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Anonymous #1

Contemplating if life is worth continuing.
    #13094109 - 08/24/10 04:55 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I would have never thought I would ever make it to a point where I would considering outing myself to get away from everything, but honestly I am not sure if life is even worth it.

My days are redundant, and repetitive. Nothing changes.

I am constantly arguing with my GF (who I am doing the long distance thing with during college). Like, she will talk about her guy friends and for some reason it literally sickens me and I will get jealous and angry, and I will say something stupid to cause an argument. I'm afraid I am going to lose her.

I am unemployed, and can't find any sort of job, which adds to my feelings of worthlessness even further.

Stopped going to college because I am not motivated to do anything anymore. I literally will sit at home by myself all day everyday, and argue with my GF over my stupid bullshit.

I have lost all my friends because I have refused to speak to any of them in my fit of depression, and I find it hard to even want to wake up at all. I will literally sleep 70 percent of my day away to get away from reality.

I do have anxiety problems and I dislike going out and meeting new people, or being in public in general, because I have extremely low self value and don't want to bother wasting time talking to people when there is a huge possibility that they will laugh in my face.

IDK, currently it is 7 am and I have been up all night, debating with myself if it is worth making the effort to wake up everyday anymore, and the thought of losing my GF is a huge part of that.

I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone, so if I lose her I'll just be alone the rest of my life anyway, so why not just end it?

Sorry for the wall of text, I just really need to talk about some of this shit and figure out wtf to do.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13094113 - 08/24/10 05:02 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Killing yourself over a woman just isn't worth it. Don't do it. And go seek help. There's no shame in that.


Edited by Le_Canard (08/24/10 05:08 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #13094118 - 08/24/10 05:09 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

It isn't just over her, I feel like I have nothing going for me in life, nor that I ever will. She is just a part of the puzzle.


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InvisibleI R Crankey
bang bang choo choo
Male


Registered: 01/03/10
Posts: 2,005
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13094120 - 08/24/10 05:13 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

life suks. always will. but there's plenty good and always a brighter day.

this is the first suicide thread ive seen in a while so that's good.

anyway like td said dont waste your life over some stupid girl. you can do anything you want, and if you hate your current life you can always change it. suicide is permanent, so what if you dont like what happens next? no going back.

whereas if you stayed for another day or week or year you'll be surprised how quickly life changes. especially when you're the one taking control of it.

you're the only one that can change your life. might as well make it for the better.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
Loc: Earthfarm 1 Flag
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13094125 - 08/24/10 05:15 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Well she sounds like a major piece of the puzzle to me. But you have a lot going for you. You're young and still in college. Maybe you can withdraw from this semester and get some help in the interim. I would thoroughly recommend it. It sounds like you need it. And not being able to get a job isn't a measure of your worth  - in this sorry economy, there's lots of folks who can't get one. In any case, sitting around and contemplating things is certainly not going to help. It's only going to make things worse.


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Offlineorison
mcfluffysugarnuts


Registered: 01/19/09
Posts: 5,468
Last seen: 23 days, 13 hours
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #13094143 - 08/24/10 05:39 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Women are like broken glass. They are everywhere..

if not.,Id get over my breakup with hookers..:laugh:


--------------------


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Anonymous #2

Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13094361 - 08/24/10 07:48 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

don't let a girl have that much control on your life


Edited by Anonymous (08/24/10 07:49 AM)


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Offlinelines
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Registered: 08/06/08
Posts: 1,409
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Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #13096682 - 08/24/10 05:26 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Life is worth living, if you want to chat about it feel free to send me a message


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OfflineMr Chang
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Registered: 07/05/10
Posts: 20
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: lines]
    #13096955 - 08/24/10 06:36 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I’m not a psychiatrists but have some experience with mental issues, and my own phobia (shit don’t have to be rational to be real).  It's doesn't have to make sense however your thought are real in your head.  Seek professional mental help.  There is NO shame in it.  Many people have seek out help and now lead a "normal" life.

The girl, please, please do not put so much stock in that.  She is gone.  At your age, you should both go thru many other relationships before you find a true mate.

School, you should really reconsider asap, especially if you have the financial means, which I assume you do since you can afford to sleep 70% of the day away.

I've known someone very personal (immediate family) that went to the brink with suicide over money and providing for family, only thing that saved them was the gun automatically put safety on when a shell was chambered.  They told me they wished so bad they hadn't done it as soon as they applied pressure to the trigger.  Didn't go off due to the safety.  Since, they have got to enjoy many joys in life such as children graduating and buying a home, vacations, grandchildren, paying off home, new hobbies, friends.  Things will get better.

The girl is the least of your worries in life.  May feel otherwise but believe me, there are things so much bigger and better.

Don’t hesitate to seek professional help.


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Offlinelasttime
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Registered: 05/01/09
Posts: 526
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Mr Chang]
    #13097386 - 08/24/10 08:15 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Don't kill yourself. Instead, decide that you don't care whether you're alive or dead. That is the biggest fear we animals have, so once you get over that (truly over that) you can't be plagued by anxiety. Then you can live the rest of your life not giving a fuck. and, ironically, it won't be bad anymore


Edited by lasttime (08/24/10 08:16 PM)


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OfflineMr Chang
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Registered: 07/05/10
Posts: 20
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: lasttime]
    #13097541 - 08/24/10 08:52 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

with everything I mentioned above still holding true, if you decide to got thru with it, please make sure you are a registered donor on your drivers license, and do it in a way that damages the least amount of organs (for me would be a bullet to the side of the head).  Call 911 with the message that someone is dead at given address, do it just as they show up so others that want to live can have a chance via your organs. 

I hope to make your acquaintance one day on a cruise ship or far away land without knowing who each other are but give others a chance if you decide otherwise.


Edited by Mr Chang (08/24/10 08:53 PM)


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Offlinelil_demented
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Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Mr Chang]
    #13097618 - 08/24/10 09:14 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Mr Chang said:
with everything I mentioned above still holding true, if you decide to got thru with it, please make sure you are a registered donor on your drivers license, and do it in a way that damages the least amount of organs (for me would be a bullet to the side of the head).  Call 911 with the message that someone is dead at given address, do it just as they show up so others that want to live can have a chance via your organs. 

I hope to make your acquaintance one day on a cruise ship or far away land without knowing who each other are but give others a chance if you decide otherwise.




wow, just wow.



And OP, Don't feel down about the job hunting. I've been at it for 2 months. Its depressing as hell looking for a job. The rejection is the worst. Being broke sucks ass too, but I hate the rejection.

I honestly think trying to find a job is way harder than actually working. So when you find that job your looking for, it will be smooth sailing from there on.


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Anonymous #3

Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13101409 - 08/25/10 05:17 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

At least rob a bank or something.  Don't just off yourself wastefully.  Try to rob a bank and if it goes bad then kill yourself.

There are plenty of other crimes to commit before commiting suicide.

I feel like a P.O.S. sometimes too, but instead of suicide, I'll just go do something that'll keep me laughing.

Nobody cares about anyone except for themselves, so get used to it.

Your loneliest will befriend you.  Make enimies with it and hate your life.


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Anonymous #4

Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13101672 - 08/25/10 06:21 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

If it makes you feel any better, i'm in a similar situation more or less. I do nothing all day, usually play video games for hours on end, occasionally go out and drink, maybe sit at the pool. I go to sleep when the sun comes up,  wake up a couple hours before sunset.

No girlfriend, and in my state of complete inertia I dont see me finding one any time soon. Speaking of inertia I am unemployed and dont even have the drive to get out and seriously look (have money saved up).

I used drugs for motivation (got me through school and a part time for a few months after I graduated) but I decided to clean up. No more drug problem but no drive now either. One step forward, one step back. Did I mention inertia has been the theme of my life recently?


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OfflineSalviNate
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Registered: 01/18/09
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Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #13101961 - 08/25/10 07:15 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Live..Don't live, whatever
:costanza:


Edit:
seriously there are way too many people on earth to give a fuck anymore.


--------------------


Edited by SalviNate (08/25/10 07:19 PM)


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OfflineBluePixieWaves
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Registered: 12/19/09
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Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: SalviNate]
    #13101999 - 08/25/10 07:23 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

It always could be worse.:tongue:


--------------------


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Offlinecircastes
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Registered: 01/14/10
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Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: BluePixieWaves]
    #13106404 - 08/26/10 05:34 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Man you North Americans are brutal. It must be a really crappy social climate up there.

My advice? Well, don't overrate life. Making a cup of tea in the morning is joyous. Going outside and seeing the day is joyous. Jokes are joyous. It's not a struggle to find meaning or to survive, there's plenty of meaning and there's plenty of survival, it's a struggle to find how to enjoy life. That's a struggle, because we have so may illusions in life. We get wrapped up in our egos. We think it's hard to go on, when it fact we probably just think everyone else is better and we're jealous that we can't keep up. We're butthurt. But we're wrong. Get over your ego, realise death is no escape because you don't even know if it ends with death. It's just popular to think so. The best advice is GO OUTSIDE! 1. Sun exposure reduces depression, 2. Nature is your friend, and 3. Interaction with others will remind you how to enjoy life, which is the struggle.

Hope that helped.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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OfflineCherry2
Stranger
Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 9
Last seen: 13 years, 2 months
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13108183 - 08/27/10 01:11 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Please do not kill yourself. Every single problem you listed can be changed, if you want to change it. Right now you are overwhelmed. It is very likely that feeling will pass.

This may seem ironic (for this board) and cheesy, but I am posting a portion of the serenity prayer. I'm not religious, but these words help calm me down when life starts to feel out of control:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time.


Anyway, you need someone to talk to (besides your girlfriend). Therapist, friend, or stranger from a message board...doesn't matter. It helps.


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Anonymous #5

Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13109981 - 08/27/10 01:20 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I would have never thought I would ever make it to a point where I would considering outing myself to get away from everything, but honestly I am not sure if life is even worth it.

My days are redundant, and repetitive. Nothing changes.

I am constantly arguing with my GF (who I am doing the long distance thing with during college). Like, she will talk about her guy friends and for some reason it literally sickens me and I will get jealous and angry, and I will say something stupid to cause an argument. I'm afraid I am going to lose her.

I am unemployed, and can't find any sort of job, which adds to my feelings of worthlessness even further.

Stopped going to college because I am not motivated to do anything anymore. I literally will sit at home by myself all day everyday, and argue with my GF over my stupid bullshit.

I have lost all my friends because I have refused to speak to any of them in my fit of depression, and I find it hard to even want to wake up at all. I will literally sleep 70 percent of my day away to get away from reality.

I do have anxiety problems and I dislike going out and meeting new people, or being in public in general, because I have extremely low self value and don't want to bother wasting time talking to people when there is a huge possibility that they will laugh in my face.

IDK, currently it is 7 am and I have been up all night, debating with myself if it is worth making the effort to wake up everyday anymore, and the thought of losing my GF is a huge part of that.

I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone, so if I lose her I'll just be alone the rest of my life anyway, so why not just end it?

Sorry for the wall of text, I just really need to talk about some of this shit and figure out wtf to do.




Oh boy I have felt countless times like this.

This is definately not about your gf. Its about you being stuck.

But have you thought about what you should seek? Have you actually looked for any work?

Get any kind of job, if she is not happy, ditch her since she doesn't seem to be much use and I doubt this relationship is going to last. Then work your ass off, starve, collect money and go to some place you have never been and actually live there, off from the land.


Edited by Anonymous (08/27/10 01:27 PM)


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Anonymous #3

Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13110599 - 08/27/10 03:32 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Also, if you kill yourself, your greedy ass siblings will get all of the inheritance money.  At least wait until your folks die, bloe the inheritance money, then try to rob a bank and if it fails, then kill yourself.

I'm certain that my siblings want me dead so they can take my share.  I come from a messed up family.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #13112873 - 08/28/10 03:51 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

OP here, just wanted to thank everyone for the encouragement and advice.

I started going out and stuff again and things have gotten better, still no job.

Does anyone have advice on what could help me with the jealousy thing I talked about in the original post?


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OfflineDAREtoTHINK
Wanderer
Registered: 04/09/10
Posts: 84
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13113089 - 08/28/10 06:44 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

sounds like this girl is causing more problems than solving them. please put a lot of thought into what you really want and can get out of life. if i were you i would drop this girl. i didn't read one positive thing about you being with her in your first post.


--------------------
"you live day by day?"
"no, i live second by second"
-serj tankian


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Anonymous #3

Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #13115330 - 08/28/10 05:13 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Does anyone have advice on what could help me with the jealousy thing I talked about in the original post?




Cheat on her.

I once had a girlfriend that played the same games.  I cheated on her and it solved the problem.

Quit believing that you'll be with her forever and remember that she will adventually become a small peice of the past.


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InvisibleP-O
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Registered: 05/13/09
Posts: 13,636
Loc: Flag
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #13115382 - 08/28/10 05:29 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

ya leave her behind.


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InvisibleRaw
Muslim
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Registered: 03/23/10
Posts: 1,419
Loc: USA West Coast Flag
Re: Contemplating if life is worth continuing. [Re: Le_Canard]
    #13116643 - 08/28/10 09:29 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I'm not Suicidal Today!!!!  Today was a bright spot for me!  Hang in there.  I was super suicidal in March.  I had some pretty bad lady issues and I felt like you feel for about three years.  Today was my first good day in about 5 years.

Put your foot down with your lady friend.  Let her know how you feel.  She will respond either positively or negatively.  That is life.  You need to focus on you.  No one else will.


Quote:

Anonymous said:
I would have never thought I would ever make it to a point where I would considering outing myself to get away from everything, but honestly I am not sure if life is even worth it.

My days are redundant, and repetitive. Nothing changes.

I am constantly arguing with my GF (who I am doing the long distance thing with during college). Like, she will talk about her guy friends and for some reason it literally sickens me and I will get jealous and angry, and I will say something stupid to cause an argument. I'm afraid I am going to lose her.

I am unemployed, and can't find any sort of job, which adds to my feelings of worthlessness even further.

Stopped going to college because I am not motivated to do anything anymore. I literally will sit at home by myself all day everyday, and argue with my GF over my stupid bullshit.

I have lost all my friends because I have refused to speak to any of them in my fit of depression, and I find it hard to even want to wake up at all. I will literally sleep 70 percent of my day away to get away from reality.

I do have anxiety problems and I dislike going out and meeting new people, or being in public in general, because I have extremely low self value and don't want to bother wasting time talking to people when there is a huge possibility that they will laugh in my face.

IDK, currently it is 7 am and I have been up all night, debating with myself if it is worth making the effort to wake up everyday anymore, and the thought of losing my GF is a huge part of that.

I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone, so if I lose her I'll just be alone the rest of my life anyway, so why not just end it?

Sorry for the wall of text, I just really need to talk about some of this shit and figure out wtf to do.




--

WTF?  Is TDuk talking sense???
Quote:

ToiletDuk said:
Killing yourself over a woman just isn't worth it. Don't do it. And go seek help. There's no shame in that.




--------------------


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