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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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"Let's have sex! But first, some questions." 3
#12684340 - 06/04/10 11:30 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Girlfriends know how to get answers out of your ass. You can avoid questions all day, at the bar, at the club, at the gym, whatever you're doing, you can avoid any question she asks... that is, except for when she's about to fuck you.
Women are sneaky little devils... they'll get you all fired up, rubbing on your junk and kissing ya, and just when you think everything is going smoothly, she'll ask you a serious question... and you know the only way you're getting any, is if you answer that question.
So, in my grand efforts of not being a chump anymore, I have instilled a new bedroom policy that: no questions are to be asked 20 minutes before, during or 20 minutes after coitus. 
Oh, and don't act cool, you know it's happened to you before
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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suburbanned
Stranger

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 2,810
Last seen: 13 years, 5 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684365 - 06/04/10 11:34 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Your rule will come back to haunt you, what if you're trying to fuck and she asks a question, then 19 minutes later asks another question? Does "wanna fuck?" count as a question.
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highdroponics
Professional Deadhead



Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 5,574
Loc: Earth, Milky Way Galaxy
Last seen: 11 years, 3 days
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684376 - 06/04/10 11:35 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yeah that is some bullshit...
Fuck what the government is doing with mind control, we had it all along, it's called pussy.
-------------------- Dr says to stop trying to treat the side-effects of big government and focus on the core issues. End the Federal Reserve/audit the gold reserves at Fort Knox, abolish the IRS, end all wars and occupancies, stop the building of an empire that will inevitably fail, and cut all unconstitutional federal programs. Put the power back in the peoples' hands by ending this nanny-state.
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: suburbanned]
#12684388 - 06/04/10 11:36 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Yes, no questions! Girlfriends don't ever ask you if you want to fuck, they just know that you do, and most guys, like me, will be up for a good shaggin' at any moment of the day.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684403 - 06/04/10 11:37 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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this has honestly never happened before
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feifen

Registered: 10/18/08
Posts: 7,040
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
#12684408 - 06/04/10 11:39 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
learningtofly said: this has honestly never happened before 
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
#12684412 - 06/04/10 11:39 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Oh man get the fuck out of here, never? Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story 
Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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feifen

Registered: 10/18/08
Posts: 7,040
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684417 - 06/04/10 11:40 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Had a girlfriend for 5 years. Sex wasn't for questions
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SouthernGulfStyle
FreeDriftinSpirit



Registered: 04/01/10
Posts: 3,130
Loc: texas,usa
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684418 - 06/04/10 11:41 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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maybe a time or 2 i dated a chick way back for 2 and half years and she pulled shit like that on me i can remember her fuckin with my head like that
--------------------
Awebig Faggot said " Nice fucking question, shivers blood. Seriously, go." ahahah A prime example of getting mad through a computer
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bootedboy
SpaceCowboy



Registered: 06/30/08
Posts: 1,381
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly] 1
#12684431 - 06/04/10 11:42 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
learningtofly said: this has honestly never happened before 
Either you never get any pussy or you don't associate yourself with women who manipulate you. I am betting it is the latter so props to you on not dating crazy bitches who try and run your life because they hate theirs.
-------------------- Ask me about ARX!!!
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: feifen]
#12684443 - 06/04/10 11:44 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
feifen said: Had a girlfriend for 5 years. Sex wasn't for questions 
In 5 years she never got your ass in bed and said, before getting it on "I need to ask you something"?
How the hell did you pull that off stud?
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,670
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684445 - 06/04/10 11:45 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Oh, and don't act cool, you know it's happened to you before 
It's how all of us end up living in a suburb, married, with two kids and a dog.
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: bootedboy]
#12684454 - 06/04/10 11:46 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Oh man get the fuck out of here, never? Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story 
Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.
.Quote:
bootedboy said:
Quote:
learningtofly said: this has honestly never happened before 
Either you never get any pussy or you don't associate yourself with women who manipulate you. I am betting it is the latter so props to you on not dating crazy bitches who try and run your life because they hate theirs.
We've been dating since january and the longest we've gone without sex is 3 days. She wants it just as much as I do.
--------------------
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Solemente



Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 4,337
Loc:
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684490 - 06/04/10 11:52 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said:
Oh, and don't act cool, you know it's happened to you before 
I know, I so wish I could say this hasn't happened to me before
It's not like women do this all the time, but every now and then
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: koraks] 1
#12684491 - 06/04/10 11:53 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Hahaha Yeah, I had just gotten done being intimate with my girlfriend the other day, when she said, in this soft, serious tone, "When are we getting married?"

She took advantage of the fact that I was 1.) Out of energy and 2.) out of testosterone and 3.) that we just had an intimate moment which puts you in a position of being weak and more susceptible to answering questions.
And of course my dumb ass smiles and says "We'll see, soon I'm sure" instead of what I wanted to say which was "NEVER! God fucking damn it, why the fuck are you so eager to chop my fucking nuts off, HERE, HERE, take this fucking saw blade and just get it over with"
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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feifen

Registered: 10/18/08
Posts: 7,040
Last seen: 13 years, 1 month
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684506 - 06/04/10 11:56 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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She never had to do that. If she had something to say to me she would just say it, we had a very open relationship
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684512 - 06/04/10 11:57 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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OP sounds like u got a shitty girl?
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Razzl3Frazzl3


Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 4,630
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
#12684518 - 06/04/10 11:57 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
learningtofly said:
Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Oh man get the fuck out of here, never? Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story 
Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.
.Quote:
bootedboy said:
Quote:
learningtofly said: this has honestly never happened before 
Either you never get any pussy or you don't associate yourself with women who manipulate you. I am betting it is the latter so props to you on not dating crazy bitches who try and run your life because they hate theirs.
We've been dating since january and the longest we've gone without sex is 3 days. She wants it just as much as I do.
Wait until you live together. I've been asked things, but sex was never part of the equation. Hope she doesn't learn that one!
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
#12684582 - 06/04/10 12:07 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Nah, it's my fault really. I lost control of the situation. When we first started dating 4 years ago, I was 23 and I was still pretty wild.
I was a leather jacket & mohawk, drink copious amounts of liquor and do crazy shit kinda guy, into revolutionary thinking, art, music, alcoholic writer etc. and she was a girly girl. Hot preppy girls are my weakness. So she wasn't really used to my kind of lifestyle and my kind of radical thinking etc.
At first, She'd ask me where I was and what I was doing and I'd say stuff like "Don't ask me about my business, what are you training to be an FBI interrogator?" and I wouldn't say anymore. I came and went as I pleased.
But as time wore on, I became a regular sucker, I admit it. I went from no compromise--my way or the highway, to saying 'yes dear', and I hate myself for it because it's not how I am supposed to be, it's not how I am. I've classically been manipulated by a possessive and controlling woman against all of my better judgment and will. I'm a Grade A sucker.
EDIT: And don't be fooled, it WILL happen to you one day too.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
Edited by Sprezzatura (06/04/10 12:09 PM)
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura] 1
#12684673 - 06/04/10 12:21 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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it just sounds like you went from being an ass to being whipped.
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Razzl3Frazzl3


Registered: 07/31/09
Posts: 4,630
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
#12684720 - 06/04/10 12:27 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
learningtofly said: it just sounds like you went from being an ass to being whipped.
Time to bring the 'hawk back! instead of
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Meat_hod
sick shit



Registered: 09/27/05
Posts: 1,808
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
#12684743 - 06/04/10 12:30 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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This kind of shit only happens in highschool...
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
#12684770 - 06/04/10 12:33 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
learningtofly said: it just sounds like you went from being an ass to being whipped.
Oh dude, "ass" wouldn't be the right word for it, I was an unstoppable force of awesome. You didn't see many punk guys back then banging hot preppy girls. Shit, I played music, I owned a club, I was a show promoter and like a fuckin' rock star back then... now I'm sitting around on christmas eves in a fuckin' sweater talking about theatre productions, new business endeavors, my plans for the future and shit.
You'll fizzle out too, one day... don't worry. If you don't.. hell man, more power to you, I wish you the best with that... keep rockin'.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684799 - 06/04/10 12:37 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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that's just like, your opinion, man.
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: learningtofly]
#12684809 - 06/04/10 12:39 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684841 - 06/04/10 12:43 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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fuckin' A.
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millzy


Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,404
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684864 - 06/04/10 12:46 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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maybe it was just the chloroform but i've never had this happen to me either.
-------------------- I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger
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Snip
aimin' at your head


Registered: 04/03/04
Posts: 351
Loc: Mountains of the Moon
Last seen: 9 years, 10 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12684979 - 06/04/10 01:03 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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She learned the first time I made her sleep outside.
-------------------- cross my heart and hope to die
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Brugman
antisobrietarian



Registered: 05/16/01
Posts: 15,887
Loc: the land up over
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12685020 - 06/04/10 01:10 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Haha, women.
You done got castrated, Sprez.
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millzy


Registered: 05/12/10
Posts: 12,404
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12685055 - 06/04/10 01:15 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said:

-------------------- I'm up to my ears in unwritten words. - J.D. Salinger
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iamu
Sall Growman



Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 2,412
Loc: Ireland
Last seen: 9 years, 19 days
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: millzy]
#12685077 - 06/04/10 01:19 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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yall ever got the "I jsut dont want to have sex if im not going to see you for monthss" lol she literally asked me to start dating while we were gettin ready to do the dirty. and..we didnt do it = ( lol
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: iamu]
#12685101 - 06/04/10 01:25 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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"It's time we had a long boring discussion about our relationship!"
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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learningtofly
Ancient Aliens



Registered: 05/21/07
Posts: 15,105
Loc: Out of this world
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12685204 - 06/04/10 01:44 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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FUCK
--------------------
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niteowl
GrandPaw



Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura] 1
#12685267 - 06/04/10 01:53 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Oh man get the fuck out of here, never? Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story 
Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.
Sorry, that has never happened to me and Im in a 19 year marriage.
Perhaps if you were to answer your girl friends questions when she asks them, she wouldn't have to resort to bribery
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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iamu
Sall Growman



Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 2,412
Loc: Ireland
Last seen: 9 years, 19 days
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: niteowl]
#12685453 - 06/04/10 02:20 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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the voice of reason has spoken
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: niteowl]
#12686277 - 06/04/10 04:05 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Haha, how much did my girlfriend pay you to say that? 
It's hard to answer the types of questions she has, they're so painfully boring... she's not cool at all, she's an immature brat and a preppy and your typical average woman. I'd be all about having a straight up conversation with a woman, but these questions are just nagging bra and they mostly stem out of personal insecurity and lack of confidence.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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claraclairvoyant
well oiled machine



Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12686300 - 06/04/10 04:08 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: ... she's not cool at all, she's an immature brat and a preppy and your typical average woman.
i resent that sir.
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Sprezzatura
Virtuoso


Registered: 10/01/09
Posts: 2,637
Loc: On the Atlantic Ocean
Last seen: 11 years, 4 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: claraclairvoyant]
#12686330 - 06/04/10 04:11 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
claraclairvoyant said:
Quote:
Sprezzatura said: ... she's not cool at all, she's an immature brat and a preppy and your typical average woman.
i resent that sir.
Why do you resent it? I wasn't talking about you.... unless you're my girlfriend.
-------------------- Spectaculorum procedere debet
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sui
I love you.


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,853
Loc: Cali, Contra Costa Co.
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." (moved) [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12686438 - 06/04/10 04:29 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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This thread was moved from The Pub.
Reason: better here.
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Society
Mmmm... pizza



Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,299
Loc:
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: niteowl]
#12686597 - 06/04/10 04:57 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
millzy said: maybe it was just the chloroform but i've never had this happen to me either.
Post chloroform tek?
Quote:
niteowl said:
Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Oh man get the fuck out of here, never? Come on man, someone's not telling the whole story 
Any guy that has been in a long-term relationship has had this happen.
Sorry, that has never happened to me and Im in a 19 year marriage.
Perhaps if you were to answer your girl friends questions when she asks them, she wouldn't have to resort to bribery 
I don't think it has happened to me either.
-------------------- Delicious Pizza
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niteowl
GrandPaw



Registered: 07/01/03
Posts: 16,291
Loc:
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura]
#12687222 - 06/04/10 06:42 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Haha, how much did my girlfriend pay you to say that? 
It's hard to answer the types of questions she has, they're so painfully boring... she's not cool at all, she's an immature brat and a preppy and your typical average woman. I'd be all about having a straight up conversation with a woman, but these questions are just nagging bra and they mostly stem out of personal insecurity and lack of confidence.
You sound like the typical selfish male prick who only has women around for sex.
If you truly cared about her then you would help build her confidence up rather than brushing her off and only keeping her around for a wet hole to stick your dick in
-------------------- Live for the moment you are in nowDon't be bogged down by your pastDon't be afraid of what lies in your future
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deCypher



Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: niteowl] 1
#12687282 - 06/04/10 06:50 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Haha, I used to ask my girlfriend questions after sexually exhausting her. She'd tell me anything.
-------------------- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
 
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Society
Mmmm... pizza



Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,299
Loc:
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: deCypher]
#12687299 - 06/04/10 06:53 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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The only question before sex I've gotten is "do you have a condom?
If no, then skip columns 28 through 31."
I was having sex with an IRS chick.
-------------------- Delicious Pizza
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Floating_In_Space
The dragon Reborn


Registered: 03/02/10
Posts: 131
Loc: So Cal
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: Sprezzatura] 1
#12693960 - 06/05/10 09:33 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sprezzatura said: Yes, no questions! Girlfriends don't ever ask you if you want to fuck, they just know that you do, and most guys, like me, will be up for a good shaggin' at any moment of the day.
This leads to questions not being asked like * Do you want to put it in my ass? * Do you want me to suck your cock? * Hey my girlfriend wants to join is that cool? * And on and on!!!
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Boba JFET
Stranger



Registered: 05/01/10
Posts: 276
Loc: Nebraska
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
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This has also never happened to me. This also sounds like one of those big hints that this is not the right relationship, if she has to bribe you with sex to get a conversation. You should just want to talk. Find a cool girl. This may require not being a prick.
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kaxenti
Changed daily


Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 62
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: deCypher]
#12701480 - 06/07/10 03:14 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cyph3r said: Haha, I used to ask my girlfriend questions after sexually exhausting her. She'd tell me anything. 
You seem like such a horribly confident, arrogant and manipulative guy. I want to be just like you.
Edited by kaxenti (06/07/10 03:22 AM)
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deCypher



Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: kaxenti]
#12702596 - 06/07/10 11:37 AM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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I'm actually pretty nice in person.
-------------------- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
 
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kaxenti
Changed daily


Registered: 06/02/10
Posts: 62
Last seen: 12 years, 8 months
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Re: "Let's have sex! But first, some questions." [Re: deCypher]
#12702833 - 06/07/10 12:38 PM (13 years, 7 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cyph3r said:
I'm actually pretty nice in person.
If that's true, that's even more unfair and I'd just want to be even more like you since it doesn't mean you lose any of the personality traits I already described (at least not in your "online persona"), you just get another positive one.
Anyway, not like I need to be told about life being unfair^^
On-topic - Never happened to me either.
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