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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
What I was thinking on 12/1/02
    #1274850 - 02/03/03 04:20 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

No real reason for this post... I was just reading through my journal, and this was the last entry I made.  I felt like posting it.  So here is my head! :laugh: :

12-1-02

I know not whether I should retreat from this world into a life of silence and solitude or fight to save it from what I see as its eminent destruction.  Part of me wants so badly to stand and fight, and knows that I could save the world if I but tried; but part of me knows that it would be so much easier to just turn my back on it and walk away.
Tonight I stared out the window of my lonely apartment into the darkness of a cold winter night.  It seemed at first as if the stars were falling from the heavens until I realized that there could not be so many stars and that it was simply snowing.  It seemed as if a blanket were falling from the sky in a million tiny little pieces; a blanket of the purest white, intricately sewn by Mother Nature.
The cold and the snow make me want to hibernate.  I want to just sleep the winter away like some rodent in its cozy little burrow.  It seems only natural to me.  Why have humans ventured so far from all things natural?  Why have we put ourselves on a pedestal above all other living organisms on this planet?  Why have we declared ourselves gods by trying to control nature but only succeeding in destroying something that was perfect before we placed our hands upon it? 
How can I be a member of a race of beings that does these things and not voice my oppositions against it?  I could fight.  And I could win.  Or I could bow my head in acquiescence and go on "living".
I can see myself living in a small cabin in the middle of the woods, far from any roads or buildings or other human life, with only the plants and animals around me as my companions.  I could find everything I needed to live from the land around me and not take any more than I needed.  I could live there happily and quietly and in harmony with nature.  But could I live like that knowing that the rest of the human race was still out there plundering blindly toward its destruction?
I can see myself as a leader.  A leader of a new world where there is no war, no pollution, no overpopulation, no harm whatsoever to nature or Mother Earth.  I can see myself showing people how to live in harmony with the Earth, showing them why they must live this way if they want their species to be able to survive on this planet.  I can see myself teaching people a love and reverence for nature and a profound hatred for things like war. 
Why is there war?  Nobody wants it.  It's a horrible thing.  Why has no one thought of a way to not have war?
My thoughts are jumbled.  That's what happens when you spend a lot of time by yourself.  When there is no one to talk to, there is nothing to do but think.  That's one of the reasons I like solitude so much.  But it can be so depressing, too.
I don't understand how people cannot love nature like I do.  Perhaps they do not see the pure genius and wonder in it all.  Perhaps they have not found happiness from nature like I have found. 
Instead of popping pills to be happy, people could simply take a stroll through the woods to rejuvenate their spirit if they but realized it.  Nature has left me humbled and awed, with a feeling that there is something profoundly sacred out there controlling it all. 
Nature truly is my God.
I feel it is my duty to fight for it rather than walk away.

-RebelSteve 


--------------------
Namaste.


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OfflineDavid_Scape
Anti Genius
Male

Registered: 08/05/02
Posts: 878
Loc: U.S. of muthafuckin A.
Last seen: 8 years, 22 days
Re: What I was thinking on 12/1/02 [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1274946 - 02/03/03 04:39 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Damn... You sir, definitely know how to use a journal. Nice mental dump!

Quote:

I know not whether I should retreat from this world into a life of silence and solitude or fight to save it from what I see as its eminent destruction.




I think anyone who's considered his situation, and the situation of his fellow humans, can relate to somthing like this. Can you afford to be neutral on a train moving around a ball of fire in the middle of nowhere????


--------------------
focusing
Flow
The Enneagram


Edited by David_Scape (02/03/03 06:21 PM)


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: What I was thinking on 12/1/02 [Re: RebelSteve33]
    #1275279 - 02/03/03 06:20 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

i know how you feel man, and i know there are others too who feel simmilar to this if not the same. you know who you are :wink: :smile: . maybe the day will come when we will walk out of our homes out of our "lives" and back to reality, back to the earth instead of hiding from nature as if it was some kind of monster.

in more ways than one i feel this to be ineviatble, and as well what i really want to do.

your comment on falling stars... damn. ive had a couple dreams in the past about that. one time they all fell all over this area and destroyed everything, everything was on fire and exploding and rocks falling down. that was at least a 2 years ago, and now that feeling is back in to reality.

im wondering if thats what really happened to the space shuttle but either we dont know or the govt doesnt want to alarm anyone or they dont know themselves. but it wouldnt surprise me if it was and if it did happen, and im wondering if it really will soon.  but in either case if something like that did start happening i would leave and retreat back into nature somewhere, lol maybe escape the falling sky by retreating back into nature and let my intuition (nature) guide me.


--------------------
What?


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InvisibleZero7a1
Leaving YourWasteland

Registered: 10/23/02
Posts: 3,594
Loc: Passing Cloud
Re: What I was thinking on 12/1/02 [Re: David_Scape]
    #1275289 - 02/03/03 06:23 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

lol i would say its like heading INTO a ball of fire in the middle of no where. you cant afford to be neutral, well have to make a decision, either die and go in the fire or run the way the hell in the opposite direction, staying neutral is just as much deciding to jump in the fire than anything else.


--------------------
What?


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InvisibleRebelSteve33
Amateur Mycologist
Male

Registered: 05/28/02
Posts: 3,774
Loc: Arizona
Re: What I was thinking on 12/1/02 [Re: David_Scape]
    #1275389 - 02/03/03 06:58 PM (14 years, 4 months ago)

Damn... You sir, definitely know how to use a journal. Nice mental dump!

Thanks, David! :laugh:

-RebelSteve

 


--------------------
Namaste.


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