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the_drummer
Stucking Foaned



Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1,647
Loc: The Kan-Abyss
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Anxiety is driving me insane
#12822268 - 06/29/10 08:38 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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I don't know how much more of this I can take.
A little back story: 24, male, I currently take 20 mgs. of Prozac daily for anxiety...
I have this girl that I've been seeing and everytime I start to think about her, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Often times, I do. I've started gagging myself just to get it out in hopes of relieving some of the intense stomach knots that I feel. That unto itself is nothing special. I know that new relationships are a frequent cause of anxiety and stomach discomfort.
The problem is how this is effecting me in other ways of my life. I have a job interview today and I can't eat anything because I know I'll just throw it up. I can't even drink water because that won't stay down either. I haven't slept well in weeks, I feel worn out and depressed all the time and I know it has something to do with not being able to eat comfortably or control my thoughts.
I've had good luck with meditation in the past but it doesn't seem to be helping now. I feel like I'm just falling deeper and deeper into my fears about myself and my future.
God it's so fucking cliche I know but I can't stand it, it's literally driving me crazy. For as long as I can remember, I've never been able to trust my stomach or my body for that matter. When I went out on my first date with this girl, I was sweating so bad and I had to excuse myself to throw up during dinner. This is horrible and terrifying! Is this what I have to look forward to with every stressful situation that I will encounter for the rest of my life?
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  "That's the vernacular, isn't it?" --Mrs. Peel
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rezen
Time Traveler


Registered: 05/21/10
Posts: 1,031
Loc:
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: the_drummer]
#12822274 - 06/29/10 08:40 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Shit bro I would hit the doctor up if its that bad....
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the_drummer
Stucking Foaned



Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1,647
Loc: The Kan-Abyss
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: rezen]
#12822282 - 06/29/10 08:41 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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I don't have insurance...and I'm afraid of taking more meds. Honestly, I'd like to kick the prozac and go back to st. johns wort but I'm afraid it might not be strong enough for me.
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  "That's the vernacular, isn't it?" --Mrs. Peel
Edited by the_drummer (06/29/10 08:42 AM)
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Out Grow
Community Vendor



Registered: 09/03/09
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: the_drummer]
#12822288 - 06/29/10 08:43 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Medicating with marijuana doesn't help?
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the_drummer
Stucking Foaned



Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1,647
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Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: Out Grow]
#12822304 - 06/29/10 08:46 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
melius09 said: Medicating with marijuana doesn't help?
It can but it has it's own side effects-- it makes me very, very self conscious. Plus it's expensive and not always easy for me to find in my area. Don't get me wrong, I loves my weed but I want it to be recreational.
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  "That's the vernacular, isn't it?" --Mrs. Peel
Edited by the_drummer (06/29/10 08:49 AM)
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Out Grow
Community Vendor



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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: the_drummer]
#12822313 - 06/29/10 08:49 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Sounds like the lesser of 2 evils in this case
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LittleDipster



Registered: 06/18/10
Posts: 4,141
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: Out Grow]
#12822382 - 06/29/10 09:04 AM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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ever tried breathing techniques?
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the_drummer
Stucking Foaned



Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1,647
Loc: The Kan-Abyss
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Quote:
melius09 said: Sounds like the lesser of 2 evils in this case 
Life would be better though if I didn't have to rely on drugs to make me feel normal. I wish I didn't have to take anything honestly.
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LittleDipster said: ever tried breathing techniques?
Just with meditation. I do breath focus when I meditate and it usually helps but then when I'm done, it's like the anxiety is waiting right there for me to finish so it can hop back on my back and ride me around.
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  "That's the vernacular, isn't it?" --Mrs. Peel
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twighead
mͯó



Registered: 08/27/08
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: the_drummer]
#12823814 - 06/29/10 02:28 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Hmmmm do benzo's help at all?
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Cloud9
I don't feel, and it feels great




Registered: 07/03/03
Posts: 1,554
Loc: between here and there
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: twighead]
#12825016 - 06/29/10 05:41 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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seeing a doctor without insurance isn't that expensive... i go to the local medical school facility and get seen and get scripts without insurance for less than 60$ a visit, often with a blood or urine test. it's worth checking out.
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circastes
Big Questions Small Head


Registered: 01/14/10
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: Cloud9]
#12825563 - 06/29/10 07:36 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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This sounds like me when I was really fucked up back in the day. It turned out the problem was existential, and psychological, rather than chemical.
What do you believe? Existentially, metaphysically, religiously... ie. What is this?
-------------------- My solitude... My shield... My armour... TESTED WITH FULL FORCE
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fazdazzle
Wanderer


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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: the_drummer]
#12825608 - 06/29/10 07:45 PM (13 years, 8 months ago) |
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Stopping running from it.
I read an article in Nature on this. This psychologist did a study on overcoming fears and found that conventional "rewriting" of fear-based memories only made new memories, so the old ones till popped up from time to time. The only way to fully rewrite the memory is to experience it then change it. There's a window of something like 20 minutes to 2 hours where it can be effectively changed.
I suffer from anxiety myself, though I don't throw up or anything, I just feel like the world is about to collapse and I'm going to loose my mind. This has become less and less of a problem lately. The last time I actually had a problem with anxiety I confronted it, acknowledged what I feared, then I switched gears and told my mind opposite positive things and since then things have been pretty good. It works best if you *really* push it. I mean like scream out loud and start crying and just slam that new memory in place.
If you are looking for further reading, I would highly recommend "The Handbook to Higher Consciousness." It places the responsibility of your destructive emotions on you. You can't possibly expect to bend the world to your expectations forever (easy, non-fearful situation), and there's no point in waiting for a miracle (suddenly no anxiety), so take responsibility and knock this shit out of the ring. Yeah, it can suck and it can be tough, but aren't you sick of it? how sick of it are you?
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the_drummer
Stucking Foaned



Registered: 03/20/09
Posts: 1,647
Loc: The Kan-Abyss
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: fazdazzle]
#12827820 - 06/30/10 09:32 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
twighead said: Hmmmm do benzo's help at all?
Yes, actually. Funny story. I left school three years ago for financial reasons. This made me depressed. I had been taking St. Johns wort for general mood enhancement but when I left school, I needed something stronger because I was starting to have some scary thoughts. So I went on prozac and it did a pretty good job. I felt some of the weird twitchy shit from time to time and the suicidal thoughts were disturbingly frequent but I was never really serious about it you know, just sort of thought from time to time about how easy it would be to just put an end to it all.
But anyways, now my life is starting to turn around...I've met this girl, I might be getting an awesome job, I'm applying to schools for next winter...I'm not depressed anymore. So, yesterday before my interview, basically while I posted all the above, I was having a panic attack. I spoke to my father about it and he offered me a Valium only on the condition that I not take my prozac that day. So I took the valium and within an hour, I was sitting in the room getting grilled by five people about my work ethic and shit, sweating balls because the a/c was broken.
My point to this ramble being, yes Benzos help. I'd forgotten how they got me through the few oral presentations I actually managed to perform in college and had I not taken one yesterday, I'd have never gone to that interview.
Quote:
circastes said: This sounds like me when I was really fucked up back in the day. It turned out the problem was existential, and psychological, rather than chemical.
What do you believe? Existentially, metaphysically, religiously... ie. What is this?
No, I don't think so. I'm fairly confident in my beliefs. I tend to agree with what I see and believe what I hope for...if that makes sense. In other words, I don't follow religions per say because I think it's a crap shoot--I mean only dead people can tell you if there is a god or heaven or an afterlife or anything really other than just being dead and obviously I don't talk to dead people...so it's pointless to worry about it until the time comes for you to find out for yourself. In the meantime, I just try to follow the rules of Karma. That always works pretty well for me and keeps me feeling at least positive about my day-to-day actions.
Quote:
fazdazzle said: Stopping running from it.
I read an article in Nature on this. This psychologist did a study on overcoming fears and found that conventional "rewriting" of fear-based memories only made new memories, so the old ones till popped up from time to time. The only way to fully rewrite the memory is to experience it then change it. There's a window of something like 20 minutes to 2 hours where it can be effectively changed.
I suffer from anxiety myself, though I don't throw up or anything, I just feel like the world is about to collapse and I'm going to loose my mind. This has become less and less of a problem lately. The last time I actually had a problem with anxiety I confronted it, acknowledged what I feared, then I switched gears and told my mind opposite positive things and since then things have been pretty good. It works best if you *really* push it. I mean like scream out loud and start crying and just slam that new memory in place.
If you are looking for further reading, I would highly recommend "The Handbook to Higher Consciousness." It places the responsibility of your destructive emotions on you. You can't possibly expect to bend the world to your expectations forever (easy, non-fearful situation), and there's no point in waiting for a miracle (suddenly no anxiety), so take responsibility and knock this shit out of the ring. Yeah, it can suck and it can be tough, but aren't you sick of it? how sick of it are you?
Soooo sick of it. It's all I know. It's why I've quit so many things in my life. Why I've felt okay with giving up when I should have sucked it up and taken the hit and the life lesson like a human being should.
Alright, here is another funny/sad example of how this thing is wrecking my life. This date that I went on...it was the THIRD date with this girl that I really like. It was time to make my move. She'd made the move to hug the last two times so I knew it was my turn to go in for the kiss. Well, the first two dates, I've had to stop at the walgreens by her house before hand just to throw up and get my shit together. Well, this third time, I decided to force myself to keep driving past the Walgreens and go straight to her house. Well, I pull up and we're planning on going to the beach so she come walking out in her skimpy beachwear and I break out in this huge fucking sweat. And when she goes back inside to get her stuff, I throw up in the bushes. And I hadn't even eaten anything all morning. It was terrifying because my anxiety, no matter how hard i tried to control, still...still...had the upper hand.
At the end of the date, even after a margarita and applying sunscreen to each other's backs, I was too nervous to make a move so we didn't even hug, we merely waved goodbye. And then I went home and threw up again.
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  "That's the vernacular, isn't it?" --Mrs. Peel
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4ohdmt
between reality and nonsense


Registered: 12/26/08
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: the_drummer]
#12828135 - 06/30/10 11:04 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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hey, as far as your nausea, I have pretty bad nausea related to my anxiety. went on the antidepressant Remeron which helps a lot with nausea AND somewhat with anxiety, but ended up stopping because it was driving me nuts during opiate w/d (it's an alpha antagonist while clonidine is an agonist) I felt like kicking and thrashing around in bed and I was pouring sweat... but at least I kept my stomach down, lol. I switched to Ondansetron which doesn't do much for anxiety but it helps me keep my food down. It works even better and won't make you tired or anything. In my case, I'll be a little anxious and a little nauseous, and they sorta feed off eachother, so the ondansetron helps a lot and indirectly helps with the anxiety. Even when I don't have panic attacks, I still get sick with any anxiety whatsoever and I don't want to take benzos every day. It gets a little better if you just decide to feel the fear all the way through, not trying to avoid it, it's called mindfulness. When we try to not feel things, that's where a lot of our problems come from.
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Fernis
Will provide



Registered: 04/28/10
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: 4ohdmt]
#12831669 - 06/30/10 09:47 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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I know how you feel. I've been dealing with this for 10+ years now. Thanks to it I've basically done nothing with my life. I am now forcing myself to do things. I went and submitted a couple of applications today at some restaurants. Tomorrow I start studying to take the A+ Cert exam. I owe a boat load of money on student loans, but at least I got a degree out of it. Hopefully it serves me some good. I've had enough of this crap, it's been running my life for too long. I gotta fight back. And even if in the end I lose? I still went down putting up one hell of a fight.
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LustfulLinsanity
The Familiar Stranger



Registered: 03/25/10
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Re: Anxiety is driving me insane [Re: Fernis]
#12834310 - 07/01/10 12:22 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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I suffered from bad anxiety for close to 2 years to the point that i would no longer leave the house for weeks at a time. I never tried any anti anxiety pills but what finally worked for me was going to see a highly respected homeopath. Grant you it took about 8 months for the remedy to take hold, but i can honestly say at this point in time my anxiety is mostly at 0, with an occasional spike of 2-3 on a scale of 1-10. Its still a work in progress though.
-------------------- I wish to become enlightened, to know bliss, to be a pure expression of joy, to slake my insatiable thirst.
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