Why hello there dear followers of shroomery! My first post so hello.
I don't know where to start this but let's give it a try.
Does anybody know if there's a on-off-button in brain? It seems that everything that I loved in my mind and made me who I am has gone far away. Seriously, everything. For example I used to be a very creative individual being charismatic, having strong opinions and a reputation of an ideal journalist/writer/etc.. My verbal skills were something astral, my perception worked great and I was considered as a bright man.
Now I must remark that I live in Finland and people tend to get Seasonal Affective Disorder quite easily here. So year ago darkness started to accumulate over Finland for the autumn was comin'. Knowin' the past I started to prepare myself for the winter (depression, madness) by meditating. I knew I would loose my mind, again, for the winter because I suffer from SA-disorder during winters but I was optimistic 'cause I believed I would get everything back as soon as the spring/summer comes. Well turned out I was wrong. Now I have struggled with my blank as an A4-paper mind for months! God damn months! I'm no longer able to produce any kind of creative texts, music, art or anything, and it's killing me! I still hang on my reputation which was formed by earlier me and my friends have started to notice that something's different in me. And I have no idea what it is.
Nowadays I'm scared all the time. It feels like I can't feel any other emotions anymore. I can't speak like I did a year ago and I just stress about people's reactions to what I say. I feel lazy and uncomfortable in social situations which is pretty odd for I used to be a very social person. Now I just don't give a fuck. I do feel anxiety quite often but I wouldn't say I'm particularly depressed. Just so... blank. Self-confidence. These days I don't even know what that means.
I do use quite alot alcohol but I've now decreased significantly so that shouldn't be a problem anymore. So now I only have one idea left. I'm a rookie shroomer. Tried twice. After the first time I was happier than ever and my creativity worked better than ever. Second time wasn't so happy, but really taught me a lesson about myself. Now I don't know if it's a good idea, but what do you think, could eatin' shrooms trigger my head to work again, or would it just make this situation even worse?
This is a stupid message, but your reply is worth gold to me. And sorry for it's so scattered.
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It seems like you have some inner issues that have come to the surface and are demanding to be dealt with. That feeling of emptiness could be caused by suppressing a lot of your emotions and thus disconnecting you from yourself. Taking mushrooms can help you to work through it, but are you truly willing to face what they might bring up?
-------------------- It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure. ~Joseph Campbell
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yea dude, you'll tear open the gates of hell and unleash demons you didnt know you had, but if you're ready for them sir more power to you, coming back feeling better about your life and opening your creative genius again are just the perks of the trip... you might want to dose higher to find your mind's eye though.. you'd have to ask someone that..
-------------------- Synocybin's Penis Envy Grow Log! OUTDOOR SPENT TRAY GROW PICS!! X7X Grow Log Luigi on Shrooms said: Its been 4weeks since i cased what is going on? i used human manure(mine) vermiculite and coco coir
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