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Offlineelfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Why I don't have friends
    #12987484 - 08/01/10 09:24 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I am really intelligent.  I have high standards for myself and I usually live up to them. I have a great deal of self control.  I have the same high standards for other people and keep finding myself disappointed. I think these high standards are morally upright. I think lowering my standards would be irresponsible and wrong.

That sounds kind of sociopathic, but I am really a very empathic person. I'm just smarter and better at taking care of myself than most people and am kind of a misanthrope.

And  really, I am freakishly intelligent.  When you add in all the psychedelics I've taken... I just feel like I usually "get it" and most other people seem kind of clueless. I want to find a friend who can engage me mentally... and I don't just mean outperform me in academia or superfluous philosophical debate... It's just that I am more intelligent than 99% of people.  I would join MENSA but it is just a bunch of bullshit.  Most people think I'm arrogant and call me an asshole because they realize they don't live up to the standards I have for myself and others and it is easier to dismiss me as a mean person than to improve themselves. I tried making myself stupid with overdoses of drugs but it never worked.

I have decided to be alone.  I'm OK with that. I feel better that way.  Good thing I have an INTP personality type or that would be a problem.

Does anybody identify with this?


Edited by elfamale (08/01/10 09:29 PM)


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InvisibleParkseerf
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Registered: 01/31/10
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Loc: Louisiana
Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
    #12987558 - 08/01/10 09:36 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Just stop judging things so much. Accept everyone and everything just as it is, that doesn't mean be friends with people you don't like hanging around, but if you would stop judging people so much you might see that people who "don't get it"(assuming there is anything to get) have a lot to bring to the table also, even if you have completely different views than them.


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InvisibleLittleDipster
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
    #12987572 - 08/01/10 09:38 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)



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Offlineelfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Parkseerf]
    #12987600 - 08/01/10 09:42 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Your unsolicited advice in response to what was clearly an inquiry rather than a request for help clearly demonstrates that you do not identify with this.


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Duk Abides


Registered: 05/16/03
Posts: 94,392
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] * 1
    #12987624 - 08/01/10 09:46 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

You know, there's an old axiom: to make a friend you have to be one. Get off your high horse and maybe lower your standards a bit.


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Offlinebluecurry
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] * 1
    #12987636 - 08/01/10 09:48 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I identify, INTJ, however I'm less misanthropic and more of the school of thought that my peers simply haven't reached a point where they could be on my level.

It's like looking back on ones younger self, and realizing that back then you could hardly comprehend the present. I feel this same way about the majority of people. The sad thing is, many of those people will stay in a naive state for most if not all of their lifespan.

I believe that one day I'll at least have a wider selection of peers from a similar demographic than what is available to me now. I'm already rare in the sense that I know I'll use drugs the rest of my life, and many people stop after their 20-30's, then again some people don't even discover these things until then!

I would say that it's just a hassle trying to find people of a similar background who don't happen to also be batshit insane.

edit: Why lower your standards? The statistical chance of being disappointed outweigh the cost of investment involved in lowering your standards for a friendship.


Edited by bluecurry (08/01/10 09:50 PM)


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Offlineelfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
    #12987638 - 08/01/10 09:48 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

ToiletDuk said:
You know, there's an old axiom: to make a friend you have to be one. Get off your high horse and maybe lower your standards a bit.




Quote:

elfamale said:
I think lowering my standards would be irresponsible and wrong.
...
Does anybody identify with this?




Edited by elfamale (08/01/10 09:53 PM)


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Offlineelfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: bluecurry] * 3
    #12987661 - 08/01/10 09:51 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

bluecurry said:


It's like looking back on ones younger self, and realizing that back then you could hardly comprehend the present. I feel this same way about the majority of people. The sad thing is, many of those people will stay in a naive state for most if not all of their lifespan.
...
I would say that it's just a hassle trying to find people of a similar background who don't happen to also be batshit insane.




Well said, sir. Going insane does wonders for personal development...if you make it back...


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Offlinebluecurry
Dragons don't
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Registered: 12/20/08
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
    #12987714 - 08/01/10 09:59 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

What kind of friend are you looking for?

I mean if you are satisfied without face-to-face interaction, then why not look for the best of the best available options?

If you must have a facial friendship (:awesomenod:), you might need to move to an area with the right demographic and do some investigating there.

"Wars are won with boots on the ground" or "Shock and awe" or something.


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] * 3
    #12987785 - 08/01/10 10:09 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I feel where you're coming from, but you really are coming off a bit arrogant. Don't call yourself "freakishly intelligent" man.


--------------------


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Offlineelfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: bluecurry]
    #12987793 - 08/01/10 10:10 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Well I had one good friend. We got along well for a while and made each other stronger, I guess.  Then he screwed up and tried to take a bunch of money from me so I had him work off his debt and I fucked his sister.

Edit: I guess those two things really aren't related... we were in love.


Edited by elfamale (08/01/10 10:27 PM)


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Offlineelfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #12987801 - 08/01/10 10:12 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

I feel where you're coming from, but you really are coming off a bit arrogant. Don't call yourself "freakishly intelligent" man.




That's just the way it is.  When I took an IQ test when they were giving me a bunch of tests to figure out why I am weird I was in the 99th percentile overall and I maxed out the verbal portion of the test.  I'm just saying how I'm weird. Like if a girl had DDD breasts or some other really exaggerated trait.


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Offlinebluecurry
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
    #12987876 - 08/01/10 10:23 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

elfamale said:
Well I had one good friend. We got along well for a while and made each other stronger, I guess.  Then he screwed up and tried to take a bunch of money from me so I had him work off his debt and I fucked his sister.




So... where does morality come into play with this? You sound less intelligent than you seem to believe yourself to be.

Quote:

elfamale said:
That's just the way it is.  When I took an IQ test...




Who administered the IQ test, what were the perimeters?


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Offlineelfamale
Hi. I'm from the internet.

Registered: 08/08/09
Posts: 305
Last seen: 9 years, 9 months
Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: bluecurry]
    #12987932 - 08/01/10 10:29 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

bluecurry said:
Quote:

elfamale said:
Well I had one good friend. We got along well for a while and made each other stronger, I guess.  Then he screwed up and tried to take a bunch of money from me so I had him work off his debt and I fucked his sister.




So... where does morality come into play with this? You sound less intelligent than you seem to believe yourself to be.

Quote:

elfamale said:
That's just the way it is.  When I took an IQ test...




Who administered the IQ test, what were the perimeters?




See edited post - I didn't fuck his sister because he owed me money... I just have trouble determining the significance of ideas that pop into my head sometimes, haha...

edit: what I was getting at is if our friendship wasn't over after the money BS, it certainly was after his sister and I got together....

And I took two IQ tests, with almost the same results on each.  Each administered by a licensed psychologist.


Edited by elfamale (08/01/10 10:30 PM)


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OfflineXpatriot
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Registered: 07/30/08
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] * 1
    #12988292 - 08/01/10 11:35 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

I once found myself in a similair situation as yourself. There was a time when I did have friends, lets say before highschool. Upon entering highschool it became abundantly clear to me and others around me that I was intelligent, and as you exclaim not the normal get straight As type. The what the fuck is this person talking about, you intimidate me type. And that was the problem. Your intelligence does not alienate you, what does is the fact that you know you are intelligent, at least that's what the case was for me. You dont have to be as you are, your high self discipline is just mental masturbation, it doesn't make you better than others. I have no real advice to give except realize how plastic your perception of the world can be, and that if you truly want to change your negative pretentious attitude...it can be done. How can it be done? Thats something only you can figure out, by means of intensive introspection of course. Thats what it took for me, years of thought and conscious effort. Your brain is intelligent but socially your dumb, if your as smart as you claim, you will be able to manipulate yourself enough to fit in. This self manipulation and forced change comes at the cost of losing your current identity, things like your high moral standards. Decide which is more important and start your inner work. Its possible, Ive dont it.


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OfflineCherk
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale] * 2
    #12988596 - 08/02/10 12:47 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

...


--------------------
I have considered such matters.

SIKE


Edited by WhiskeyClone (08/21/10 02:19 PM)


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OfflineTesla
VP of Wilfred Brimley Fanclub


Registered: 05/16/09
Posts: 903
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
    #12989041 - 08/02/10 03:14 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

elfamale said:
I am really intelligent.  I have high standards for myself and I usually live up to them. I have a great deal of self control.  I have the same high standards for other people and keep finding myself disappointed. I think these high standards are morally upright. I think lowering my standards would be irresponsible and wrong.

That sounds kind of sociopathic, but I am really a very empathic person. I'm just smarter and better at taking care of myself than most people and am kind of a misanthrope.

And  really, I am freakishly intelligent.  When you add in all the psychedelics I've taken... I just feel like I usually "get it" and most other people seem kind of clueless. I want to find a friend who can engage me mentally... and I don't just mean outperform me in academia or superfluous philosophical debate... It's just that I am more intelligent than 99% of people.  I would join MENSA but it is just a bunch of bullshit.  Most people think I'm arrogant and call me an asshole because they realize they don't live up to the standards I have for myself and others and it is easier to dismiss me as a mean person than to improve themselves. I tried making myself stupid with overdoses of drugs but it never worked.

I have decided to be alone.  I'm OK with that. I feel better that way.  Good thing I have an INTP personality type or that would be a problem.

Does anybody identify with this?



I can empathize on some basic levels. However I think we fundamentally disagree on the fact that it's irresponsible to lower your standards.

It seems like they are unrealistically high and in many cases this thread itself is a manifestation of you admitting that on some level it seems.

If you are finding yourself in a position where you cannot function socially due to your perceptions than although they may be good for self preservation and retaining a prideful tone to your life it sounds like in itself your searching for an answer not an assertation as to how you can move on to being socially healthy while retaining your high standards.

The first thing to consider is that they may be unrealistic. If you are that bright its upon you to find the intelligence and more importantly the heart to appreciate others for their unique gifts and capabilities. Your excessive judgments on others are robbing you of companionship.

Furthermore the fact that you associate befriending those of lower intelligence levels as an irresponsible choice while completely overlooking the unique things they have to offer outside of traditional academic acuity is in itself telling me one of two things. Your either suffering from an unhealthy level of narcissism or you feel like letting those people in would lower your worth or hurt you in some way.

My advice is if your really as intelligent as you claim to be start appreciating life for what it is and people for what they are. If you can't do that than although you may test high and be a genius your obviously lacking the common sense or empathy to live a full and healthy life. And that in itself is purveying your own eccentricities something that's far more self deprivating than lowering your standards.


Edited by Tesla (08/02/10 03:15 AM)


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OfflineRolledOats


Registered: 06/20/10
Posts: 49
Loc: Pale blue dot Flag
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: Tesla]
    #12989833 - 08/02/10 09:53 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Regardless of your personality type, it's important to have friends. Studies have shown that the negative health effects of social isolation are comparable to those of cigarette smoking. It's definitely worth it for your own "perfection" to have friends or at least be socially active in some way (regardless of your personality type).


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InvisibleParkseerf
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Registered: 01/31/10
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Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
    #12990111 - 08/02/10 11:22 AM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Quote:

elfamale said:
Your unsolicited advice in response to what was clearly an inquiry rather than a request for help clearly demonstrates that you do not identify with this.




Well i can identify with this, im completely introvert myself. I really only have one good friend with whom i can discuss things such as spirituality, relationships, "God", ect, and be comfortable with. I have a few other friends who i play music, hang out, ect, with. They are both valuable, in their own ways, our views are very different, i might be more academically inclined than them but they are helpful in their own ways. The fact that you posted here implies that your looking for some sort of input so:shrug:.

In all honesty you don't sound like a very pleasant person to be around so maybe that's it, but then again this is the internet.


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Invisible65535


Registered: 01/10/10
Posts: 101
Re: Why I don't have friends [Re: elfamale]
    #12990366 - 08/02/10 12:24 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

Tone down the "Fuck you/you're a retard" stuff please, guys



Edited by WhiskeyClone (08/21/10 02:22 PM)


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