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InvisibleMOTH
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Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever?
    #12354150 - 04/08/10 09:47 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I'd like to hear if there has been a particular experience in your life which has been a major catalyst for you, changed you at the core in a way that can never be reversed. 

I have one.  I saw a guy kill himself while tripping on mushrooms.  It changed everything for me.  I kept trying to convince myself that it didn't change me.  But yep.  It did.  It happened 3 years ago, and I still remember it like it is fresh. 

It's like...there's my life BEFORE that happened, and my life AFTER. 

After ~ I realized I have become hard inside.  Shielded.  Like all naivety is gone.  Instead I'm toughened and I feel unafraid of taking risks.  I feel willing to fight.  Cynical about life and feeling like death is no big deal.  Wanting to live each moment to the fullest. Like I'm revving at a high gear, all the time, just cranked up, constant furious intensity. 

Does anyone have a moving experience that was a major catalyst for them?

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InvisiblePolk_Audio3
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12354184 - 04/08/10 09:55 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I was dealing drugs for almost 2 years just dealing pot an beans aka X. I started getting money getting big people started to realize I was moving up. long story short I was walking down the road an a car stopped 4 niggers jump out with guns.

one guy hits me with the butt of the gun knocking me out. All at the same time my girlfriend which I love was watching they ended up getting my shoes my hat my 14k necklace $480 dollars cash some xanax scales an a oz of weed.

This happen in November of 09 an from that point on my life has changed I no longer do cocaine I don't deal drugs yea I smoked pot an eat mushrooms an xanax like there candy but thats a how different story an it ALL MINE.

Me being robbed back in mid November sent me a message to stop what I was doing a become a better man of myself an take care of my girlfriend an for us to have a great life.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Polk_Audio3]
    #12354200 - 04/08/10 09:57 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Wow, that does sound intense.  I can see how that experience would be life-changing.  Thanks for sharing.

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12354215 - 04/08/10 09:59 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:
I'd like to hear if there has been a particular experience in your life which has been a major catalyst for you, changed you at the core in a way that can never be reversed. 

I have one.  I saw a guy kill himself while tripping on mushrooms.  It changed everything for me.  I kept trying to convince myself that it didn't change me.  But yep.  It did.  It happened 3 years ago, and I still remember it like it is fresh. 

It's like...there's my life BEFORE that happened, and my life AFTER. 

After ~ I realized I have become hard inside.  Shielded.  Like all naivety is gone.  Instead I'm toughened and I feel unafraid of taking risks.  I feel willing to fight.  Cynical about life and feeling like death is no big deal.  Wanting to live each moment to the fullest. Like I'm revving at a high gear, all the time, just cranked up, constant furious intensity. 

Does anyone have a moving experience that was a major catalyst for them?




Fucking awesome!  Overdosing on heroin and going unconscious for thirty minutes seemed to have created a similar effect with me.  I honestly don't give a fuck now, and it feels OH so good.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12354222 - 04/08/10 09:59 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

The night before last night I had a horrific seizure.
I had been about 3 days off alcohol and having DT's already and got the bright idea to drop some cid.
I dont think Ill ever be eating synthetic drugs(especially acid) OR alcohol again. If I do do it again it WONT be that foreign stuff on the trippy oversized blotters thats been double dipped...just the US wow or liquid)

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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher]
    #12354226 - 04/08/10 10:00 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Do you still use heroin?  Or was it that one experience overdosing that you feel has changed you?

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12354232 - 04/08/10 10:01 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:
Do you still use heroin?  Or was it that one experience overdosing that you feel has changed you?




Well I overdosed on my 21st birthday.  I feel like I won't touch opiates again at least for another year, but yes, realizing that I had basically died and come back has permanently changed me.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Offlinemantis90
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MisterMuscaria]
    #12354233 - 04/08/10 10:01 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

First LSD trip almost 3 years ago...still trying to figure it out lol

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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher]
    #12354239 - 04/08/10 10:03 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I had an NDE once that blew all my preconceived notions about life out of the water

I have done DMT, and it wasn't the same...

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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher]
    #12354244 - 04/08/10 10:04 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

That is wild and I'm glad to hear that the change set in.  Some experiences can be incredibly powerful.  I have never had a near death experience of my own like that.  Glad you're alive to tell about it.

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: morrowasted]
    #12354245 - 04/08/10 10:04 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Word.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MisterMuscaria]
    #12354249 - 04/08/10 10:05 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MisterMuscaria said:
The night before last night I had a horrific seizure.
I had been about 3 days off alcohol and having DT's already and got the bright idea to drop some cid.
I dont think Ill ever be eating synthetic drugs(especially acid) OR alcohol again. If I do do it again it WONT be that foreign stuff on the trippy oversized blotters thats been double dipped...just the US wow or liquid)




Yikes...yeah, that's a wake up call if I've ever heard one.  Are you sure it was acid?  Can you describe the seizure experience you had?

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Invisiblegzuf
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher] * 1
    #12354254 - 04/08/10 10:06 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I think the first experience with death is probably one thing that changes everybody forever.


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+1 Post ٩(̾๏̮̮̃̾๏̃̾)۶


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Offlinefapjack
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12354257 - 04/08/10 10:07 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Going to my first festival in 06 changed me for life in a good way.  Seeing so many positive people and listening to so much good music, its really a beautiful place.  I'm sure their were negative occurances that made me more jaded, I have had a lot of terrible things happen, mostly because of my own stupidity though.  I try to let the positive change me more than the negative, as shit happens.


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: fapjack]
    #12354280 - 04/08/10 10:10 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

gzuf said:
I think the first experience with death is probably one thing that changes everybody forever.




True enough.  I also felt more world-weary and experienced seeing my grandfather die of Alzheimers.  Not pretty. 

Quote:

fapjack said:
Going to my first festival in 06 changed me for life in a good way.  Seeing so many positive people and listening to so much good music, its really a beautiful place.  I'm sure their were negative occurances that made me more jaded, I have had a lot of terrible things happen, mostly because of my own stupidity though.  I try to let the positive change me more than the negative, as shit happens.




That is incredibly insightful.  Thank you.  I have definitely had more positive things in life happen to me, but for some reason, my mind really gets wrapped up about certain major traumatic experiences I've had and uses those experiences as a launching pad for greater personal evolution.  But I have had a few really golden moments that I remember with clarity too.

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12354284 - 04/08/10 10:11 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Growing up with a mentally disabled sister was also pretty fuckin' life changing.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher]
    #12354302 - 04/08/10 10:14 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I would imagine so, for everyone in the family.  Are you older or younger then she is?

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12354305 - 04/08/10 10:15 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I'm three years older.  My parents were pretty affected too.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Invisiblestereolab
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: morrowasted]
    #12354327 - 04/08/10 10:18 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

morrowasted said:
I had an NDE once that blew all my preconceived notions about life out of the water




Same here actually.  It was more like a few weeks of pure lunacy and paranoia in which I ended up in a mental hospital after almost dying, rather than an actual NDE, but coming out of that (triggered by not getting sleep for weeks, ot drugs), really gave me an altered perspective and a lot of gratitude.

Plus about half of my trips have changed at least SOMETHING about me, some drastically, some subtly, but all for the better. :cool:


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Space is
the Place
:aum:

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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: stereolab]
    #12354335 - 04/08/10 10:20 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

That's true...in my opinion you can't take a psychedelic and expect to be exactly the same afterward.  In fact that's what makes them so enticing to begin with.

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Offlinemongo lloyd
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: stereolab]
    #12354374 - 04/08/10 10:26 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I don't actually think I've had one specific experience that's changed my life drastically. More like lots of little ones that built the person I am now.

Amazing stories, y'all.


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Invisiblestereolab
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: mongo lloyd]
    #12354439 - 04/08/10 10:38 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

mongo lloyd said:
I don't actually think I've had one specific experience that's changed my life drastically. More like lots of little ones that built the person I am now.

Amazing stories, y'all.



Yeah, same here.  I feel like I change slightly just on a day-to-day basis, but of course some days or experiences are more paramount than others.


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Space is
the Place
:aum:

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InvisibleRazzl3Frazzl3
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12354592 - 04/08/10 11:07 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I know this isnt exactly what the OP meant, but it did change my life for the better.

Meeting my gf. I'm the type that doesnt need many friends or loved ones, but i couldnt imagine life without her now.

I lived for years, doing what i wanted, when i wanted, job hopping because i had no stability. Now i've been at this GREAT job since Jan 08, and we've been living together since June 08 now.

Ive got more stability, more sense of self, and most importantly, im not the selfish boy i once was. I now consider myself a MAN, and wouldnt trade any stress or worry for an "easy" life again.

I've cleaned up my license, after years of using PrePaid Legal to drive like a madman.

I've started tripping again afte rmany years, and i learn more about myself everyday.

I dont feel a need to self medicate, and can get high for the fun of it again.

Thanks for the thread, just seeing this in print reconfirms all the good im doing with my life. I have good days, and i have bad days (chemical imbalances :thumbdown: ) but i enjoy each day to the fullest.

I see :sun: days in my future, filled with my wife, our kids, our cat, our mush, our growops, adn all we've ever wanted. Settling down in WY near Yellowstone, sunbathing while she writes and i do manly forest-y type things!!!

Good luck everyone in all paths of life.

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Offlinefapjack
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12354634 - 04/08/10 11:14 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I dunno why, but I'm really good at not harping on shit.  Being able to say fuck it has its ups and downs though, you end up getting yourself into some shit sometimes when you don't take life seriously.


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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: fapjack]
    #12354639 - 04/08/10 11:14 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I don't give a fuck.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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OfflineFedorEmelianenko
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: fapjack] * 1
    #12354672 - 04/08/10 11:19 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

when i was about 6-7 ( i did not know how to swim yet ) i got out of the kiddies 2 foot pool and went to "swim" in a 6 feet + deep pool , there was noone around so i jumped . :laugh:  i quickly realized i could not swim and was drowning :huxleyfacepalm: a few minutes go by and this guy out of nowhere sees me ! and rescues me :heart:

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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Razzl3Frazzl3]
    #12354699 - 04/08/10 11:24 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

i have a few.

all experiences that put me on a path to where/who i am at this very moment.  all very "me" before and "me" after........

summer of 2001, really intense almost 24 hour lsd trip with my best friend.  led me to take the tao te ching off my bookshelf the following day.  dusted it off, and read it in 30 minutes sitting at a coffee shop in my neighborhood.  i will NEVER be able to forget OR explain how i felt afterward.  :psychsplit::yinyang2:

there's more but i don't have time right now..........


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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: yogabunny]
    #12354709 - 04/08/10 11:25 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Ever read A Million Little Pieces?  The author writes some cool passages about the Tao te Ching.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Offlinetwighead
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher]
    #12354741 - 04/08/10 11:31 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Every single trip I take :shrug:


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¿Check out some art m8?


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InvisibleyogabunnyM
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher] * 1
    #12354744 - 04/08/10 11:32 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

yah

i like that the message of the Tao reached so many through that book that might have never known or cared.  (it being in the Oprah book club and all)


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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: yogabunny]
    #12354750 - 04/08/10 11:33 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

:lol: you're part of the Oprah book club


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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OfflineThe24HourMC
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher] * 1
    #12354801 - 04/08/10 11:47 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

for some reason Final Fantasy VII


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My Baby In MCLA


Fuckin Shit

Fuck that stay high

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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12355771 - 04/08/10 02:15 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever?




Birth.


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You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: luvdemshrooms]
    #12355779 - 04/08/10 02:16 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

There was no you before birth, dummy.


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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OfflineNewbieS
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12355919 - 04/08/10 02:40 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I accidentally outed my Dad [homosexuality] to my mom the same night I found it out, and she went insane and killed herself a few weeks later (at least that's what I believe happened).  This happened when I was 17 and I've been looking at life from a new perspective ever since.  Having everything you've known for 17 years since birth turned completely upside down just does something to a guy.

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InvisibleIrishdrunk
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12355950 - 04/08/10 03:22 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:
I'd like to hear if there has been a particular experience in your life which has been a major catalyst for you, changed you at the core in a way that can never be reversed. 

I have one.  I saw a guy kill himself while tripping on mushrooms.  It changed everything for me.  I kept trying to convince myself that it didn't change me.  But yep.  It did.  It happened 3 years ago, and I still remember it like it is fresh. 

It's like...there's my life BEFORE that happened, and my life AFTER. 

After ~ I realized I have become hard inside.  Shielded.  Like all naivety is gone.  Instead I'm toughened and I feel unafraid of taking risks.  I feel willing to fight.  Cynical about life and feeling like death is no big deal.  Wanting to live each moment to the fullest. Like I'm revving at a high gear, all the time, just cranked up, constant furious intensity. 

Does anyone have a moving experience that was a major catalyst for them?





Was it at a shroomery gathering?


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:awesome:

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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher]
    #12356154 - 04/08/10 03:53 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Mr. Cypher said:
There was no you before birth, dummy.




Dummy? You clearly forgot the gestation period.

Or do you just assume I came into existence with a thunderclap and a flash of light?

Before you call someone a dummy you should be sure you're not being one yourself.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers

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OfflineFedorEmelianenko
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Newbie] * 1
    #12356188 - 04/08/10 03:59 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Newbie said:
I accidentally outed my Dad [homosexuality] to my mom the same night I found it out, and she went insane and killed herself a few weeks later (at least that's what I believe happened).  This happened when I was 17 and I've been looking at life from a new perspective ever since.  Having everything you've known for 17 years since birth turned completely upside down just does something to a guy.





why would you tell your mother ? what good could come out of it?

just let your dad be himself and tell her when he is ready :huxleyfacepalm:

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InvisibledeCypher
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Newbie]
    #12356195 - 04/08/10 04:00 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Newbie said:
I accidentally outed my Dad [homosexuality] to my mom the same night I found it out, and she went insane and killed herself a few weeks later (at least that's what I believe happened).  This happened when I was 17 and I've been looking at life from a new perspective ever since.  Having everything you've known for 17 years since birth turned completely upside down just does something to a guy.




Sounds intense brah.


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: FedorEmelianenko]
    #12356232 - 04/08/10 04:06 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

FedorEmelianenko said:
Quote:

Newbie said:
I accidentally outed my Dad [homosexuality] to my mom the same night I found it out, and she went insane and killed herself a few weeks later (at least that's what I believe happened).  This happened when I was 17 and I've been looking at life from a new perspective ever since.  Having everything you've known for 17 years since birth turned completely upside down just does something to a guy.





why would you tell your mother ? what good could come out of it?

just let your dad be himself and tell her when he is ready :huxleyfacepalm:




It's a long story but I thought she already knew and was hiding it from my brother and I.  My mom was one of those like on Malcolm in the Middle.  Nothing got past her, ever.  She knew my plans before I even had them in my head, EVERY SINGLE TIME, so how could she NOT know her own husband of 16 years was gay? 

I mean all the signs were there:

Huge Cher fan, loved Trading Spaces, subscribed to STAR magazine, watched The Nanny, never looked at or commented on other women (to me), he just didn't act like any of the other Dad's I knew at the time. (He still gave us a great childhood and all, don't get me wrong)...  There were just so many things going through my head and as a stubborn 17 year old kid I acted before I thought.  Hell, the first thing she said once SHE found out was, "Well that definitely explains a LOT" 

I've always supported him 100% but it just painted a completely different picture for me after I found out.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Razzl3Frazzl3] * 1
    #12356242 - 04/08/10 04:08 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

SquaReSaltine said:
I know this isnt exactly what the OP meant, but it did change my life for the better.

Meeting my gf. I'm the type that doesnt need many friends or loved ones, but i couldnt imagine life without her now.

I lived for years, doing what i wanted, when i wanted, job hopping because i had no stability. Now i've been at this GREAT job since Jan 08, and we've been living together since June 08 now.

Ive got more stability, more sense of self, and most importantly, im not the selfish boy i once was. I now consider myself a MAN, and wouldnt trade any stress or worry for an "easy" life again.

I've cleaned up my license, after years of using PrePaid Legal to drive like a madman.

I've started tripping again afte rmany years, and i learn more about myself everyday.

I dont feel a need to self medicate, and can get high for the fun of it again.

Thanks for the thread, just seeing this in print reconfirms all the good im doing with my life. I have good days, and i have bad days (chemical imbalances :thumbdown: ) but i enjoy each day to the fullest.

I see :sun: days in my future, filled with my wife, our kids, our cat, our mush, our growops, adn all we've ever wanted. Settling down in WY near Yellowstone, sunbathing while she writes and i do manly forest-y type things!!!

Good luck everyone in all paths of life.



This is a cool testimony.:thumbup:
Best wishes to you brodder.


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I've come to believe that the heart is the filter of the enlightened mind. Epilson Lyrae

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Epilson Lyrae]
    #12356306 - 04/08/10 04:16 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Life changing experience? Do you mean aside from the obvious? :mushroom2: :awebig:

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher]
    #12356846 - 04/08/10 05:43 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Mr. Cypher said:
:lol: you're part of the Oprah book club





if reading the book makes me part of the oprah book club, then so are you apparently!!!!


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: yogabunny]
    #12356864 - 04/08/10 05:46 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I read the Tao te Ching before I read A Million Little Pieces... :tongue2:


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: deCypher]
    #12356894 - 04/08/10 05:52 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

do you want a trophy??


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: yogabunny]
    #12356904 - 04/08/10 05:54 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

:rofl:


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12357035 - 04/08/10 06:18 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

An ex and I were visiting with her parents for a few days, I got up first the last day we were going to be there and found her dad on his own kitchen floor cold and dead from a massive heart attack.  He was 52 years old, I was 21 at the time.  It was my first face-to-face with mortality.  I had just hung out with him the night before.  We got along well.  I usually do get along with parents.

I'm still not sure how I feel about that.  I'm still putting together notions and ideas about life/death, etc, and that definitely had a huge impact on me.  A huge catalyst, if you will, that got the cogs turning..

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: idiotek] * 1
    #12357061 - 04/08/10 06:21 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Seeing a real dead body in general did it for me.  It kind of turns a switch on in your head that never goes back off, it's an immediate reminder/example of mortality.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Newbie]
    #12357140 - 04/08/10 06:33 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Newbie said:
Seeing a real dead body in general did it for me.  It kind of turns a switch on in your head that never goes back off, it's an immediate reminder/example of mortality.



watched my grandfather breathe his last breath in a hospice.  Glad I saw him go and consider it an honor to have been in his presence.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12357148 - 04/08/10 06:33 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

when i was 20 or so i had a girlfriend die.

i think its a normal part of growing up, but before that i had absolute confidence in my own greatness and in the higher powers of good in the world.  after that i started realizing i'm pretty much a piece of shit, and that if there are gods of goodness, they interfere in our lives rarely.

again, i think its a normal part of growing up, but i've never loved anyone like that since.



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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: truekimbo2]
    #12357151 - 04/08/10 06:34 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

You are a beautiful and unique snowflake kimbo.


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: PreparationH]
    #12357154 - 04/08/10 06:34 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

On a more positive note, my three month stay in Hawaii was definitely life changing, although I'd like to think at some point I could go back for a much longer stay.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH] * 1
    #12357851 - 04/08/10 08:24 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I came out to my GF of 6 years at the time that I was gay.This happened while I was on some really good acid. That may be why I was able to tell her. It was about 3 in the morning. That was quite a trip in more ways than one. I started telling everyone after that night that I was gay. I was about 28 yo. Definitely life changing. There are more stories but this one came to mind after reading some of the responses.


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: tyrannicalrex]
    #12357901 - 04/08/10 08:31 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I'm not coming out of the closet until I have something fabulous to wear!


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Epilson Lyrae]
    #12357942 - 04/08/10 08:35 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Your mood isn't set to fabulous.  :nono:


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12358356 - 04/08/10 09:37 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I've had SIX life-changing experiences...

1) Discovering the wonders and beauty of Cubensis. (1981)

2) A 400ug LSD trip. (1985)

3) LOVE (in all forms and in all-encompassing saturation). (1976), (1984-1987), (1994) and presently.

4) Losing my right foot in a tragic motorcycle accident (the most significant and permanent, and a NDE). (1986)

5) Experiencing the deaths of my parents. (Dad 2004 and Mom 2008)

6) Ecstasy, (probably the most awesome drug I've ever done). (2006)


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I'll probably always do drugs, so that just contributes to the addiction to The Shroomery... It's a vicious circle of bliss. :tongue2:

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: TM]
    #12358402 - 04/08/10 09:45 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I forgot to mention ecstasy also.:grin:


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: truekimbo2]
    #12358778 - 04/08/10 10:40 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Newbie said:
I accidentally outed my Dad [homosexuality] to my mom the same night I found it out, and she went insane and killed herself a few weeks later (at least that's what I believe happened).  This happened when I was 17 and I've been looking at life from a new perspective ever since.  Having everything you've known for 17 years since birth turned completely upside down just does something to a guy.




Wow, Newbie...how is your relationship with your dad now?  How did he handle your mom's suicide?  Wow, only 17...that's rough. 


Quote:

1d10t3k said:
An ex and I were visiting with her parents for a few days, I got up first the last day we were going to be there and found her dad on his own kitchen floor cold and dead from a massive heart attack.  He was 52 years old, I was 21 at the time.  It was my first face-to-face with mortality.  I had just hung out with him the night before.  We got along well.  I usually do get along with parents.

I'm still not sure how I feel about that.  I'm still putting together notions and ideas about life/death, etc, and that definitely had a huge impact on me.  A huge catalyst, if you will, that got the cogs turning..




Yep.  Coming face to face with death certainly adds a sense of perspective one didn't have prior. 

Quote:

truekimbo2 said:
when i was 20 or so i had a girlfriend die.

i think its a normal part of growing up, but before that i had absolute confidence in my own greatness and in the higher powers of good in the world.  after that i started realizing i'm pretty much a piece of shit, and that if there are gods of goodness, they interfere in our lives rarely.

again, i think its a normal part of growing up, but i've never loved anyone like that since.






That's so tragic.  I assume that's her in the photo.  Beautiful.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: TM]
    #12358793 - 04/08/10 10:43 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

tyrannicalrex said:
I came out to my GF of 6 years at the time that I was gay.This happened while I was on some really good acid. That may be why I was able to tell her. It was about 3 in the morning. That was quite a trip in more ways than one. I started telling everyone after that night that I was gay. I was about 28 yo. Definitely life changing. There are more stories but this one came to mind after reading some of the responses.




Good for you.  What a trip that must have been, ha.  :thumbup:

Quote:

TM said:


4) Losing my right foot in a tragic motorcycle accident (the most significant and permanent, and a NDE). (1986)






Yeah, existence would never be the same after something like that.  I can't imagine not having two feet.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12358829 - 04/08/10 10:48 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Yes, you can. You can ONLY imagine it.


--------------------
================================================



"Have some congratulatory drugs." - C. Montgomery Burns

I'll probably always do drugs, so that just contributes to the addiction to The Shroomery... It's a vicious circle of bliss. :tongue2:

TM™ :cool:

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: TM]
    #12358874 - 04/08/10 10:57 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Did your lifestyle change significantly?  I know you still ride motorcycles, but what about working out?

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12359063 - 04/08/10 11:36 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Since the amputation was a traumatic one, it left me with a much less than optimal stump. This causes problems with endurance in walking and standing.

Also, I cannot properly fit my prosthesis upon waking from sleep on a regular basis.

My upper body is pretty well fit, although I need to work on my ab's a bit more. (The "situation" isn't there. :lol:)

I have to hop to the bath tub and sit on stool (using a hand-held shower head).

Spontaneity is SEVERELY hampered (I can't just strip and go skinny-dipping so easily).

I can never again take a staircase 2 steps at a time, nor can I glide my way down one in seconds either.

I can't jump as high (nowhere NEAR) and can't reach quite as high without losing my balance.

I used to be able to swim like a fish, but that's only a dream now. And using two flippers is out of the question.

There's definitely nothing positive about the injury, other than to show new amputees that their life is far from over.

In the 24 years since the accident, my sex life has actually improved (as it probably would have anyway), but I'm pleased that the amputation has had no affect.


--------------------
================================================



"Have some congratulatory drugs." - C. Montgomery Burns

I'll probably always do drugs, so that just contributes to the addiction to The Shroomery... It's a vicious circle of bliss. :tongue2:

TM™ :cool:

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12359185 - 04/09/10 12:00 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I've thought along similar ideas before. Sometimes you can see it in my eyes; that irrevocably altered, absolutely humbled from the universe look that stares out from deep within my soul-windows. I always get this feeling like I'm viewing and experiencing reality in a radical way different from most... and who can say when it all started or where it will end?

I feel like I'm constantly growing, changing, shedding skin, being altered again. The universe raises me just so I can learn from inevitably being lowered.

A few examples where I was changed at the core:
First mushroom trip, or collective psychedelic experimenting
First few epic music festivals.
The first time someone I loved died.
When survival became one of my only friends. (self-sufficiency)
Opening my heart up to love someone unconditionally


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12359248 - 04/09/10 12:13 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:
I'd like to hear if there has been a particular experience in your life which has been a major catalyst for you, changed you at the core in a way that can never be reversed. 




I've had several. Egoloss through psychedelics definitely pryed my mind wide open and it never closed again. Since, those initial experiences i have always celebrated my eccentricenties and really become "myself."

Being a very addicted to drugs was a very important experience. It definitely stripped away the naivity of being a youth, and forced me to have a sense of humour towards the mistakes i've made + also laid a framework of how to systematically overcome the most wildly difficult things imaginable in my life at that time. Everything is peaches when you've been living in a pile of shit for so long, you know?

Cycling in South america for 4 months really helped me prove to myself that my limits are ... self imposed.

All 3 of these experiences have made me feel like this:

Quote:

I realized I have become hard inside.  Shielded.  Like all naivety is gone.  Instead I'm toughened and I feel unafraid of taking risks.  I feel willing to fight.  Cynical about life and feeling like death is no big deal.  Wanting to live each moment to the fullest. Like I'm revving at a high gear, all the time, just cranked up, constant furious intensity.


 

well said.


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: PDU]
    #12359415 - 04/09/10 12:52 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

My sister and I cleaned our mother's blood spray and spillage from our baby brother's room. Our biological dad beat her, it was a gruesome scene. We got the job finished, carpet cleaners did the rest. She was in IT for a few weeks and made it through. Her spleen was severed, head and face took a few months to get somewhat normal, but she survived. Little brother has no recollection of anything, sister is all but dead.

That changed my life forever.

I got therapy from MDMA, good friends and an adopted family, and most of all KRAFTWERK, "Computer Love"

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: transkei]
    #12359505 - 04/09/10 01:09 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Yikes...

Every time I'm on MDMA or a psychedelic now, I find myself compelled to think about what I've experienced and I attempt to come to terms with it.  It's a huge help. 

Edited by MOTH (04/09/10 01:09 AM)

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: PDU]
    #12359523 - 04/09/10 01:12 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

PDU said:
Quote:

MOTH said:
I'd like to hear if there has been a particular experience in your life which has been a major catalyst for you, changed you at the core in a way that can never be reversed. 




I've had several. Egoloss through psychedelics definitely pryed my mind wide open and it never closed again. Since, those initial experiences i have always celebrated my eccentricenties and really become "myself."

Being a very addicted to drugs was a very important experience. It definitely stripped away the naivity of being a youth, and forced me to have a sense of humour towards the mistakes i've made + also laid a framework of how to systematically overcome the most wildly difficult things imaginable in my life at that time. Everything is peaches when you've been living in a pile of shit for so long, you know?

Cycling in South america for 4 months really helped me prove to myself that my limits are ... self imposed.






I was so impressed by your South American journey and seeing the pictures as you chronicled your trip.  I could see the character building right before my very eyes.  I hope to do similar one day.

It seems like only intense physical or insomniac creative activity makes me feel awesome.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12359536 - 04/09/10 01:14 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I think that drug use in general has changed my life forever.


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Poid]
    #12359564 - 04/09/10 01:19 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

when i was robbed at gun point by three niggers for a lb. that changed everything because i couldn't believe it would ever happen to me. its like the things you see in the movies and don't think it will ever happen to you. i was in shock the whole time the barrel was against my chest. i wasn't scared i didn't know what was going through my head besides i cant believe this is happening right now. when they took me out of the car they asked for my wallet and cell phone, i said fuck you and started walking the other way. then i hear them cock the gun and i just keep walking thinking fuck if your gonna shoot me then just shoot me, but they didn't. they got back in the car and sped off.


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: NoHum]
    #12359600 - 04/09/10 01:26 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

You're lucky they didn't shoot you--a friend of mine got robbed at gunpoint by some black guy while high on acid once. He is only 18.


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Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Poid]
    #12359612 - 04/09/10 01:28 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

yea it was deff a life changing experience. i was just so pissed and confused that i didnt care i guess. now looking back im thinking i should of ran.


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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: NoHum]
    #12359626 - 04/09/10 01:30 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Was it night or day? Where were you when it happened?


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Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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OfflineNoHum
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Poid]
    #12359630 - 04/09/10 01:32 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

it was night and my bros friend set up the deal. we were two blocks away from his house.


--------------------
Larry aint shit without Curly and Moe.

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InvisiblePoid
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: NoHum]
    #12359697 - 04/09/10 01:45 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Your bro, as in your friend, or your brother?


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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OfflineNoHum
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Poid]
    #12359712 - 04/09/10 01:49 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

brother.


--------------------
Larry aint shit without Curly and Moe.

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InvisiblePoid
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: NoHum]
    #12359724 - 04/09/10 01:52 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Did you get him back for setting you up?


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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OfflineNoHum
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Poid]
    #12359736 - 04/09/10 01:55 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

he claims he didnt know that it was going to happen. every time i see him i start talking shit to him and calling him out saying he owes me money. ive seen him 4 times since this happened and every time i stop what im doing just to talk shit to him and let him know he's a piece of shit and something is going to happen.


--------------------
Larry aint shit without Curly and Moe.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: NoHum]
    #12359747 - 04/09/10 01:58 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I'd slash his tires, let him know I mean business. :stoned:


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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OfflineNoHum
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Poid]
    #12359752 - 04/09/10 01:59 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

yup i should do it. but i believe karma is a bitch and he will get what he has coming to him, if you know what i mean.


--------------------
Larry aint shit without Curly and Moe.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: NoHum]
    #12359796 - 04/09/10 02:10 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I don't believe in karma.


--------------------
Well I try my best to be just like I am, but everybody wants you to be just like them. --  Bob Dylan
fireworks_god said:
It's one thing to simply enjoy a style of life that one enjoys, but it's another thing altogether to refer to another person's choice as "wrong" or to rationalize their behavior as being pathological or resulting from some sort of inadequacy or failing so as to create a sense of superiority or separation as yet another projection of a personal fear or control issue.

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OfflineNoHum
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Poid]
    #12359799 - 04/09/10 02:11 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

i do. i seen it happen the night i got robbed.


--------------------
Larry aint shit without Curly and Moe.

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OfflinePDU
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12359816 - 04/09/10 02:24 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:
It seems like only intense physical or insomniac creative activity makes me feel awesome.




Totally.

Good thread.


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.

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OfflinePDU
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: PDU]
    #12359837 - 04/09/10 02:42 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Just read the whole thread, and i have 3 more to add:

-Having everything i worked very hard to obtain (life savings of a 17 y/o coke dealer) stolen from me really helped me become unattached from my possessions. That experience taught me to look inside my heart for happiness. Although it took me nearly 6 years to finally come to a place where my possessions mean very little to me.

-going to my first music festival (electronic) blew my mind. I've been spending my summers hitting up radical festivals for the 7 years since that first festival. My life is all the better because of it.

-watching my grandfather lose a 10 year battle with alzheimers and parkinsons. Seeing his corpse really made me feel mortal for the first time. Then the next year nursing my 53 y/o gramma to death over about 9 months after she was suddenly diagnosed with cancer. + doing the same for my great grandma around the same time - i was very accepting of death by the time i was 12...


--------------------
GO OUTSIDE.

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InvisibleRazzl3Frazzl3
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Epilson Lyrae]
    #12360343 - 04/09/10 06:21 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

gngsteroflove said:
Quote:

SquaReSaltine said:
I know this isnt exactly what the OP meant, but it did change my life for the better.

Meeting my gf. I'm the type that doesnt need many friends or loved ones, but i couldnt imagine life without her now.

I lived for years, doing what i wanted, when i wanted, job hopping because i had no stability. Now i've been at this GREAT job since Jan 08, and we've been living together since June 08 now.

Ive got more stability, more sense of self, and most importantly, im not the selfish boy i once was. I now consider myself a MAN, and wouldnt trade any stress or worry for an "easy" life again.

I've cleaned up my license, after years of using PrePaid Legal to drive like a madman.

I've started tripping again afte rmany years, and i learn more about myself everyday.

I dont feel a need to self medicate, and can get high for the fun of it again.

Thanks for the thread, just seeing this in print reconfirms all the good im doing with my life. I have good days, and i have bad days (chemical imbalances :thumbdown: ) but i enjoy each day to the fullest.

I see :sun: days in my future, filled with my wife, our kids, our cat, our mush, our growops, adn all we've ever wanted. Settling down in WY near Yellowstone, sunbathing while she writes and i do manly forest-y type things!!!

Good luck everyone in all paths of life.



This is a cool testimony.:thumbup:
Best wishes to you brodder.



Thanks, im glad i have a place to share things. Guess shroomery has changed me also!

Did the rabbit finally get the carrot? HAHA!

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Invisiblepoke smot!
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? *DELETED* [Re: MOTH]
    #12360367 - 04/09/10 06:34 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Post deleted by poke smot!

Reason for deletion: x


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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: poke smot!]
    #12360378 - 04/09/10 06:39 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

poke smot! said:
I wanted to make a loud noise for 4th of july one year so I packed a steel pipe full of gunpowder. My improvised wireless detonator did not work as it did in a dozen tests, instead it blew up in my face.

Now the results of my mistake are in front of me 24/7, and the consequences have effected pretty much everything I do.




A truly life-changing event...you inspire me with your willpower and courage.  Were these consequences ever emotionally/mentally difficult for you to cope with?  Seems like you've now accepted the situation and found the silver lining.

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OfflinePrymaLScReam
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Razzl3Frazzl3]
    #12360411 - 04/09/10 06:53 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I don't know, I guess realizing at 17 that most of my friends weren't really my friends at all and subsequently kicking them all out?

It kinda sucks to be forced to come to the realization that you've alienated everyone who genuinely cared about you in favor of a few cheap thrills, but that gave me more than enough alone time to rediscover myself before trying to rebuild my life. When I ran with these kids, which was for two and a half years of high school, I had no identity, I had no desires, I had nothing to look forward to, really. Every week I would change, it seemed, 'cause I was never getting the time to delve into myself. These were vapid, jealous, self-centered, egocentric rich little shits who were only concerned with two things: how tight their Hollister polos were and how good a show they were putting on for their other rich buddies.

What sucks is that at one point most of them had been nice kids. And I was the one who had brought the group together in the first place. But then their parents bought them nice cars...

My weekends back then were spent drinking cheap beer and listening to people talk shit about each other. I wasted so much life on these people. From one night to the next, it was like reality just bitchslapped me with all its strength. How could it not? After a while it got to a point where these fuckbags literally seemed to be going out of their way to fuck my life up (no lie, one DESTROYED a relationship I had with a girl just cause I would spend my nights calling her instead of talking to him), I guess for the lolz.

I mean, in the short term it threw my social life into a black hole, and I lost touch with more people than I wanted- or needed- to, looking back, but I needed that loneliness for a bit. From one year to the next, it was like a complete 180 from who I was and who I became, but at least I felt like I was being honest with myself for the very first time. And I was living on my terms, finally. I got to learn about tons of cool new shit and discover more music than I'll probably ever have time to listen to, too, which was shweet as well.

I don't think this is anywhere on par with some of the other stories posted, but at least I learned to value friendship a lot more because of it. And I won't just let anybody into my life anymore. It made me a lot more exclusive, I guess, which has been all for the better.

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InvisibleOlympus Mons
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12360463 - 04/09/10 07:19 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

1.i fell in love with a girl who was insane.

2.my mom turned out to be crazy and ruined our family, she now needs a kidney and im the only one who can help her right now (ongoing)

3. 1st mushroom trip

the girl really really broke me down. ive always been overly nice and accepting of peoples behavior it took me getting crushed emotionally to begin to make the changes so that i may have balance in my life.this coupled with smoking weed(A LOT) and tripping for the 1st time opened doors for me that i never even thought existed.sometimes the worst things bring us such beautiful positivity.


--------------------
I close my eyes and seize it
I clench my fists and beat it
I light my torch and burn it
I am the beast I worship....

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InvisibleMOTH
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Olympus Mons]
    #12360667 - 04/09/10 08:27 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

What made her so insane?

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InvisibleAdden
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Newbie]
    #12360861 - 04/09/10 09:24 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Newbie said:
I accidentally outed my Dad [homosexuality] to my mom the same night I found it out, and she went insane and killed herself a few weeks later (at least that's what I believe happened).  This happened when I was 17 and I've been looking at life from a new perspective ever since.  Having everything you've known for 17 years since birth turned completely upside down just does something to a guy.




I was playing Diablo II: LoD on a summer night when I was in my early 20's. I heard a gunshot and my brother had killed himself. He died in my arms. It's been almost 6 years now. I don't know what to say really outside of that. There's not much more to post that I haven't posted before.

I mean, I guess I've helped some people in a way. By sharing my story, I've gotten at least a dozen PM's from members thanking me for helping them rethink what they were about to do. I suppose that's speaking on behalf of the people whose lives I guess I "saved" or "changed their lives forever" but I didn't do anything.

I helped initiate a Survivors of Suicide group on my campus. I only went to the first meeting and someone took the reigns from there. One girl walked in late and sat in the corner and we were in a circle at the other far end. She eventually came over to share that she had found her brother hanging in his closet. She hadn't spoken to another human in two years. She said it was odd to hear the sound of her own voice. I ended up working for the department a few years later and the dept head assured me that "whatever care she's in she's getting it and doing well" -- aka, she's being counseled here and getting help.

I guess reflecting on these things are just as life changing and losing my brother. Life is so fragile. I really hope the above statements don't come off as stroking my e-peen because there's really nothing to be proud of except, I guess, being the person I am today because of what happened.

There's a lot of PTSD, regrets, etc. I'd like to think that if it was the other way around that he'd be holding me while I died. It's terrible to die alone and I'm glad he didn't have to. I ask myself sometimes why it had to be me, but for some reason it seems like it was supposed to be. It's very difficult to explain.

Thanks for sharing, Newbie, otherwise I know that I wouldn't have.

:heart:

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Adden]
    #12360873 - 04/09/10 09:30 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I remember hearing about this and my heart wrenched so hard.  You are such a strong person.  Thanks for being here and sharing your story.

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InvisibleAdden
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12360877 - 04/09/10 09:31 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

:hug:

Thanks for making this thread.

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InvisibleMisterMuscaria
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12360904 - 04/09/10 09:35 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:
Quote:

MisterMuscaria said:
The night before last night I had a horrific seizure.
I had been about 3 days off alcohol and having DT's already and got the bright idea to drop some cid.
I dont think Ill ever be eating synthetic drugs(especially acid) OR alcohol again. If I do do it again it WONT be that foreign stuff on the trippy oversized blotters thats been double dipped...just the US wow or liquid)




Yikes...yeah, that's a wake up call if I've ever heard one.  Are you sure it was acid?  Can you describe the seizure experience you had?



It was tasteless...right now Im not 100% sure it was L but they claimed it was.
It felt as if the devil grabbed me by the foot; twisted it around, twisted my spine, smacked me over on my face and then I started just moving uncontrollably and blacked out. When I came to I was in the back of an ambulance and had hardly the control over my body I used to. The whole rest of the night whenever anyone made any sudden movements I jerked and felt like having another but didnt.
Im terrified of it now.

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InvisibleAdden
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MisterMuscaria]
    #12360912 - 04/09/10 09:37 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Fuck dude that sucks.

LSD and mescaline are the only drugs I could ever use for recreation. I'm pretty sure I abused everything else to the point in which I just can't do it anymore.

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Adden]
    #12360919 - 04/09/10 09:39 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I was tripping so hard that I thought that was it; I thought I was going to die then and there. I looked up in the sky and BEGGED TO GOD (who I formerly didnt really believe in) to let me live if I lived my life differently.

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InvisibleOlympus Mons
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH]
    #12360927 - 04/09/10 09:41 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:
What made her so insane?



she just has deep issues that she needs to work on, as we all do. she's all over the place and bi polar, apparently it's hereditary. she put me through a lot of shit, and me being in "love" i put up with it. for too long.


--------------------
I close my eyes and seize it
I clench my fists and beat it
I light my torch and burn it
I am the beast I worship....

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Offlinealternatereality
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Olympus Mons]
    #12360964 - 04/09/10 09:50 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

I got in a series of 4 really bad car accidents within about a two month period. Each one was increasingly worse and all of them ended in ambulance rides. The fourth one was especially brutal and I was so sure I was going to die that time. We were flying down a hill going 85, there was a huge truck at the bottom that was stopped, and we had no brakes or steering wheel. So we had about a minute before we hit it to accept what was going to happen. I realized how terribly incomplete my life would be if I died right then, and wished that I could have done things differently.

Well, when I woke up in the ambulance, I promised myself that I would make the most of life from then on.

I've stuck to it for the most part. I think it made me a much better person.
And I'm still fucking terrified of cars.


--------------------

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Invisibleluvdemshrooms
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Olympus Mons]
    #12361293 - 04/09/10 11:05 AM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

Olympus Mons said:
Quote:

MOTH said:
What made her so insane?



she just has deep issues that she needs to work on, as we all do. she's all over the place and bi polar, apparently it's hereditary. she put me through a lot of shit, and me being in "love" i put up with it. for too long.




Sounds like my last GF.

It's hard because you really love them, yet inside you hurt.

I finally had to ask her to leave, yet even after a year it's still tough.


--------------------
You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers

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OfflineNewbieS
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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: MOTH] * 1
    #12362038 - 04/09/10 01:26 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Quote:

MOTH said:

Wow, Newbie...how is your relationship with your dad now?  How did he handle your mom's suicide?  Wow, only 17...that's rough. 





It's kind of a weird relationship, but definitely a positive one.  We don't really talk too deeply, it just feels awkward (which I guess is the case for a lot of people) but we look out for each other.  My brother's always in a shit ton of trouble so I play mediator a lot of times.  Most of our discussion comes about when sharing a bowl.  :grin:  He handled it like a normal human being.  Crying, depression, etc.  My brother turned hardcore onto drugs, and I didn't really handle it.  I just put it out of my mind and moved on.  It sounds cold but I just don't know HOW to deal with it.  I know one thing's for sure, my spending habits went to absolute shit, I guess those shopping sprees were my way of coping with a hardship.  :shrug: 


I'm really sorry to hear about your bro Dystopia, that must've been rough, especially the method he chose.  My mom used pain meds so it wasn't necessarily a shocking sight but it still disturbed me nonetheless.  I don't really talk about it a lot either, only to a few people.  It's good to know someone else shares a very similar struggle.  PM me anytime if you wanna discuss it.  :sun:

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Re: Has there been a particular experience in your life which has changed you forever? [Re: Newbie] * 1
    #12362249 - 04/09/10 02:15 PM (13 years, 11 months ago)

Being in labor for 19 hours and giving birth to a 8 lb 5 oz baby boy. Completely sober. Toward the end I felt like I wanted to give up, but my husband was there for me. Definitely made me a stronger person and strengthened our relationship as well.


--------------------

Edited by maerigan (04/10/10 12:34 PM)

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