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OfflineSprezzatura
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Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
"Let's have sex! But first, some questions." * 3
    #12684340 - 06/04/10 11:30 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Girlfriends know how to get answers out of your ass.  You can avoid questions all day, at the bar, at the club, at the gym, whatever you're doing, you can avoid any question she asks... that is, except for when she's about to fuck you. 

Women are sneaky little devils... they'll get you all fired up, rubbing on your junk and kissing ya, and just when you think everything is going smoothly, she'll ask you a serious question... and you know the only way you're getting any, is if you answer that question.

So, in my grand efforts of not being a chump anymore, I have instilled a new bedroom policy that: no questions are to be asked 20 minutes before, during or 20 minutes after coitus. :laugh:

Oh, and don't act cool, you know it's happened to you before :wink:


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Offlinesuburbanned
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Registered: 02/20/08
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Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684365 - 06/04/10 11:34 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Your rule will come back to haunt you, what if you're trying to fuck and she asks a question, then 19 minutes later asks another question?  Does "wanna fuck?" count as a question.


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Offlinehighdroponics
Professional Deadhead
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684376 - 06/04/10 11:35 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah that is some bullshit...


Fuck what the government is doing with mind control, we had it all along, it's called pussy.


--------------------
Dr :ronpaul: says to stop trying to treat the side-effects of big government and focus on the core issues. End the Federal Reserve/audit the gold reserves at Fort Knox, abolish the IRS, end all wars and occupancies, stop the building of an empire that will inevitably fail, and cut all unconstitutional federal programs. Put the power back in the peoples' hands by ending this nanny-state.


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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: suburbanned]
    #12684388 - 06/04/10 11:36 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Yes, no questions!  Girlfriends don't ever ask you if you want to fuck, they just know that you do, and most guys, like me, will be up for a good shaggin' at any moment of the day.


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684403 - 06/04/10 11:37 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

this has honestly never happened before :shrug:


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Offlinefeifen

Registered: 10/18/08
Posts: 7,040
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
    #12684408 - 06/04/10 11:39 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

learningtofly said:
this has honestly never happened before :shrug:




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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
    #12684412 - 06/04/10 11:39 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Oh man get the fuck out of here, never?  Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story :wink:

Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Offlinefeifen

Registered: 10/18/08
Posts: 7,040
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684417 - 06/04/10 11:40 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Had a girlfriend for 5 years. Sex wasn't for questions :shrug:


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InvisibleSouthernGulfStyle
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684418 - 06/04/10 11:41 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

maybe a time or 2 i dated a chick way back for 2 and half years and she pulled shit like that on me i can remember her fuckin with my head like that


--------------------

Awebig Faggot said " Nice fucking question, shivers blood.
Seriously, go." ahahah A prime example of getting mad through a computer


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Offlinebootedboy
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly] * 1
    #12684431 - 06/04/10 11:42 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

learningtofly said:
this has honestly never happened before :shrug:




Either you never get any pussy or you don't associate yourself with women who manipulate you. I am betting it is the latter so props to you on not dating crazy bitches who try and run your life because they hate theirs.


--------------------
Ask me about ARX!!!


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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: feifen]
    #12684443 - 06/04/10 11:44 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

feifen said:
Had a girlfriend for 5 years. Sex wasn't for questions :shrug:




In 5 years she never got your ass in bed and said, before getting it on "I need to ask you something"?

How the hell did you pull that off stud?


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684445 - 06/04/10 11:45 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Oh, and don't act cool, you know it's happened to you before :wink:



It's how all of us end up living in a suburb, married, with two kids and a dog.


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: bootedboy]
    #12684454 - 06/04/10 11:46 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Oh man get the fuck out of here, never?  Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story :wink:

Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.



.
Quote:

bootedboy said:
Quote:

learningtofly said:
this has honestly never happened before :shrug:




Either you never get any pussy or you don't associate yourself with women who manipulate you. I am betting it is the latter so props to you on not dating crazy bitches who try and run your life because they hate theirs.




We've been dating since january and the longest we've gone without sex is 3 days. She wants it just as much as I do.


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OfflineSolemente
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684490 - 06/04/10 11:52 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:

Oh, and don't act cool, you know it's happened to you before :wink:



I know, I so wish I could say this hasn't happened to me before:facepalm:

It's not like women do this all the time, but every now and then:grrr:


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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: koraks] * 1
    #12684491 - 06/04/10 11:53 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Hahaha Yeah, I had just gotten done being intimate with my girlfriend the other day, when she said, in this soft, serious tone, "When are we getting married?"
:suicide:

She took advantage of the fact that I was 1.) Out of energy and 2.) out of testosterone and 3.) that we just had an intimate moment which puts you in a position of being weak and more susceptible to answering questions.

And of course my dumb ass smiles and says "We'll see, soon I'm sure" instead of what I wanted to say which was "NEVER! God fucking damn it, why the fuck are you so eager to chop my fucking nuts off, HERE, HERE, take this fucking saw blade and just get it over with" :smile:


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Offlinefeifen

Registered: 10/18/08
Posts: 7,040
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684506 - 06/04/10 11:56 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

:shrug: She never had to do that. If she had something to say to me she would just say it, we had a very open relationship


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684512 - 06/04/10 11:57 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

OP sounds like u got a shitty girl?


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InvisibleRazzl3Frazzl3
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
    #12684518 - 06/04/10 11:57 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

learningtofly said:
Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Oh man get the fuck out of here, never?  Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story :wink:

Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.



.
Quote:

bootedboy said:
Quote:

learningtofly said:
this has honestly never happened before :shrug:




Either you never get any pussy or you don't associate yourself with women who manipulate you. I am betting it is the latter so props to you on not dating crazy bitches who try and run your life because they hate theirs.




We've been dating since january and the longest we've gone without sex is 3 days. She wants it just as much as I do.



Wait until you live together. I've been asked things, but sex was never part of the equation. Hope she doesn't learn that one!


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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
    #12684582 - 06/04/10 12:07 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Nah, it's my fault really.  I lost control of the situation.  When we first started dating 4 years ago, I was 23 and I was still pretty wild.

I was a leather jacket & mohawk, drink copious amounts of liquor and do crazy shit kinda guy, into revolutionary thinking, art, music, alcoholic writer etc. and she was a girly girl.  :facepalm: Hot preppy girls are my weakness.  So she wasn't really used to my kind of lifestyle and my kind of radical thinking etc. 

At first, She'd ask me where I was and what I was doing and I'd say stuff like "Don't ask me about my business, what are you training to be an FBI interrogator?" and I wouldn't say anymore.  I came and went as I pleased.

But as time wore on, I became a regular sucker, I admit it.  I went from no compromise--my way or the highway, to saying 'yes dear', and I hate myself for it because it's not how I am supposed to be, it's not how I am.  I've classically been manipulated by a possessive and controlling woman against all of my better judgment and will. 
I'm a Grade A sucker.

EDIT:  And don't be fooled, it WILL happen to you one day too.


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


Edited by Sprezzatura (06/04/10 12:09 PM)


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura] * 1
    #12684673 - 06/04/10 12:21 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

it just sounds like you went from being an ass to being whipped.


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InvisibleRazzl3Frazzl3
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
    #12684720 - 06/04/10 12:27 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

learningtofly said:
it just sounds like you went from being an ass to being whipped.



Time to bring the 'hawk back!  :pimp3: instead of :yakko:


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OfflineMeat_hod
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
    #12684743 - 06/04/10 12:30 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

This kind of shit only happens in highschool...


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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
    #12684770 - 06/04/10 12:33 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

learningtofly said:
it just sounds like you went from being an ass to being whipped.




Oh dude, "ass" wouldn't be the right word for it, I was an unstoppable force of awesome.  You didn't see many punk guys back then banging hot preppy girls.  Shit, I played music, I owned a club, I was a show promoter and like a fuckin' rock star back then... now I'm sitting around on christmas eves in a fuckin' sweater talking about theatre productions, new business endeavors, my plans for the future and shit.


You'll fizzle out too, one day... don't worry.  If you don't.. hell man, more power to you, I wish you the best with that... keep rockin'.


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684799 - 06/04/10 12:37 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

that's just like, your opinion, man.


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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
    #12684809 - 06/04/10 12:39 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)



--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684841 - 06/04/10 12:43 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

fuckin' A.


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Invisiblemillzy
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684864 - 06/04/10 12:46 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

maybe it was just the chloroform but i've never had this happen to me either.


--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


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OfflineSnip
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12684979 - 06/04/10 01:03 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

She learned the first time I made her sleep outside.


--------------------
cross my heart and hope to die


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OfflineBrugman
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12685020 - 06/04/10 01:10 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Haha, women.

You done got castrated, Sprez.


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Invisiblemillzy
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12685055 - 06/04/10 01:15 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:







--------------------
I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger


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Offlineiamu
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: millzy]
    #12685077 - 06/04/10 01:19 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

yall ever got the "I jsut dont want to have sex if im not going to see you for monthss" lol she literally asked me to start dating while we were gettin ready to do the dirty. and..we didnt do it = ( lol


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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: iamu]
    #12685101 - 06/04/10 01:25 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

"It's time we had a long boring discussion about our relationship!"


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Offlinelearningtofly
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12685204 - 06/04/10 01:44 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

FUCK


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Invisibleniteowl
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura] * 1
    #12685267 - 06/04/10 01:53 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Oh man get the fuck out of here, never?  Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story :wink:

Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.




Sorry, that has never happened to me and Im in a 19 year marriage.

Perhaps if you were to answer your girl friends questions
when she asks them, she wouldn't have to resort to bribery :shrug:


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future


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Offlineiamu
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: niteowl]
    #12685453 - 06/04/10 02:20 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

the voice of reason has spoken


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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: niteowl]
    #12686277 - 06/04/10 04:05 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Haha, how much did my girlfriend pay you to say that? :wink:

It's hard to answer the types of questions she has, they're so painfully boring... she's not cool at all, she's an immature brat and a preppy and your typical average woman.  I'd be all about having a straight up conversation with a woman, but these questions are just nagging bra and they mostly stem out of personal insecurity and lack of confidence.


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12686300 - 06/04/10 04:08 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
... she's not cool at all, she's an immature brat and a preppy and your typical average woman.



i resent that sir.


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OfflineSprezzatura
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #12686330 - 06/04/10 04:11 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

claraclairvoyant said:
Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
... she's not cool at all, she's an immature brat and a preppy and your typical average woman.



i resent that sir.




Why do you resent it?  I wasn't talking about you.... unless you're my girlfriend.


--------------------
Spectaculorum procedere debet





:mushroom2: :beer:


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Invisiblesui
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." (moved) [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12686438 - 06/04/10 04:29 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

This thread was moved from The Pub.

Reason:
better here.


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InvisibleSociety
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: niteowl]
    #12686597 - 06/04/10 04:57 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

millzy said:
maybe it was just the chloroform but i've never had this happen to me either.




Post chloroform tek?

Quote:

niteowl said:
Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Oh man get the fuck out of here, never?  Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story :wink:

Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.




Sorry, that has never happened to me and Im in a 19 year marriage.

Perhaps if you were to answer your girl friends questions
when she asks them, she wouldn't have to resort to bribery :shrug:




I don't think it has happened to me either.


--------------------
Delicious Pizza


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Invisibleniteowl
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
    #12687222 - 06/04/10 06:42 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Haha, how much did my girlfriend pay you to say that? :wink:

It's hard to answer the types of questions she has, they're so painfully boring... she's not cool at all, she's an immature brat and a preppy and your typical average woman.  I'd be all about having a straight up conversation with a woman, but these questions are just nagging bra and they mostly stem out of personal insecurity and lack of confidence.




You sound like the typical selfish male prick who only has women around for sex.

If you truly cared about her then you would help build her confidence up
rather than brushing her off and only keeping her around for a wet hole to stick your dick in


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future


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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: niteowl] * 1
    #12687282 - 06/04/10 06:50 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Haha, I used to ask my girlfriend questions after sexually exhausting her.  She'd tell me anything.  :satansmoking:


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.


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InvisibleSociety
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: deCypher]
    #12687299 - 06/04/10 06:53 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

The only question before sex I've gotten is "do you have a condom?

If no, then skip columns 28 through 31."

I was having sex with an IRS chick.


--------------------
Delicious Pizza


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OfflineFloating_In_Space
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura] * 1
    #12693960 - 06/05/10 09:33 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Sprezzatura said:
Yes, no questions!  Girlfriends don't ever ask you if you want to fuck, they just know that you do, and most guys, like me, will be up for a good shaggin' at any moment of the day.




This leads to questions not being asked like
* Do you want to put it in my ass?
* Do you want me to suck your cock?
* Hey my girlfriend wants to join is that cool?
*  And on and on!!!


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OfflineBoba JFET
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Floating_In_Space]
    #12694264 - 06/05/10 10:38 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

This has also never happened to me. This also sounds like one of those big hints that this is not the right relationship, if she has to bribe you with sex to get a conversation. You should just want to talk. Find a cool girl. This may require not being a prick.


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Offlinekaxenti
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: deCypher]
    #12701480 - 06/07/10 03:14 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Cyph3r said:
Haha, I used to ask my girlfriend questions after sexually exhausting her.  She'd tell me anything.  :satansmoking:



You seem like such a horribly confident, arrogant and manipulative guy.
I want to be just like you.


Edited by kaxenti (06/07/10 03:22 AM)


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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: kaxenti]
    #12702596 - 06/07/10 11:37 AM (13 years, 7 months ago)

:rofldrunk: I'm actually pretty nice in person.


--------------------
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.


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Offlinekaxenti
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: deCypher]
    #12702833 - 06/07/10 12:38 PM (13 years, 7 months ago)

Quote:

Cyph3r said:
:rofldrunk: I'm actually pretty nice in person.




If that's true, that's even more unfair and I'd just want to be even more like you since it doesn't mean you lose any of the personality traits I already described (at least not in your "online persona"), you just get another positive one.

Anyway, not like I need to be told about life being unfair^^

On-topic - Never happened to me either.


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