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tyler_0_durden
Stranger


Registered: 10/28/07
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Re: I feel like I have been scared of a negative entity living in my consciousness all my life [Re: NastyDHL]
#10562600 - 06/24/09 12:28 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
NastyDHL said: I feel like, all my life, I have been scared of an entity living in my consciousness. Let me explain, assuming I haven't already convinced you that I'm schizophrenic.
Whenever I'm thinking to myself, I always place my mood on the thoughts that come to my mind. As in, if my thoughts comply with my wants I am the happy end of the spectrum. By comply, I mean whether or not I think that my thoughts sound like someone who believes that their wants are going to be accomplished. My thoughts can sound like one who is hopeful, I can be convinced that I am going to succeed, I can even rationalize things to a small extent and still believe that I'm happy.
It's like I look so eagerly to judge things, that to such depths of consciousness whenever a thought crosses my mind, (however conscious this thought is, or however conscious I am of this thought) I subconsciously label it and then immediately shift my whole mood and state of mind/rationality depending on how good or bad I recognize this label to be, how much what has been labeled can benefit or hurt me.
I fear the bad thoughts. I just had some weird sort of realization, kind of deja vu'ish, and I've had a similar feeling before, when I woke up in the middle of a dream of me flying away from an unseen evil, and since I woke up during it I remembered it, and all of a sudden I remember or knew, that I had been having this same dream for the past few months.
Anyway, I just had this realization that I do fear these bad thoughts. I view them as a bad entity almost, or seem to think that a bad entity is sending them to me. Whenever I feel the negative presence of these thoughts, I feel like a scared animal, I have been merely intimidated into a anxiety-ridden submission.
My attachment to whether my thoughts are good or bad or not run my mind. Thoughts lead to similar future thoughts, whether they are good or bad, but one random interjecting negative thought can send me into a panic, a downward spiral of anxiety. It's tough to get out of this descent into total uncontrollable anxiety, and if I am worried and think "I need to be somewhere else, I need this anxiety to go away, I need to be 'happy'", then the anxiety tends to get worse quickly.
I am a slave to my thoughts.
I created the entity I became a slave to, as soon as I started seeing things as good or bad.
I have the same exact thing going on. I cannot win or get rid of it, either. It sucks.
-------------------- "As a man who has devoted his whole life to the most clear headed science, to the study of matter, I can tell you as a result of my research about atoms this much: There is no matter as such. All matter originates and exists only by virtue of a force which brings the particle of an atom to vibration and holds this most minute solar system of the atom together. We must assume behind this force the existence of a conscious and intelligent mind. This mind is the matrix of all matter." --Max Planck
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Spiralout112
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Registered: 05/21/09
Posts: 472
Loc: Calgary
Last seen: 10 years, 12 days
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Re: I feel like I have been scared of a negative entity living in my consciousness all my life [Re: Kickle]
#10562654 - 06/24/09 12:39 AM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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You need more disciprine. You must learn to silence your mind and shut down your schizo ego. That with the will power you will gain, and the absolute knowledge that you are above such basic and low level thoughts will bring you control and calmness, or towards your more natural state of being.
Anyways, I find the best way to break the cycle of negative thoughts is to concentrate on being in the present moment, or bringing about awareness of myself and my surroundings. Trying to step out of your head trip so to speak.
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AlphaFalfa
imagine


Registered: 06/16/08
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Loc: 3 Seconds Ago.
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Re: I feel like I have been scared of a negative entity living in my consciousness all my life [Re: Spiralout112]
#10564456 - 06/24/09 12:04 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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What the fuck happen to this thread, it got so bloddy interesting. Dammit! Then it just caps so quickly.
-------------------- if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...
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2Cents



Registered: 12/04/08
Posts: 4,392
Loc: PNW
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Re: I feel like I have been scared of a negative entity living in my consciousness all my life [Re: AlphaFalfa]
#10564646 - 06/24/09 12:44 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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that kid is a psycho....
-------------------- Long live the Shroomery!!!
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Ahimsa
µdose



Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 1,827
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Re: I feel like I have been scared of a negative entity living in my consciousness all my life [Re: NastyDHL]
#10564860 - 06/24/09 01:23 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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All thoughts come and go. So the memories to our thoughts linger on. I like to "think backwards". Let me explain... when you arrive to some thought that makes you feel unhappy, try to reflect:"...what thought preceded that one... and before that... and before that...", and so one. Eventually you come to a point where you can't remember what was before. Maybe this may help you to see the thought-process more clearly and at the same time helps you to distance 'yourself' from 'it'! I hope. Good luck friend.
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Hrunting
Geekologist

Registered: 05/28/09
Posts: 125
Loc: Mid West Side
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Re: I feel like I have been scared of a negative entity living in my consciousness all my life [Re: Ahimsa]
#10565012 - 06/24/09 01:49 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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theres a game you can play that isnt mystical at all but it can do a lot re unwanted negative thoughts
you need to play this game with someone else
set a time limit. 1 minute is good for starters
your partner will ask you a question, the same question over and over.
you will answer each time without hesitation, but you may not repeat yourself.
the question is "WHO ARE YOU"
if the game is played well and with trust, you will be amazed at what you find yourself saying.
i suggest that you find a pal and in a relaxed but not drugged state, start to play the game.
you can take turns being the asker, and dont be ashamed of anything that you say.
youre allowed to cry when you play this game, so bear that in mind when you select a partner.
i guarantee that you will have less trouble with "endless tape loops" running around in your psyche.
a lot of negative shit is simply begging to be acknowledged by the consious mind so it can simply be deleted.
ie... youre 6 yrs old and you hear your moms new boyfriend call you an evil little shit...
your playing the game and your pal says "Who Are You?" for the 14th time and you hear yourself screaming "IM AN EVIL LITTLE SHIT!"
and its 20 years later and you didnt even know you were still carrying that.
smile on
-------------------- yall be good to each other
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NastyDHL



Registered: 04/04/08
Posts: 3,586
Loc: New England
Last seen: 1 year, 30 days
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Re: I feel like I have been scared of a negative entity living in my consciousness all my life [Re: AlphaFalfa]
#10565272 - 06/24/09 02:45 PM (14 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
AlphaFalfa said: I believe a part of our problem is that we have a sub-concious idea about 'god'. When I get a whole slew of negative thoughts or a deep desire to not have a perception about something, I attempt to project with intensity that god was never necessary for us o experience what we see before us.
I agree, I think that may be part of the problem; our whole concept of God. Instead of just accepting and letting things pass, we wish and pray and desire for something to be gone. The fact that this wishing and praying and desiring has no effect causes more suffering. We have been taught that there is a power higher than us that has the ability to interject in our lives, which really can make us feel much more helpless. The whole Good and Evil thing, it's been so plugged into our minds that we judge things as Good or Evil to such a deep subconscious level, and when we label something as Good or Evil our whole perception changes; how happy we are, how successful we are, how loved we are. When in reality, nothing has changed, it's just a neurotic thought and our attachment to good and evil has shifted us to a more selfish, scared, and irrational state of being.
Quote:
AlphaFalfa said: A second part of our problem is the collective conciousness. There is a lot of mental energy that the majority of humans manifest which is a direct outcome of this problem. A problem that is hidden to the average leech. We are animals at some level and follow pack mentality...Catch that drift, its easy!
I agree that this too is a good theory. Unfortunately, collective consciousness is not something that can be really measured or tested. But yes, people tend to be very negative, judgmental, and selfish, and if there really is a collective consciousness/unconsciousness, then I would definitely imagine it to be extremely tainted by the majority of people who manifest negativity.
I hate the fact that the pack mentality is so intrusive, it seems to be such an underlying pressure that molds so many of our thoughts. It's something I have been working on alot recently.
It seems the easiest way to not worry, to not fear, is to harbor love. To have more concern and care for others than yourself.
Quote:
AlphaFalfa said: The third part of this puzzle is the way we have been taught to utilize the mind. We are still getting used to the idea that we can control our emotions. BUT more importantly, thought and any thought we hear in our mind, are reflections of ourselves....right? This is not the case, right and wrong, this shit is useless. If you want to change yourself, your thoughts, you have to change the focus on your thoughts, not by negating or 'saying NO!' to them, but by giving something else existence. So two things here, recognizing that we are not our thoughts and that we can change our emotions, is a difficult process that is made more difficult by the first two parts of our problem AND that we cannot negate our focus of the thoughts we do not believe in, rather, we must simply give existence to another thought. This is why one of the posters has alot of success with repeating "ILOVEYOU" over and over and why he would find difficulty negating it, or saying NO!
The thought thing on our neck, is much like a computer, you cannot scream NO to it when it runs the wrong program. Like this passionate yet mentally wasteful thing.
Another good point. Wishing for a thought to not exist is counter-productive. We must give existence to another thought, and realize that we can control our emotions by giving existence to different thoughts, we can gradually phase out negativity.
"One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two "wolves" inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?" The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed." "
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Eternity
Stranger
Registered: 12/26/09
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Re: I feel like I have been scared of a negative entity living in my consciousness all my life [Re: NastyDHL]
#13127059 - 08/31/10 12:08 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Whenever you try NOT to think of something it primes your unconscious to look for those negative thoughts and stop them before they reach your conscious mind. If however you are distracted at all, by say...anxiety or anything really, it actually makes these thoughts more likely as those neurons you are trying to prevent firing are actually made more sensitive. It's the old don't think about an elephant, now whatever you do don't put that elephant in a pink tutu. What are you now thinking? Instead pick a new try to Do or Think things rather than Not doing or Not thinking things. Hope that helps.
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