered: 10/10/02
Posts: 27,301
Loc: mndfreeze's puppet army
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #1747921 - 07/25/03 11:45 AM (16 years, 11 months ago)

I'd debate you on this subject if it was appropriate to the thread, but since it's not...


--------------------


"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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OfflineCornholio
A liberal guy(on hiatus)

Registered: 01/13/03
Posts: 845
Loc: Austin, TX
Last seen: 16 years, 7 months
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: silversoul7]
    #1749830 - 07/25/03 11:40 PM (16 years, 11 months ago)

Sorry if this has already been posted (it's from January 03). I just read it today for the first time and thought it was funny.





Edit: In the very unlikely case that someone doesn't get it, it's a parody about how Bush has said that Saddam may someday use weapons of mass destruction (which he may have) against the U.S.


--------------------


Edited by Cornholio (07/26/03 03:40 AM)


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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,244
Loc: Lost In Space
Re: Political Cartoons [Re: Cornholio]
    #1751168 - 07/26/03 05:11 PM (16 years, 11 months ago)

That's a good one.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers


Post Extras: Print Post  Remind Me! Notify Moderator
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