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 memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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 How would this make YOU feel? 
#12910839 - 07/17/10 09:07 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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I have some insecurity issues, so every now and then I feel vulnerable and I check my girlfriend's text inbox. It's happened a total of ~5 times. Well today I woke up and was taking bonghits and since we've been on the rocks, i was curious. Found this convo (bold is her):
Quote:
'come to dc this weekend'
: 'i mean, it'd be nice to see, but we haven't seemd to be on the best terms lately and you have been pretty uninterested in maintaining a friendship... so i hope you understand wy i'm not going to break plans to come there. i'm willing to try and work something out another time.
'i'm not that interested in a friendship, that's one thing i wantd to talk to you about. have a nice weekend
'i'll tell myself that it's your loss'
'well comign there to hear you tell me you don't want to be friends with me just seems like i'd be setting myself up for a lousy time. have a nice weekend yourself
'sorry for bothering you'
'you didn't bgother me, math'
'i've just been thinking of you lately'
'i wanted to spend a weekend with you and see if things could be like before'
' i miss your danc'ing'
'math, dont you have a lady that lives at your parents house. i'm sure they could be like before, but the contexts of our lives are way different now'
'i guess, goodnight'
'sorry, i can't really talk right now i'm in class'
'what time should i expect you this weekend'
'i'm assuming around 5. i'm making some kimchi reubens
'hahah you know i can't stomach trash cabbage, although i do remember it being almost enjoyable on a reuben'
She obviously didn't go there for the weekend, since I was with her last night/this morning.
I would lvoe to get over my trust issues, but when my compulsive nature uncovers shit like this, how the fuck can I get over it?
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12910841 - 07/17/10 09:07 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Oh yeah, and the dude is her X, from a lil while back.
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Doc_T
Random Dude
 
Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado 
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12910860 - 07/17/10 09:18 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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She's over him, it sounds like.
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You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: Doc_T]
#12910963 - 07/17/10 10:12 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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I'm sure she is. I just wish she'd be more open about these things.
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Doc_T
Random Dude
Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12911078 - 07/17/10 10:51 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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She is probably afraid you'll freak out due to insecurity.
Nothing happened, is happening, or is going to happen- so why tell you anything?
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You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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 Taco Chef
I found dead John Cheever
Registered: 03/03/06
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12911095 - 07/17/10 10:56 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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it a bad habit to get into meams---it only leads to paranoia and speculative jealousy
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mongo lloyd
Lone Free Ranger
Registered: 10/16/09
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: Taco Chef]
#12911500 - 07/17/10 12:45 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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This thread would be more at home in Conspiracy Theories.
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: mongo lloyd]
#12912235 - 07/17/10 04:00 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
mongo lloyd said:
This thread would be more at home in Conspiracy Theories.
Well, since it has to do with a relationship - i'd say you're wrong.
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mongo lloyd
Lone Free Ranger
Registered: 10/16/09
Posts: 9,356
Loc: Everywhere
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12912252 - 07/17/10 04:03 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
meams said:
Quote:
mongo lloyd said:
This thread would be more at home in Conspiracy Theories.
Well, since it has to do with a relationship - i'd say you're wrong.
Well, since I was joking and you were being paranoid - I'd say you're wrong.
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kissablemilklight
The Ever-present
Registered: 05/09/10
Posts: 567
Loc: Pasadena, CA
Last seen: 10 years, 7 months
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12912257 - 07/17/10 04:05 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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She sounds like she doesnt want to get involved with any sort of sexual relationship with the guy, and doesnt want to go chill with him, soooo... what do you have to worry about? Why would she need to tell you about a text conversation she is having if she doesnt plan on actually going to visit the guy?
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"It's Gloom as unpredicted on this earth. I realize all the uncountable manifestations the thinking-mind invents to place wall of horror before pure realization that there is no wall and there is no horror just transcendental empty kissable milk light of everlasting eternity's pure and perfect empty nature"- Kerouac
Party Tent Brewing
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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I don't know. Guess i'm just crazy, 'eh?
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PowerTrip
Polypharmaceutical Shaman
Registered: 03/07/05
Posts: 1,148
Loc: The void
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12912449 - 07/17/10 05:09 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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I have mixed feelings about people being unable to let go of their pasts. Not that you need to shut someone out, but keeping contact with an ex whose clear intention is only to have sex is a bad idea.
It's just typical bullshit. People being too insecure to let go. Instead they linger in a pseudo "friendship" with their ex, occasionally flirting back and forth. It all seems innocent on the surface but after the first major fight in their relationship they end up finding comfort in a fling with the ex they've been keeping around.
I'm not judging because I've been in every position as far as that goes. I've been the ex, the current partner, and I've even been the one talking to my ex. The bottom line is that it is still a red flag and an indication that the relationship is not completely healthy. People who are really into their partner don't seek companionship in their ex lovers.
There's nothing you can do about it other than deciding if you want to continue to be in a relationship with someone who can't move on.
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I spit reality, instead of what you usually learn
and I refuse to be concerned with condescending advice
cause I'm the only motherfucker that can change my life
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: PowerTrip]
#12912458 - 07/17/10 05:12 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
PowerTrip said:
It all seems innocent on the surface but after the first major fight in their relationship they end up finding comfort in a fling with the ex they've been keeping around.
That's basically my only issue. I hate knowing that a single fuckup on my part paired with a few too many beers, and all of a sudden my relationship is fucked and i've been shit on again.
I think she's way over him though. Not keeping him around. Just trying to be civil w/ a friendship.
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Konyap
Registered: 06/30/07
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12912554 - 07/17/10 05:31 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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the minute a guy says friendship and is talking to a girl i automatically assume he's gay
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Doc_T
Random Dude
Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: Konyap]
#12912762 - 07/17/10 06:22 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
People who are really into their partner don't seek companionship in their ex lovers.
Agree. At the same time it's possible to stay in the friend zone.
Happened w/ my ex-wife, we get along great now. We'll never be romantic or physical, but we are closer than most people.
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You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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atayia
nom nom
Registered: 02/24/08
Posts: 1,319
Loc: Canada 
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: Doc_T]
#12914107 - 07/18/10 01:50 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Trust me she's over him, he sounds like he's harassing her and she doesn't know what else to say short of FUCK OFF YOU CREEP, perhaps because she wants to maintain some form of pleasentness between the two of them...but ya she definately does not want him.
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: atayia]
#12914406 - 07/18/10 05:52 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Word up. I appreciate all the reassurances everyone. I know she's into me like WHOA - but I've been dicked over sooooooo hard in the past I have a lot of things to work through.
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Doc_T
Random Dude
Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 42,395
Loc: Colorado
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12914425 - 07/18/10 06:07 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
meams said: I have a lot of things to work through.
Don't let her see too much of that at once- ease into it.
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You make it all possible. Doesn't it feel good?
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memes
Blessed
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: Doc_T]
#12914430 - 07/18/10 06:12 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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She's already aware of it. We had a lot of really headie conversations kinda early on in our relationship (not right away, a few months in). We've both been in a few long term relationships, and we're both incredibly mature when it comes to our romantic lives - so we know exactly what we want and we communicate very very effectively (except, it would seem, when she thinks the communication might make me worry).
Plus, she's a counselor, and works one-on-one & in small groups with autistic children for a living... so i know she has the patience to put up with me (although she swears i'm not an emotional burden of any sort)
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Konyap
Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
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Re: How would this make YOU feel? [Re: memes]
#12915938 - 07/18/10 03:48 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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The only way a guy can be friends with a girl is if there is like a group atmosphere, if he's hiding out then he's just a weirdo.
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