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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
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Why I don't have friends
#12987484 - 08/01/10 09:24 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I am really intelligent. I have high standards for myself and I usually live up to them. I have a great deal of self control. I have the same high standards for other people and keep finding myself disappointed. I think these high standards are morally upright. I think lowering my standards would be irresponsible and wrong.
That sounds kind of sociopathic, but I am really a very empathic person. I'm just smarter and better at taking care of myself than most people and am kind of a misanthrope.
And really, I am freakishly intelligent. When you add in all the psychedelics I've taken... I just feel like I usually "get it" and most other people seem kind of clueless. I want to find a friend who can engage me mentally... and I don't just mean outperform me in academia or superfluous philosophical debate... It's just that I am more intelligent than 99% of people. I would join MENSA but it is just a bunch of bullshit. Most people think I'm arrogant and call me an asshole because they realize they don't live up to the standards I have for myself and others and it is easier to dismiss me as a mean person than to improve themselves. I tried making myself stupid with overdoses of drugs but it never worked.
I have decided to be alone. I'm OK with that. I feel better that way. Good thing I have an INTP personality type or that would be a problem.
Does anybody identify with this?
Edited by elfamale (08/01/10 09:29 PM)
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Parkseerf



Registered: 01/31/10
Posts: 1,611
Loc: Louisiana
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12987558 - 08/01/10 09:36 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Just stop judging things so much. Accept everyone and everything just as it is, that doesn't mean be friends with people you don't like hanging around, but if you would stop judging people so much you might see that people who "don't get it"(assuming there is anything to get) have a lot to bring to the table also, even if you have completely different views than them.
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LittleDipster



Registered: 06/18/10
Posts: 4,141
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12987572 - 08/01/10 09:38 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Parkseerf]
#12987600 - 08/01/10 09:42 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your unsolicited advice in response to what was clearly an inquiry rather than a request for help clearly demonstrates that you do not identify with this.
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Le_Canard
The Duk Abides


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] 1
#12987624 - 08/01/10 09:46 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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You know, there's an old axiom: to make a friend you have to be one. Get off your high horse and maybe lower your standards a bit.
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bluecurry
Dragons don't



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] 1
#12987636 - 08/01/10 09:48 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I identify, INTJ, however I'm less misanthropic and more of the school of thought that my peers simply haven't reached a point where they could be on my level.
It's like looking back on ones younger self, and realizing that back then you could hardly comprehend the present. I feel this same way about the majority of people. The sad thing is, many of those people will stay in a naive state for most if not all of their lifespan.
I believe that one day I'll at least have a wider selection of peers from a similar demographic than what is available to me now. I'm already rare in the sense that I know I'll use drugs the rest of my life, and many people stop after their 20-30's, then again some people don't even discover these things until then!
I would say that it's just a hassle trying to find people of a similar background who don't happen to also be batshit insane.
edit: Why lower your standards? The statistical chance of being disappointed outweigh the cost of investment involved in lowering your standards for a friendship.
Edited by bluecurry (08/01/10 09:50 PM)
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12987638 - 08/01/10 09:48 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
ToiletDuk said: You know, there's an old axiom: to make a friend you have to be one. Get off your high horse and maybe lower your standards a bit.
Quote:
elfamale said: I think lowering my standards would be irresponsible and wrong. ... Does anybody identify with this?
Edited by elfamale (08/01/10 09:53 PM)
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: bluecurry] 3
#12987661 - 08/01/10 09:51 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
bluecurry said:
It's like looking back on ones younger self, and realizing that back then you could hardly comprehend the present. I feel this same way about the majority of people. The sad thing is, many of those people will stay in a naive state for most if not all of their lifespan. ... I would say that it's just a hassle trying to find people of a similar background who don't happen to also be batshit insane.
Well said, sir. Going insane does wonders for personal development...if you make it back...
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bluecurry
Dragons don't



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12987714 - 08/01/10 09:59 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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What kind of friend are you looking for?
I mean if you are satisfied without face-to-face interaction, then why not look for the best of the best available options?
If you must have a facial friendship ( ), you might need to move to an area with the right demographic and do some investigating there.
"Wars are won with boots on the ground" or "Shock and awe" or something.
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claraclairvoyant
well oiled machine



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] 3
#12987785 - 08/01/10 10:09 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I feel where you're coming from, but you really are coming off a bit arrogant. Don't call yourself "freakishly intelligent" man.
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: bluecurry]
#12987793 - 08/01/10 10:10 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well I had one good friend. We got along well for a while and made each other stronger, I guess. Then he screwed up and tried to take a bunch of money from me so I had him work off his debt and I fucked his sister.
Edit: I guess those two things really aren't related... we were in love.
Edited by elfamale (08/01/10 10:27 PM)
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
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Quote:
I feel where you're coming from, but you really are coming off a bit arrogant. Don't call yourself "freakishly intelligent" man.
That's just the way it is. When I took an IQ test when they were giving me a bunch of tests to figure out why I am weird I was in the 99th percentile overall and I maxed out the verbal portion of the test. I'm just saying how I'm weird. Like if a girl had DDD breasts or some other really exaggerated trait.
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bluecurry
Dragons don't



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12987876 - 08/01/10 10:23 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
elfamale said: Well I had one good friend. We got along well for a while and made each other stronger, I guess. Then he screwed up and tried to take a bunch of money from me so I had him work off his debt and I fucked his sister.
So... where does morality come into play with this? You sound less intelligent than you seem to believe yourself to be.
Quote:
elfamale said: That's just the way it is. When I took an IQ test...
Who administered the IQ test, what were the perimeters?
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: bluecurry]
#12987932 - 08/01/10 10:29 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
bluecurry said:
Quote:
elfamale said: Well I had one good friend. We got along well for a while and made each other stronger, I guess. Then he screwed up and tried to take a bunch of money from me so I had him work off his debt and I fucked his sister.
So... where does morality come into play with this? You sound less intelligent than you seem to believe yourself to be.
Quote:
elfamale said: That's just the way it is. When I took an IQ test...
Who administered the IQ test, what were the perimeters?
See edited post - I didn't fuck his sister because he owed me money... I just have trouble determining the significance of ideas that pop into my head sometimes, haha...
edit: what I was getting at is if our friendship wasn't over after the money BS, it certainly was after his sister and I got together....
And I took two IQ tests, with almost the same results on each. Each administered by a licensed psychologist.
Edited by elfamale (08/01/10 10:30 PM)
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Xpatriot
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] 1
#12988292 - 08/01/10 11:35 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I once found myself in a similair situation as yourself. There was a time when I did have friends, lets say before highschool. Upon entering highschool it became abundantly clear to me and others around me that I was intelligent, and as you exclaim not the normal get straight As type. The what the fuck is this person talking about, you intimidate me type. And that was the problem. Your intelligence does not alienate you, what does is the fact that you know you are intelligent, at least that's what the case was for me. You dont have to be as you are, your high self discipline is just mental masturbation, it doesn't make you better than others. I have no real advice to give except realize how plastic your perception of the world can be, and that if you truly want to change your negative pretentious attitude...it can be done. How can it be done? Thats something only you can figure out, by means of intensive introspection of course. Thats what it took for me, years of thought and conscious effort. Your brain is intelligent but socially your dumb, if your as smart as you claim, you will be able to manipulate yourself enough to fit in. This self manipulation and forced change comes at the cost of losing your current identity, things like your high moral standards. Decide which is more important and start your inner work. Its possible, Ive dont it.
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Cherk
Fashionable



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] 2
#12988596 - 08/02/10 12:47 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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...
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I have considered such matters. SIKE
Edited by WhiskeyClone (08/21/10 02:19 PM)
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Tesla
VP of Wilfred Brimley Fanclub


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12989041 - 08/02/10 03:14 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
elfamale said: I am really intelligent. I have high standards for myself and I usually live up to them. I have a great deal of self control. I have the same high standards for other people and keep finding myself disappointed. I think these high standards are morally upright. I think lowering my standards would be irresponsible and wrong.
That sounds kind of sociopathic, but I am really a very empathic person. I'm just smarter and better at taking care of myself than most people and am kind of a misanthrope.
And really, I am freakishly intelligent. When you add in all the psychedelics I've taken... I just feel like I usually "get it" and most other people seem kind of clueless. I want to find a friend who can engage me mentally... and I don't just mean outperform me in academia or superfluous philosophical debate... It's just that I am more intelligent than 99% of people. I would join MENSA but it is just a bunch of bullshit. Most people think I'm arrogant and call me an asshole because they realize they don't live up to the standards I have for myself and others and it is easier to dismiss me as a mean person than to improve themselves. I tried making myself stupid with overdoses of drugs but it never worked.
I have decided to be alone. I'm OK with that. I feel better that way. Good thing I have an INTP personality type or that would be a problem.
Does anybody identify with this?
I can empathize on some basic levels. However I think we fundamentally disagree on the fact that it's irresponsible to lower your standards.
It seems like they are unrealistically high and in many cases this thread itself is a manifestation of you admitting that on some level it seems.
If you are finding yourself in a position where you cannot function socially due to your perceptions than although they may be good for self preservation and retaining a prideful tone to your life it sounds like in itself your searching for an answer not an assertation as to how you can move on to being socially healthy while retaining your high standards.
The first thing to consider is that they may be unrealistic. If you are that bright its upon you to find the intelligence and more importantly the heart to appreciate others for their unique gifts and capabilities. Your excessive judgments on others are robbing you of companionship.
Furthermore the fact that you associate befriending those of lower intelligence levels as an irresponsible choice while completely overlooking the unique things they have to offer outside of traditional academic acuity is in itself telling me one of two things. Your either suffering from an unhealthy level of narcissism or you feel like letting those people in would lower your worth or hurt you in some way.
My advice is if your really as intelligent as you claim to be start appreciating life for what it is and people for what they are. If you can't do that than although you may test high and be a genius your obviously lacking the common sense or empathy to live a full and healthy life. And that in itself is purveying your own eccentricities something that's far more self deprivating than lowering your standards.
Edited by Tesla (08/02/10 03:15 AM)
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RolledOats


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Tesla]
#12989833 - 08/02/10 09:53 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Regardless of your personality type, it's important to have friends. Studies have shown that the negative health effects of social isolation are comparable to those of cigarette smoking. It's definitely worth it for your own "perfection" to have friends or at least be socially active in some way (regardless of your personality type).
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Parkseerf



Registered: 01/31/10
Posts: 1,611
Loc: Louisiana
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12990111 - 08/02/10 11:22 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
elfamale said: Your unsolicited advice in response to what was clearly an inquiry rather than a request for help clearly demonstrates that you do not identify with this.
Well i can identify with this, im completely introvert myself. I really only have one good friend with whom i can discuss things such as spirituality, relationships, "God", ect, and be comfortable with. I have a few other friends who i play music, hang out, ect, with. They are both valuable, in their own ways, our views are very different, i might be more academically inclined than them but they are helpful in their own ways. The fact that you posted here implies that your looking for some sort of input so .
In all honesty you don't sound like a very pleasant person to be around so maybe that's it, but then again this is the internet.
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65535


Registered: 01/10/10
Posts: 101
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12990366 - 08/02/10 12:24 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Tone down the "Fuck you/you're a retard" stuff please, guys
Edited by WhiskeyClone (08/21/10 02:22 PM)
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beneath
One Way Street


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Cherk] 1
#12990479 - 08/02/10 12:47 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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...
Edited by WhiskeyClone (08/21/10 02:22 PM)
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Pingasa
Stranger
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: beneath]
#12990885 - 08/02/10 01:56 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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IQ tests are pretty much worthless as far as determining ones true worth, yet you seem to use this as a reason to see yourself as worth more than everyone else. This is quite arrogant and by doing this you distance yourself from everyone else. Your perception is that you are above everyone in every way when in reality you are probably only better than them in the few things that are tested in IQ tests. Not everyone can get high scores on IQ tests but just about everyone has redeeming qualities that more than make up for it. You may be smart in one way but you have much to learn in others. If i were you i would forget about how smart you think you are and try to be humble and maybe then you will be able to see that everyone has something to teach you.
Also I would give up trying to find others like you and seek people who are different for now at least. If you were to find someone else like you at this moment you would find them arrogant and they would most likely think the same of you, which would make it very difficult to be friends with them.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Pingasa]
#12991445 - 08/02/10 03:38 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Arrogance = lack of wisdom = lack of friendliness
There's your problem
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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Crumpet
go sranger



Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Australia
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] 4
#12993475 - 08/02/10 10:38 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your not intimidating dude. You sound like you take yourself too seriously. And someone who considers themselves to be freakishly inteligent must have something els wrong with them... Look, you've lived you life up until now without learning some pretty important lessons obviously. Thats not freakishly inteligent.
Fuck you, peace <
-------------------- Ronda Nina...
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tak
geo's henchman



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Posts: 3,776
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Crumpet]
#12993800 - 08/02/10 11:50 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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You don't need to be smart or dumb to make friends. You have to show genuine interest in someone. We can all be assholes sometimes but that doesn't define who you are. I have a lot of respect for intelligent people, but that doesn't make them better than anyone else.
Maybe you need some hobbies? I don't know what you do for fun, but generally if there are others who enjoy these things, you can become friends.
I know you've gotten some slack for saying what you said, I am not going to judge -- But smart people generally do not need to tell people they are smart, it's relayed during interaction. I understand this is the internet, but if your demeanor is the same in person then this might be your problem. Otherwise, get out and talk to people, thats the only way to make friends. They wont come to you.
-------------------- The DJ's took pills to stay awake and play for seven days.
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Crumpet
go sranger



Registered: 04/21/10
Posts: 1,082
Loc: Australia
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: tak]
#12993890 - 08/03/10 12:14 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I was genuinely offended by this thread. I disagree with some of the posts put up on other threads here but, if I haven't come across as a tripper with a few issues myself to some people I'd be surprised.
There's more forms of intelligence than akedamic ya know.
-------------------- Ronda Nina...
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marmarlun
!


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: circastes]
#12994240 - 08/03/10 01:36 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
circastes said: Arrogance = lack of wisdom = lack of friendliness
There's your problem
This sums the situation up nicely.
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12994785 - 08/03/10 08:05 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
elfamale said: I tried making myself stupid with overdoses of drugs but it never worked.
the ol' crayola oblongata...
lol but how can i not identify?...
Why most people are in the top 1% of intelligence and hold morally superior standards... just ask 'em
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] 1
#12995294 - 08/03/10 10:29 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
elfamale said: And really, I am freakishly intelligent. When you add in all the psychedelics I've taken... I just feel like I usually "get it" and most other people seem kind of clueless.
You have no friends because nobody likes you.
Dont worry though, I have no friends either, and its because people dont like me.
I've never really had friends. Way back when I was five, I had family problems(divorce) and I became anti-social. It just stuck with me throughout my life. I've had "friends" that I've hung out with throughout my life but they always fuck me over. Now I'm in my late twenties and have no life.
Your loneliness will befriend you.
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awesomebastard
Lost



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Posts: 4,891
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#12998397 - 08/03/10 08:44 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
elfamale said:
Does anybody identify with this?
Kind of.
I tried to make myself stupid by taking high high doses of DXM and honestly I think it worked.
I'm still WAY above average and considered highly gifted but not like I used to be.
When I was younger I had a perfect memory and absorbed information like a sponge.
The problem was that my brain didnt have enough stimulation and so it went kinda haywire.
I developed alot of mental problems and anxiety disorders and when I started trying to dumb myself down with DXM I thought it would help.
It did, help that is.
But I still have problems finding people that I have things in common with.
At first others like me, but they find out really quick that we have nothing in common no matter how hard I try.
BTW I'm also an INTP.
--------------------
"Absolute certainty is a privilege of uneducated minds and fanatics." ~ C.J. Keyser Mr. Cypher said: "I just tell the girls how sexy I am and their panties melt."
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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do you regret it at all?
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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lasttime
Stranger
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Dude I think you are me. I have written the exact same thing (pretty much) before about being super-intelligent as a younger kid (up until 13 years maybe). I still consider myself highly intelligent but my memory just isn't the same anymore, and I consider that an important facet of cognitive ability. when one has near perfect access to past information via memory solving (solvable)problems becomes a lot easier. I think it started when I got depressed after my parents divorced along with residual anxiety from my mom's psychological abuse, but part of me thinks that perhaps a cognitive decline from childhood is to be expected in any normal person and that we are merely idealizing the past. some food for thought. I haven't tried to make myself dumber though. Keep at it man, of course you can find people that have common interests as you.
edit: this was in response to awesome bastard
Edited by lasttime (08/03/10 10:59 PM)
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pmb
12121212



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Posts: 2,567
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: lasttime] 2
#13004446 - 08/04/10 10:22 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Anyone whos freakishly intelligent should be able to easily pick up all the social mannerisms of extroverts and easily be able to hold a conversation with anyone of higher or lesser brain power. If you're so smart you should be networking left and right making all kinds of connections with people to better your own life. The more people you know the better your life is. People don't need to be smart to be able to help you.
-------------------- Don't smell the flowers, They're an evil drug to make you lose your mind
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Crumpet
go sranger



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: pmb]
#13005764 - 08/05/10 06:50 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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-------------------- Ronda Nina...
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Primal Glitch
literally just vibing



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Posts: 4,854
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13005788 - 08/05/10 07:06 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
elfamale said:
Quote:
bluecurry said:
It's like looking back on ones younger self, and realizing that back then you could hardly comprehend the present. I feel this same way about the majority of people. The sad thing is, many of those people will stay in a naive state for most if not all of their lifespan. ... I would say that it's just a hassle trying to find people of a similar background who don't happen to also be batshit insane.
Well said, sir. Going insane does wonders for personal development...if you make it back...
Quote:
Xpatriot said: Your intelligence does not alienate you, what does is the fact that you know you are intelligent, at least that's what the case was for me. You dont have to be as you are, your high self discipline is just mental masturbation, it doesn't make you better than others.

--------------------
make the changa you wish to see in the world gnome sayin'?
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
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the problem is you are a identifying too much with yourself... you're a prick, op. or i mean, at least you are acting like a prick... at probably the most inappropriate times. you want to be alone... most intp's do... you wanna teach someone something? teach about your empathic side.
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: akira_akuma]
#13005928 - 08/05/10 07:58 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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wow people have responded so strongly to this thread... what does that tell us about people..?
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: quinn]
#13005944 - 08/05/10 08:02 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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people wanna help each other be better?
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: akira_akuma]
#13005957 - 08/05/10 08:06 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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alot of the posts don't seem very empathetic to ops situation... except those who identify with him
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: quinn]
#13005973 - 08/05/10 08:10 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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people are quick to judge.
look in your own judgements... maybe he is coming off as dick so strongly to certain people that it's even obvious on the internet? so come and ask for help or don't... he has chosen to ask for opinions so he is getting them.
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quinn
some kinda love


Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 6,799
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: akira_akuma]
#13005993 - 08/05/10 08:16 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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you are right... its just whenever i have a strong reaction to something i always ask myself "why?"
I am not trying to judge ppl here tho or even offer an opinion cos i dont have 1
-------------------- dripping with fantasy
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marmarlun
!


Registered: 09/25/08
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: quinn]
#13007594 - 08/05/10 02:06 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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you may be intelligent in some ways, but you are socially retarded if you can't relate to people. That's all there is to it.
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EntheogenicPeace
Scholar



Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 3,926
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: marmarlun]
#13009777 - 08/05/10 10:20 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Edited by EntheogenicPeace (01/04/22 09:13 PM)
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seylm
still breathing


Registered: 04/22/10
Posts: 463
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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I can kind of identify. I'm smart and have very good self control. Sometimes I do feel like other people just don't get it. Having less self control or not "getting it" doesn't make them bad people. I know a guy with a mental disability who needs help spelling even simple words. To be blunt, he's stupid. He's also one of the nicest people I've ever met.
-------------------- Easiest and Stealthiest Way to Grow Psilocybin
"you may be wearing an Armani suit, but it's just pyjamas" - Mooji
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jaggaboo
truth seeker


Registered: 07/25/10
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Loc:
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: seylm]
#13011504 - 08/06/10 09:52 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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you know, sometimes I too feel like i'm too smart and like no one can relate to me, bet then i realize that i'm an idiot, you're a fucking retard, and even Einstein was a stupid ass human. You see, we are all pretty docile and small minded people. Our minds are limited. sure, there are always dummer people to compare yourself to and make yourself seem to be some genius who is cursed never to have any friends. No, you are probably just bitter, or you are too lazy or too self absorbed to go out on a limb and try to have friends. I know, because that's how I am. Nobody fucking cares how smart you are in this world anyway, unless they are just looking for a reason to judge you. nobody cares, people just have social needs. so if you want friends, go try to meet someone elses needs for a change, smart ass!
-------------------- my old man always said, the biggest mistake you can make in life is too think you are alive. look at the turtle go, bro!
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Humility
Working on it



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: jaggaboo]
#13018114 - 08/07/10 04:56 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sounds like you need to trip OP.
Tripping shows you all the millions of ways in which you aren't perfect.
You think you're smart, and that's great. There are, however, millions of scenarios in which someone you'd categorize as "less smart" than you has a significantly higher chance to survive, and even thrive.
It sounds like a terrible example, but a great example is low-level neighborhood gang and crew members (a gang being more of a formal organization, a crew being a collection of individuals). These individuals, many of them anyway, have never had formalized schooling and some can't read or write or spell AT ALL, I'm talking about unable to read billboards that they see every day.
Those same individuals are in some cases capable of earning, and consistently do earn a thousand dollars a day. Your average Private Military Consultant in Iraq might make 300-600 a day RISKING THEIR LIVES BEING SHOT AT. These individuals (the street hoods) are capable of sizing an individual up within moments (observing an individual and determining their motivations, intentions, history, etc.) and can act accordingly just as quickly.
There are different kinds of knowledge. Do you KNOW what it FEELS like to ride a motorcycle at 150 miles per hour on a straight-shot desert highway? How far you can lean to the left or right without, within milliseconds, causing your life on this earth to come to an end?
Those are just a few examples. Life is boring because you're making it that way. You've maxxed out some of your Fallout skills but you have low numbers in other areas. Diversify that porfolio brother.
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Primal Glitch
literally just vibing



Registered: 05/06/07
Posts: 4,854
Loc: 🌎
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Humility]
#13018366 - 08/07/10 06:07 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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--------------------
make the changa you wish to see in the world gnome sayin'?
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Quote:
EntheogenicPeace said: My advice to the OP:
If you are as intelligent as you claim (are we in talking science/physical, logic/reason, or both?), then you should use this to help people if you want to have friends (e.g. giving them good nutrition & fitness advice, taking the time to explain a scientific concept that they are having trouble with if you are in the same class, showing them how to do something if in the same lab, explaining or otherwise putting into proper context a political/global issue, etc.)
As far as thinking others are inherently & irredeemable dumb (Tea Party members excluded ), I disagree. In our ultra-consumerist society, I find that many people just haven't been intellectually challenged in any meaningful way as a result of how our corporate-dominated society is structured. For instance, once in a my comp. class we had to write a final paper on a subject of our choosing, & my was to dismantle the commonly & passively held rationale promoted from the top down post 9-11 that the U.S. was justified in invading Afghanistan. We each had to go in front the of class (it was a few weeks or a month b4 the paper was due) & give a brief oral presentation of our paper. I had to talk pretty fast to get through it all, but I did, & afterward some people (other students in the class) told me that while they never supported the war, they didn't have a good basis/solid argument for this opposition until they had listened to my brief speech.
The above story, yes, was perhaps being overly optimistic in that a lot of Americans (youth especially, which I'm guessing is most relevant here, but maybe not) are just apathetic & concerned only with their own material/comfort status & don't give a fuck about anyone or anything else (at least not outside their circle of friends & family, or at the most outside of whom they consider to be "their people," which is often nationalistic and/or racial in nature.) However, as is to be expected among such a large pool, a lot of people aren't this way. Further, many who aren't don't have good explanations, a global perspective, & an overall underlying basis for their concern due to us being in such an (officially & pervasively) shallow & anti-intellectual society... they don't have good sources of info. & visible leaders to learn from & provoke their thoughts.
What this is getting at: If you are intelligent in the logical & philosophical arena, & have a good deal of knowledge about politics & world affairs, & want to have friends/meaningful conversation/help others/be happier in life, then get involved in one or more progressive/humanitarian organizations & be such a leader... at least in some capacities based on your areas of intelligence.
P.S. The above advice is geared towards someone with a progressive worldview & empathetic to the plight of those less fortunate who strive for but are unable to attain dignity & sufficiency under the current global economic model. If you are a "Fuck everyone & everything else I'm gonna get mine!" right-winger, then I really have no good advice for making friends & being happier (which truly comes from helping others.) Someone else would have to help you in that case.
Again, this was not a request for help.
Furthermore, you are confusing intelligence and experience/education. I read your post 3 times and it seems to be another reflexive defensive response, for the most part. You just used a lot more words than "asshole."
I'm curious though, what are you referring to by "Current global economic model", and what separates those not fortunate enough to obtain dignity and sufficiency under it from those who can?
If I may answer my own question, I think it is knowing what your strengths are and utilizing them for the benefit of humanity that will be recognized and lead to dignity. If however, you are a lazy misanthrope you will be treated as such. It's up to each individual to realize this on his/her own because if you are one of those people, somebody telling you you need to change your behavior isn't going to make you do it. It takes being a good person and reaping the rewards to make people understand that.
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Humility]
#13018934 - 08/07/10 08:29 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Humility said: Sounds like you need to trip OP.
Tripping shows you all the millions of ways in which you aren't perfect.
You think you're smart, and that's great. There are, however, millions of scenarios in which someone you'd categorize as "less smart" than you has a significantly higher chance to survive, and even thrive.
It sounds like a terrible example, but a great example is low-level neighborhood gang and crew members (a gang being more of a formal organization, a crew being a collection of individuals). These individuals, many of them anyway, have never had formalized schooling and some can't read or write or spell AT ALL, I'm talking about unable to read billboards that they see every day.
Those same individuals are in some cases capable of earning, and consistently do earn a thousand dollars a day. Your average Private Military Consultant in Iraq might make 300-600 a day RISKING THEIR LIVES BEING SHOT AT. These individuals (the street hoods) are capable of sizing an individual up within moments (observing an individual and determining their motivations, intentions, history, etc.) and can act accordingly just as quickly.
There are different kinds of knowledge. Do you KNOW what it FEELS like to ride a motorcycle at 150 miles per hour on a straight-shot desert highway? How far you can lean to the left or right without, within milliseconds, causing your life on this earth to come to an end?
Those are just a few examples. Life is boring because you're making it that way. You've maxxed out some of your Fallout skills but you have low numbers in other areas. Diversify that porfolio brother.
Those people still have a lower moment-to-moment probability of survival. I'm curious why you think ingesting a psychedelic drug is your proposed solution to what you think is a problem. Yes, I do know what it feels like to ride a motorcycle at very high speed on a straight, paved road. It's actually pretty stable form the gyroscopic effect of the wheels. Just gotta keep your head down because of the wind. ... My life is actually interesting and filled with challenges. I don't know where you got the idea that it is boring... You know, excessive thrill-seeking can be a sign of inner unrest - Maybe you should take a look inside yourself, with or without the use of psychedelics, and see if there's any conflict... anything you do against your better judgement... insecurities... I don't know...
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: jaggaboo]
#13018950 - 08/07/10 08:33 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
jaggaboo said: you know, sometimes I too feel like i'm too smart and like no one can relate to me, bet then i realize that i'm an idiot, you're a fucking retard, and even Einstein was a stupid ass human. You see, we are all pretty docile and small minded people. Our minds are limited. sure, there are always dummer people to compare yourself to and make yourself seem to be some genius who is cursed never to have any friends. No, you are probably just bitter, or you are too lazy or too self absorbed to go out on a limb and try to have friends. I know, because that's how I am. Nobody fucking cares how smart you are in this world anyway, unless they are just looking for a reason to judge you. nobody cares, people just have social needs. so if you want friends, go try to meet someone elses needs for a change, smart ass!
See?
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elfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: seylm]
#13018984 - 08/07/10 08:43 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
seylm said: I can kind of identify. I'm smart and have very good self control. Sometimes I do feel like other people just don't get it. Having less self control or not "getting it" doesn't make them bad people. I know a guy with a mental disability who needs help spelling even simple words. To be blunt, he's stupid. He's also one of the nicest people I've ever met.
Exactly.
I see a lot of people making mistakes and not understanding themselves or other people and I feel like I see through most of it. Like, nobody knows what they are doing or why they are doing it, and they don't like that awareness. They don't like the responsibility of controlling themselves and taking themselves seriously. But you feel good about people when they treat other people fairly and think about things, and make efforts to be a "good person" whatever that means for them.
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marmarlun
!


Registered: 09/25/08
Posts: 346
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13019678 - 08/07/10 11:13 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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It's funny - instead of thinking about things in terms of YOU, you instead try to guess at what others are thinking 'I see a lot of people making mistakes and not understanding themselves'..geez why don't you turn the lens inwards, instead of assuming things about others?
You'd probably be surprised how off you are most of the time, on the basis of incomplete information alone. (I've known people in the past that think and mull around those exact same ideas - they've build something in their head more than anything)
above average anaylitical skills, below average social skills
Edited by marmarlun (08/07/10 11:14 PM)
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Grav


Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Loc:
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: marmarlun]
#13021474 - 08/08/10 12:11 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I only have a very few close friends and actually now that I think of it, I feel intellectually challenged by all of them. Not as in we're douchebags, but I mean I feel inspired by them. Whatever walk of life they're in, they're basically on the cutting edge of their ability, trying to figure out and accomplish whatever's in their path.
Also, what's with all the comments trashing on the OP? Does someone praising themselves really piss you off that much? It's not like he's on a soapbox screaming "I'M BETTER THAN YOU!!!!" He created his own thread with a valid inquiry. 'Does anyone else feel like this?'
He could be an insecure douche, or he could be a smart guy whose genuinely okay with himself.
Kind of reminds me of the saying 'Curb your Enthusiasm' People get fucking pissed if they see you having a good time or otherwise being pleased with yourself.
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EntheogenicPeace
Scholar



Registered: 10/04/05
Posts: 3,926
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13021758 - 08/08/10 01:34 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Edited by EntheogenicPeace (01/04/22 09:17 PM)
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Spooge
The Nutter
Registered: 04/21/04
Posts: 5,189
Loc: Ice patches that last for...
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: beneath]
#13022266 - 08/08/10 03:22 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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...
Edited by WhiskeyClone (08/21/10 02:27 PM)
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Tesla
VP of Wilfred Brimley Fanclub


Registered: 05/16/09
Posts: 903
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Spooge]
#13027047 - 08/09/10 02:44 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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...
Edited by WhiskeyClone (08/21/10 02:27 PM)
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Leenguy



Registered: 06/26/10
Posts: 373
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Tesla]
#13029251 - 08/09/10 09:48 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I bet that IQ test administered by your psychologist was just a way to make you feel better about yourself.
Have another go at one, see if you're still some kind of genius.
This thread makes you look anything but intelligent. You're problem is you're a prick. That's why people do not like you. You don't fit in!
Your reasoning for this - 'People just aren't on my level.'
Pathetic.
Either that all you are troll.
-------------------- I N T E R P L A N E T A R Y V I B R A T I O N S
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Tesla
VP of Wilfred Brimley Fanclub


Registered: 05/16/09
Posts: 903
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Leenguy]
#13029261 - 08/09/10 09:51 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Leenguy said: I bet that IQ test administered by your psychologist was just a way to make you feel better about yourself.
Have another go at one, see if you're still some kind of genius.
This thread makes you look anything but intelligent. You're problem is you're a prick. That's why people do not like you. You don't fit in!
Your reasoning for this - 'People just aren't on my level.'
Pathetic.
Either that all you are troll.

You pretty much summed it up.
Even if this dude is a genius he obviously couldn't socialize himself out of a paper bag.
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Epigallo
Stranger
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13029479 - 08/09/10 10:40 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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A great many humanists have had genius IQ scores. An agile mind shouldn't hinder your ability to connect to others. Have you ever had a dog? Dogs are dumb, but you've gotta love em.
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Humility
Working on it



Registered: 10/07/08
Posts: 6,745
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Epigallo]
#13031541 - 08/10/10 12:55 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Bradley - I've met dogs that are more useful than many human beings. Dogs that can outperform human beings in every area, including critical-decision makinge.
Definitely gotta love'em.
--------------------

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Oohway
Stranger

Registered: 08/06/10
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13033373 - 08/10/10 07:28 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Jesus Christ you have one of the worst egos I've ever seen. If you're into shrooms, I suggest you take a journey into the Dimethyltryptamine universe and see how your ego treats you there.
Keep those philosophies the rest of your life and keep wondering silently to yourself why you are so unhappy.
I used to think the exact same way, then I came to some realizations that have allowed me to use my intelligence for the right reasons, not only to have an indomitable ego.
You want to know what that realization was? Wisdom is the counterpart to Intelligence, and you my friend are lacking quite a bit of it.
EDIT: My own brother is a living example of your type of mentality, and his existence has almost shepherded me away from that bullshit. Simply put, I'm leading a good life now and he still finds refuge in the temple of assholery he built in his head around his own intelligence.
Lesson of the day: INTELLIGENCE FUCKS UP THE EGO OF INSECURE PEOPLE
Sorry if I came off a bit angry, but I had to live with someone like you for 18 years of my life and that type of thinking is one of the main evils I make efforts to avoid
Edited by Oohway (08/10/10 07:34 PM)
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Oohway
Stranger

Registered: 08/06/10
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Oohway] 1
#13033528 - 08/10/10 08:01 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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This is where the concept of an Educated Fool comes in. You see, I would have identified with you during my high school years, because I was a very intelligent yet extremely socially inexperienced kid. What was the one main difference between me and those around me? My intelligence, that had to be it. The reason I couldn't get along with people, the reason I never got invited to parties, the reason I had almost no friends was because of the one seemingly observable difference: I could do things with my mind that others couldn't. Yes, that has to be it.
The moment you hold onto that idea is the moment you lose touch with reality.
If I was to ask you how your intelligence is justification for your misanthropy, you would lose every time for the simple fact that lies are inherently unsustainable.
Somewhere along the way, I became more interested in learning truth than perpetuating this terrible self concept. What I found was amazing, and my life has been infinitely better ever since. Suddenly, I had the power to use my intelligence to make my own, and other people's lives better. Suddenly, I could become a man who helped others and left the world a better place for simply passing through it. Suddenly, I was happy.
I never lost that intelligence, but instead of wondering to myself every night why all of these bad things were happening to me because of other people, I gained the power to overcome other people's bullshit and work towards fixing real problems around me in my own and other people's lives. If you really are as intelligent as you say you are, its your duty to use it to devise ways of improving and fixing this fucked up world and culture we are all living in.
You think these people are so nefarious to you for so many unreal reasons, when the truth is that REAL tragedies are happening every day. You have the choice to overcome, and so far you've been choosing to play their games. Open your eyes, look inside and face yourself. Are you going to keep lying to yourself, or are you going to take the first steps to improving your mind? You'll be surprised the processing and learning power your brain has when you've attained total peace
Edited by Oohway (08/11/10 12:21 AM)
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phoenity
Stranger

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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Oohway]
#13036465 - 08/11/10 01:17 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your personality is nothing new. You may think you don't need friends because your thinking capacity is enough to get you by in life. While you may get by, also realize you're missing out on a lot more that life has to offer you.
You obviously haven't learned the important lesson mushrooms have to teach you about life. If you had, rather than clinging and identifying, you'd let go of your ego defenses, and realize that you are just a part of a greater whole, that there is nothing to defend against, and it would be much simpler to participate in life on equal grounds with all others.
You're an Enneagram type 5. Read up on it, it will explain your personal strengths and weaknesses, and give you tips on personal growth.
Namaste
Edited by phoenity (08/11/10 01:22 PM)
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ben_dover0802
shroom addict



Registered: 09/21/08
Posts: 648
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: phoenity]
#13043086 - 08/12/10 06:45 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP may be intelligent but sure doesn't have much humbleness. Just to relate: I too consider myself intelligent, possibly because I have a full ride scholarship for one of the most difficult degrees available, and every once in a while I get reminded by my friends(YAY!!)/family/peers.
If you really are okay being alone, and made this thread to announce it to the world, thanks, I am okay with you being okay being alone.
Good friends cannot be replaced with intelligence though. Hopefully you realize it someday. I get the impression you are still young (mid twenties), so you should have ample time.
Goodbye
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creamcorn
mad scientist



Registered: 03/13/06
Posts: 2,962
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13044506 - 08/13/10 12:17 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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the most intelligent people i know keep their ears and eyes open and mouths shut. they understand most learning is done by seeing the other perspective.
the most intelligent people i know can do it, they don't have to say it.
the most intelligent people i know understand that they know very little at all.
food for your freakish intelligence
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TM2443
Lizard King



Registered: 08/03/10
Posts: 394
Last seen: 13 years, 3 months
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: creamcorn]
#13044581 - 08/13/10 12:40 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your posts make you come across like an egotistical dick. If that's your real personality then that's why you don't have any friends dude.
It's not because you're "more intelligent than 99% of people"
It's because you think you are
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jimboob
Stranger

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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13049819 - 08/14/10 09:24 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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i get what your saying about how theres things you get that other people just dont get, but maybe just chill out and enjoy the lil things in life.
and if u have it in your head like "i'm smarter then all these people, nobody will get/understand me or the way i think" then yea you will always be alone. but theres people out there like you, just be happy and friendly and you'll meet people no matter who u are.
and if u think being happy and friendly to people is lowering yourself, then maybe you SHOULD isolate yourself, for our sake
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Grok
Has Been a Bad Boy



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: jimboob]
#13054541 - 08/15/10 11:21 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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If you really think you're freakishly intelligent, then go out and do something incredible with your life. Potential without payoff is nothing but hot air. Can you actually apply your potential in any real-world manner? My brother has claimed these same issues as you have, thinks he's really smart and shit. And in terms of factoids and book knowledge, he is. But that sort of knowledge is no be-all-end-all and it is shortsighted to place yourself above other people just because of some marks you got on a test. Your life will suck if you take that approach, as you seem to be learning.
People often tell me that I'm smart or quick, but I honestly see it the other way. I'm hopefully getting progressively less ignorant, at best. I have some vague conception of the vast realm encompassing how much I do not know, and how many situations I would be helpless in. Focusing on this as opposed to your stunning intellect will instill humility -- rarely a bad thing.
If you're keen on making friends, find some challenging hobbies, especially ones outside of your domain of book smarts. Take up kayaking or something, where you don't know shit and will have to learn from other people. Then if you become some superstar, everyone will want to be your friend anyway.
-------------------- Entropy is increasing. To send me a PM, go to my journal
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Heffy
BrauMeister



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13054675 - 08/15/10 11:55 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I love all these "I am a genius but can't figure out why nobody likes me" threads.
Maybe....you aren't special. Ever think of that?
-------------------- I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund
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swope
n00b


Registered: 07/10/10
Posts: 387
Loc: U.S
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Heffy]
#13057614 - 08/16/10 12:16 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Heffy said: I love all these "I am a genius but can't figure out why nobody likes me" threads.
Maybe....you aren't special. Ever think of that?
yeh dude your not made anything diffrent then anybody else. you bleed blood like everyone else. so what if you "THINK" your smarter you can still get along with people? what do you think the world should bow down to your or something? honstly man if your on a site called the shroomery and asking other people why you dont have friends. obvesly you arent "freakisly smart" or youd know why you didnt have friends?
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WhiskeyClone
Not here


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Grok]
#13083261 - 08/21/10 02:43 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Grok said: If you really think you're freakishly intelligent, then go out and do something incredible with your life. Potential without payoff is nothing but hot air. Can you actually apply your potential in any real-world manner? My brother has claimed these same issues as you have, thinks he's really smart and shit. And in terms of factoids and book knowledge, he is. But that sort of knowledge is no be-all-end-all and it is shortsighted to place yourself above other people just because of some marks you got on a test. Your life will suck if you take that approach, as you seem to be learning.
People often tell me that I'm smart or quick, but I honestly see it the other way. I'm hopefully getting progressively less ignorant, at best. I have some vague conception of the vast realm encompassing how much I do not know, and how many situations I would be helpless in. Focusing on this as opposed to your stunning intellect will instill humility -- rarely a bad thing.
If you're keen on making friends, find some challenging hobbies, especially ones outside of your domain of book smarts. Take up kayaking or something, where you don't know shit and will have to learn from other people. Then if you become some superstar, everyone will want to be your friend anyway.
This is a great post^^
OP, I always tested in extreme percentiles for intelligence too, and I used to think that was worth something. But I didn't know how to make the life I wanted to have because I reasoned that intelligence should be all I need. I measured people primarily by their apparent intelligence because it made me feel good knowing that only a small percentage would stack up.
But there were a lot of areas where I was clearly below average, particularly social skills. I ignored the value of socialization with the same rationale you've written in your post: they don't understand me, they don't understand themselves, they don't understand how the world works, blah blah
I was really naive. Much more important than IQ is your ability to create a rewarding life for yourself. This comes from wisdom -- a much rarer trait than high intelligence. It is something you have to seek and earn as you go.
I'm sure by now you've gathered how arrogant and naive your post sounds. If you have a gift in the intelligence department, then do something great with it. If think the value of people matters, then live a life that is valuable to the rest of humanity. To do that you'll need social skills, and you're probably already a few years behind in that area.
Turn it around. Rethink your attitude about other people before it's too late. It doesn't sound like you're heading for a fulfilling life.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,555
Loc: Utah
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13083475 - 08/21/10 03:58 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP has an ego the size of several major cities, that's why he doesn't have any friends. No one likes him because no one wants to be around someone like that.
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hoodbran
Dosser



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: nooneman]
#13083567 - 08/21/10 04:23 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Destroying the image a narcissist has of himself is dangerous, for they are nothing but empty shells.
Does it then make sense to relate to those who overcompensate for the incredibly emptiness and say, "yeah buddy, you are better off alone than being primitively attached and needy, well done for finding something you adore in yourself"
my 2c
-------------------- Not all drugs are good, Some are great.
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psychedelico
day trippin


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: hoodbran]
#13083574 - 08/21/10 04:26 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Oohway said: Lesson of the day: INTELLIGENCE FUCKS UP THE EGO OF INSECURE PEOPLE
This is true. OP I used to be just like you, feeling like I knew more than everybody and acting like it to. People would say something and I would have to respond and tell them why they are wrong or right. Conversations would go like this: person 1, me, person 2, me, person 3, me, person 2, me, person 1 telling me to shut the fuck up, i'd leave and wonder wtf I did wrong.
Then I met my best friend, who intellectually I would call him borderline retarded. But he has incredible street smarts, more so than I will ever have, he is one of the smartest street people I've ever met in my life, if not THE smartest. I started looking at life a bit differently and from his perspective, literally wondering to myself why he had so many friends and I had so few. I realized how much of a narcissistic asshole I was and ever since then I have been working to destroy that part of my ego. I'm still a narcissistic asshole to this day, but in comparison to who I was a year and a half ago, I'm fuckin Ghandi or Buddha or some shit. Stop looking down on people, stop talking about yourself (because I would bet a good amount of money that you do that a lot), and ask questions and if you can't be real about it, fake being interested. Soon enough you will realize how much better life is with friends, and you will naturally become more social. You won't have to pretend to be interested, it will come naturally.
btw OP I have an IQ of 138 and I got a 1900 on the SAT without taking any of those stupid prep classes, to be honest I was hung over and pretty fucking stoned. Ya know, just in case you need my intellectual credentials to find credibility.
Quote:
hoodbran said: Destroying the image a narcissist has of himself is dangerous, for they are nothing but empty shells.
No not empty, but the person inside is small and frail. It takes a lot of soul searching and sustained sobriety to heal that injured little person.
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meanmrmustard
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To respond to the multiple "I didn't ask for advice" responses given by the original thread poster... in posting something for discussion you shouldn't expect everyone to discuss the topic on the terms you lay out. The reason people keep giving you advice when you didn't ask for it is because many people think the premise of your thread is flawed. To provide an analogy, imagine if you posted a thread to the effect of "Hey, we all know that the Holocaust never happened. What are some other historical events accepted by the mainstream that never happened?" You would get very few people responding to the question you actually asked because most people would disagree with the premise that the Holocaust is one of potentially several widely-accepted-but-bogus historical events. Another analogy can be found in the sciences; if you publish research results and seek further comment on its implications, you also have to be prepared for criticism of your methodology or anything that appears flawed. In this case the tone and content of your posts seem to indicate to some that you are not as intelligent as you think you are, your intelligence (and superior intelligence in general, whatever that actually equates to) being the central theme of your original post. If in fact you're not as intelligent as you think you are (which is the point so many are trying to make, whether or not they do so successfully), it's important to the thread because it would undermine the attitude/perspective you're asking applicable users to identify with. I happen to agree with some of the sentiments expressed in the some of the responses, namely that intelligence (properly conceived) is a quality that goes well beyond one's reasoning ability and that your initial post shows some deficits in some types of 'intelligences,' but this post is really just an attempt to justify the attempts of some users to give you advice despite your objections (by pointing out that such attempts are within the realm of a healthy, rational discussion).
In short, in presenting any sort of information or topic for discussion to the public you need to be ready for discussion about anything that could be gleaned from it.
PS: I don't mean to suggest here that you aren't as intelligent (in a certain way) as you say you are. You may or may not be incredibly gifted in math, chemistry, or any number of academic or non-academic subjects. I just think that people have natural mental strengths and weaknesses and that achieving mental maturity (roughly equivalent here to a kind of general intelligence) is filling in your own unique gaps. Some people are blessed with strong reasoning skills but poor interpersonal judgment. Others are great at relating to other people and exercising wise social judgment but lack a strong ability to grasp complex abstract concepts. This is of course an incredible simplification of something that is incredibly complex, involving potentially and/or seemingly every aspect of our brain chemistry and general physical health (on a general human level and also on an individual level), from our emotions to the very nature of the human condition. But in any case I think that mental maturity is not only maintaining (and improving) your strengths but addressing your weaknesses as well, with the ultimate (theoretical) goal of being rationally impeccable and in a positive, mutually-beneficial relationship with your entire environment (meaning all matter around you). (I say 'you' here to mean anyone, not just you, the original thread poster.) Both qualities I think go hand-in-hand (and are practically synonymous).
PS 2: My Myers-Briggs type is INTP and I can certainly relate to the book-smart-loner crowd, but while maturing for some people is making a stronger effort to hit the books, maturing for me is learning how to relate to people on whatever level they're at and from whatever perspective (to put it non-hierarchically) they may be coming from. I've found, for instance, that I love interacting with children, teaching them things on terms they can understand, and seeing them grow as a result.
PS 3: Initially I didn't intend to retread so much trodden ground but it looks as though I ended up doing so. Anyhow, thanks for reading
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Cherry2
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13087951 - 08/22/10 08:04 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well, I will be honest, you come across as very self-absorbed. This is generally a turn-off for people, and it also makes it difficult to form any close, lasting relationships.
Also, how engaging can a conversation be if your "friend" is exactly like you in every way? Yet, you pretty blatantly imply that anyone not like you just falls short; they are not "worthy" of your friendship.
If I didn't know any better, I would think you were making excuses to keep people out...all under the guise that THEY are the problem in order to avoid honestly admitting that maybe...it is you.
And, to say that most people don't "get it" and you do is a rather subjective opinion, don't you think? I'm guessing you don't, and that is the problem. You don't open your mind to other people's ideas, opinions, perspectives etc. Everything is so black or white, right or wrong for you. But, would you demand this from the people around you? Do you want them to understand your views? It isn't fair to demand something from others that you are not willing to do yourself.
You spend time thinking about how other people can benefit you, but do you ever wonder how your friendship might benefit someone else? Have you ever considered that maybe "intelligence" isn't the only valuable thing people have to offer?
I am quite aware you were not looking for advice, but only others who relate to you and agree with you. Of course that is perfectly in-line with everything I just said. I even know you will dismiss everything I just wrote, but eh, oh well. And no, clearly I do not identify with your problem. It is truly a problem of your own making.
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Oohway
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Oohway]
#13088677 - 08/22/10 11:04 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP, disregard everything that was said earlier. Those people don't understand the level of intelligence you are speaking of.
It is definitely my great fortune to have come in contact with you. You see, we in the outside world have been struggling with this problem for centuries, many psychologists have tried their hand at it, but none of them were as acquainted with the nature of intelligence as you. However, this should be nothing but sport to you as you are indeed the authority on intelligence.
Define Intelligence
Please, please tell us. We have so many definitions floating around, but one is never accepted as an exception is found in every single case. Being that you are the Master Judge on intelligence in yourself and other people, you must know this thing that we don't. We know you want to be alone, we don't even have to credit you if you wish, but at least you can know that you were the guy who did this great deed for the world. Again, don't worry about the posts before me, they don't understand.
The definition should be nothing for you. After all, you exercise it every day
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Tesla
VP of Wilfred Brimley Fanclub


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Oohway]
#13088782 - 08/22/10 11:38 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I guess the OP crawled off to whatever little psychological cave he's built for himself after seeing the myriad of outlooks regarding his self absorbed rant all of which agreed he's rationalizing his social failures.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Tesla]
#13094413 - 08/24/10 08:15 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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help people with your supernatural intelligence. they'll be your friends
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Mr Chang
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13097776 - 08/24/10 09:46 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sorry, didn't read any post past the OP but have you ever watched The Big Bang Theory and specifically noticed Sheldon's interactions with other members of society? You can be or think you are the most intelligent person on earth but you still need some form of social skills.
Social Skillz
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NetDiver
Wandering Mindfuck


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13098192 - 08/24/10 11:38 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
elfamale said: That's just the way it is. When I took an IQ test when they were giving me a bunch of tests to figure out why I am weird I was in the 99th percentile overall and I maxed out the verbal portion of the test. I'm just saying how I'm weird. Like if a girl had DDD breasts or some other really exaggerated trait.
You're not smarter than 99% of others, you're better than 99% of others at taking written tests. You have a skill.
You're focusing on a skill you have. Great. Now focus on some of your weak points (Cthulhu forbid you admit you have weaknesses!) and improving them, to make the whole even better.
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cmoney
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: NetDiver]
#13098508 - 08/25/10 02:21 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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like someone said earlier man, get off your intellectual high horse. I dont even know you and I'm pretty sure I wouldnt hang out with you if I did because you seem to have already made yourself the only person worthy of being YOUR friend. Intellegence is great but theres alot of different types of "smart people." Some of these are socially smart, and if I could guess these people come off as stupid to you. Just accept humans for what they are. And from personal experience, the funnest things I've ever done with my friends would most likely be viewed as 'dumb' by your standards. Me and my friends do have deep conversation sometimes, but only when the time calls for it. We're more about having fun. And If that means a couple people considering us dumb then so be it.
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AlphaFalfa
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: cmoney]
#13102466 - 08/25/10 08:47 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your not really suffering from anything and to some extent this is a good way to perform yourself. However, having had a similair experience, what i think you are searching for is quite simple actually....
Take what you CAN from relationships, do not try to control them with your standards. Let your standards guide who you decide to form a lasting relationship with, however, when it comes to everyday stuff, just take what you can from people. At most even if it does not work out, with everyone, you can atleast teach people how to have more self control and relearn and reshape what you have learnt to get you to this 'level'.
-------------------- if you ever feel lost, just remember, life is not a journey, it is entertainment, all 4 fun...
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: AlphaFalfa]
#13102699 - 08/25/10 09:30 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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this thread is like half a month old... i wonder if op still thinks he is ahead of the pack?
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