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 Northernsoul
Your Reality
Registered: 11/17/01
Posts: 2,290
Loc: Inner Eye
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
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 DEPRESSION THREAD 
#1251844 - 01/27/03 01:30 AM (21 years, 2 months ago) |
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I know a few people have it, but maybe theres more than I can tell. It's such a problem these days, especialy for me.
So if you have it, how does it affect you? How long have you had it? What have you done about it up untill now?
Ive been hospitalised on and off for as long as I can remember. Im 25 years old now and still see it. I try to ignore it but I cant...medication helps but theres so much more to it. Very hard disorder thats for sure.
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When it comes
I'll know, I know
Just take my clothes and leave
And I'll be gone
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 PjS
Jack Of AllDongs
Registered: 12/18/99
Posts: 3,485
Loc: gototheshow dot com
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Alcohol.
Booze.
Cognaq.
Duvel.
Eroistoff.
getting Fucked up.
Grappa.
Hard liquor.
I like to drink.
J?germeister.
Koskenkorva.
L?wenbr?u.
My liver is hurtin'.
No way I did that last night.
Olut.
Pastis.
Queue at the bar.
Really fucking messed up.
Smirnoff.
The Last Call.
Uzo.
Veltliner.
X?
Y?
Z?
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**************
(Ped) Slavery leads to rebellion which leads to liquor store robberies, rap and hip-hop
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Jackal
Well Versed In Etiquette
Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 4,576
Last seen: 8 months, 21 days
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I had it bad about 3 years ago (I'm 24), could have been hospitalised voluntarily but decided against it. I tried every anti-depressant in the book with no effects. It didn't help that I was also very highly strung and would often flip for little or no reason. It wasn't a directed depression, it was more generic 'cos my life was generally shitty. I had no job, no money, no house, no car; nothing to offer my GF who left a well-off lifestyle to be with me + things like a very ill father didn't help either
Things changed when I saw how my depression was starting to rub-off on the people around me. I started to notice that my girlfriend was showing signs of depression. When this happened I knew I had to sort myself out. If you ask people who know me they will say that I'm very generous, and would give my last penny to someone if they needed it. I put my girlfriend before me and sorted myself out for her sake.
I then discovered the power of the mind; after all the drugs and counselling never helped I had to find it within myself. Amazingly I did, it took a while and a very caring and considerate girlfriend but I've beaten it. I took one day at a time, I would wake up in the mornings happy, and not think past the end of the day. To supress them, I had to be aware that I was having gloomy thoughts which isn't always easy. When I caught myself thinking gloomily, I would concentrate on something else to distract me. I didn't get results immediately, but after a while depressing thoughts were easily dismissed.
I rarely get depressed now, even when life is being extra shitty to me. And even if I do get depressed it only lasts a matter of hours.
Depression is different for everyone mind, but it is important that you beat it, I know its a cliche - but life is better!
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Edited by Jackal (01/27/03 01:55 AM)
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LordSenate
One of the Lost
Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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i have a mental imbalance hence a depression roller coaster, as of now im taking Klonopin.mmmm
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Earth_Droid
Stranger
Registered: 04/19/02
Posts: 5,240
Last seen: 17 years, 8 months
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I have obsessive thought sabout the worst possibly scenarios happening, as well as thoughts on torture and pain. It is from the multiple tramautic experiences I have had. Hopefully that will make you feel better as you are not as bad off as me. I am not going into detail, it is embaressing.
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Northernsoul
Your Reality
Registered: 11/17/01
Posts: 2,290
Loc: Inner Eye
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
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Well theres different types of things that can trigger it I think. If you have no home, food, etc...then It's situational stress and depression.
Ive come to consider for myself, a little has to do with depression and mood disorders on my Moms side, my Moms sister killed herself...never was told why she did that (growing up situatuion or just being depressed without a reason??) So is it generic? Could be.
I was also raised during a time when my parents relationship was getting real bad. My parents divorced etc etc....
Stepdad just saw us kids as extra bagage from my Mom, and thus treated us so.
And now as I get older, the addiction cycle is getting more and more prevailant, and I see that as beeing a main factor as to why I can slip up so bad. BUT if didnt have the depression in the first place, I wouldnt "self-medicate"
So many things combine together.....such a cycle. \
I think since this this whole forum has to do with drugs, that depression is probably a huge factor with alot of people and wehy they need to medicate so to speak....not everyone, some.
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When it comes
I'll know, I know
Just take my clothes and leave
And I'll be gone
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LordSenate
One of the Lost
Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Earth_droid dont be embarresed, shit happens in life.. Sometimes it happens to the best of us.. I feel for you, and i hope you can over come your problems.. My best wishes to you, and everyone else that posts in this thread
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CaptBeefheart
Psychonaut
Registered: 01/03/03
Posts: 225
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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I guess there are two types of people who get depression.
The first would be those with a medical problem, some kind of chemical inbalance that only prescribed drugs can help.
The second type of depression is brought on by circumstance. This could be your lifestyle, career,money etc.
I honestly believe that everyone gets depression. It takes me in waves but never lasts more than a few days. Optimism and confidence can be the hardest thing to achieve especially when pesimism is so easy. If your depression is brought on by your circumstances ,you have to try and find a way of reinventing yourself to find confidence. This takes a certain amount of arrogance.
Arrogance is not the negative tool that society makes out. Its the way that you use it that counts. If you are the sort of person that is hurt easily by what people say then arrogance is for you! Through believeing in yourself and avoiding people that make you feel like shit, you have to believe that you are the center of your own universe. I hate to sound like one of those corporation motivational speakers but I do speak from experience.
All you have to do is try to recreate the feeling you had of confidence when you got a job you wanted,realised that a girl you like also likes you. This proves to you that you can and have been happy. Its not impossible.
Then, when you have a grasp of confidence, train yourself to handle rejection.
Don't dwell on the past (there is nothing you can do to change it)
Don't dwell on the future (it hasn't happened yet)
All we have is NOW.
If you are prone to depression, stay the fuck away from Cocaine,Heroin,ecstasy(yes folks!),speed and any chemical that is manufactured . The buzz maybe fine at the time but the effect it has on you for days after, leads to depression. I speak with a decade of experience and I still see my friends going through the suicidal,midweek comedown. Shrooms and weed however, come from nature and should be taken only when you are comfortable with yourself.
I can recommend a book by Jeremy Hayward called 'Sacred world - a guide to shambhala warriorship in daily life'. Don't worry its not a boring/religious read, it will help you deconstruct your thought patterns and help you overcome negativity.
After all, negative opinions of yourself are just an illusion, a virus if you will. We all get them, we just have to learn what to do with them.
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"Real men don't dance, they sit,sweat and curse."
- Bill Hicks
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Jackal
Well Versed In Etiquette
Registered: 10/16/02
Posts: 4,576
Last seen: 8 months, 21 days
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Quote:
when pesimism is so easy
I guess this is related to your mood. If you're generally happy then pessimism maybe difficult.
I get the feeling that this thread doesn't belong here, there are far too many sensible things being said!
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Learyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 34,213
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 11 hours, 46 minutes
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Cheer up Northernsoul.
People love you.
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Mp3 of the month: Sons Of Adam - Feathered Fish
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LordSenate
One of the Lost
Registered: 09/15/02
Posts: 37,093
Loc: First Circle of Hell
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Re: DEPRESSION THREAD [Re: Learyfan]
#1252169 - 01/27/03 04:52 AM (21 years, 2 months ago) |
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For sure..and this thread needs to be bumped, so here it is
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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A very nice post Mr. Beefheart....you're a most welcome addition to OTD 
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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Agreed, that was a great post, the first I have seen from him
5 shrooms
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FreakQlibrium
Son of Uncle Meat
Registered: 06/06/02
Posts: 19,058
Loc: Toronto Canada
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 Re: DEPRESSION THREAD [Re: HB]
#1252368 - 01/27/03 06:26 AM (21 years, 2 months ago) |
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He's good people HB, i've seen a few of his posts the last coupla days
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"Being crazier than a shithouse rat is not sufficient grounds for banishment"
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ShrewDigsby
Toker
Registered: 01/03/03
Posts: 3,108
Loc: Shrewtown somewhere near ...
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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I've had depression (untreated) since I was twelve. If gone untreated you continually act out and never are able to level off or stabelize. I got laid off, couldn't find an equivelant job. I was stupid and started smokin dope regularly w/ this girl. I did E a few times. Then the depression hit me harder than ever before. I have had physical symptoms that I'm still assuming are rooted in the depression. I self medicated w/ xanax for a month, never leaving bed. I've completely closed myself off to everyone and everything. I have been experiencing horrible dizzy spells that have lasted for days on end (the last 8 months). I've had terrible sensations of discomfort in my head. Not in the sense of traditional headaches, but discomfort in the form of being able to physically feel the bones in my face....kind of a pressure feeling. I also continuously found myself clinching my jaw throughout the day and had to remind myself to relax my muscles.I've felt physically detached from my body and the environment around me, making it very hard to talk to and have a conversation w/ anyone. It's been a fuckin nightmare. I've even had small hallucinations on occassion of lights.
You break your arm or physically hurt yourself you go to the hospital and get it fixed...no big deal, you still have your brain.
You break your brain and you're fucked...what else do you have. It's who you are. And w/ psychiatric disorders no one cares about you. You're crazy or fucked in the head or you're lazy or no back bone. It's hard. Sure, you think about suicide all the time...why you don't who knows cuz you've been close a lot.
Well, I'm on lithium now. I'm starting to feel better, thank god. I still don't feel like myself, but maybe I'll be able to find work again and have a life. Problem is what do you say in an interview when someone asks what you've been doin the last 1.5 years...you can't say you've been sick and now you're better b/c no one believes in true psychiatric sickness like they do physical sickness. No one believes you can get better and be better and stay better, except for those who have gone through it of course.
Oh well. So in short, yeah North, I can relate
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Marijuana is a horticultural plant. Hemp is an industrial weed. I believe they were both provided to us by GOD to use and enjoy.
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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I've been terribly depressed and have been dealing with anixety and panic problems for a long time ... so I tried multiple therapists, to no avail ... tried Zoloft, Buspar, etc. ... which made me feel even worse ...
I have almost completely given up hope on ever being able to truly stabilize ... EVERY FUCKING TIME life starts to look up at all, it crashes harder than before ... and people wonder why I'm such a terrible pessimist
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Hamurabi
the babylonianleader..
Registered: 03/31/02
Posts: 2,421
Loc: Greece
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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if you take xtc pills or cocaine stop it immediately! they will increase your depression! stop taking drugs for a while, make positive thoughts and first of all remember something that helped me a lot for any oriblems i had in my life : EVERYTHING IS IN YOUR MIND!!!!
If you'll think that you no longer have depression and you convince yourself you will no longer have depression!
If you are like "oh my god,i have depression,what will i do??!" and get panic and shti then you will have depresion FOREVER! use your mind's power
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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 Re: DEPRESSION THREAD [Re: Hamurabi]
#1252785 - 01/27/03 08:45 AM (21 years, 2 months ago) |
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E can either worsen or depression or make it better ...
When I used to roll, I always got an intense afterglow that would last sometimes up to a full month, and then I'd just be back to baseline, not below ... on top of that, after rolling, I wouldn't have the desire to take more E ...
So for everybody it is different
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CaptBeefheart
Psychonaut
Registered: 01/03/03
Posts: 225
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Hey shrew,
Sounds like your doing a lot better. When you get to a job interview, don't panic about explaining what you have been up to for the past 1.5yrs. Treat it like an oppurtunity for people that have never met you, to know you as the person you want to be. Treat it like an acting role for now and I bet you in a years time, you will actualy be that person you always wanted to be and no one will know any different.
As to your missing 1.5 yrs, make some shit up. Again, society frowns upon liers but there is such a thing as positive liying.Sometimes it is the only thing that makes unsympathetic people(ie employers!) listen to you.
Good luck man.
Thanks you other guys for the compliments, never had a shroom rating before!
I'm just spreading the wisdom of the shroom tis' all.
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"Real men don't dance, they sit,sweat and curse."
- Bill Hicks
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HB
Registered: 04/06/01
Posts: 42,528
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
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Regarding your comment on "positive lying", I agree with your idea behind it ... I wouldn't say lying is ever positive, but there are those who are so ignorant that the only way to even get their attention is to hide aspects of yourself that would automatically discount yourself as even a human being to them.
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CaptBeefheart
Psychonaut
Registered: 01/03/03
Posts: 225
Last seen: 14 years, 8 months
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Re: DEPRESSION THREAD [Re: HB]
#1252959 - 01/27/03 09:43 AM (21 years, 2 months ago) |
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Exactly. Thats what I mean by Positive lying (c) Lol.....have that one Mckenna!
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"Real men don't dance, they sit,sweat and curse."
- Bill Hicks
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Anonymous #1
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Problem is what do you say in an interview when someone asks what you've been doin the last 1.5 years...
One thing that I've done in the past that has worked is say that I have been working someplace and that I don't want the interviewer to contact my current employer because I don't want it to jeopardise my job there. I mean if I was workng for a private organisation where the employer was a bit of a control freak, I would do that anyway.
I have been depressed before and I would recommend a book called 'Learned Optimism' by Martin Seligman. This book got me out of depression, and helped with crap situations which happened after I was OK again, that I might have otherwise got depressed over. It teaches strategies for challenging negative thoughts which precede negative mood. To do it you have to believe that you have all sorts of experiences and that the black and white thinking you have when you are depressed is not necessarily true. That is, you've probably been in a number of situations where it is not true, and it doesn't have to be that way in the future etc. It says not continuing to think the thoughts after challenging them and distraction from the thoughts is important (which is interesting given what Jackal did). NB. hard though if you don't challenge them. Another one which is good apparently which teaches similar stuff is 'beating the blues' but I haven't read it.
I reckon drugs are OK if you are severely depressed. Though I reckon psych treatments are important because you are less likely to relapse. I know this because I have a background in psychology.
By the way CB, the notion of a purely biological depression is pretty much discredited these days. More often than not there is a psych cause, though genetics influence your biology in relation to whether biological factors help maintain the depression. You can influence your biology with your psychology however.
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Anonymous #1
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It took me a while to realize I was actually depressed. At first I held onto the feeling and wanted to examine it. Since I gave it more power it has totally taken over my life. Do most people get depressed for only a couple days and then it passes? I've been withering in denial for about 7 months now. I will post in detail about whats going on with me later, but i just want to say what a great idea for a forum. Being depressed makes you feel very alone, and theres no better place i'd rather share my experience then with fellow shroomerites.
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Druginduced
Stranger
Registered: 01/12/03
Posts: 5,139
Last seen: 16 years, 8 months
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Post deleted by Administrator [Re: ]
#1333746 - 02/25/03 06:55 AM (21 years, 1 month ago) |
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PsillyTheSeaGull
ayatollah ofrocknrolla
Registered: 10/22/02
Posts: 26
Last seen: 20 years, 26 days
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false hope is better than no hope at all [Re: Druginduced]
#1339080 - 02/26/03 10:45 PM (21 years, 1 month ago) |
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sleeping all day has been a great option out of the misery hole Ive dug myself, reality seems oppressive ... self medicating finally stopped working and Now I simply wait for it to pass. ... Negativity can so easily consume me at this stage...i simply forget to accentuate the positive. ... It will get better though..just have to keep moving onward through the fog
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Fliquid
Back from being gone.
Registered: 03/18/02
Posts: 6,953
Loc: omotive
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
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You are great! Are you for hire? 
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 My latest music! 
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Northernsoul
Your Reality
Registered: 11/17/01
Posts: 2,290
Loc: Inner Eye
Last seen: 13 years, 4 months
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Re: false hope is better than no hope at all [Re: PsillyTheSeaGull]
#1340378 - 02/27/03 10:06 AM (21 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeah, screw Dr.Phil..
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When it comes
I'll know, I know
Just take my clothes and leave
And I'll be gone
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