Home | Community | Message Board

Sporeworks
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]
Anonymous #1

Is it worth it?
    #12709064 - 06/08/10 01:02 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I dont even feel comfortable writing this,but there nobody i can talk to and i need some perspective. Bear with me...i gotta get this out

About a year ago i met a girl and we instantly hit it off. I had a girlfriend at the time i met this other girl, but it didnt matter to me because i wasnt happy or faithful with her.When i met this girl my only intentions were to fuck. We spent the weekend together, had sex and generally hit if off real well

Before i met her i had just gotten back together with a girl who i had been on and off with for a while. I got back with her for the wrong reasons, pretty much because i knew she loved me and her love felt good but i never felt the same way and knew i never would. It had been like this with every girl i have ever been with. They would develop serious feelings for me while the relationship on  my part felt fake. I could never feel anything for these girls past a sexual desire, to the point where i thought i had some serious intimacy issues. It was like i genuinely wanted to feel something for them but i just couldnt. I felt cold and unhuman at times.

So me and the girl i met developed a relationship that consisted of us seeing each other on the weekends through mutual friends. We would never make plans together but we would hang out for days when we did see each other. I was starting to really like her as a person; she was genuinely kind, smart and she could keep up with me sexually. Still though, the guilt of being unfaithful to another girl who i know loved me deeply and didnt deserve this started to eat at me.

After a few months, her feelings for me began to manifest themselves. She was opening up to me more. I finally ended it with my girlfriend, which didnt go over well. I hurt her badly and i still regret it to this day.

So the other girl and i start dating. She asked me out which was unusual but i expected stuff like that from her. For the first time, i felt a genuine connection to a female. For once it wasnt fake on my part, it was comfortable and real. We dated for about 6 months
(but saw each other for 6 months prior), during in which this time she told me she loved me, but was alright with the fact that i couldnt say it back. She held me down and was the best girl ive ever been with.She was mature, witty, intelligent and has the biggest heart of anyone ive ever met. All my friends liked her and she fit perfectly into my life.

throughout our realationship, i always got this feeling there was something bothering her that she wouldnt talk to me about. it drove me crazy.

well, she shows up at my house one day and tells me she had herpes.she was crying her eyes out and expected the moment she told me to be the end. she thinks she was born with it, because her mom has it, and it showed up two years earlier. she didnt tell me in fear of losing me, and told me she could only spread it when she had an outbreak, which she got very rarely. still i was infuriated, hurt, i felt like an idiot. But i cared about this girl more then i've ever cared about anyone. ive been with alot of girls, and have alot of people in my life, but none of them ever meant anything to me like she did. 

so i did what i always do, pretended the problem wasnt there. i ignored it and stayed with her for about a month after that. It finally got to me and i couldnt do it anymore. i told a friend of mine, who had been in this very sAme situation before and came to me for advice so i thought i could trust him. he told someone who in turn told someone, and down the chain it went. it got back to a girl i slept with before me and her started dating and i had to explain the situation to this other girl and i felt like shit doing it. i realized i didnt want to have to do that to anyone ever again. I broke up with her.

I got tested and i dont have it. thank god. but this girl is still in my life, and i find myself wanting to be with her more then anyhting. ive tried to get over her. i tried distracting myself with other girls, but my mind and heart lead back to her. she still wants me and she dealing with the pain of losing someone she loves because of what she has. its hard to watch her hurt like that.

ive been with alot of girls and none ever felt as real as her. i dont know if i love her, im not even sure if i can love another person, i sometimes feel like i dont love myself. but what i feel is the closest thing to love that im capable of feeling. i feel empty without her, and ive never felt like this before. im protective of her, which i was never like in any other relationhship ive been in. i dont know what to do. is she worth it?

i wake up everyday and push back so much pain and regret i live with already. i dont want to have to add this on top of it.

i dont know what ill regret more, not being with her and never finding someone else who i connect with and actually care about like her, or being with her and getting this disease and losing her somewhere down the road.

ive become that guy, the guy who post a huge poorly written rant about his love life on the shroomery. sorry guys, but i could use some advice and perspective. thanks for listening

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 3 years, 25 days
Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12709277 - 06/08/10 01:43 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I'd still want to be with the person I loved, even if he had herpes.
That being said, nobody's really in the position to tell you what to do, because they're not you.
It all depends on what your priorities are. :shrug:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #2

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12709297 - 06/08/10 01:47 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

It's just herpes, a lot of sexually active people have it.

1 out of 6

It's not like she has AIDS.

Personally, if I really cared about her, I wouldn't mind. My girlfriend wouldn't have unprotected sex with me for several months, turned out she had HPV. I was fine with that.

But those are pretty different.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #12709399 - 06/08/10 02:02 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

thanks for even reading all that.

if i knew that this was the girl id be with for the rest of my life it would be an easy decision. and i could see that happening, but that doesnt mean it will. i dont want to be with her despite this and find my self down the road without her and now with herpes.  its not even a guarantee i would get it though.

a couple of people who are close to me know about this situation, and they all advise me to let her go. if i decided to be with her it would be like im choosing her over long time friends. the friendships i have would deteriorate because they would look at me differently, being that they are not really educated on the subject, then again neither am i. most of these people dont even feel like true friends and she honestly means more to me.

....i just dont want to live with any more regret either way

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #3

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12714899 - 06/09/10 12:55 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

I don't think herpes is worth it :shug:. If you're comfortable or willing to keep her in your life it may do both of you some good though.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSynesthetic
Ratings go in journal.
Male User Gallery


Registered: 12/11/08
Posts: 2,715
Loc: Tooele, UT
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #12716808 - 06/09/10 07:31 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

If you plan on spending your life with this woman, don't sweat it.

If you're going to hit it and quit it, always use protection.

Honestly herpes isn't that big a deal. 1 in 6 has the STD version, plus about 98% of us get cold sores caused by other forms of the virus. Herpes is one of those things they use to scare kids into abstinence. Like..."OMG IF I GET THE HERP MY DICK'S GONNA GET NASTY WARTS AND ROT OFF".

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineclaraclairvoyant
well oiled machine
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Synesthetic]
    #12716838 - 06/09/10 07:35 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

its better to regret something you've done than something you didn't do. open up to her!


--------------------

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #4

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #12717002 - 06/09/10 08:09 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Could anyone give me a tl;dr version?

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #12718417 - 06/10/10 12:48 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I don't think herpes is worth it :shug:. If you're comfortable or willing to keep her in your life it may do both of you some good though.




what do you mean do both of us some good?

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #5

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12718449 - 06/10/10 12:59 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

sounds like you like her a lot.

but god damn if she gives you herpes you might not be so lucky with outbreaks.

that shit is straight up nasty.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #12718588 - 06/10/10 01:28 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Like mushroomtrip said, "its all about my priorities", and im not exactly sure where mine stand.

i really cant stop thinking about this unless im fucked up but thats a separate problem on its own.

im trying to envision myself living with the "what if" of the situation, and on the other hand im picturing me constantly defending myself and her to my friends and anyone who might know the truth in the future. and what if it doesnt work out for some reason down the line and i get burnt. either that or ill end up settling for someone else whos not her and thats not fair to anyone.

im the worst at making simple decisions let alone shit like this. its just one thing after the next...

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #5

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12718615 - 06/10/10 01:35 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Like mushroomtrip said, "its all about my priorities", and im not exactly sure where mine stand.

i really cant stop thinking about this unless im fucked up but thats a separate problem on its own.

im trying to envision myself living with the "what if" of the situation, and on the other hand im picturing me constantly defending myself and her to my friends and anyone who might know the truth in the future. and what if it doesnt work out for some reason down the line and i get burnt. either that or ill end up settling for someone else whos not her and thats not fair to anyone.

im the worst at making simple decisions let alone shit like this. its just one thing after the next...





Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #3

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12719476 - 06/10/10 08:31 AM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
I don't think herpes is worth it :shug:. If you're comfortable or willing to keep her in your life it may do both of you some good though.




what do you mean do both of us some good?





You like this girl a lot don't you? You need to decided is if you want or can have her in your life. If not, you need to take actions to ensure this strategy works for you. If you do still want her around I would still advise you not to sleep with someone with herpes, but maybe a deep friendship could come from this if you are comfortable with that. I feel for you man. :peace:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineBoba JFET
Stranger
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/01/10
Posts: 276
Loc: Nebraska Flag
Last seen: 13 years, 10 days
Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #12720309 - 06/10/10 12:09 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Herpes doesn't seem so terrible if she's the *one*. Just be sensible. If you have sex, use a condom. At least until you're sure she's the one you want to spend your life with. Then you can have herpes together. :heart::heart::heart:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #1

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Boba JFET]
    #12721142 - 06/10/10 03:10 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

its starting to make sense. im not willing to risk it. i love who she is as a person and ill find a way to keep her in my life, but i cant be with her. being friends though is probably just wishful thinking and less likely.

this seriously helped

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Anonymous #3

Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #12721279 - 06/10/10 03:33 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
its starting to make sense. im not willing to risk it. i love who she is as a person and ill find a way to keep her in my life, but i cant be with her. being friends though is probably just wishful thinking and less likely.

this seriously helped




:hug:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: Is it worth it? [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #12721333 - 06/10/10 03:44 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Glad you got it worked out ANON#1.  Def a tough situation to be in.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleMentalMeltdown
Fuckin Stuckin in the Muckin
Male


Registered: 01/14/09
Posts: 975
Loc: Philly Flag
Re: Is it worth it? *DELETED* [Re: memes]
    #12721465 - 06/10/10 04:05 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Post deleted by MentalMeltdown

Reason for deletion: ...


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMushroomTrip
Dr. Teasy Thighs
Female User Gallery


Registered: 12/02/05
Posts: 14,794
Loc: red panda village
Last seen: 3 years, 25 days
Re: Is it worth it? [Re: MentalMeltdown]
    #12721573 - 06/10/10 04:27 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Um, you?


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs

:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinedopestone
tryptavision
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/03/09
Posts: 753
Last seen: 11 years, 2 months
Re: Is it worth it? [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #12722005 - 06/10/10 05:57 PM (13 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

MushroomTrip said:
Um, you?




is that balinese cat yours?


--------------------
in general, i'm not sure if i'm indecisive or not.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | Next >  [ show all ]

Shop: PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Original Sensible Seeds Feminized Cannabis Seeds   Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Women suck
( 1 2 all )
ds442 1,296 22 04/12/18 03:26 PM
by occollegeboi

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Middleman, Shroomism, automan, yogabunny, CookieCrumbs, Northerner
2,207 topic views. 0 members, 3 guests and 3 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.03 seconds spending 0.007 seconds on 16 queries.