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Oohway
Stranger

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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13033373 - 08/10/10 07:28 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Jesus Christ you have one of the worst egos I've ever seen. If you're into shrooms, I suggest you take a journey into the Dimethyltryptamine universe and see how your ego treats you there.
Keep those philosophies the rest of your life and keep wondering silently to yourself why you are so unhappy.
I used to think the exact same way, then I came to some realizations that have allowed me to use my intelligence for the right reasons, not only to have an indomitable ego.
You want to know what that realization was? Wisdom is the counterpart to Intelligence, and you my friend are lacking quite a bit of it.
EDIT: My own brother is a living example of your type of mentality, and his existence has almost shepherded me away from that bullshit. Simply put, I'm leading a good life now and he still finds refuge in the temple of assholery he built in his head around his own intelligence.
Lesson of the day: INTELLIGENCE FUCKS UP THE EGO OF INSECURE PEOPLE
Sorry if I came off a bit angry, but I had to live with someone like you for 18 years of my life and that type of thinking is one of the main evils I make efforts to avoid
Edited by Oohway (08/10/10 07:34 PM)
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Oohway
Stranger

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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Oohway] 1
#13033528 - 08/10/10 08:01 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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This is where the concept of an Educated Fool comes in. You see, I would have identified with you during my high school years, because I was a very intelligent yet extremely socially inexperienced kid. What was the one main difference between me and those around me? My intelligence, that had to be it. The reason I couldn't get along with people, the reason I never got invited to parties, the reason I had almost no friends was because of the one seemingly observable difference: I could do things with my mind that others couldn't. Yes, that has to be it.
The moment you hold onto that idea is the moment you lose touch with reality.
If I was to ask you how your intelligence is justification for your misanthropy, you would lose every time for the simple fact that lies are inherently unsustainable.
Somewhere along the way, I became more interested in learning truth than perpetuating this terrible self concept. What I found was amazing, and my life has been infinitely better ever since. Suddenly, I had the power to use my intelligence to make my own, and other people's lives better. Suddenly, I could become a man who helped others and left the world a better place for simply passing through it. Suddenly, I was happy.
I never lost that intelligence, but instead of wondering to myself every night why all of these bad things were happening to me because of other people, I gained the power to overcome other people's bullshit and work towards fixing real problems around me in my own and other people's lives. If you really are as intelligent as you say you are, its your duty to use it to devise ways of improving and fixing this fucked up world and culture we are all living in.
You think these people are so nefarious to you for so many unreal reasons, when the truth is that REAL tragedies are happening every day. You have the choice to overcome, and so far you've been choosing to play their games. Open your eyes, look inside and face yourself. Are you going to keep lying to yourself, or are you going to take the first steps to improving your mind? You'll be surprised the processing and learning power your brain has when you've attained total peace
Edited by Oohway (08/11/10 12:21 AM)
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phoenity
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Oohway]
#13036465 - 08/11/10 01:17 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your personality is nothing new. You may think you don't need friends because your thinking capacity is enough to get you by in life. While you may get by, also realize you're missing out on a lot more that life has to offer you.
You obviously haven't learned the important lesson mushrooms have to teach you about life. If you had, rather than clinging and identifying, you'd let go of your ego defenses, and realize that you are just a part of a greater whole, that there is nothing to defend against, and it would be much simpler to participate in life on equal grounds with all others.
You're an Enneagram type 5. Read up on it, it will explain your personal strengths and weaknesses, and give you tips on personal growth.
Namaste
Edited by phoenity (08/11/10 01:22 PM)
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ben_dover0802
shroom addict



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: phoenity]
#13043086 - 08/12/10 06:45 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP may be intelligent but sure doesn't have much humbleness. Just to relate: I too consider myself intelligent, possibly because I have a full ride scholarship for one of the most difficult degrees available, and every once in a while I get reminded by my friends(YAY!!)/family/peers.
If you really are okay being alone, and made this thread to announce it to the world, thanks, I am okay with you being okay being alone.
Good friends cannot be replaced with intelligence though. Hopefully you realize it someday. I get the impression you are still young (mid twenties), so you should have ample time.
Goodbye
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creamcorn
mad scientist



Registered: 03/13/06
Posts: 2,962
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13044506 - 08/13/10 12:17 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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the most intelligent people i know keep their ears and eyes open and mouths shut. they understand most learning is done by seeing the other perspective.
the most intelligent people i know can do it, they don't have to say it.
the most intelligent people i know understand that they know very little at all.
food for your freakish intelligence
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TM2443
Lizard King



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: creamcorn]
#13044581 - 08/13/10 12:40 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Your posts make you come across like an egotistical dick. If that's your real personality then that's why you don't have any friends dude.
It's not because you're "more intelligent than 99% of people"
It's because you think you are
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jimboob
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13049819 - 08/14/10 09:24 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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i get what your saying about how theres things you get that other people just dont get, but maybe just chill out and enjoy the lil things in life.
and if u have it in your head like "i'm smarter then all these people, nobody will get/understand me or the way i think" then yea you will always be alone. but theres people out there like you, just be happy and friendly and you'll meet people no matter who u are.
and if u think being happy and friendly to people is lowering yourself, then maybe you SHOULD isolate yourself, for our sake
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Grok
Has Been a Bad Boy



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: jimboob]
#13054541 - 08/15/10 11:21 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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If you really think you're freakishly intelligent, then go out and do something incredible with your life. Potential without payoff is nothing but hot air. Can you actually apply your potential in any real-world manner? My brother has claimed these same issues as you have, thinks he's really smart and shit. And in terms of factoids and book knowledge, he is. But that sort of knowledge is no be-all-end-all and it is shortsighted to place yourself above other people just because of some marks you got on a test. Your life will suck if you take that approach, as you seem to be learning.
People often tell me that I'm smart or quick, but I honestly see it the other way. I'm hopefully getting progressively less ignorant, at best. I have some vague conception of the vast realm encompassing how much I do not know, and how many situations I would be helpless in. Focusing on this as opposed to your stunning intellect will instill humility -- rarely a bad thing.
If you're keen on making friends, find some challenging hobbies, especially ones outside of your domain of book smarts. Take up kayaking or something, where you don't know shit and will have to learn from other people. Then if you become some superstar, everyone will want to be your friend anyway.
-------------------- Entropy is increasing. To send me a PM, go to my journal
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Heffy
BrauMeister



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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13054675 - 08/15/10 11:55 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I love all these "I am a genius but can't figure out why nobody likes me" threads.
Maybe....you aren't special. Ever think of that?
-------------------- I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund
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swope
n00b


Registered: 07/10/10
Posts: 387
Loc: U.S
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Heffy]
#13057614 - 08/16/10 12:16 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Heffy said: I love all these "I am a genius but can't figure out why nobody likes me" threads.
Maybe....you aren't special. Ever think of that?
yeh dude your not made anything diffrent then anybody else. you bleed blood like everyone else. so what if you "THINK" your smarter you can still get along with people? what do you think the world should bow down to your or something? honstly man if your on a site called the shroomery and asking other people why you dont have friends. obvesly you arent "freakisly smart" or youd know why you didnt have friends?
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WhiskeyClone
Not here


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Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Grok]
#13083261 - 08/21/10 02:43 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Grok said: If you really think you're freakishly intelligent, then go out and do something incredible with your life. Potential without payoff is nothing but hot air. Can you actually apply your potential in any real-world manner? My brother has claimed these same issues as you have, thinks he's really smart and shit. And in terms of factoids and book knowledge, he is. But that sort of knowledge is no be-all-end-all and it is shortsighted to place yourself above other people just because of some marks you got on a test. Your life will suck if you take that approach, as you seem to be learning.
People often tell me that I'm smart or quick, but I honestly see it the other way. I'm hopefully getting progressively less ignorant, at best. I have some vague conception of the vast realm encompassing how much I do not know, and how many situations I would be helpless in. Focusing on this as opposed to your stunning intellect will instill humility -- rarely a bad thing.
If you're keen on making friends, find some challenging hobbies, especially ones outside of your domain of book smarts. Take up kayaking or something, where you don't know shit and will have to learn from other people. Then if you become some superstar, everyone will want to be your friend anyway.
This is a great post^^
OP, I always tested in extreme percentiles for intelligence too, and I used to think that was worth something. But I didn't know how to make the life I wanted to have because I reasoned that intelligence should be all I need. I measured people primarily by their apparent intelligence because it made me feel good knowing that only a small percentage would stack up.
But there were a lot of areas where I was clearly below average, particularly social skills. I ignored the value of socialization with the same rationale you've written in your post: they don't understand me, they don't understand themselves, they don't understand how the world works, blah blah
I was really naive. Much more important than IQ is your ability to create a rewarding life for yourself. This comes from wisdom -- a much rarer trait than high intelligence. It is something you have to seek and earn as you go.
I'm sure by now you've gathered how arrogant and naive your post sounds. If you have a gift in the intelligence department, then do something great with it. If think the value of people matters, then live a life that is valuable to the rest of humanity. To do that you'll need social skills, and you're probably already a few years behind in that area.
Turn it around. Rethink your attitude about other people before it's too late. It doesn't sound like you're heading for a fulfilling life.
-------------------- Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it. ~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,555
Loc: Utah
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13083475 - 08/21/10 03:58 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP has an ego the size of several major cities, that's why he doesn't have any friends. No one likes him because no one wants to be around someone like that.
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hoodbran
Dosser



Registered: 06/01/08
Posts: 1,568
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: nooneman]
#13083567 - 08/21/10 04:23 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Destroying the image a narcissist has of himself is dangerous, for they are nothing but empty shells.
Does it then make sense to relate to those who overcompensate for the incredibly emptiness and say, "yeah buddy, you are better off alone than being primitively attached and needy, well done for finding something you adore in yourself"
my 2c
-------------------- Not all drugs are good, Some are great.
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psychedelico
day trippin


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: hoodbran]
#13083574 - 08/21/10 04:26 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Oohway said: Lesson of the day: INTELLIGENCE FUCKS UP THE EGO OF INSECURE PEOPLE
This is true. OP I used to be just like you, feeling like I knew more than everybody and acting like it to. People would say something and I would have to respond and tell them why they are wrong or right. Conversations would go like this: person 1, me, person 2, me, person 3, me, person 2, me, person 1 telling me to shut the fuck up, i'd leave and wonder wtf I did wrong.
Then I met my best friend, who intellectually I would call him borderline retarded. But he has incredible street smarts, more so than I will ever have, he is one of the smartest street people I've ever met in my life, if not THE smartest. I started looking at life a bit differently and from his perspective, literally wondering to myself why he had so many friends and I had so few. I realized how much of a narcissistic asshole I was and ever since then I have been working to destroy that part of my ego. I'm still a narcissistic asshole to this day, but in comparison to who I was a year and a half ago, I'm fuckin Ghandi or Buddha or some shit. Stop looking down on people, stop talking about yourself (because I would bet a good amount of money that you do that a lot), and ask questions and if you can't be real about it, fake being interested. Soon enough you will realize how much better life is with friends, and you will naturally become more social. You won't have to pretend to be interested, it will come naturally.
btw OP I have an IQ of 138 and I got a 1900 on the SAT without taking any of those stupid prep classes, to be honest I was hung over and pretty fucking stoned. Ya know, just in case you need my intellectual credentials to find credibility.
Quote:
hoodbran said: Destroying the image a narcissist has of himself is dangerous, for they are nothing but empty shells.
No not empty, but the person inside is small and frail. It takes a lot of soul searching and sustained sobriety to heal that injured little person.
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meanmrmustard
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Registered: 08/21/10
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To respond to the multiple "I didn't ask for advice" responses given by the original thread poster... in posting something for discussion you shouldn't expect everyone to discuss the topic on the terms you lay out. The reason people keep giving you advice when you didn't ask for it is because many people think the premise of your thread is flawed. To provide an analogy, imagine if you posted a thread to the effect of "Hey, we all know that the Holocaust never happened. What are some other historical events accepted by the mainstream that never happened?" You would get very few people responding to the question you actually asked because most people would disagree with the premise that the Holocaust is one of potentially several widely-accepted-but-bogus historical events. Another analogy can be found in the sciences; if you publish research results and seek further comment on its implications, you also have to be prepared for criticism of your methodology or anything that appears flawed. In this case the tone and content of your posts seem to indicate to some that you are not as intelligent as you think you are, your intelligence (and superior intelligence in general, whatever that actually equates to) being the central theme of your original post. If in fact you're not as intelligent as you think you are (which is the point so many are trying to make, whether or not they do so successfully), it's important to the thread because it would undermine the attitude/perspective you're asking applicable users to identify with. I happen to agree with some of the sentiments expressed in the some of the responses, namely that intelligence (properly conceived) is a quality that goes well beyond one's reasoning ability and that your initial post shows some deficits in some types of 'intelligences,' but this post is really just an attempt to justify the attempts of some users to give you advice despite your objections (by pointing out that such attempts are within the realm of a healthy, rational discussion).
In short, in presenting any sort of information or topic for discussion to the public you need to be ready for discussion about anything that could be gleaned from it.
PS: I don't mean to suggest here that you aren't as intelligent (in a certain way) as you say you are. You may or may not be incredibly gifted in math, chemistry, or any number of academic or non-academic subjects. I just think that people have natural mental strengths and weaknesses and that achieving mental maturity (roughly equivalent here to a kind of general intelligence) is filling in your own unique gaps. Some people are blessed with strong reasoning skills but poor interpersonal judgment. Others are great at relating to other people and exercising wise social judgment but lack a strong ability to grasp complex abstract concepts. This is of course an incredible simplification of something that is incredibly complex, involving potentially and/or seemingly every aspect of our brain chemistry and general physical health (on a general human level and also on an individual level), from our emotions to the very nature of the human condition. But in any case I think that mental maturity is not only maintaining (and improving) your strengths but addressing your weaknesses as well, with the ultimate (theoretical) goal of being rationally impeccable and in a positive, mutually-beneficial relationship with your entire environment (meaning all matter around you). (I say 'you' here to mean anyone, not just you, the original thread poster.) Both qualities I think go hand-in-hand (and are practically synonymous).
PS 2: My Myers-Briggs type is INTP and I can certainly relate to the book-smart-loner crowd, but while maturing for some people is making a stronger effort to hit the books, maturing for me is learning how to relate to people on whatever level they're at and from whatever perspective (to put it non-hierarchically) they may be coming from. I've found, for instance, that I love interacting with children, teaching them things on terms they can understand, and seeing them grow as a result.
PS 3: Initially I didn't intend to retread so much trodden ground but it looks as though I ended up doing so. Anyhow, thanks for reading
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Cherry2
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13087951 - 08/22/10 08:04 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Well, I will be honest, you come across as very self-absorbed. This is generally a turn-off for people, and it also makes it difficult to form any close, lasting relationships.
Also, how engaging can a conversation be if your "friend" is exactly like you in every way? Yet, you pretty blatantly imply that anyone not like you just falls short; they are not "worthy" of your friendship.
If I didn't know any better, I would think you were making excuses to keep people out...all under the guise that THEY are the problem in order to avoid honestly admitting that maybe...it is you.
And, to say that most people don't "get it" and you do is a rather subjective opinion, don't you think? I'm guessing you don't, and that is the problem. You don't open your mind to other people's ideas, opinions, perspectives etc. Everything is so black or white, right or wrong for you. But, would you demand this from the people around you? Do you want them to understand your views? It isn't fair to demand something from others that you are not willing to do yourself.
You spend time thinking about how other people can benefit you, but do you ever wonder how your friendship might benefit someone else? Have you ever considered that maybe "intelligence" isn't the only valuable thing people have to offer?
I am quite aware you were not looking for advice, but only others who relate to you and agree with you. Of course that is perfectly in-line with everything I just said. I even know you will dismiss everything I just wrote, but eh, oh well. And no, clearly I do not identify with your problem. It is truly a problem of your own making.
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Oohway
Stranger

Registered: 08/06/10
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Oohway]
#13088677 - 08/22/10 11:04 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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OP, disregard everything that was said earlier. Those people don't understand the level of intelligence you are speaking of.
It is definitely my great fortune to have come in contact with you. You see, we in the outside world have been struggling with this problem for centuries, many psychologists have tried their hand at it, but none of them were as acquainted with the nature of intelligence as you. However, this should be nothing but sport to you as you are indeed the authority on intelligence.
Define Intelligence
Please, please tell us. We have so many definitions floating around, but one is never accepted as an exception is found in every single case. Being that you are the Master Judge on intelligence in yourself and other people, you must know this thing that we don't. We know you want to be alone, we don't even have to credit you if you wish, but at least you can know that you were the guy who did this great deed for the world. Again, don't worry about the posts before me, they don't understand.
The definition should be nothing for you. After all, you exercise it every day
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Tesla
VP of Wilfred Brimley Fanclub


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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Oohway]
#13088782 - 08/22/10 11:38 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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I guess the OP crawled off to whatever little psychological cave he's built for himself after seeing the myriad of outlooks regarding his self absorbed rant all of which agreed he's rationalizing his social failures.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Tesla]
#13094413 - 08/24/10 08:15 AM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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help people with your supernatural intelligence. they'll be your friends
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Mr Chang
Stranger

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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
#13097776 - 08/24/10 09:46 PM (13 years, 5 months ago) |
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Sorry, didn't read any post past the OP but have you ever watched The Big Bang Theory and specifically noticed Sheldon's interactions with other members of society? You can be or think you are the most intelligent person on earth but you still need some form of social skills.
Social Skillz
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